Rim Shot Rebound

by Leigh Landry

  Kelsey sat in her car until the dashboard clock read one minute until rehearsal. Only then did she grab her drumsticks before sending a text to Robin letting her know she was there and would meet them in the studio. The last thing she wanted was to get caught with extra time to talk. To anyone. She’d been flip-flopping on her decision to tell Eric about her pregnancy all week. She was afraid one innocent stray word might tip her back to chicken-land where she’d change her mind and keep her mouth shut. Because she was pretty sure she finally wanted to tell Eric. Tonight.

  He deserved to know. He deserved to have a chance to make up his own mind about them.

  Inside the studio, Kelsey sat on her throne and instantly felt the discomfort. She unbuttoned the top of her jeans and wondered how much longer she could pull this off. How long before she felt pressure at more than just her waistline? How long before she’d need help getting up, wobbly with an offset center of gravity? How long before she’d need to put up her drumsticks, just when they’d settled on a new fiddle player and were bringing in new tunes? Surely Robin had a whole album in mind. Would Kelsey have to sit out recording that, too?

  She had no idea. She’d never been past this stage before. She wasn’t even sure whether or not her body could get past this stage—despite her doctor’s reassurance that these things happen and that one late first trimester loss probably didn’t have any future implications—so there was no point dwelling on all of these what-ifs now. Not yet, at least.

  Lauren entered the studio first, fiddle case in hand, followed by Natalie with her guitar bag slung over one shoulder and a raised eyebrow aimed at Kelsey. Kelsey gave her friend a thumbs up while still holding her drumstick, but quickly dropped her hand below the toms as Eric entered the room. He was sporting a casual look that night with his dark forest green fedora, a sleek black T-shirt, and loose-fitting jeans. She gave him a quick smile like nothing was wrong, then looked down at her feet and tested out her pedals.

  They’d talked on the phone a couple nights and texted throughout the week, but she’d made excuses not to get together. She’d sent him her lyrics so he could add them to his sheets. He tried to get her to come over to make sure he was lining up everything in a way that worked, but she insisted she trusted him with that. He was much better at that part anyway.

  “All right,” Robin said when they were set up. “Let’s hear this new song I’ve heard absolutely nothing about.”

  Eric flashed a bright, confident smile and a quick wink at Kelsey, then walked around the room to pass out sheet music. “I don’t have parts for everyone yet. Just the melody with the lyrics and the chord changes. Lauren, can you help me and read the melody line?”

  “Sure.” Lauren lifted her fiddle and bow and waited while Eric set up at the keyboard off to the side of the room.

  “Ready?” When Lauren nodded, he said, “We’ll play through it once so everyone can get a feel for it, then we can all play around with the harmonies and instrumentations. Sound good?”

  Everyone agreed, so he counted off, then began the first few bars alone. Lauren came through on fiddle a few bars later with long, mournful tones as Kelsey imagined Robin singing those notes with her words. Her eyes followed along on the sheet, and her heart swelled at how naturally her words danced with Eric’s music.

  When they finished, Natalie nodded at Kelsey. Robin’s voice boomed through the little room. “I love it!”

  “Yeah, me too,” Lauren said. “And it’s real easy to pick up.”

  Natalie agreed. “I was fingering those chord changes along with y’all, and this’ll be a quick one to learn. Great lyrics, Kel.”

  Kelsey felt her cheeks warm with blush and nodded at Eric. “I had a great partner.”

  Eric caught her gaze and held it with his deep, soulful eyes for longer than was comfortable or appropriate, but Kelsey couldn’t help getting lost in his stare.

  “Damn right,” Robin said. “Let’s get everyone in on this once, so we can see how we want the accompaniment to go. I’ll just play the melody on my box for now, since I’m better playing than sight singing.”

  Eric took his music back to his bass and stood beside Kelsey. “See,” he said. “I told you it was great. Never doubt my faith in you.”

  She wanted to believe that affirming smile of his. With all of her heart she wished that was all it took. A smile and his faith. But it wasn’t his faith in her that was in question or that would be put to the test later.

  * * * * *

  After rehearsal, Kelsey pushed off her throne, a little slower than normal, and lightly tapped Eric on his smooth, muscular arm with her sticks. “I’ll meet you outside.”

  Then she headed for the door without waiting for a response. But she couldn’t escape without going through the gauntlet.

  “Seriously, I love the song.” Lauren zipped her case and walked toward the door alongside Kelsey.

  “Thanks.”

  “See you next week, Kelsey,” Robin called at her back. “Nice work!”

  “Thanks!”

  Natalie trotted up to flank Kelsey opposite Lauren. “Yeah. Great song.”

  “Mmhmm.” Kelsey knew Natalie had more to say than that, but she wasn’t having this conversation with Lauren in earshot. Not that she had anything at all against Lauren. She just wasn’t close enough with her yet to have this conversation.

  She wasn’t even ready to have this conversation with Eric, but it needed to be done. She couldn’t sleep with him and hide this, so she either had to break things off entirely or tell him the truth. And the way she felt when he looked at her, not to mention the way she felt after last weekend with him, she knew there was really only one choice here. She just had to have faith in him. She had to have faith that he’d grown and wouldn’t make the same mistakes. Because there was no way she could go through all of that again.

  “See y’all next week.” Lauren waved and headed into the grass beside her car, while Natalie and Kelsey continued down the gravel driveway.

  “Sooooo,” Natalie said when they reached her car. “Did you tell him?”

  “Not yet.” Kelsey bit the inside of her mouth. She wasn’t normally a worry-chewer, but she was wearing a sore spot in her mouth this week.

  “Is that why you look like you’re going to barf, or is that the morning sickness?”

  “The morning sickness is mostly just morning now. So yeah, I’m gonna tell him when he gets out here.”

  “You’re gonna tell him you’re pregnant. Here. Now. On Robin’s front lawn.”

  “That’s the plan.”

  “Jeez you’re shitty at plans.” Natalie smiled and nudged Kelsey’s arm. “It’s gonna be fine.”

  “I know.”

  “You know he’s gonna be thrilled.”

  “Yeah, that’s the problem.”

  Natalie frowned and crossed her arms. “That’s a good problem to have. Stop making this harder than it is.” She nodded over Kelsey’s shoulder. “Or at least brace yourself.” She put a hand on Kelsey’s shoulder. “Good luck. You know where to find me if you need.”

  “I do. Thanks.”

  Natalie got in her car and drove off, and Eric’s long strides carried him across the grass through her empty spot right after. “Went pretty well, huh?”

  “What?”

  Eric’s brow wrinkled. “The song?”

  “Oh, the song,” Kelsey said. “Yeah. Great.”

  He opened the trunk of his van. “Everything okay with you?”

  Kelsey took a deep breath. She’d already made the decision. She just had to tell him. “No.”

  “No? What’s wrong?”

  “I mean, yes. I’m okay. So far. I think.”

  “So far?” He slid his bass into the back of the van and reached for the trunk door. “What’s going on, Kel?”

  She took another deep breath and said, “I’m pregnant,” just as the van trunk slammed shut.

  Eric flinched and stared at her wide-eyed beneath the brim of his fedora. He leaned
his head forward. “What did you say?”

  “I said I’m pregnant.”

  He stood in shock for a second, then moved toward her, only to freeze again. He put a palm against his chest. “And it’s…”

  “Yours, yes.”

  As the words sank in, his eyes danced with joy and confusion. Then, the inevitable.

  He put his hands on her arms. “Are you okay?” Then his forehead wrinkled in confused again. “Wait, can you know that fast?”

  Kelsey shook her head. “The last time, before this weekend. We’d all been drinking after that gig, and we weren’t exactly…careful. And yes, I’m fine.”

  She watched the tightness in his face as he mentally did the math. “Jesus, Kelsey. You’ve known all this time? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  It was a fair question. One she knew he’d ask. One she didn’t have an easy answer for. “Pretty sure we covered that Saturday night.”

  “Saturday night.” He was quiet for a second. Replaying their conversation, their time together. “Oh, God. Saturday night.” He held her arms tighter, but still gently, and looked her up and down. “But you’re okay? That didn’t—”

  “It’s fine.” Kelsey laughed. Why did men always think they could poke the fetus? “I promise. It’s fine.”

  His brow was strained, then his eyes widened with a realization. “The candy. The suckers.”

  She nodded. “It’s getting better.”

  He relaxed a little, and his lips quirked into a small smile. “Well, that’s good. Are you…I mean, is this past…last time?”

  A wave of nausea that wasn’t morning sickness rolled through her. She reminded herself that it was natural for him to be worried about her. Especially considering her history. “No. That’s partly why I didn’t want to tell you yet.”

  He closed his eyes. “I get it.” He opened them again, the rims of his eyes red now. “What made you decide to tell me now?”

  “I couldn’t be with you and hide this.” She left out the part where she couldn’t figure out how to not be with him anymore. That wasn’t a power she felt like handing over just yet. Plus, she wasn’t sure it was entirely true. If she got the hint that he cared more about them as a family deal, or if she felt like he might bail on her, she would pull the plug on this relationship before he had the chance to hurt her that way again.

  If it wasn’t already too late.

  He moved his warm hands up to place them on the sides of her face, tilting her head up toward his. With a deep, soulful stare, he said, “Thank you for telling me.” He stared at her some more, then said, “Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for letting me be here for you.”

  When he kissed her, his lips were soft and warm against hers. He held her there with a long, loving kiss edged with grief and regret. She kissed him back with all the reassurance she could muster. Not quite hope or faith, but at least a kiss of truth, respect, and…love.

  He broke away and said, “Come on. Let’s go talk at my house for a while.”

  “I should get home.” It had been a lot for one night. She felt euphoric and sick all at once. The only thing she wanted to do now was go home and absorb everything. “I’ve been really tired lately, and I’ve got to work in the morning. I should just go to sleep.”

  “You could sleep at my place.” He wagged his thick, dark eyebrows.

  “That doesn’t instill much confidence that there would be much sleeping.” She laughed and patted him on the chest, part of her wishing she could keep her hand there for a while and do more than sleep beside him. “There will be plenty of time for that. I really do need sleep. I promise we can talk more another day.”

  “Okay, fine,” he said. “But you’re sure you feel okay? No cramps or anything?”

  “I’m fine.” In truth, she’d felt nothing last time either. It had felt like what she’d thought was a normal pregnancy. No signs that anything was wrong at all. Even her body couldn’t face the fact that she’d lost the pregnancy. The only indication was that damned ultrasound.

  She tiptoed to meet him with another quick kiss. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

  “Okay,” he said. “But promise you’ll call me if you need anything. Day or night. Call me.”

  She looked at him, the sincerity and unabashed hope clear in his face, and nodded. Maybe this time would be different. Maybe this time everything really would be okay.

  “I promise.”

  Chapter Eight

  Eric scrolled through his playlists until he found the right one and set it to air on his living room speaker. A few seconds later, his house filled with the edgy, bluesy voice of Grace Potter. He’d made a playlist filled with Kelsey’s favorites over a year ago, so she’d always have something she liked when she came over. They listened to each other’s music all the time, but he wanted her to always feel at home here.

  He hurried back to the kitchen to toss the pasta in with the sauce. He’d tasted it at least ten times, trying to get it just right. Exactly the way he remembered it. It was pretty darn close, if not perfect.

  When Kelsey’s signature knock echoed through his kitchen, Eric wiped his hands on a towel and opened the side door. She walked into the kitchen wearing a black Zildjian T-shirt with faded ripped jeans. Her dark hair had a chunk of bright, freshly dyed purple, and a euphoric wave of excitement and anxiousness flooded him as she passed.

  Kelsey lifted her nose in the air, and her eyes widened with delight. “Is that what I think it is?”

  Eric scooped pasta high in the air and piled it on a plate. He then spooned extra scallops and shrimp on top. “Sure is.”

  “Oh my goooooosh.” Kelsey greedily grabbed for the plate and held it steady while Eric shaved fresh parmesan over the top. “I swear I still have dreams about this stuff. You found a recipe for it?”

  “Sort of.” He served himself a portion from the stove, then followed her to the little dinette table in the next room. “Remember Warren?”

  “From school? Sax player?”

  “Yeah. He moved to New Orleans a couple years ago. I found out his roommate’s a chef. Used to work at that restaurant we went to. I begged Warren to find out how to make this.”

  That reaction—her satisfied smile, the delight in her eyes, everything—was worth the massive favor he now owed Warren. Worth that and more.

  She took a bite and leaned back in her chair. “It’s delicious. Thank you.”

  He poured them both sparkling raspberry-flavored water into wine glasses. “Glad you like it.”

  “Absolutely.”

  “That was a fun trip. I still can’t believe you went up and sang at the Cat’s Meow stone-cold sober.”

  “You can thank Natalie and Camille for that.” She laughed. “They needed another Spice Girl on stage.” Kelsey’s expression quickly fell as she shifted uncomfortably in her chair and took a sip of water.

  “What?” he asked.

  She shook her head.

  “It’s something. What’s wrong?”

  Kelsey frowned and hesitated. “That was the last trip we took together.”

  They used to go away all the time. Just a day trip or a night here and there, to New Orleans or Houston or Galveston. Spur of the moment, usually. Sometimes with friends, sometimes just the two of them.

  She was right. That weekend had been the last one they spent together. She had finally started feeling a little better as the morning sickness waned, and she’d felt restless from being cooped up and sick for so long. Only a few days after they got home, Kelsey found out she’d lost the baby.

  Eric looked down at his plate, then over at hers. “Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t even—”

  “It’s fine,” she said.

  “No, it isn’t. I should have remembered.”

  “You did remember. You remembered the good stuff that I tend to forget. And you made an amazing meal.” She put a hand on his. “Plus, I’m actually hungry for the first time in forever, so you’d have to pry the plate from my cold, dead finge
rs before I stop eating this.”

  To make her point, she stuffed a large pile of pasta into her mouth and wagged her thin, dark eyebrows, daring him.

  If he hadn’t already been over the moon for this woman, he’d have fallen in love with her right then and there. “Understood.”

  They ate the rest of their meal and caught up on the last couple days. They’d both been working and Eric had had a gig the night before, so they hadn’t had much time to talk since rehearsal.

  Since Kelsey’s news.

  He kept things casual and light all through dinner, then ordered her to sit on the couch while he put up the dishes.

  “I’m not an invalid, you know. I’m just pregnant.”

  “I know,” he called from the sink where he ran water over their scraped-clean plates. “Just let me soak these. The rest can wait.”

  He dumped the plates and utensils in the dishwasher, put the leftovers in a container, and soaked the pan in the sink. When he finished, he took his glass and met Kelsey on the couch, where she sat hand-drumming on her thigh to an Evanescence song.

  “You look like you’re feeling good.”

  She nodded. “This week has been better.”

  “Good. I’m glad. For you, I mean.” He cleared his throat. “So, I was thinking.” He tapped his foot nervously on the floor, then patted his own leg to stop himself. “I was wondering if I could go with you. To an appointment or something.”

  Kelsey stiffened a little, but nodded at him with a wary tightness on her face. “Sure. If you want to.”

  He held her gaze. “I do.”

  He also didn’t want her to have to go through that alone. He knew she’d be terrified. This was getting close to when they lost the baby last time. This next check-up had to be nerve-wracking for her.

  “It’s in a few weeks. I haven’t put it in my calendar yet, and the card’s at home.”

  “Just let me know when, and I’ll be there.” He reached over and took her hand, playing with her short but powerful fingers and running his own fingers along her palm. “Thanks for letting me in. I want to be there for all of it, you know. For everything. For you and the baby. I want to be by your side for everything from now on.”