The Eternal Engagement

by Mary B. Morrison

“I just fucking told you, bitch! One, two, one, two, two!” He slammed the phone on the hook.

  Wiping his dick with a white towel, he noticed red lipstick smeared on his shaft. “Fuck, Lincoln. Why did you bring that ’ho to your room last night?”

  Last night he watched television. Went for a walk to the liquor/grocery store across the street, bought a six-pack of beer and two bottles of tequila. And . . .

  “Damnit, Lincoln, you did let that trick convince you to let her suck your dick.”

  That probably explained his pills being gone. “Oh, shit!”

  He ran into the room, picked up his pants, shoved his hand in one pocket. Empty. Checked the other. Nothing. “Fuck!”

  Knock, knock, knock.

  I’m kicking that bitch’s ass. He put on his pants. His underwear and T-shirt were still on the chair. He hurried to the door, jerked it open.

  Heaving, he froze. His heart softened. All that angered him dissipated as he stared into her eyes.

  “Can I come in?”

  He shook his head in disbelief, opened the door wide. Scratching his temple, he said, “I thought you were kidding.” He took her suitcase. “Yes, come in.”

  He wanted to say, “You won’t believe what just happened to the money you sent me,” but that wasn’t appropriate.

  “Mind if I use your bathroom?” she asked, pushing open the door.

  He dropped the suitcase, jumped in front of her. “I forgot to flush the toilet.” That was the truth, but he really needed to hide that note and that nasty thong.

  Lincoln closed the door. Looked around for a safe hiding place. The black bag that the blow dryer was in seemed safest at the moment. After stuffing the prostitute’s belongings inside, he tied the drawstring in a military knot, flushed the toilet, then opened the door.

  “Why did you call me twice?” he asked, not knowing what else to say to her.

  She was still the most gorgeous woman he’d seen. Slightly thicker in the breasts and hips, but he liked it.

  “I only called you once,” she said, entering the bathroom.

  He called the front desk. “Hold all my calls until I notify you otherwise.”

  That trick wasn’t slick. But he didn’t want her creeping up on him. Nah, she wouldn’t come back after stealing his money. Doubted she was that stupid, but he’d find her. And when he did, she’d swear he was her pimp. She had an ass whupping coming from him if she didn’t have his cash.

  It was a good thing he’d paid for his room in advance. But what about the incidentals he’d incurred. How would he pay for those? There wasn’t enough money to cover his extra charges. He could leave without checking out. Or persuade Katherine to take care of his bill.

  “Certainly, Mr. Lincoln,” the operator replied.

  Who the fuck called the second time?

  Lincoln couldn’t believe she was standing in front of him. He wanted to hug her, kiss her. He picked her up, twirled her around. “I must be dreaming,” he said, feeling the happiest since the last time he’d seen her. “You hungry? You want to go downstairs to the restaurant and eat? You tired? You want to rest? You want to take a shower? Anything you want to do, anything. Let’s do it.”

  Katherine sat in the green oversized chair facing the bed. She placed her purse on the magazines scattered on the small round table next to the chair. He wondered how much cash she had on her. Maybe if he made up a story about what happened to the money she’d given him, she’d give him some more.

  “Lincoln, why? I need to understand why you never contacted us?” Tears trickled down her cheeks. Katherine wiped her eyes.

  He noticed she wasn’t wearing the ring he’d given her. Assuming his comfort position in opposition, he sat on the edge of the bed facing her, clamped his hands together, spread his feet six inches apart, then stared at the floor.

  “Please don’t cry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  “Doesn’t matter what you meant, it’s what you did. To me. To our son. Why, Lincoln? I really need to know. And look at me. I have to see your eyes,” she said.

  He watched her dry her tears again. He cried like he’d done when his grandmother told him she loved him. Any attempt to gain sympathy was worth the effort.

  “Do you love me, Katherine?”

  “William Lincoln, please don’t make this about you. Please. If you don’t want to tell me, say so, and I’ll get a separate room, go back to Selma in the morning, and never contact you again. I’m here to get answers, not answer your questions.” She didn’t blink. Her eyes were wet, but there were no more tears.

  Lincoln wiped his face. “I . . . I . . . I . . . I love you, Katherine. I never meant to . . . I don’t know what happened to me.”

  More like “I’ll never tell you what happened to me,” but based on her tight lips, he doubted she’d care about that either. Vigorously, he shook his head trying to erase the horrible thoughts creeping into his mind. He prayed he didn’t have a flashback that triggered a panic attack. She’d just gotten to his room. Didn’t want to scare her away.

  “If you’re done talking, I’m leaving.”

  “Fine, you want the whole truth?”

  She nodded. Her lips got tighter. Katherine remained silent.

  “When you told me you might be pregnant, I thought you were setting me up. Trying to trap me with a child to make sure you got a piece of whatever you thought I was going to get paid.” He stared at the empty space between his feet.

  “I’m listening. And I’d appreciate it if you look at me and stop staring at the floor.”

  He stood. Paced in front of her. The small space between the chair and the bed forced his leg to slide along the side of the mattress. “My first year wasn’t so bad. I traveled to Okinawa for six months. Didn’t contact anyone. Not even my grandparents. I was trying to find out who I was. What I wanted. What my purpose in life was. I told you I made the decision to join because of my grandfather, but day one in the service I resented him because it was more his decision than mine. I should’ve gone to college.”

  “How could I trap you with a baby when there was no guarantee you were going to go pro, Lincoln? Players get injured all the time. And I loved you with every part of my fifteen-, sixteen-, and seventeen-year-old body.” Katherine opened her purse. “I’ve worn this ring almost every day except for the time I was in the hospital giving birth to our son and now. I held on to the hope that one day you’d come back to me. But you didn’t. I’ve come to you. So if this ring doesn’t mean anything to you, I can have closure, and,” she said, placing the ring in his hand, “and you can have this back.”

  His Adam’s apple lodged in his throat. He clenched the ring in his palm. Wow, she’d worn his gold ring for over ten years. Had she sexed another man while wearing his ring? He shook his head again. Didn’t want those thoughts creeping in either.

  “Katherine, I don’t have any excuses for not contacting you. I love you. I still love you. Seemed like the longer I took to call, the easier it became not to call anyone. And I—”

  “Did you call Mona Lisa?”

  He shook his head. Technically he hadn’t called her. He’d texted her.

  “You’re sure?”

  Did she know something he didn’t about Mona? Best to stick with his first response, since that was the truth. “No, I haven’t called her. Haven’t seen her since graduation day.”

  “Um, huh. Continue,” she said, crossing her legs.

  “Nine eleven changed my life for the worse. Honestly, I didn’t think I was going to survive Afghanistan or Iraq. Being an expert shooter saved my life many times, but I couldn’t save—” He stopped speaking. Choked up again thinking about Randy. “The military taught me my main purpose was to kill. But I couldn’t save my best friend. Katherine, I’d love to tell you I’m the same man you last saw, but I’m not.”

  “What do you—”

  The chopping sound hovered over the hotel. He grabbed her. Threw her to the floor. Covered her body with his. “Stay down! Don
’t move.” He crawled to the nightstand, got his gun, peeped out the window.

  Katherine sprang to her feet. He knocked her back down, kneeled beside her. “Stay down! It’s not safe.”

  Lincoln stayed by her side, protecting her like he’d done other soldiers. “I should’ve never walked away from Randy,” he cried, then wiped her face.

  Katherine moved his hand. “Stop it.” She peeped out the window. “It’s a helicopter. Lincoln, my God, what happened to you over there?”

  CHAPTER 48

  Katherine

  November 2010

  Would she regret having made the trip to see him?

  She already had one dependent. Didn’t need another. Katherine had a choice. She could get out of his hotel bed, get dressed, and leave a day early. Or she could stay by his side until tomorrow and pray he gave direct answers to her questions.

  They lay pillow-to-pillow facing one another. His arm hugged her hip. Her hand caressed his shoulder. A craving to feel him on top of her, inside of her, made her twitch.

  “That was nice. Good morning, beautiful,” he said. “You have no idea how many times I’ve dreamt of this moment. I want to make love to you too, Katherine.”

  If he had protection, perhaps they’d make love before her departure. The urge to orgasm lingered between her thighs, tingled on the tip of her nipples. She kissed him. Twitched. Kissed him again. Yes, she definitely was still in love with Lincoln, but she had to address the more important matters with a clear mind. “We have a lot to discuss.”

  “Yeah, I know.” The disappointment in his voice lingered.

  The stiffness in his dick pressing against her thigh lessened. Sex was not the solution to their plethora of problems.

  Yesterday, once the helicopters and planes stopped flying over the hotel causing him to push her to the floor several times, draw his gun, then peep out the window, she lay in bed beside him exhausted. Their time together had progressed with Lincoln describing one gruesome war story after another. The worst, he’d said, “I can’t tell you.” She couldn’t imagine it being worse than what he’d graphically described—decapitation, amputation, rape, murder. She wondered if he’d done any or all of those things and more. He’d described death so vividly, the stench of decomposing flesh was stuck in her nostrils.

  “Have you smelled a dead rat?” he asked.

  She had and it was horrible.

  “Close your eyes and recall the odor. Now imagine it’s not one rat but a thousand. They’ve been dead for a month. Someone takes a handful of the rotted flesh, stuffs all of it into your nostrils,” he said.

  When he had said that last night, she almost threw up.

  He concluded his description with, “Now inhale deeply and you’re almost there. Imagine this malodorous stench is trapped inside of you for years.”

  At that point she’d gotten up, ran to the bathroom, vomited until her insides ached. She’d rinsed her mouth and nose, trying to erase the picture he’d painted in her mind.

  There had to be a way she could help him. A loan from Steven, or she could do another favor for him, earn a few more thousands of dollars that she wouldn’t have to pay back. She was so indebted to her creditors, earning the money would be best. The sun had set and was now rising, shining through the curtains, beaming on Lincoln’s chest. She envisioned kissing his nipples, then trailing her tongue down his abs to his navel and below his pubic hairs.

  She’d dozed off several times, but each time she’d awoken, Lincoln’s eyes were wide open. Sympathy sex wasn’t what she wanted to give him. She felt bad for him. His parents didn’t care about him? Why? He thought his grandparents didn’t care either. Why had he felt that way? Without his giving a definitive response, she was closer to understanding why he hadn’t contacted her.

  “Maybe you’re afraid to love anyone,” she said, gazing into his eyes. His pupils seemed hollow, like a dark tunnel she could journey down and never reach the end.

  “More like afraid to be abandoned by someone I thought loved me. Especially my mom and dad. Katherine, if you’ll have me back, please don’t ever leave me. I survived the war. Kind of,” he said, then chuckled. “But my heart can’t survive the ticking of a time bomb not knowing when or if it’ll explode.”

  He started weeping like an infant, buried his face in the pillow. “I’m sorry. I hate for you to see me like this.” He swallowed his pain and sorrow.

  A man, strong, muscular, handsome, and possibly more vulnerable than her, lay beside her naked in countless ways. She was closer than ever to becoming Mrs. Lincoln. Her next dream could come true by Jeremiah’s tenth birthday. But was she dreaming? Would a marriage to Lincoln survive his mental disorder? Would he be a good father or freak Jeremiah out?

  “Don’t you ever sleep?” she asked, touching his face. “You were up all night and kept me up too.”

  “Only when I’m medicated. Otherwise, I’m afraid to sleep. My mind never sleeps. Soon as I close my eyes, the war is like a movie constantly replaying in my head. I don’t want you to see that side of me. The way I wake up sweating, shouting, paranoid. It’s like constantly living in the war zone. My body is here. But my mind is still in Iraq. No one can catch or save me.”

  She had one more day to be with him before heading back to Selma. “I don’t think anything can freak me out more than what happened yesterday.”

  “Don’t be so sure. You haven’t witnessed my worst panic attack. I’m not sure I have either. Having PTSD scares me. I’m afraid of myself. That’s why, even though I really want to be with you, I have to wait until I can afford better treatment.”

  “Better treatment? What are you talking about?”

  “The cost for a private doctor to properly diagnose and treat me could cost six figures. The VA has a long list of patients like me. No real help. Just meds and more meds to numb the pain. They’re treating the symptoms, but until they address the cause, I’m a walking time bomb. I’m so afraid that one day I may not be able to pull back. One day, I may draw my gun, think I’m in Afghanistan, and pull the trigger. I fear who might be on the receiving end of the bullet.”

  That comment helped Katherine decide what to do next. “Lincoln, come back home with me. I know enough people to get you professional help. My therapist can help you.”

  He frowned. “I can’t afford to take care of you and Jeremiah, let alone pay for a shrink. I refuse to let you help me. Soldiers are strong. We make a way out of no way.”

  “But you don’t have to be this strong. You can lean on me.”

  “And what? Become another mouth to feed. I can’t do that. I won’t do that. When I’m better, I’ll let you know. Besides, I’ll be home for Christmas. I promised my grandmother. Can I see my son then?” he asked, looking sad.

  “I almost forgot,” Katherine said, easing out of bed. She opened her suitcase, retrieved her DVD player and photo album. “I brought videos and pictures of Jeremiah to show you.”

  Lincoln sat up. “Wow! Really? Okay, let me throw on something, run across the street, grab us something to eat and drink, and we can spend the rest of the day with you showing and telling me all about my son.”

  “Can’t we just order room service?”

  “I’m out of my meds. Gotta self-medicate to minimize the anxiety. I need a little more than food, if you know what I mean. Oh, can you spare a few dollars?”

  A puff of air shot from her nostrils. Her eyebrows grew closer. “What happened to all the money I sent you?”

  “I used it for this room and a deposit on my apartment. I’ll pay you back. I promise.”

  “Please, don’t make me any more promises.” She was glad she had helped him, so a few more dollars didn’t matter. She opened her purse, gave him fifty dollars.

  “Since you’re already naked, take a shower. Get her ready for me. When I get back, we’re celebrating. And I’m putting my ring back on your finger.” Opening the door, he looked back at her and said, “We are going to finally get married.”


  Katherine had enough problems. She wasn’t sexing or marrying him. “Hurry back. I’ll set up the DVD player.”

  CHAPTER 49

  Mona

  November 2010

  Mona exited the elevator at the twelfth floor. “One, two, one, two, two,” she mumbled, checking the room numbers. Her heart thumped with anticipation. What did he look like? Had he gained weight? Was he still handsome? Taking a deep breath, she could hardly contain herself.

  When she got to the corresponding room, she inhaled again, covered the peephole. She had her new 4G camera phone positioned to take his picture. Had to capture the surprised look on Lincoln’s face when he saw hers. Sort of surprised look, because he knew she was coming but had no idea she’d arrived.

  Tap. Tap. Tap.

  Smiling wide, soon as the door opened she released her finger from the camera image. “Surprise!” Mona stepped back.

  “What did you for . . . get?” Katherine asked, opening the door.

  “Aw, hell, no!” Mona said, staring.

  For a few seconds, Katherine froze in the doorway. Her forearm covered both her breasts; her hand cupped her pubic hairs as she crisscrossed her knees.

  The door started slowly moving closer to Mona, closer to shutting in her face.

  The moment was worth capturing twice. Mona stuck her foot in the doorway, took another picture of Katherine from behind. Her ass was wider than Mona had remembered when they were in high school but tight and firm as it had appeared years ago underneath Katherine’s form-fitting dresses.

  Mona hadn’t gained much weight, but seeing how perfect Katherine’s body was, Mona wished she would’ve exercised instead of following Steven on his jobs. If she was going to stay in Seattle with Lincoln, Mona had to get in better shape and find a job. Maybe she could do forensic work for the police department or she could contract as a bounty hunter.

  “What in the hell are you doing here?” Mona asked. “Where’s Lincoln?” Not awaiting an invitation, she pushed open the door, entered the room, and slammed the door. She started to secure the latch but changed her mind. Didn’t want to trap herself in a small room with Katherine.