by Donna Alward
‘Can we play on the computer?’
She eyed her nephew and her heart expanded. Two months ago he’d been listless with no enthusiasm for any kind of play. Understandable given the circumstances, but now it seemed the world held a whole list of endless possibilities.
She climbed out of the car and crossed her fingers, prayed the worst was behind them now. ‘As long as you promise to let Krissie have her turn too.’
He nodded.
‘Okay, go on, then.’
He was about to race off, Krissie at his heels, when Cam came around the side of the house. ‘Hey, Cam.’ He waved.
‘Hey, kids.’
Krissie flung her arms around Cam’s middle and hugged him. Tess couldn’t prevent a squirm of envy.
‘We found the bestest cemetery,’ she announced, releasing him. ‘You wanna come play on the computer?’
He blinked. ‘Um... Maybe some other time.’ He ruffled her hair. ‘I have to chat to your aunt about some stuff.’
Krissie ran off and Cam turned to her with a frown. ‘What’s so hot about a cemetery?’
‘They want to inter their mother’s ashes there.’
He pushed the brim of his hat back to stare at her. She nodded. ‘I know. It took me off guard too. It’s all kind of serious, huh?’ She twisted her hands together. Once they interred Sarah’s remains in the Bellaroo Creek cemetery, there’d be no going back. For good or for ill, Bellaroo Creek would become their home. For good.
‘Are you okay with that?’
‘Sure.’ As long as Bellaroo Creek flourished. As long as the primary school remained open. As long...
She kicked herself into action. Standing still for too long allowed doubts to bombard her. And what was the use in those? Striding around the car, she retrieved Fluffy and the cage.
‘So what’s wrong?’
She sent him a swift glance. ‘Who says anything’s wrong?’
‘I do. Your eyes are darker than normal and you have a tiny furrow here.’ He touched a spot on her forehead, before taking the cage from her.
She folded her arms. How could this man be so attuned to her and yet be so far out of reach? She clamped her lips shut. He was out of reach. That was the pertinent fact. Everything else was just...wishful thinking.
‘Tess?’
She turned away, swallowing back a sigh, and led the way down the side of the house. ‘They want to inter their mother’s remains in Bellaroo Creek’s cemetery, but they’ve made no mention of their father.’
She plonked herself down on the garden bench and watched Cam as he placed Fluffy into her mansion of a coop. He was a joy to watch. He might be big, but he didn’t lumber about like a bear. He moved with the grace of a big cat.
She forced her gaze away, only turning back when he took a seat beside her. ‘And that’s a problem?’
She thought about it. ‘I don’t know. Potentially, I guess. We had Sarah and Bruce cremated, but I had no idea what to do with the ashes. A counsellor suggested I let the children be part of the decision-making process, but they were appalled at the thought of scattering the ashes. So...’
‘So you brought them with you.’
‘They were very insistent that their mother should come with us.’
‘But their father?’
‘Not a brass razoo.’ She shook her head. ‘And I couldn’t very well leave him behind, could I?’
‘I guess not.’ He squinted up at the sky. ‘I expect they’ll need closure at some point.’
‘Lord, I hope so.’ She grinned at him. ‘Because I’m not sure I want Bruce living on the top of my wardrobe for the next twenty years.’
He laughed as she’d meant him to, but he leaned towards her, and that suddenly seemed dangerous. ‘And, yet, why do I get the feeling that if that’s how long Krissie and Ty need, then that’s exactly where Bruce will stay?’
He smelled like cut grass, dirt and fresh air. It hit her that he smelled like Bellaroo Creek. When he went to Africa, he’d be taking a little bit of Bellaroo Creek with him. The thought should’ve made her smile.
‘I met Edna Fairfield.’
He leaned back. ‘Keeping Jack company?’
‘Uh-huh.’
She eyed him for a moment. He rolled his shoulders. ‘What?’
‘She has a very high opinion of you.’
‘I have a high opinion of her and Ted.’
‘They’ll miss you if you leave.’
‘When, Tess. When I leave.’
She shook herself. ‘That’s what I meant.’
He had exciting, not to mention important, work to look forward to in Africa. He had the promise of adventure before him, the once-in-a-lifetime experience of immersing himself in another culture and sharing his knowledge, and helping make the world a better place. She couldn’t begrudge him his dream, but...
She pulled in a breath. ‘I liked her a lot. I don’t know much about cattle, but...but could you teach me what to do so I can help them out?’
‘Nope.’
She gaped at him.
‘Lord, Tess, you think I’m just going to abandon them?’
‘Well, aren’t you?’ He was abandoning all of Bellaroo Creek, wasn’t he?
‘I’ve told Fraser to keep an eye on things out there, to help wherever needed.’
His station manager? ‘It won’t be the same, you know?’
‘That can’t be helped.’
She supposed he was right.
‘If you really want to help Edna out, you’ll drop out there when her fruit trees are full and pick the fruit for her...and ask her to teach you how to bottle it, and how to make jam. She’d love that.’
‘Excellent.’ She’d have to find out when the trees came into fruit. Oh, and she’d better find out what kind of fruit trees they were too.
‘Plum and mulberry. And you’ll be looking at about November.’
The man could read minds.
‘And I also think you should come to judo lessons.’
His sudden change of topic threw her like an unexpected rhythm or an atonal jazz riff. ‘You mean...participate? Be one of your students?’
‘What would it hurt to learn a few self-defence tactics?’
Nothing, she supposed, but she’d never precisely been the sporty type.
‘And you’re going to be there anyway, bringing Ty and Krissie to the class. So, why not?’
She saw it then, what it was he was trying to do. ‘You think Ty and Krissie will feel safer if I know how to defend myself.’ Her heart thumped and her hands clenched.
‘I think it’s a good idea for every woman to know how to defend herself.’
She chewed her bottom lip.
‘Come on, Tess, I’m not talking about grating carrots here.’
He was right. ‘It’s an excellent suggestion.’
‘Good.’
‘Now what can I do for you?’
He blinked. And for a moment she could’ve sworn the colour heightened on his cheekbones. Her heart leapt into her throat and it was all she could do not to cough and choke and make a fool of herself. ‘I mean,’ she rasped out, gazing everywhere except at him, ‘I expect there’s a reason you dropped by this afternoon, other than to bully me into taking your judo class?’
He leapt off the bench and strode several feet away. ‘I wanted to find out what you had in mind for a vegetable garden,’ he said, his back to her, and she knew he felt the same heat, the same urgency, that she did. ‘I am getting forty prime hectares practically scot-free, after all. I mean to keep my word, Tess. Chicken coop—tick. Puppy—tick. Vegetable garden—still pending.’
‘You didn’t just build a chicken coop. You built a chicken palace!’ As far as she was concerned, he’d well and tr
uly paid off any debt he’d owed.
He turned and squinted into the sun. ‘Are you after a, um, vegetable patch on the same sort of scale?’
She laughed at the expression on his face, though she didn’t doubt for a moment that if she wanted it he’d do his best to make it a reality. ‘Truly, Cameron, I just want a home for all of these.’ She gestured to the ragged array of donated pots and planters. ‘And whatever else you think might be a good idea to plant.’
‘I was sorting through them when you pulled up. You’ve a nice variety there.’
‘The town’s generosity knows no bounds.’
‘They want you to stay.’
And she wanted to stay. She had to make this move work. She had to. Her smile faded when she recalled the expression on Edna’s face when she’d wondered aloud about who would tend Jack’s grave when she was gone. A shiver of unease threaded through her.
‘You’re not having second thoughts, are you?’ he rapped out.
‘No!’
‘But?’
She swallowed. ‘But it didn’t hit me until today how tenuous the town’s survival is. And I’ve thrown my lot—and Tyler and Krissie’s—in with the town’s.’ What if the school closed? What if the town did die a slow death? What would they do? It would mean more upheaval and that would be her fault.
‘Tess.’
She glanced up.
‘Nobody can foresee the future. All you can do is make the here and now meaningful.’
Right. She knew he was right.
‘And work with the Save-Our-Town committee to attract even more new blood to the area. Okay?’
She drew in a breath and nodded.
He smiled. ‘Now are you going to help me measure out this garden bed or what?’
‘Aye-aye, sir.’ She clicked her heels together. ‘Right after I ring your mother. Apparently she’s the one I should talk to about organising a plot at the cemetery.’
He dug his phone out of his pocket and tossed it to her. ‘She’s on speed dial.’ Pulling a tape measure from his hip pocket, he moved away to give her a measure of privacy.
She brought up his list of saved numbers. Lorraine’s number was the second on the list.
The first was Lance’s.
All you can do is make the here and now meaningful.
She stared at Cameron’s back as she placed her call.
CHAPTER SEVEN
LORRAINE ORGANISED A working bee at the cemetery with all the speed and efficiency of a conductor’s flourish. ‘We can’t hold a memorial service there with it looking the way it is! It’s beyond time we tidied it up.’
Which was why Tess and the kids found themselves getting ready to return to the cemetery the following Saturday. Tess finally managed to convince Krissie that Fluffy would be much happier staying behind in her chicken mansion rather than attending a busy, noisy working bee. When she rose and turned she found Cam standing directly behind her and her skin flared and her stomach tumbled and a bubble of something light and airy rose within her.
Her heart fluttered up into her throat. She swallowed it back down into her chest and tried to pop the bubble with silent verbal thrusts. He’ll be gone soon. But her brain refused to cooperate. It was too busy revelling in the undiluted masculinity on display. In low-slung jeans, soft with wear, and a faded cotton twill work shirt—with buttons...buttons that could be undone—he made her fingers itch to run all over him in the same way they did whenever she was near a piano.
She took a step back. ‘Hello, Cameron.’
He blinked and that was when she realised he’d been staring at her as intently as she’d been staring at him. Her skin flared hotter. They both glanced away.
‘Are you coming with us to the working bee?’ Krissie asked.
‘Working bee?’
He glanced at Tess. She frowned. Hadn’t Lorraine spoken to him? None of your business. She cleared her throat and folded her arms. ‘The town’s organised a clean-up of the cemetery. We’re just about to head out there now.’
‘I didn’t hear about it.’
She unfolded her arms. Well, why not? It—
None of your business. She folded her arms again.
‘You have to come,’ Ty said. ‘It won’t be the same if you’re not there.’
That was one way of putting it.
Cam smoothed a hand down his jaw. ‘The thing is, buddy, I was going to start on your vegetable garden today.’
‘But we want to help you do that, don’t we, Auntie Tess?’
‘We do.’
‘And the working bee is for our mummy.’ Krissie slid her hand into Cam’s. ‘Please...you have to come.’
Tess had to choke back a laugh. Talk about emotional blackmail! She clapped her hands briskly. ‘Okay, kids, grab your hats and, Ty, make sure you bring Barney’s lead.’
The kids raced off.
Cam stared at her. She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth. He followed the action and his eyes darkened. She released it again, her pulse pounding in her throat. She wheeled away to stare blindly at the backyard. ‘I don’t feel right about you working here without us being around to help. I want to learn.’
‘It’ll mostly be brute work today.’
‘Nevertheless.’
There was a pause. ‘Is that a roundabout way of saying you’d like me to come to the cemetery instead?’
‘I’d love you to come.’ And she meant it. She really wanted him to be part of the working bee, but she wasn’t quite sure what that meant. Except she needed to be careful. Very careful.
She needed to fight her fascination for this man, or it would all end in tears. If they were only her tears that wouldn’t matter, but... She glanced towards the house. ‘I think it’s only fair to warn you that I expect your mother, Lance and Fiona will all be there today.’
Again there was a long pause. ‘You think I’m afraid to come face-to-face with them?’
He stole all that I most cherished.
‘I think you’ve been doing your best to avoid them.’ A part of her didn’t blame him. She wouldn’t want to come face-to-face with the person she loved more than life itself on a daily basis and know they’d chosen someone else. And not just any anonymous someone else either, but a sibling. It’d be like ripping a scab off a wound again and again.
She could understand why he wanted to leave Bellaroo Creek. She could even see why he might need to. She couldn’t see that cutting himself off from the entire community in the meantime was the thing to do, though. He hadn’t done anything to be ashamed of.
‘You know—’ she planted her hands on her hips ‘—I think you’ve made it awfully easy for Lance and Fiona. It wouldn’t hurt them to have to see you on a regular basis and feel awkward and ashamed about what they’ve done.’
He laughed. It surprised her. ‘It’s nice to have you in my corner, Tess.’
Was that what she was? You want to be a whole lot more than just in his corner. She shook the thought off, refused to follow it, tried to focus on the conversation. ‘That’s your problem with your mother, isn’t it? You feel she’s not on your side.’
‘She’s not,’ he said bluntly. ‘She’s always favoured Lance. And, no, that’s not jealous sibling rivalry talking, Tess, but...’
Her heart stilled at the expression on his face. ‘But?’
‘I realised something when we were up at the school the other day. When my mother left my father, he withdrew into himself. He still managed the farm but he had no social life. He let all his friendships slip; he let his position in the community go. When he died he’d closed himself off so completely that the only person left to mourn him was me.’
She pressed a hand to her chest. ‘Oh, Cameron, I’m so sorry.’ What a terrible story. And what a sad househo
ld for a boy to grow up in. No wonder—
‘But I have no intention of following his lead.’
She stared at him for a long moment. ‘That’s one of the reasons you’re going overseas.’
‘I might never have a wife and children, but it doesn’t mean I can’t find meaning in something I’m passionate about. It doesn’t mean I can’t have adventures and contribute to the world.’
Helping to feed the world would be a huge contribution. Africa would be an amazing adventure. He’d experience the most awe-inspiring things and eventually his heart would heal. Eventually.
‘But in the meantime, it’s time to stop holing up like a hermit.’
She lifted her chin. ‘I think that’s an excellent plan.’
He stared at her and then pursed his lips. ‘But?’
This is none of your business. She lifted a shoulder. ‘Just because things didn’t work out with Fiona doesn’t mean you’ll never fall in love again.’
He shook his head. ‘I saw what love did to my father.’ His eyes grew grim, dark...shadowed. ‘No, thanks, once was enough. I’m not diving into that particular hellhole again. I’ll find satisfaction elsewhere.’
She grimaced. Feeding the world was all well and good, but an abstract concept couldn’t give you a big fat hug when you needed it. She opened her mouth but he held up a hand. ‘Leave it now, Tess.’
She moistened her lips and then nodded. He’d make friends on his adventure. They’d look after him. For no reason at all, a hole opened up inside her.
‘You know,’ she started, turning back towards the house, ‘I used to be really good at minding my own business.’
One side of his mouth hooked up. ‘I don’t believe that for a moment.’
The thing was, it was true. She’d been too caught up in her music to notice if anyone had been feeling down or worried. How selfish she’d been! She’d been too self-absorbed to involve herself in other people’s problems, in other people’s lives. In a way, she’d cut herself off as comprehensively as Cam had.
Her chest burned. Giving up music had been a good thing.
