Blue Sky

by Alana Albertson

  “Hi sweetie. Did you have a good day at school?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “There’s the daddy daughter dance next month. And Rosa said because I don’t have a daddy, I can’t go!”

  Fuck. My throat tightened. I remembered exactly how it felt to get those fliers. Stupid school. Why did they have those events when it just made some people feel left out? Every year when I found out about that damn dance, I wanted to hide at home and not ever go to school again. Mónica would be missing it also since they went to the same school which was a TK-8th grade. I wanted to weep for Ana María. I wanted to weep for Mónica. I wanted to weep for myself.

  “Baby, I’ll take you.”

  She shook her head. “You are my sister, not my daddy. That will make it even worse. Everyone will laugh at me.”

  “Tell you what. I’ll make it up to you. Once we get to San Diego, I’m going to have enough money for you to take dance classes. And then you can go to so many dances.”

  “Really? That would be the best. I love you.” She wrapped her arms around my neck.

  “I love you, too.” I adored her. I didn’t resent at all that I had to take care of my sisters. I wanted to give them everything.

  But I couldn’t give them a male role model. A father. Someone who would love and protect them the way Beck loved Sky.

  I had to focus on what I could give them. A roof over their heads, food in their bellies, and clothes on their bodies. I still had hope that I could do right by them.

  My moment of hope was quickly dashed when I spied Mónica walking out of school, holding hands with a boy.

  Oh hell no.

  “Mónica! Let’s go.”

  “Can I hang out for a bit?” She pressed against his boy’s chest and he touched her bottom.

  My own body tensed up. “No. We have to leave now.”

  The boy wrapped his arms around my sister and kissed her. God, she was only in eighth grade. I was doomed. I didn't know how I would get through the teen years with her alone.

  But then again, I had been messing around with boys when I was her age also. But I had been determined to make a better life for myself. I didn’t know if Mónica would emerge from high school unscathed.

  She slowly walked toward me.

  “Who was that?”

  “Oh, just Jaime. He’s just a friend.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “Do you normally kiss your friends?”

  “Just the cute ones.”

  Ay, Mónica. I swear. But I didn’t want to lash out at her today. No doubt all the girls in her class were talking about the father-daughter dance today. Maybe some of them even had dresses. I remembered when I was in eighth grade it was my final chance to go to the dance. I had prayed that Ana María’s dad would take me. I had left the flyer on the kitchen table for weeks. Finally, I had worked up the nerve to ask him.

  And I’ll never forget what he said.

  “I’m not your father.”

  That night, I had run away from home for the first time. Drowned my sorrows in the kisses of a high school boy. Lost my virginity in the back seat of his father’s car. Trying to numb away the pain.

  I wiped away a tear.

  I stopped at the grocery store to pick up some food for dinner for the girls. Beck had already paid me for my first three weeks. But I was careful to save the funds for everything but food. I needed every penny I earned for once I arrived in San Diego.

  We walked over to my uncle’s apartment. Unfortunately, he was at home, sitting there like a sloth, holding a bottle of tequila like it was glued to his palm. Ever since he had been fired from his job and his wife had left him, he had given up hope. Not that I blamed him. It was hard enough to get a job in this town, and once you lost your chance, it rarely came back around.

  “Hola. Did you bring any food?”

  “Yup. I’ll start cooking now.”

  I quickly headed to the kitchen and sautéed and seasoned the meat. As I was wrapping the mixture into the tortillas, I saw that my uncle was going through my purse.

  Oh hell no. “Tío. What are you doing? That’s my money.”

  “I’m watching your little brats. You should pay me.”

  No. I couldn’t pay him. That would defeat the whole point of taking this job. “No. I need to save it. Please give it back.”

  He grabbed a bunch of twenties and I wanted to cry. I ran over to him.

  “Give me my money back or I’ll call the cops.”

  He laughed. “If you call the cops, I’ll tell them that you dumped your sisters here. And they will take them away.”

  Fuck. That could definitely happen. But I needed this money. “Please. Once I get more I’ll send you some. I promise. I need this money to move.”

  He didn’t flinch and put the money in his pocket.

  Rage took hold of me and I lunged toward him, but he grabbed his tequila bottle and hit me across the face with it, sending shards of glass everywhere. A sharp pain radiated above my eye, and when I reached up to my head, I could see blood on my hands.

  Mónica screamed. “What the hell, Tío José?”

  He grumbled something and went to his room.

  “You okay, Lo?”

  Blood dripped down from my brow and on to my shirt. I sat in the middle of the living room, crying.

  Mónica got a towel and hydrogen peroxide and dabbed my face. It stung.

  This wasn’t working. I had to get my sisters out of here.

  “Come on, We are leaving.”

  “Lo, we have nowhere to go. We can’t go to mama’s. If she isn’t there and the cops come by, they will take us in foster care. Just finish your job. We need you to.”

  I shook my head. “No, I can’t leave you here with him. He’s a drunk. A thief. An abuser. This was a stupid idea.”

  “He never touches us. It’s only for three months. This is our only way out. I keep Ana María away from him. We will be fine. I don’t have any money for him to take, and I clean the house. We stay quiet.”

  I was impressed how mature she was being, watching my sister. I wish she could just be a kid, even thought I had never been one. But she was right. I had no choice. Otherwise the girls could end up in foster care, and I would never get them back. I had to make this work somehow. This was my only way out.

  I hugged Mónica and Ana María. “I love you girls so much. We will get through this. Please be strong for me.”

  And I prayed again. For another miracle. If I could only get through this job, I just knew we would be okay.

  Chapter Ten

  Hamburgers

  The hot water beaded down my chest as I scrubbed my body. An image overpowered my mind of Paloma in the shower with me.

  I tried to push the fantasy of her naked body out of my head, but it wouldn’t budge. I imagined water cascading between her full breasts and down her curves. Turning her around and taking her from behind, grabbing her round ass as I fucked her tight pussy.

  Dammit. I was her goddamned boss. I was no better than Sawyer. I couldn’t think of my nanny like that. What the fuck was wrong with me?

  It had to be that I was just missing my wife. And that I was horny as fuck. Catherine had had a difficult pregnancy—she was bedridden for most of it, so we had been unable to make love. But that hadn’t bothered me in the least. All I wanted was a healthy baby. I had prayed so much that Sky would be okay, never thinking that in a cruel twist of fate that I would lose my wife instead.

  But God had other plans in store.

  Something about Paloma intrigued me. I didn’t pity her; it was nothing like that. I admired her. She was so strong. Many people would’ve given up with the lot she had been dealt. Drowned their sorrows in liquor, drugs, or sex. But Paloma seemed so positive and upbeat. I couldn’t believe she had never left this town.

  I can show her the world.

  My wife had been dead for nine months, and I had finally accepted the fact that she was never coming back.
For the last nine months, I had never thought seriously about another woman. But now, everything seemed different. Was I falling for Paloma?

  I mean, it had been Catherine’s idea for me to hire a local nanny when I returned. And she had told me in her final words that she loved me and wanted me to be happy.

  Even so, I felt guilt. I turned my rage toward myself and took a calming breath.

  I toweled off and got dressed. These thoughts were normal. I had no reason to be ashamed. I couldn’t help my desires, but I was in control of my actions. And I was an honorable naval officer. I would not hit on my daughter’s nanny. I wasn’t that guy.

  I walked down the hallway, and realized that Paloma was already home. She must’ve come in while I was in the shower. I wished she had joined me. Dammit, there I went again.

  Her hair was wavy and wild, and I couldn’t help but think that her hair would look like that after sex. Maybe she had just had sex with her hidden boyfriend.

  Stop, dude. You have no right to know about her personal life.

  She was sitting on the sofa, and Sky was playing in her Pack n’ Play. Instead of greeting me like Paloma normally did, she remained quiet. As I approached her I noticed that she was looking down at the floor.

  Maybe she could sense that I wanted her. I had to stop flirting with her.

  “Hey. How are your sisters?”

  “Good.”

  She still didn’t look up at me. Something was wrong.

  “You okay?”

  “Yup, just tired. There are leftovers in the fridge if you are hungry.”

  Yeah, something was definitely wrong. I didn’t mind at all if she didn’t want to cook for me. I could take care of myself, and her for that matter. But her voice was low, and she had still not looked up at me.

  I sat down next to her and a lump grew in my throat when I saw a big, open gash above her forehead.

  What the fuck?

  My vision clouded. “Paloma, what happened to your face?”

  She covered her face more. “Nothing. It was stupid. I tripped walking and fell. There was some glass in the street. I’m fine.”

  She was lying to me. But I wasn’t angry. I could tell from her slumped posture and the despondent look on her face that she was embarrassed.

  I took her hand and she started crying. Before I could stop myself, I pulled her into my arms.

  “Hey, listen. You can tell me anything. I’m not going to be mad, I just want to take care of you. What happened? Did some guy hit you?”

  “It was my uncle. He went through my purse and stole my money. When I confronted him, he smashed his tequila bottle over my head.”

  Ah fuck. I clenched my fist. I wanted to kill that mother fucker for touching Paloma.

  But then a chill came over me. Paloma at least was safe in my house now. Her sisters were with this jerk now.

  “Are your sisters still with him now?”

  She nodded. “Yes. But don’t worry about them. They will be fine. He’s good to them.”

  My chest constricted. Here I thought I was giving this woman the opportunity of the lifetime—and I was—but I didn’t realize that by doing so, I was also putting her and her family in danger. She was the sole caretaker of her sisters, and now her sisters were living with an abuser to care for my daughter.

  “He just assaulted you, Paloma.”

  “He won’t hurt them. He’s fine except when he drinks.”

  “How often does he drink?”

  Her voice dropped. “Every night.”

  Yup. Nightmare. What had I gotten myself into? I could fire her, so she could go take care of her sister, but she was so great with Sky. And it wasn’t fair to fire her when she had put her sisters in danger to take this job. She needed this job, this opportunity. And I was starting to have feelings for Paloma. She was incredible. And I wasn’t the only one who thought so. Her references had been stellar. Everyone praised how hard working, smart, kind, and determined she was. Her teacher had even told me that she had begged Paloma to accept her college scholarship, but Paloma wouldn’t consider leaving her sisters behind. I respected the hell out of her decision. And I wasn’t sure that I would’ve put off my dreams of being a pilot for my own family.

  Her refusal to chase her dreams to take care of her sisters doomed her to stay in this barren town.

  And now, to take this job, I had forced her to leave them in a dire situation.

  This was a new year. My old life died with my wife. Catherine hadn’t wanted me to wallow in my grief, but to instead help others less fortunate. It didn’t seem right to have Paloma’s sisters suffer so she could work for me. Especially since I was living in a four-bedroom, two-bath home paid for by the government.

  I couldn’t believe what I was about to say.

  “I’m not sure this is going to work out. I don’t want your sisters to have to stay in an unsafe situation.

  Her bottom lip quivered. “Oh, please, Beck. They will be fine. Please don’t fire me. I really need this job. This is the best thing that has ever happened to me. They are my problem, not yours. They won’t interfere with my work or my care for your daughter.”

  Dammit. I had definitely not said that right.

  “I’m not firing you. But I have a big place here, and I’ll be working most of the day. Your sisters are welcome to stay here.”

  Her eyes bulged. For a second, I thought she would immediately accept my offer, but she shook her head. “No. That won’t be necessary. They are fine at my uncle’s. I’m sorry I bothered you with my problems. I should get Sky ready for bed.”

  Had anyone ever done anything nice for this girl? “Sky is fine right now. Look, I insist. You can’t focus on my baby if you are worried about your sisters.”

  She met my eyes and didn’t look away. “Nope. It’s out of the question. I don’t need your help.”

  I was enjoying her little defiant streak. I loved that she wanted to earn everything herself. But I had received favors in my life that had helped me achieve my goals. And I was going to give her one.

  “Then, I rescind my job offer. If your sisters don’t stay here, you can’t work here. You will be too distracted to concentrate. That’s my offer. Take it or leave it.” There, that ought to do it.

  Her mouth slackened. “Wait, what? Are you sure? You really want them to stay here? Are you kidding me?”

  “Yes, I’m serious. It’s only for seven more weeks until I go back to Pensacola. It will be nice to have some laughter around here.”

  Tears welled in Paloma’s eyes. “¡Ay, Dios mió! I can’t believe this. This is the best day ever. I promise they will behave. And they love babies. We will keep this house clean, and we will be quiet. You won’t even know we are here.”

  “I’m going to call Declan to come over and watch Sky and we can go get your sisters.

  “Beck, you truly are an angel. I can’t thank you enough.”

  She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. I fought the urge to kiss her back.

  Ten minutes later Declan showed up. I quickly debriefed him about Sky, who was still asleep.

  “We will be back in an hour. Call if you need anything.”

  The second we left base, I was struck at once by the poverty around me. I had noticed it last year, but it had seemed less heartbreaking. But now, with Paloma by my side, the barren landscape was painfully in focus. There were so many empty businesses with boarded up windows and chained off buildings littered with graffiti. An elderly man pushed a cart of food down the road and a young woman clutching a baby begged on a corner. It was around seven at night and the wind had kicked up the despair with the dust.

  “Turn here. It’s that one there.”

  I turned to an apartment building which looked more like a prison than a home. Was this where her uncle lived? Where her sisters were staying? And she walked here every night? Hell, I didn’t even want to park my SUV out here. I’d even considered packing my gun.

  She opened the door. “I’ll
go and grab them.”

  “I’m going with you.”

  She shook her head. “No, that’s fine. I won’t be long.”

  “Paloma, he hit you over the head with a liquor bottle. I’m going in.”

  We walked up the stairs and Paloma pushed the door open.

  Her sisters were cuddled up on the lumpy sofa, but her uncle wasn’t in the room.

  “Beck, meet my sisters, Mónica is the older one and Ana María is the younger one. Girls, this is Beck. Gather your things. You are going to stay with us.”

  Ana María’s eyes opened wide and Mónica’s mouth gaped open.

  “En serio?”

  “Yes, I’m serious. Come on, let’s go.”

  I heard a door open and some middle-aged man walked over to me, his face red and his eyes blood shot. “Who are you and what are you doing in my house?”

  I didn’t want to fight with him, though he deserved to be punched in the face. But I didn’t want the girls to see any more violence or this loser to press assault charges on me. I just wanted to get out of this house as soon as possible. “I’m Paloma's boss.

  Her sisters stared at me. Ana María’s hair was braided, and she had big brown eyes and a sad smile. Mónica was wearing a tight shirt and shorts.

  I knelt down to Ana María. “Do you girls want to go to McDonalds?”

  “Yes!” Ana María jumped up and down.

  Her uncle walked up to me and the stench of the liquor on his breath made me recoil. “The girls are my family. They stay here.”

  “Yeah, well I’m going to take them with me. Looks like you got your hands full here. Is that weed I smell?”

  “Yeah. What’s it to you? It’s California. It’s legal.”

  “I’m aware. But you shouldn’t be smoking around young kids. Come on girls, let’s go.”

  Paloma gathered the girls’ clothes. I grabbed their bags and we went to my SUV. Her shoulders slumped, and she looked almost embarrassed.

  Mónica stood next to me. “I can’t believe you are going to let us stay with you. Is it true there is a pool on base?”

  A pained expression crossed Paloma’s face. She turned to me. “I’m sorry. They are just excited. They don’t know how to swim.”