The Hoffmann Plague

by Tony Littlejohns

  ‘Wow, again! You have had your thinking hat on, haven’t you? Did you come up with all of this in the hour that Megan and I were gone?’

  ‘Pretty much, yes, but it’s been on my mind constantly since they asked us today.’

  Jane leaned over and kissed him. ‘Well done, clever-clogs! I think I have to agree with you, so it looks like we’re moving in a few months, then.’

  ‘I’m glad you agree, hon, as I’d hate for you to be against it or feel upset by it. We’ll still be here until the end of September or maybe October, I reckon. That will give us a chance to harvest everything we’ve planted. We’ll break the news to Megan in the morning. How d’you think she’ll take it?’

  Jane smiled. ‘Well, to be honest, I think she’ll be over the moon! Living on a farm in the country, being close to Sally and having farm animals to feed… Need I say more?’

  Jamie laughed and hugged her. ‘I think we should go over to their place after breakfast tomorrow and let them know the news. It’s only fair that we tell them straight away and I’ll need to discuss lots of things with Bill. We’ll also have to look at the old chicken shed to see what work needs doing to it to make it habitable and make a list of things we’ll need to get.’

  ‘Okay, that’s a good idea. Well, I’m off to bed- are you coming?’

  ‘I’ll be in shortly. I’m going to have a small whisky and a smoke and see if anything else comes to me that we’ll need to do.’

  She kissed him and then stroked Max and said goodnight. Jamie went into the kitchen, poured himself a drink and went outside for a smoke. He wandered down the garden path and Max followed silently to look after him. He opened the gate and sat on the top step, looking out at the full moon in the sky directly above; the white surf shone brightly as the waves broke on the beach. Max sat down and nuzzled his arm: Jamie put his arm round him, pulled him close and stroked him.

  He thought of the day he’d found the bungalow and moved into it, remembering how things had been then. It seemed far longer than just three months because it had been so intense and they’d been fully occupied the whole time. It had become his home and he would be sad to leave it, but Bexhill was no place to live any more, isolated as they were, and it would be worse when they had no vehicles. Their future lay with Bill and Emma at the farm and he knew they were doing the right thing. And it wasn’t as if they would be moving completely out of the area: the farm was only a couple of miles or so from the outskirts of Bexhill. He got up and went back to the house, with Max walking beside him. He brushed his teeth then looked in on Megan, who was sleeping peacefully. He went to his room, got into bed and Jane rolled over to snuggle up to him.

  When he awoke in the morning Jane had already risen. He remembered snatches of a dream he’d had before waking. In it he’d seen what was either a young man or woman- he couldn’t tell which because of the distance- on horseback in a marshy area with stunted trees dotted around. Then they were looking through a pair of binoculars and he could see a hunting rifle slung over their shoulder. It had all gone fuzzy after that, but for some reason he had the feeling that it was linked to him somehow.

  When Megan got up and they were all sitting around the table they told her of Bill and Emma’s offer to go and live at their farm, and that they had decided it was the best thing to do for them all. She gave a little shriek of excitement.

  ‘Oh, wow, that’s brill! I can see Sally all the time then, and Max will love being in the country, too.’ Then she turned more thoughtful. ‘I mean, I like this house and being by the sea and all that, and I know how hard you’ve worked here, but I find Bexhill creepy now with no one around. I don’t believe in ghosts… or zombies; like that rubbish Mum and Dad used to watch on TV when they thought I was asleep; but I just find it creepy. D’you know what I mean?’

  Jane and Jamie both smiled; they looked at each other and she winked at him.

  ‘Yes, honey, we know exactly what you mean,’ said Jamie, ‘and that’s one of the reasons why we’ve decided to go; not because it’s creepy, of course, but because there’s no one here any more. We need to be around more people, with friends who can help and support each other in the future.’

  After breakfast they got the BMW out of the garage and put two shotguns inside, then Max jumped into the load area. Megan sat in the back, leaning over the seat to stroke him. As they went they could see apple trees along the way full of fruit, some almost ready for picking.

  ‘I was just thinking;’ said Jane, ‘as we’re not staying in the bungalow we won’t need to go mad harvesting and preserving all the apples to see us through the winter like we did with the cherries. There’s a whole orchard at the farm, isn’t there? And Bill and Emma will be picking and either storing or preserving all that they can. We can help them with it when we move there.’

  ‘Well, thank goodness for that!’ Jamie exclaimed, laughing. ‘That was rather a mad two weeks. We’ll probably just need to pick enough for a few months and store them for our use until we move to the farm.’

  They got to the farm in about ten minutes with there being nothing else on the road, and when they pulled into the yard Jamie beeped the horn and stopped outside the house. Emma opened the door, smiled and came out to welcome them. They got out of the car and Emma hugged them all, then Bill came out, too, grinning.

  ‘I’m guessing you’ve got an answer for us already, as you’re back so soon!’

  Jamie and Jane both nodded, grinning back at them both. Bill and Emma didn’t need to ask what the answer was; they could see it in their faces.

  ‘That’s great news!’ said Bill. ‘We’re really pleased, aren’t we Emma?’

  ‘We certainly are! You’ve made my day,’ she said and hugged them all again. Bill took Jamie’s hand in both of his and shook it warmly, then kissed and hugged Jane and Megan. Sally came to the door, saw what was going on and yelled with delight, running over to them.

  ‘You’re coming to live with us, aren’t you?’ she said excitedly. They all smiled at her, nodding, and she hugged them. Megan was just as excited as she was and Max was barking and jumping up at them all, almost wagging his tail off.

  ‘Come on, Megan,’ said Sally, ‘bring Max and I’ll show you around the farm.’ The two girls ran off down the yard with Max running along beside them. The adults all smiled at the girls and then went inside to the kitchen. They sat at the table while Emma put the kettle on to make tea.

  ‘Well,’ Bill said, ‘we didn’t expect to hear back from you so soon, but I’m glad. I guess you did a lot of talking last night?’

  ‘Yes, we did,’ Jane replied. ‘Well, to be honest, Jamie did most of the talking and I did most of the listening, although I would have arrived at the same decision if I’d had time to think about it! He had it all thought out, pretty much, while Megan and I were out checking the snares. We both love the house and where we are, and we’ve put a lot of work into it, but your offer makes perfect sense to us for many reasons.’

  Jamie then took over and told Bill and Emma everything he’d said to Jane the night before. They listened attentively, nodding and agreeing at various points with what he said.

  ‘That all makes sense,’ said Emma, ‘and it’s good that you thought it all through properly. We thought it would be a good idea to convert the chicken shed, which was why Bill suggested it. And we understand that you’d want to stay there until the end of the season, after all the work you’ve done there- we’d do the same in your position.’

  ‘I agree,’ said Bill, ‘and I like the idea of bringing as much stuff as we can here from the DIY stores and builders’ merchants. There’s going to be a lot of “make-do-and-mend” in years to come and the more materials we’ve got here, the better. If something goes wrong and needs repairing, the chances of getting an exact spare will be tiny, so we’ll have to improvise with whatever is to hand; even down to having the ability to make rubber gaskets or washers for water pumps and stuff. We can turn one of the outbuildings in the top yard into a ma
terials store. Somewhere like Screwfix will be ideal for getting all that stuff, and we can put up racks and shelving in there for it all.’

  ‘Good idea, Bill.’ said Jamie. ‘I think that once we’ve converted the chicken shed you and I should sit down and make lists of all the things we might need: tools, materials, fixings, etc. Obviously, you know this place better than me and can say if there are any specific things we’ll want for here.’

  Bill nodded. ‘I also think we should start on the conversion now, while the weather’s good and we have the vehicles, as you both said. Once it’s done we can begin moving your things over. We can bring most of it here, just leaving you with enough stuff at the bungalow that you’ll need, until you’re ready to move in.’

  They all agreed and smiled at each other, and after finishing their tea they went for a walk to look at the old chicken shed. The top yard was another large concrete apron, about forty yards long by twenty wide. Along the left-hand side were adjoining buildings for maybe ninety feet; two lower buildings nearest the house first and then three large barn-type buildings with high pitched roofs and sliding doors. At the far end was a gap and then one long, lower building ran perpendicular to them along the yard’s top edge, divided into four separate units. Beyond them were fields and farmland. It was to these that they headed. Along the yard’s right-hand side, marking the farm’s boundary, were a drainage ditch and thick hedge.

  The furthest building on the right was the old chicken shed and Bill showed them inside through a door on the building’s end. The main area was a good size, with a space partitioned off at the back to make a small room. In the wall to the left was a door to another room, with an open loft or mezzanine area above it, accessed by steps against the wall opposite the main door. The room on the left had been turned into a sort of kitchen area many years before and had a large ceramic butler sink, with a hand-pump above it to supply water, and wooden worktops on two sides.

  Jane and Jamie looked round the place and both agreed that it would make a great living area with some basic improvements. They would have to get used to having a lot less space than they had at the bungalow, but that was to be expected. They discussed it for a while and decided on a few things: maybe a new partition wall upstairs to make a bedroom, some better insulation and basic décor, and lots of shelving or racking for storage in the kitchen and living areas, and the wood-burner, of course.

  ‘If you wanted to,’ said Bill, ‘you could even make a porch area, or a sort of conservatory, over the entrance. It faces east so gets the morning sun, which might be nice: just a thought.’

  Having made some decisions, the women then went back to the house for a chat, leaving Bill and Jamie to draw up a list of materials they would need for the job. They looked at each other and grinned; both men loved a project to get stuck into and they were looking forward to it. It would be the first step towards their future life together at the farm and they had a busy couple of months ahead of them.

  Twenty-four

  During the next week Jamie drove to the farm each morning to work with Bill on converting the old chicken shed into their new home, while Jane and Megan stayed at home to work in the gardens. He used his car to save the fuel in the trucks, and took all his cordless power tools and tool kit to leave at the farm. Bill met him at one of the builders’ merchants in Beeching Road in his van on the Sunday and they loaded up with timber, sheets of plywood and various other materials and fixings. The weather had turned during the night and became overcast and drizzly for two days, which made it awkward as they couldn’t cut the materials outside. Having to cut things inside slowed them down a little due to the space, but they made do.

  Back at the house, Jane and Megan were getting wet and muddy while working in the gardens. Megan didn’t seem to mind the weather and was happy stomping about in her new wellies and waterproof coat, while Max watched them from the shelter of the porch. Jane did some exploratory digging to see how the carrots and potatoes were doing in her garden and was dismayed to find that the ones she looked at were rotten. She did some more digging to find that a large number had suffered the same fate. This was a real blow to her as they were relying on this crop to see them through the next two months, and she didn’t know whether it was through disease or some sort of pest. She went further down the garden and checked the parsnips, but they were unaffected, thankfully.

  She went next door to the bungalow’s garden and checked the vegetables there: all the potatoes, carrots and parsnips that she checked were okay and she breathed a sigh of relief. It meant they would be a bit short on vegetables, but most of the salads were still okay, though they had lost a fair number to slugs. They had brought some of the salad pots into the conservatory to protect them from slugs in previous weeks, but it was too hot in there and they found the plants were bolting too quickly, so they’d moved them back outside into some shade and covered them with netting, which helped.

  Jane was pleased at her decision to double-up on the planting of everything in both gardens. Jamie had wanted to use the space to plant a bigger variety of vegetables between the two gardens, but Jane had been insistent that they shouldn’t do that. She’d thought it was better to have the same things spread over two different areas for just such an occurrence, and had been proved right. She gave Jamie the news that evening and he was as disappointed as she had been, but said well done for her decision and kissed her. He told them that the work was going well despite the weather, and they had nearly finished building the partition wall in the loft area for their bedroom.

  On the Tuesday Bill came to the bungalow in his van with Phil to help Jamie take out the stove from his lounge and the range from Jane’s kitchen. Jamie had told Bill about Jane’s idea to take the range so they would have a proper oven and cooker in the new place, which they both thought was a good idea- if only they could get it out and transport it! Bill had a hydraulic lift that he used for shifting logs, which he said would do the job as it was rated for over a ton, but it would still be difficult. He also brought some sturdy steel ramps that might be useful.

  It proved to be a rather long and cumbersome job as it was so heavy. After disconnecting the flue they managed to get the hydraulic lift’s platform underneath the range and raise it, but negotiating the doorways and getting it out to the front garden was a bit of a nightmare. Once outside the three men stood there scratching their heads, thinking of ways to get it into the back of the van. The problem was that the lift’s platform didn’t go up quite high enough to be able to slide it into the van and none of them wanted to risk injury lifting it in. They stood there for a while, each coming up with ideas that were debated and dismissed. Jane stood silently next to them, listening to what they said and thinking, before chiming in with a suggestion.

  ‘Why don’t you use the Toyota instead of the van? If you park the Land Rover in front of it you could run the winch cable over the cab’s roof, wrap it around the range and drag it up the ramps into the back.’

  The three men all looked at each other for a few seconds and then Jamie, grinning, said ‘I’ll tell you what, guys, why don’t we use the Toyota instead of the van, then we can use the winch…’ He ducked just in time as Jane’s right hand came up to clout him. They all laughed and then congratulated her on the idea.

  Jane grinned. ‘What would you lot do without us women? Sometimes it just takes a bit of lateral thinking!’ Megan clapped and cheered, giving Jane a high five with a big grin on her face.

  They moved the vehicles around accordingly and set to work, and in a short while the range was sitting securely tied down in the back of the Toyota. Jane asked what they would do at the other end to unload it, but Bill said that was no problem as he had a big hoist with block-and-tackle to drop it down onto the hydraulic lift again. After that, the stove from the lounge was a piece of cake, relatively speaking. There were some extra pieces of flue and various fittings left over from the installation in the garage, so Jamie took these along with the flues they had remov
ed. As an afterthought he put the welding gear into the truck as well, in case they had any problems.

  They said goodbye to Jane and Megan then headed off in the two vehicles, stopping off in Beeching Road to visit Screwfix and the two builders’ merchants to pick up extra fittings that might be needed. Back at the farm they unloaded the range using the block-and-tackle and managed, with a lot of sweating, to get it into place in the kitchen area. They then did the same with the stove in what would be the main living area, on the same wall as the door.

  Bill and Jamie thanked Phil for his help and he went back to his work on the farm, saying ‘No problem, guys; give me a shout if you need me again.’

  They knocked a couple of holes in the wall near the top to take the flues outside for the range in the kitchen and the stove in the lounge, but had problems with the angles and the fittings they had. Jamie had to use the welding gear to cut some of the tubing to fit and weld it in place. It was the first time he’d done any welding in nearly twenty years and the results were a bit rough-and-ready, but functional. He looked at Bill and shrugged.

  Bill grinned at him. ‘Well, I suppose a blind man on a galloping horse would like to see it!’ and they both laughed. Emma brought them some big slices of pheasant pie with a couple of beers and Jamie said it was just what the doctor ordered and kissed her. They sealed up the holes in the wall around the flues with fire cement and by late afternoon both jobs were finished. They stood back to admire their work and clinked their beer bottles together.