A Change of Heart (Perfect Indiana#3)

by Barbara Longley

  “To some degree, yes. I should’ve been able to trust my commanding officer, and…and I couldn’t. He abused his position of power. I should’ve been able to count on the institution I’d pledged my loyalty and service to, and the army let me down. Augh.” She rubbed her temples. “The situations aren’t at all the same. Except for the trust issues, they’re nothing alike.”

  Linda nodded. “I understand what you mean about trust when it comes to dogs. Do you see what happened to the TEDD as a betrayal of the bond he had with the handler?”

  “Yes, but not so much by the handler as the army. His handler was really torn up about the whole thing. If he could’ve prevented what happened, he would’ve. We could all see that. But the army views working dogs as equipment, nothing more. Equipment is expendable. That makes me angry.”

  She snorted. “Just about everything makes me angry. I was raped by my commanding officer. Rather than prosecute the man who assaulted me, the army slapped me with a personality disorder diagnosis.” Her chest tightened. “The US Army discounted and discarded me like yesterday’s trash, after eight years of exemplary service on my part.”

  She swiped at the tears escaping down her cheeks. “That’s about the same number of years they keep military working dogs, isn’t it? I guess they saw me as just another piece of equipment like that bomb-sniffing Labrador. These days, I’m just plumb full of rage when you get right down to it.”

  “Understandable. Rage is a normal reaction to what you’ve been through. How are you dealing with all that anger?”

  “At first I used it to motivate me to get out of bed.” She risked a glance at her therapist to gauge her reaction, finding nothing but calm acceptance. “It’s what kept me going through the whole legal process to put Staff Sergeant Barnett behind bars. I have no idea how to deal with all the rage now. It’s eating me up from the inside out. I can tell you that much. Honestly”—she heaved a shaky breath—“I’d like to chuck it.”

  “Then that’s what we’ll work on first.” Linda set the legal pad and pen aside. “For the rest of our session, we’re going to practice some anger management and visualization techniques. Is that all right with you, or would you rather continue talking?”

  “Techniques sound good. It’s hard for me to talk about this stuff. It’ll take awhile before I’m comfortable about opening up my can of worms.”

  “Of course. This is a process, and I want you to feel comfortable. Lean back and close your eyes. Take a deep breath, and let it out slowly, relaxing each part of your body as you do, beginning with the top of your head and working your way down.”

  For the rest of the hour, Cory practiced everything the doctor taught her. When they were finished, Linda handed her a couple of brochures.

  “The techniques we practiced today are all in here. Refer to them if you forget what to do. Pretty soon it’ll become automatic.” She wrote something down on a form and handed it to her. “We had great start today, Cory. By Monday I’ll have a group for you. Do your homework and start journaling like we talked about.” She rose from her chair. “Stop by the assistant’s desk on the way out, and she’ll set up your next six appointments.”

  “I will. Thank you.” On the way to make her appointments, she stared at the brochures in her hand. She’d done it, taken the first step, and she felt as if she’d just finished her first marathon, all twenty-six grueling miles. She was exhausted, but in a good way.

  Appointment card in hand, she left the building and headed for the parking ramp. Pulling out her cell phone, she called her mom, knowing she’d be waiting to hear.

  “Hey, honey,” Claire answered on the second ring. “How did your first appointment go?”

  “Really well. I’m so glad I’ve started therapy. I’m hopeful.”

  “That’s good. When are you coming around for supper again? It’s been too long since I’ve seen you.”

  “Pick a night next week. I’m open.”

  “All right. I’ll take a look at my work schedule and get back to you. Call Brenda. She’ll want to hear.”

  Cory’s insides warmed with gratitude for all the support she had in her life. “I will in a while. If I know Bren, she’s not up yet. I’ll talk to you later, Mom. I love you.”

  “Love you too, baby. Go on back to work now, and have a good time at that housewarmin’ party tomorrow.”

  “I will. Bye.” She ended the call just as she reached her truck. The truck Ted had provided for her. The familiar lonely ache welled in her chest. He was the one person in the world she truly wanted to share everything with, and he’d left her without a word. She had to blink the tears back before she could see well enough to put the key in the door lock.

  She could call him. No. He’d made no attempt to contact her, and she had to respect his decision. Best that she focus on getting better. At some point, she’d have to talk to him. She’d have to make sure they were OK with continuing to work together. Sadness weighed her down as she pulled out of the ramp and turned onto the road to Perfect. How ironic, to have finally chased away the man she loved just before setting foot on the path to wellness.

  “My timing sucks.”

  Cory took the large covered bowl out of the fridge and headed for the door. She wasn’t really looking forward to this get-together, but she did want to see Paige’s house. Besides, Brenda would be there with Kyle. She could hang out with them or Wesley. She locked her apartment and headed for the back of the big house. Lucinda slid the patio door open before Cory could knock.

  “Hey, Luce. What do you and your brothers have planned for tonight?”

  “My friend Celeste is coming over to spend the night with me. Uncle Harlen is going to build us a campfire so we can toast marshmallows and make s’mores. Then we’re going to catch fireflies.” The little girl held a plastic horse in one hand. She backed up so Cory could enter the kitchen. “Toby’s going to play with us, but Micah is too little. My aunt Jenny and uncle Harlen are babysitting.”

  “Wow. You have a fun evening planned. Gee, I should stay here with you guys.” The idea certainly appealed to her. Being at the Malloys’ housewarming without Ted by her side really didn’t sound like much fun at all. Knowing he wouldn’t be there because she’d hurt him made things even worse.

  “You can if you want.” Lucinda’s eyes widened. “You’d like Celeste.”

  Cory grinned at the adorable little girl. “It might hurt your auntie Paige’s feelings if I don’t show up for her party. Otherwise I would.”

  “Hey, Cory. How’d your first session at the VA go?” Jenny walked into the kitchen with Micah perched on her hip.

  “It went really well, thanks.” Smiling a greeting, she set her container on the counter. “I like my doctor. She’s really nice. Can I hold this little guy?” She reached for Micah, and he leaned toward her with his little arms outstretched, completely melting her heart.

  “Sure, but beware. He’s heavier than he looks.” Jenny transferred the toddler into her arms.

  Cory ran her hand over his downy head and snuggled him close. He curled into her, resting his head on her shoulder with a contented sigh. Would there ever come a day when she’d have a family of her own? Ted’s image flashed through her mind, and her heart gave a painful squeeze. She concentrated on Micah’s warm weight in her arms, and that gave her a little slice of heaven. “You look sleepy, little guy.” She rubbed his back and took in his baby-powder smell.

  “He just got up from a nap.” Jenny grinned. “Takes him awhile to come around. Noah and Ceejay should be down in a minute.”

  “Where’s Toby?”

  “He’s with Harlen out front. Toby kind of gets lost in the shuffle around here sometimes. Harlen likes to give him as much one-on-one time as he can.”

  “That’s sweet.”

  The laugh lines at the corners of Jenny’s eyes crinkled. “That’s my Harlen.”

  Footsteps on the back stairs drew her attention, and Cory handed Micah back to his great-aunt. Ceejay and Noah wal
ked into the kitchen. “Ready to go?” she asked.

  “I just need to get my dessert.” Ceejay walked to the counter next to the refrigerator and picked up a covered cake pan. “I made turtle brownies. What are you bringing?”

  Cory lifted her bowl. “Pasta salad.”

  “All this talk about food is making me hungry.” Noah took his car keys from the hook on the wall. “Let’s go. We’re taking my truck.”

  Once they were all settled in the pickup, Ceejay raised her eyebrows slightly and shot Noah a questioning look. He lowered his brow and shook his head, and Ceejay responded by letting loose a frustrated huff. The entire exchange fascinated Cory. “What was that all about?”

  Ceejay twisted around in her seat to grin back at her. “We were continuing an argument from earlier today.”

  She laughed. “That’s how you two argue?”

  “It’s what happens after a couple has been together for a while.” Noah started the truck down the driveway. “Silent communication.” He reached over and squeezed his wife’s hand. “We also finish each other’s sentences. It’s great.”

  “It is.” Ceejay twined her fingers with her husband’s.

  What could she say? Clearly they were a happy couple. She’d be surrounded by happy couples at the housewarming. Thank God Wesley would be there, or she might just have to ask the Langfords to turn around and take her back home.

  What was Ted doing right now? She’d found out through Paige that he’d gone to the Appalachians in Pennsylvania. Did he miss her like she missed him? Blowing out a breath, she stared out the window at buildings on the main street through Perfect.

  A couple of miles past Perfect, they turned onto a blacktop road with soybeans growing on either side. After another half mile, they turned again, this time onto a gravel driveway. A gray house with darker gray shutters and white trim came into view. Obviously brand-new, the house resembled a period design from the past, with two stories boasting large dormer windows.

  “Oh, it’s so nice to see it finished with a yard and everything,” Ceejay exclaimed.

  “It’s really nice,” Cory murmured in agreement.

  Noah pulled his truck next to Wesley’s SUV and cut the engine. “They have several acres and plan to build a barn and a corral in a few years. Ryan wants to keep a few horses. Both he and Paige like to ride.” He opened his door. “The party is around back.”

  “I can’t wait to see the baby’s room.” Cory finally felt a little bit of excitement about being here. Paige had been nothing but nice to her, and she really was happy for her new friend.

  “Me too,” Ceejay said, climbing awkwardly out of the truck before Noah could get to her side. “I don’t bend in the middle anymore.” She laughed and handed the pan of brownies to him. “I keep forgetting.”

  Noah took the pan and slipped his arm around Ceejay’s shoulders. “You look adorable trying to, though.” He kissed her forehead. “Let’s go. I’m supposed to help Ryan grill the burgers and brats.”

  The three of them took the flagstone path around to the back of the house. Folding chairs had been set around a bunch of long tables around the backyard. Cory recognized all but a few of the faces already there. The L&L crew were scattered into groups with their wives or girlfriends by their sides. A couple of the guys were setting up a net for either volleyball or badminton.

  The Malloys had a deck off the back of their house, and two more tables had been lined up against the rails, with the dishes everyone had brought to share spread out between the two. “Let me take your brownies. I’ll go put our stuff with the rest of the food.”

  “Thanks.” Ceejay took her pan back from Noah and held it so Cory could stack her bowl on top before she took them both.

  “There’s Ryan. Looks like he’s glad to see us.” Ceejay waved. “You’d better head over to the grill, honey. I’m going to go find Paige.” She turned to Cory. “Once I find her, let’s get her to take us on the grand tour.”

  “Good idea. I’m going to go say hi to Wesley. Call me when you’re ready.”

  “I will.”

  Cory walked up the three steps to the deck and moved a few things around on one of the tables so she could put their offerings down. Heading back to where Wesley sat talking to Denny Offermeyer, she glanced out over the backyard. The Ohio River was quite a distance away from the house, and the view couldn’t be beat. Gently rolling fields created a collage of varying shades of green and tan in every direction, dotted with the occasional house and barns. “Hi, guys. Mind if I sit with you for a while?” She pulled out a chair next to Wesley.

  “Please do.” Denny grinned at her. “I don’t think you’ve met my wife yet. Gail’s off looking at the Malloys’ new nursery. When she gets back, I want to introduce you two.”

  “I’d love to meet her.”

  Wesley gave her a quick hug. “How are you doing, Squirrel?”

  “Better. I got a whole six hours of uninterrupted sleep last night.”

  “Did the docs give you that blood pressure medicine?”

  Her eyes widened. “Yes, isn’t that weird?”

  “Hey, don’t knock it. Whatever it takes to keep the nightmares away.”

  “Were you on them too?”

  “For a while.” He nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Cory,” Ceejay called from the deck where she stood next to Paige. “Tour time.”

  “Oh, I gotta go see the house. Save my place,” she told Wesley. “I’ll look for you later, Denny. I do want to meet your wife.”

  “We’ll be right here.” Wesley lifted his beer.

  “You two make quite the picture,” Cory remarked as she climbed the stairs to the deck. “Your bellies are close to the same size.”

  “I know.” Paige laughed and placed her arm around Ceejay. “I’d like to say we planned it so the cousins would be around the same age, but we didn’t.” She opened the sliding door and they entered an ultramodern kitchen decorated with old-country decor. Warm and charming. “Welcome to my home.” Pride and happiness lit her up. “Let me show you around.”

  “I love your kitchen. It’s like a forties room, but with every conceivable modern convenience.” Cory surveyed the cream-colored cabinets, the granite countertops and wide, hand-hewn hickory floor.

  “Thank you. I’m really happy with it.” Paige looked around her with obvious satisfaction. “Ryan and I like to scope out the local flea markets and antique stores. We’re searching for a few more accents to put up here and there.” A variety of antique kitchen tools had been mounted on the wall around vintage signs for fresh eggs, vegetables and fruit.

  “Through here we have a formal dining room, which is empty for the time being. We eat in the kitchen. Eventually, Ryan is going to design and build our dining room furniture, but we’re in no hurry.”

  Paige took them through the rest of the first floor, which included a living room, bathroom and a den where Ryan had set up a design studio, complete with a drawing table. The smell of fresh paint permeated the house, and it had the same style of décor, brand-new with old-country charm, throughout. “Let’s go see the nursery,” Paige gushed. “It’s my favorite place in the entire house.”

  She led them upstairs. “We have a fireplace in the basement, and another bathroom roughed in. In the next few years, we plan to put a rec room and a family room down there, which is why we put in the full-daylight windows. All we have in the basement now are the washer and dryer.”

  They came to an open square area with doors on all four sides and a skylight and ceiling fan above. “This open space is what I loved so much about the original homestead. It’s too bad the original house was too far gone to save.” Paige turned around in the middle. “We’ll set this up for the kids as a play area, with a gate across the stairway, of course. We had outlets put into the floor for TV, or whatever. When they get older, they can plug in their computers and do their homework in this space.” She opened the first door to their left. “Here’s baby boy Malloy’s room.”
/>   Cory and Ceejay walked into the south-facing room. Light and airy, with a mural on one wall, and filled with L&L baby furniture, the room brimmed with love in every detail. Cory’s jaw dropped when she looked at the mural. “This is amazing.” The scene depicted ponies and little cowboys wearing chaps, boots with spurs, and too-big cowboy hats over their cherubic rosy-cheeked faces. Adorable. A pastoral scene complete with a big red barn and a corral provided the backdrop for the young wranglers. The baby’s primary-colored bedding had lassos, cowboy boots and hats covering the flannel fabric. “Who painted the mural?”

  “Ryan,” Paige said, her voice filled with pride. “He designed and built the furniture too. This is one lucky little boy.”

  “I’ll say.” Cory ran her hand over the top of the rocking chair in the corner. Paige and Ceejay exchanged a look, and Paige closed the nursery door softly. The shared communication reminded her of the silent argument she’d witnessed between Noah and Ceejay earlier. Her pulse raced. “What’s up?”

  “We were hoping we could talk.” Paige sat on the toy chest in the corner opposite the rocking chair. “What happened between you and Ted the night of the rodeo?”

  How was this their business? Ceejay’s warning not to hurt Ted came back to her in a painful rush, and she headed for the door. She wasn’t about to sit still for this kind of ambush.

  “We care about both of you,” Ceejay said softly. “Don’t leave. We want to help.”

  “It’s true, Cory. We’re your friends,” Paige added, gesturing for her to sit down.

  She looked from one to the other, finding nothing but sincerity. OK. She’d hear them out. Tense and shaky, she returned to the rocker and took a seat.

  Ceejay folded her hands on top of her belly. “Ted’s mom told my aunt, and my aunt told me and—”

  “Told you what?” Cory’s brow shot up. She’d been the hot topic in Perfect? That didn’t sit well.

  “And Ceejay shared the news with me. Ted’s home,” Paige blurted. “Did you know?”

  “No.” Her mind reeled, and the emotional pain slammed her back in the rocker with g-force impact. He’d left without a word, and now he was back without a word. They truly were over before they’d even begun.