by Gerri Hill
“Did you ever talk about it?”
“It? No, we were practically forced into dating. And I guess on some level it made sense to me. Until, well, until I realized I didn’t really like kissing him.”
“When did you know?”
“Know what? That I was gay?”
“Yeah. I mean what, one day you just realized it?”
Jacqueline smiled. “Something like that.”
“There’s something you’re not telling me.” Kay leaned closer. “Who was she? One of the girls on the basketball team?”
“No, of course not! Jesus, Kay.”
“Then who? Why won’t you tell me?”
“Some things are meant to be private.”
“Oh, please. We didn’t have one single private thing between us.”
“Yeah, well, we had this.”
Kay laughed. “I got it. Becky Thompson?”
“Good God, no. Becky Thompson?”
“She went off to college in Austin and seldom came home. And as far as I know, she’s never married. She’s comes home for Christmas and that’s it.”
“You’re reaching here.” But Jacqueline laughed. “She’s never married, huh? She’s not a coach somewhere, is she?”
“As a matter of fact, she is.”
“Well, I’ll be damned. Becky Thompson.” Truth be known, Jacqueline did suspect that Becky was hiding her own secret back then. She was just too scared to approach her.
They were silent for a moment, both shaking the ice in their now empty glasses. Jacqueline finally stood, taking the glass from Kay’s hand.
“Another?”
“Yeah. That was good. But you must be starving. I know I am.”
“I doubt there are any good restaurants open,” Jacqueline teased. “What’d you have in mind?”
“Pizza.”
“Pizza? In this town?”
“Of course. We have a pizza place now. And they deliver.”
Jacqueline shook her finger at Kay. “I think you promised you’d cook.”
“And I warned you, it wasn’t my strong suit.”
“Okay. Pizza. But tomorrow night, we cook.”
“We? Don’t tell me you’ve learned to cook?”
“I can cook quite well, thank you.”
“This I can’t wait for.”
Kay leaned back, relaxing as Jackie went back inside for more tea. God, it was so good to have her back, she thought. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed her. Rose was right. She didn’t really have friends. A few from high school that still lived in town. She was friendly enough with them, she supposed. She knew practically everyone in town, in fact. But close friends? No. She had her family, that was it. If she needed something, they would be there, no questions asked. But, after her disastrous marriage, she had retreated even farther, being content with her business and her house and Rose’s kids. In reality, she hadn’t given a thought to dating. As she’d told Rose, there wasn’t anyone in town she was even remotely interested in. Not that some hadn’t called. Secretly, she feared she would end up like Ms. Cutter, sixty and still alone. But was it so bad? It beat the hell out of living with Billy Ray Renfro. She would enjoy her time with Jackie, even if it was only for a week. And maybe now, they could keep in touch. Who knows, maybe she would venture to California for a visit, if Jackie offered.
“You look relaxed.”
“Mmm. It’s a nice evening, isn’t it? I don’t sit out here much.”
“No? I’d be out here all the time. I have a nice sized deck that looks out over Monterey Bay,” Jacqueline said as she handed Kay her tea. “On a clear day, I can see across the bay to the Santa Cruz Mountains. But even on foggy days, which are often, I still enjoy sitting out there.”
“I remember how much you always liked being outside. Even at night, Mama would have to run us in.”
“Yeah, I do miss this. Ingrid’s got this great house, up near Santa Rosa. Whenever I’m there, I make her cook outside so we can enjoy the gardens. I’ve thought about buying something like that, but I just haven’t gotten around to it.”
“When did you move from Los Angeles?”
“When Ingrid moved to San Francisco. I didn’t realize how much time I spent with them. Other than Christopher—and he still lives in LA—they were my social connection. But I didn’t want to move to the city, which is where they moved to first. So, Monterey is south of San Francisco, north of LA. Close enough to both. Although, when Ingrid moved to Santa Rosa, that’s quite a trek for me now. But I usually spend at least one weekend a month with them.”
“She’s your agent still?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you involved?”
“Ingrid? God, no. I mean, she’s a really good friend and even if she was single, no. But she’s got a lover. They’ve been together as long as I’ve known her.”
Kay sighed. “It’s a different world, isn’t it? I mean, here I am, still so naïve about things.”
“It’s a different world from Pine Springs, yes. I was thinking, as I was driving out here, that most of the towns were still stuck in the last century. But is that such a bad thing?”
“Isn’t it? It’s like we haven’t grown. We still have the same prejudices that our parents had, that their parents had. It just goes on and on. Change is very slow to come.”
“Well, on some levels, I guess it’s not necessarily a good thing. But think of Rose’s kids. They’ll get to grow up in a small town, enjoying pleasures that most city kids have never even heard of.”
“But they’ll miss out on so much more.”
“But they won’t really know they’re missing out on it, you know. I mean, we didn’t know what was out there. We didn’t care. But TV and the Internet, that’s changed everything. Kids know a lot more now.”
“Yeah. They know there’s more out there than just Pine Springs. Each year, more and more kids leave, go off to college and don’t come back.”
“And you wish you were one of them?”
“Sometimes.”
Jacqueline studied her. “Why didn’t you go to college? It was all we talked about that last year.”
“Truthfully? Because you weren’t here. I was afraid to go alone.”
“Ah, Kay.”
“I know. It’s silly.”
“If I had to do it over again, I’d have called you from Dallas.”
“Part of me wishes you had. And part of me is glad you didn’t.”
“Why is that?”
“You wouldn’t be where you are today if you’d called. Everything happens for a reason, Jackie. Here you are, a successful writer. You wouldn’t be if you’d stayed. We both know that. You’d be working at the mill, alongside your cousins.”
“You’re right about that, I suppose. Should I go thank my mother?”
Kay smiled. “No, let’s leave her out of this. But speaking of calling, I should order a pizza.”
“Actually, I already did. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Found the number, did you?”
“Plastered right next to the phone. I take it you call often.”
“I’m quite friendly with Joni, yes. Although they are probably wondering why a strange woman was calling from my phone.”
“I told them you were out on your deck trying to get drunk on spiked tea, and I needed to feed you.”
“Funny. I wouldn’t doubt it if they called Mama to report me.”
“Is it really like that? I mean, does everyone still keep tabs on everyone else?”
“Oh, yes. Right now, in fact, my neighbors are all wondering about the black car in my driveway. First, they’ll assume someone in my family bought a new car until they see that it’s a Lexus. Then, they’ll think I must have a gentleman over. A wealthy gentleman at that.”
“And if the car is still here in the morning?”
“Then someone will call the café and casually mention to Mama that a strange black car was at my house all night.”
“Man, you can
’t get away with anything.”
“No. It drives me crazy sometimes, but I’m used to it.”
“It would drive me nuts. I like my privacy.”
They saw car lights flash across the trees and a short time later, the doorbell rang.
“Dinner.”
“Good. I’m starved,” Jacqueline said.
They ate the pizza in the living room, sitting on the floor as they flipped through the channels, never stopping long enough to watch anything. They were just content to be in each other’s company. Kay realized once again that Jackie was the one person in the world that she was most comfortable with, even after all this time.
“Can I tell you something?”
“Of course,” Kay said, putting her piece of pizza down and wiping her mouth with her napkin. “What is it?”
“Mr. Lawrence gave me a heads up on the will. Seems my father found a way to get back at my mother.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. He left the lumber mill to me, among other things.”
“Jesus Christ! Are you serious?”
“Afraid so.”
“Oh my God.” Then she laughed. “Can you even imagine what your mother will do?”
“Oh, yes. Vividly.”
“What about your uncle? Hasn’t he always owned a part of it?”
“A part, yes, but my father had controlling interests. I think it was like sixty-forty or something like that. I’m not sure how that came about, though. I mean, their father started it, but my father was the oldest so I assume he left it to him. It wasn’t really something that was talked about at home.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Officially, the will won’t be read until Wednesday. Then, I’m assuming that Uncle Walter will contest it, or so John says. I’m not really sure if he will. From what I remember of Uncle Walter, he didn’t really have the business sense that my father had. He ran the operation, and my father took care of the business end of it.” Jacqueline shrugged. “He may not even think to contest it. I’m sure my mother will.”
“Is that legal, though? I mean, I thought naturally everything just went to your mother.”
“Everything would go to the surviving spouse if there was no will. He left her more than fifty percent of his liquid assets, and the house, of course, but left me his portion of the mill and the rest of his estate. I’m sure the fact that I’ve been estranged from the family gives her something to stand on, but John seemed to think that everything was fine, legally. But, the problem is, I don’t want anything, certainly not the lumber mill. I mean, Jesus, I hate logging. Not to mention the fact that I would not have the first clue about the business of running it.”
“So? What will you do?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t really had a chance to absorb it. Part of me wants to take it all, just to piss my mother off.”
“You could always sell it,” Kay suggested.
“I would only sell it to Uncle Walter. I mean, half this town relies on it for their income. If I sold it to some corporation, who knows what would happen to the jobs.”
Kay reached over and squeezed Jacqueline’s arm, smiling gently at her. “After everything that’s happened to you, you still care about this town, huh?”
“The mill was here long before me. I don’t want to be vindictive about it and sell it and not give a damn about the people who depend on it.”
“That’s what I always loved about you, Jackie. You had more money than anyone else in town and you never once acted like you were any better than anyone else.”
Jacqueline looked away, embarrassed.
“I sometimes forgot where you came from. You were just one of us.”
“Just because my family had money, didn’t make me better. If anything, it made me worse. I didn’t learn to appreciate things. It wasn’t until I became friends with you, and your family treated me like one of their own, that I realized how precious things were. You never took anything for granted, Kay. Me, I had anything I wanted, anything I asked for. I think the only reason I survived when I was on my own was because of things I learned from your family.”
“I can’t imagine how you felt, them sending you away with a handful of dollars when they had millions.”
“Yeah. Don’t think the thought never crossed my mind. My mother spent that much on dinner at the country club, yet she expected me to survive on it.”
“Maybe that was the plan. She figured you’d come running home.”
“I’m sure of it. And that’s why I refused to ever ask them for a penny. I pinched and saved and ate my meals from leftovers at the restaurant, swearing I would never ask them for anything. I struggled, Kay, I won’t deny it. And it’s not like I’m wealthy now, you know. But I’ve learned to appreciate money, not take it for granted. I don’t live exorbitantly. I mean, I have a modest condo, I drive a car that’s five years old. I can afford better, but why? Just to prove it?” Jacqueline shook her head. “If there’s one thing I’m working for, it’s to buy a house outside of the city, in the foothills, maybe. That’s it. Just some… space. I don’t need a bunch of fancy stuff. And I don’t need my father’s fortune.”
“You’re afraid it’ll change you?”
“Maybe. I don’t ever want to be my parents, where the most important thing in life is money, and having more of it. Jesus, Kay, look how much money they had. Did they ever think to build a new library for the town? A youth center? Something to benefit the town? No, they kept it for themselves. And for what? So they could have a bigger house than anyone else? So they could drive a new car every year? And even then, it didn’t put a dent in their money.”
Kay smiled. “Got you on a roll, huh?”
“I’m sorry. It makes me angry. They had more money than they could possibly spend in two lifetimes, but they didn’t do any good with it. And now, my mother is going to go absolutely crazy, knowing that part of that wealth is being taken away from her. Not because she needs it. Lord knows, she’ll still have plenty.”
“Jackie, you need to stop. You’re making yourself nuts over this.”
“I know. That’s why I didn’t even want to think about it. I knew this would happen. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize to me. I agree with you. I always admired your values, Jackie. It was one of the things that drew me to you in the first place.”
“I thought it was the fact that I beat up Tommy what’s-his-name when he pushed you off the swing.”
“Haskell. And yes, you were protecting me.”
“The first time of many. You got into more trouble, Kay.”
Kay laughed. “I think it was mostly you getting me into trouble.”
Jacqueline relaxed, letting the tension of talking about her parents dissolve. Kay was right. She’d gotten on a roll. She reached over and lightly rubbed Kay’s knee.
“Kay, I’ve got to be honest with you. It means so much to me that you’ve accepted me for what I am. You can’t know how good it feels to be back here with you, sharing thoughts and feelings and knowing you won’t judge me or think less of me. I have so missed talking to you.”
Kay felt her eyes mist over at Jacqueline’s sincere words. She was the one who should be thanking Jackie. For so many years, she’d felt alone. And now Jackie had been back two days, and she felt so much like her old self again.
“I would never ever judge you, Jackie. And I know who you are and what you are, and I think you’re one of the best people I’ve ever known.” She leaned over and kissed Jacqueline’s cheek. “And I have missed you like hell.”
Jacqueline felt her heart catch as those soft lips touched her cheek. She thought it amazing that, after all this time, Kay still had the power to affect her. “Thank you,” she murmured.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Jacqueline settled under the covers in Kay’s spare bedroom, still wide awake. There were so many thoughts running through her mind, she couldn’t seem to relax. He’d left her the goddamned mill. And the bank. She cou
ldn’t believe it. Then she turned her head, glancing at the white envelope she’d left out, propped up against the clock on the nightstand. She had intended to read it, but changed her mind. Truthfully, she was scared to read it. What if it was an apology, a heartfelt confession of how he really felt about her? Then what? She’d feel guilty as hell for not trying to reconcile with him. But, at the same time, he obviously knew where she was living. He could have contacted her if he’d desired. In fairness though, he would have no idea what her reaction would have been. In fact, she wondered that herself. Obviously, since her success, they would have known where she was and what she was doing. Not that she was a household name by any means, but writing a book about a small East Texas town and having it made into a movie would have caused some heads to turn in tiny Pine Springs, Texas. Surely.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, willing sleep to come. She relaxed, thoughts of her father replaced with thoughts of Kay. Jesus, after all this time, she thought she’d be over that by now. But just being around Kay conjured up all the old feelings she’d had as a teenager. It struck her suddenly that she’d never had those feelings for anyone else. The women who had paraded through her bed were just substitutes. She’d been looking for someone to make her feel the way Kay did—and none had.
Now what? Here she was, back in Pine Springs, reunited with the one woman who made her feel alive, who made her feel something. Now what?
“Leave it alone,” she whispered. Just leave it alone. There was no need for Kay to know. It was enough just to rekindle their friendship. There was no reason to tell Kay that she still had a silly teenage crush on her. Soon, she would go back to California and resume her life, and Kay would still be in Pine Springs. At least they’d reconnected. Now, they could keep in touch, talk. Perhaps it would be enough.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Kay tossed the covers off, the restless sleep she’d been fighting finally chasing her from the bed. It was still very early, but she remembered from the old days that Jackie was an early riser. She’d start coffee then grab a shower. She covered her nightshirt with a robe and walked barefoot into the living room, not bothering to turn on any lights. She was startled when the spare bathroom door opened and there stood Jacqueline, naked head to toe, her beautiful body outlined by the bright light over the vanity.
