by AC Oswald
The loud ‘ping’ of the microwave indicated that the food was done. Savannah carried it back into the living room. She sat down next to Bethany, who smiled as her eyes ended up on their book. She opened it and grabbed a pen and crossed off more points on their list. She then stared at it, lost in thought.
What was putting that frown on Bethany’s pretty forehead? “What’s on your mind?” she asked.
“I want to ask you something,” Bethany began carefully as she took the plate from Savannah and stuffed some of the casserole into her mouth. “Thanks, by the way.”
“You’re welcome. So…what’s up?”
“The last point on the list. I honestly don’t believe you when you say you don’t remember what you wanted to say there.”
“Beth,” Savannah sighed. “Really, it’s…it’s nothing. Can’t we just forget about it? We have enough points left that we can worry about.”
Bethany shook her head, put the plate on the table, and came closer to Savannah.
“Honestly, Savy, if you don’t want to tell me, may I add something to the list myself? I mean, it’s Christmas, after all. Can I make a wish?”
Savannah frowned curiously. Yes, Bethany had managed to grant her so many wishes already, the least she could do was try to grant her one as well. But what did she want? “Yeah. Sure. Add whatever you’d like.”
Something told Savannah that she wasn’t going to wish for a baby duck or an elephant ride. Something told her that this was more serious, and she could feel herself getting nervous.
Bethany’s pen touched the paper where the B was still written in Savannah’s handwriting, and Savannah could see her swallow as she finished the point.
Then she looked up at her, searching her eyes expectantly.
Be my wife was written on the list, and Savannah’s heart skipped a beat.
“What do you say?” Bethany whispered, her voice shaky.
Savannah didn’t know how much time had passed until she found her voice again. She didn’t know if she should tell her that this was exactly what she had wanted to write—Being your wife. She didn’t know anything anymore.
“Hm?” Bethany tried again, nervously biting her lower lip.
“Beth, I don’t know what to say.”
“Say what’s on your mind,” Bethany told her, her arms crossed in front of her still-naked chest. “Do you want to marry me? Or would you rather not?”
“Beth, of course I want to marry you,” Savannah said, her cheeks burning. “But…I can’t expect this from you, I mean, it’s too much. We won’t have much time, we—”
“Savannah,” Bethany interrupted her, her voice firm. “I love you. You’re the love of my life.”
She was looking into Savannah’s eyes with pure honesty, the lights of the Christmas candles reflecting in her shining blue eyes. “I’ve loved you my whole life, and even when we were still young, I knew I wanted to marry you. It probably sounds stupid, but it’s true.” She visibly swallowed. “I want you to be my wife. I want to be your wife. We don’t know how much time we still have, but nobody knows that. No one who gets married knows how much time they’re going to have. One person could suddenly become sick, could get in an unexpected accident. They might get divorced. All I know is that I love you with everything I have, and when I look back at my life, I want to be able to say ‘I married the woman of my dreams.’ It’s not about time, Savannah. It’s about love. And I have a lot of that to offer.”
Savannah’s eyes were teary, yet she had to laugh. “Why are you so much smarter than me?” she asked Bethany and quickly brushed away a tear.
Bethany’s smile brightened. “Is that a yes?”
“Yeah. Yeah it’s a yes, Beth. It’s a yes.”
Bethany dropped her pen and the list, wrapped her arms around Savannah, and breathed into her neck. “Thank you. I promise I’ll be a good wife. I promise.”
She held her close, pressing her body against Savannah’s while placing kisses all over her face and neck.
“I don’t have a ring. I’m sorry. It was so spontaneous. But I will get you a ring, Savy. A big one. A shiny one with diamonds and everything.”
“Shush,” Savannah whispered. “I don’t need a ring. Not now. Just kiss me.”
10. Get a pink Christmas tree—check
11. Own a tiger—check
12. Design my own tattoo—check
Chapter 12
“Could you move your leg a little? Yeah…like that…”
“Ouch. Ouch, my hair!”
“Sorry.”
Bethany giggled.
“This is more difficult than it looks,” Savannah growled as she tried to spread her legs further without falling out of the hammock. Bethany was lying on top of her, kissing her neck. Savannah’s left hand was searching for anything she could hold on to while her right hand kept pleasuring Beth.
“If only it didn’t swing so much,” Bethany murmured. “Maybe if we move a little less.”
“Your fingers are inside me, babe. How little do you expect me to move, huh?”
Bethany had to grin.
“Good point!” she admitted, kissing Savannah’s nose before focusing on building up a steady rhythm again.
It was cold at the Indian Lake Beach but they both knew what to expect when they had decided to spend the night by the water in February.
The thick blanket wrapped around them probably made the whole hammock experience even more difficult, yet Bethany couldn’t help but love it. She loved the wind in her hair, loved the sound of the small waves, loved being here with Savannah. Oh, and Tigger, of course, who was asleep in his box.
The hammock was tiny and didn’t look very stable, but at least there were palm trees. And did it really matter? The night had already been lovely in its own way.
“Mm…don’t stop, Beth!” Savannah moaned, digging her nails a little deeper into the soft skin of Bethany’s back. The hammock started rocking harder with each and every one of Bethany’s thrusts.
“Yeah…deeper…”
Bethany smirked, moving faster, deeper, harder as Savannah buried her hands in her hair and kissed her to muffle her own moans.
“So close,” Savannah whispered, and Bethany watched the intense pleasure reflect on her features.
“Yes. Oh, fuck, Beth.”
“Oh, fuck, Savy!” Bethany exclaimed. The hammock ripped away from the tree and they landed in the sand with a thud. Bethany lay on top of Savannah.
“Shit, Savy, are you okay?”
“We broke the hammock.” There was a second’s silence, then big grins brightened up their faces. They began to giggle uncontrollably.
Bethany wrapped them up in the blanket so they lay on the sand staring at the sky. “Turn on the radio,” Savannah said. Tigger crawled out of his box, yawning. He looked around, obviously a little confused, before spotting his owners and lazily climbing on top of Savannah’s belly. Savannah reached out her hand to pet the little guy behind his ears, causing the small cat to purr and snuggle even closer.
“He’s so adorable.”
“And he loves you,” Bethany added while still searching for a channel on the old portable radio they had brought with them.
“Oh, it’s the news. Turn up the volume.”
They were both waiting for the football results. There wasn’t much time left until the Super Bowl. When the anchor finally announced the results, the smiles were wiped off their faces.
“They lost,” Savannah said, disappointed. “The Jets lost.”
Bethany’s gaze dropped.
“I guess we can forget that point on the list,” Savannah said, but Bethany shook her head.
“No. They’re going to win next year!”
There was no way that the Jets would screw up
their bucket list. Nope. Bethany wouldn’t accept this.
“Honey,” Savannah whispered as she nuzzled her head against Bethany’s shoulder, “I’m not going to be around for the next Super Bowl.”
Thanks a lot for the reminder. Sometimes it made Bethany angry to hear Savannah say it. To hear her say the things she already knew but that she refused to accept. It made her want to push Savy away and hug her at the same time. It made her want to shake her. It made the little girl inside of her scream and shout, but she had to get used to it. She had to swallow down these feelings. Had to learn that there was a difference between hope and living in denial.
Sometimes the whole bucket list thing just felt like a big, fun adventure. Like two people in love doing silly things together to pass the time. Sometimes she truly forgot what it was really about. Would she be sitting at the beach all by herself a year from now? Would it be just her and the cat?
And a year… What was a year? A year was nothing. The year without Savannah had felt long and tiring, but the five months they had been together again had felt like only five weeks.
Bethany could feel her own hands starting to shake and quickly tried to distract her mind from it all. “I talked to Joan. She wants to come over next weekend to help us with the wedding invitations and initial preparations. We could watch the Super Bowl together anyway, if you want?”
“Yes. Sure. I’d like that,” Savannah agreed. She squeezed Bethany’s hand before bringing it up to her lips to kiss it. “And Beth?”
“Hm?”
“Baby, please don’t stress yourself, okay? I know that there are certain things that we won’t be able to do anymore.”
There it was again. That terrible feeling she had pushed down more or less successfully until now. The hot, uncomfortable shock wave.
“And I don’t mind. It’s been great so far, completely awesome and magical. You know, not all wishes can come true. And they don’t have to.”
“But—”
“No, honey. I’m good as long as I have you…and Joan and Tigger!” she added with a wink. “And I don’t need to see Machu Picchu, okay? Really.”
Bethany swallowed hard, pulling the blanket up to her chin as she focused on staying calm.
“Okay,” she whispered, feeling defeated. Powerless. It was not okay.
It’ll never be okay.
Savannah was more than excited to see Joan again and to spend the day with her two best friends. Not even seeing Loredana was going to change her good mood, especially because these blood transfusions had become a lot more bearable since Bethany was back in her life.
Usually she read books or magazines during the procedure or turned up the volume on her iPod and tried to clear her head, but Bethany had insisted on coming with her this time. She wanted to distract her with funny stories and her positive attitude.
She was sitting in front of her, smiling and petting her leg, while Savannah could feel the fresh blood making her stronger and a little more energetic. Anemia was a typical side effect of cancer, especially after having been through chemo, but after the transfusions, she felt ready to tackle anything.
“What do you want to eat tonight?” Bethany asked, her eyes glowing. “I think we need some typical Super Bowl food—what do you say? Oh, we could build a whole stadium out of cheese and crackers and make an audience out of gummi bears!”
Savannah had to grin. “Whatever floats your boat, baby.”
“And burgers,” Bethany said. “Burgers and fries, of course. And lots of Coke. And Snickers. Peanut butter sandwiches and M&Ms!”
“That sounds very healthy,” Savannah said. “What about breadsticks?”
“Absolutely!”
“So, when does Joan arrive? Did she tell you?” Savannah asked. She was looking at the blood bag connected to her arm and growing a little impatient.
“She already arrived. She’ll be back home when we get out of here,” Bethany said. “I told Mrs. McPherson to let her in, so she will have already showered and stuff. I guess J’s happy that she can stay with us and doesn’t have to stay at her mom’s all the time.”
“Yeah, I don’t blame her.”
Loredana arrived to check on the transfusion.
“Okay, looks like you’re done here.” She carefully removed the needle from Savannah’s arm. “How are you feeling?”
“Good. Great actually, thanks.”
“Any plans for tonight?” Loredana put a little cotton ball on the bleeding spot.
“We’re going to watch the Super Bowl and—”
“Make some important preparations,” Bethany finished off the sentence.
Savannah blushed. Then she noticed the curious look on Loredana’s face.
“Yeah, about that.” Savannah cleared her throat. “Not many people know about it yet, but Beth and I are going to get married. You’ll get a proper invitation soon.”
Loredana’s eyes widened at her words, then a big smile brightened up her face.
“Oh my God!” she exclaimed. “That’s the best news I have heard all day. I am so happy for you both.”
She wrapped her arms around Savannah and held her close before turning to hug Bethany.
All of Savannah’s worries that Loredana would give her a warning melted away. The way the doctor smiled and congratulated them was all the reassurance she needed that marrying Bethany was the right thing to do.
“Have you already set a date?” Loredana asked.
“March 28th,” Savannah said. “We wanted a spring wedding, and it gives us enough time to plan everything. We’re currently looking for the right location.”
“I’m sure whatever place you choose is going to be perfect,” Loredana assured her, and Savannah nodded happily.
On the way home, Savannah pictured all kinds of wedding scenarios in her head, imagined Bethany trying on a slew of amazing wedding dresses, and thought of all kinds of fancy hotel rooms where they would spend their honeymoon and never leave the bed. She hoped she would feel as strong then as she felt right now. She hoped her body would allow her to be a good wife for a good long time.
Mrs. McPherson was busy cleaning the path with her big red broom when they arrived at home. She stared at them with her typical grim expression.
“You have a visitor,” she said before focusing on the pile of leaves at her feet again.
“Thanks,” Bethany chirped happily and got the big box of groceries out of the trunk. “Are you going to watch the Super Bowl tonight, Mrs. M?”
The elderly woman only raised an eyebrow.
“Well, if you do, you should totally come over for a snack. We’re going to build our own cracker stadium!”
“Can’t wait.” Mrs. McPherson stuffed the leaves into a big brown garbage bag.
“Geez, Beth, why are you always so nice to the old witch?” Savannah whispered as they walked up to their flat and she fumbled for her keys.
“I don’t know. I think she’s lonely, and I kinda like her. I think we should invite her to our wedding.”
“And I think you’re insane,” Savannah replied dryly. “But I still love you.”
Bethany smiled and kissed Savannah’s cheek before pushing the door open.
“Holy fuck, J, what is this?” Savannah asked when she entered the apartment.
Joan had done a lot more than take a shower while they were gone. The whole apartment was decorated with green New York Jets flags and garlands. Everything was green, including the sofa, which was wrapped up in green sheets. It looked a little like a private St. Patrick’s Day party.
“Welcome home, Savy,” Joan said grinning. “Like it?”
“I do, but you’re aware that we’re about to watch Pittsburgh versus New Orleans tonight, right?” Savannah gave her friend a dubious look.
&nbs
p; “We aren’t,” Bethany said. She shrugged before wrapping her arms around Joan to greet her. “It looks awesome, J. Score!”
“Okay, hold up. What have you two planned behind my back again?” Savannah wanted to know. “And why do you never include me in your crazy ideas beforehand?”
“Well, isn’t it a lot more fun this way?” Joan took an old VHS tape out of her bag and threw it over to Savannah.
Super Bowl 1969—New York Jets vs. Baltimore Colts was written on it, and Savannah laughed.
“Ebay,” Joan added, shrugging, before taking the groceries from Bethany and carrying them into the kitchen.
Bethany cleared her throat. “You wanted to see the Jets win the Super Bowl, but you didn’t say which Super Bowl it had to be.”
Savannah shook her head, laughing. “Bethany S. Peters, you truly are the master of all bucket lists. I’m fucking impressed!”
Bethany beamed before clapping her hands in excitement. “Wait ’til you see our outfits!”
“We thought it was time to relive the Trashy Triplets cheerleading spirit for one more evening,” Joan said. She nodded in the direction of a big plastic bag on the dining room table. “Open it.”
“Oh my God.” Savannah gasped and took one of the uniforms out of the bag.
The original green Jets uniforms. And not only the usual short skirts. Somehow they had managed to get their hands on the dark green aviator overalls that the cheerleading squad always wore on special occasions.
“This is—”
“Genius? Silly?” Bethany asked slowly.
“Definitely genius. And it will look absolutely hot on you.”
Joan chuckled. “Maybe I should sleep at my mom’s place tonight so you two can appreciate those overalls a little more.”
“No way.” Savannah smiled. “You’re staying. And thank you. Both of you.”
“I’ve never actually seen Joe Namath play before tonight, but he was a fucking rock star!” Savannah said as she stroked her belly, which was full of Snickers, cheese, and breadsticks. The halftime show had just started, and the game had been very entertaining so far. Bethany was happy that Savannah seemed to be enjoying it.
