by Gerri Hill
“Love? Jacqueline, it’s high time you realize that love has absolutely nothing to do with it. It’s all a business.”
Jackie shook her head. “No. I’m not marrying him. I’m not staying in this town. I’m going off to college. I have my own dreams, my own life. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t involve Danny Thornton and Pine Springs.”
Her mother smiled, the smile that Jackie had grown to hate over the years. The victory smile.
“ Yo u don’t really have a choice, Jacqueline dear. You have no money. Your father will simply refuse to send you to college.” She nodded. “You’ll marry Daniel Thornton.”
“The hell I will! I don’t even like boys! I’m not going to marry one.” Jackie fled out the door, childishly grabbing her bike instead of her car keys.
She slowly opened her eyes to blue sky. The river flowed past, sloshing quietly against the bank. The gentle breeze rustled the pines, muting the calls of the birds. All except the jays. They flew low over the water, congregating on the other side, disrupting the silence along the river bank.
“Tell me,” Kay said again.
Jacqueline looked at Kay, their eyes locking.
“Tell me what happened.”
Jacqueline shrugged. “My mother was planning my wedding to Danny Thornton. She was telling me how beneficial it would be to both families. I told her I wanted to go to college, I wanted to move out of Pine Springs. It didn’t matter. My future had already been decided.” Jacqueline poured the last of the wine into her cup, looking apologetically at Kay.
“I’m good. Go on.”
“I told her I wasn’t going to marry him. I told her I didn’t like boys.” Jacqueline sipped from her cup, her eyes watching the river as it flowed past. “I left, got on my bike and rode for miles, it seemed like. When I got home, my father was there. They wanted to know exactly what I meant when I said I didn’t like boys.” Jacqueline shifted, moving against the tree. “I told them I was gay.” Jackie closed her eyes, remembering her mother’s shocked expression and the disappointment in her father’s eyes.
“At first, my mother accused me of making it up just to punish her. My father said there was to be no discussion on the matter. I was marrying Daniel Thornton and that was final.” Jacqueline was aware of Kay’s soft hand taking her own. “I told him it wasn’t final. W e talked… well, mostly they screamed at me,” Jacqueline said. “I went to school like normal. It was just a couple of weeks before graduation. Then one day, my mother hauled me off to see Brother Garner. He was going to cure me, to exorcise the evil within me.”
“I’m sorry,” Kay whispered.
“I was scared to death,” Jacqueline breathed. “Scared of him, scared of what was going to happen to me.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“And I was scared of you too,” Jacqueline admitted. “I was scared you’d leave me, abandon me.”
“Oh, Jackie.” Kay moved closer, wrapping her arms around Jacqueline. “I would never have abandoned you.”
“One morning, I’m dressed for school, and my mother comes into my room with this little backpack. She tossed it at me and told me to pack some clothes. Told me that since I wasn’t normal, they had no use for me. She drove me to the bus stop over in Cherokee. I guess she didn’t want anyone in Pine Springs to see her. She bought me a ticket to Dallas and gave me a hundred dollars. She told me not to come back until I’d come to my senses.”
“My God,” Kay murmured.
Jacqueline shook her head, burying her face against Kay, accepting the comfort Kay’s arms offered. “I was so scared, Kay. I had no idea what I was going to do.”
“You could have called me.”
Jacqueline pulled away. “Kay, I wasn’t even eighteen. My parents had just disowned me, had sent me away in shame. There was no way I was going to call you. For all I knew, it was all over town, all over school. And I didn’t want you to hate me.”
“I swear, you were always so stubborn.”
Jacqueline shook her head. “I just couldn’t take a chance with you.”
“So you just left me,” Kay stated quietly.
Their eyes held, both questioning. Then Jacqueline’s cell interrupted the silence. She grabbed the phone from her jeans and checked caller ID. She grinned. “Busted.”
“Who?”
“It’s the Lawrence’s number,” she said before connecting. “Jacqueline Keys.”
“Jacqueline? It’s Mary Lawrence. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Mary. Just… Kay and I are catching up.”
“We were worried when you didn’t show up at the cemetery.”
“I’m sorry about that, but Kay convinced me to play hooky.”
Kay punched her arm. “I did not,” she hissed.
“I decided to skip out, Mary. I’m sorry, but I’d had enough. So, we came down here to the river where we used to come when we were kids. Just wanted to visit some, have some time alone.”
“I understand. You might have Kay call the café. John called there looking for you when you didn’t show up. I think he got Rose and her mother worried.”
Jacqueline nodded. “We’re about to head back. We’ll swing by there.”
“What?” Kay asked when Jacqueline had disconnected.
“Oh, they were rounding up a posse. Didn’t know anyone would miss us.”
Kay rolled her eyes. It was just like old times. She took Jacqueline’s offered hand and let herself be pulled to her feet.
“Come on, Miss Garland. Let’s get you back before your mother has my hide.”
On the drive back, Kay again brought up the subject of Jacqueline staying with her. “You know, my offer still stands.”
“What’s that?”
“If you want to stay with me. I’ve got an extra room that’s just going to waste.”
“Not afraid of the local gossip?”
“Just the fact that you’re back in town is gossip enough. I doubt anyone will care where you’re staying.”
“Well, you know, I think I might just take you up on that, if you’re serious.”
“I’m very serious. I would love for you to stay with me. It’ll give us more time to catch up. Because, first of all, you’ve not told me a thing about your life.”
“Haven’t I?”
“No, not really. You’re very good at skirting questions.”
“Okay. I’ll let you grill me with questions if you’ll cook. I haven’t had a home-cooked meal in years.”
“Well, you may regret that. I’m afraid Rose inherited all my mother’s culinary skills.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Kay waved as the black Lexus pulled away, then walked into the café only to be confronted with both Rose and her mother.
“Where the hell have you been?”
“I wasn’t aware that you were keeping tabs on me, Rose.”
“Of course not, Kay, we were just worried,” her mother said, taking in her jeans and the blanket that was folded under her arm. She raised her eyebrows.
“We went to the river.”
“The river? You’re not in high school anymore, Kay! You can’t just go sneaking off like that and expect us not to worry.”
“If you use this tactic on your kids, Rose, no wonder they like me better.”
“Her father was being buried, and you skip out to go to the river?”
“Yes, actually. And it wasn’t my idea.”
Her mother laughed. “It never was. Always Jackie’s fault, if I recall.”
“She’s been back two days, and you’re already grounded,” Rose tossed over her shoulder as she walked back around the counter.
Kay turned to her mother. “We just wanted to talk.” She paused. “I told her about Billy Ray.”
“Oh my. What did she do?”
Kay smiled. “Threatened to kill him.”
“Yes, she was always your protector. But you talked? That’s good. Rose seems to think that you’ve kept it all inside. You certainly haven’t told us al
l that happened. That can’t be good, Kay, keeping it inside like that.”
“I know, Mama. But some things, I didn’t want to share with you or Rose. I’ve always been able to talk to Jackie.”
“Even after all this time?”
“Yeah. Obviously, we’ve both changed, but that… that connection is still there. In fact, she’s going to stay with me while she’s here.”
“She is? Well, good. It’ll be nice for you to have company.”
“We need a cook back here,” Rose called.
“The boss is cracking her whip,” her mother said with a wink. “You going to stay?”
“I was hoping Rose would run me home.”
“It’ll be another hour before we get cleaned up,” her mother warned.
“That’s okay. I’ll help.”
Later, as Kay was helping Rose load the dishwashers, Rose nudged her. “Mama says you told Jackie about Billy Ray.”
“I swear, you can’t keep anything from the two of you.”
“I can’t believe you went to the river,” Rose said. “When’s the last time you’ve been out there?”
Kay smiled. “The last time Jackie took me there, I guess.”
“You’ve missed her, huh?”
“Yeah. More than I thought. It’s like we just picked up where we left off, you know?”
“I was always jealous of your relationship,” Rose admitted. “I never had a close friend like that. Not like you two.” Rose closed the door to the dishwasher and turned it on, the swooshing sound of the water familiar to both of them. “And I know that since Jackie left, you haven’t had another close friendship.”
“No, I haven’t.”
“It’s strange. Greg and I have a handful of friends, other couples with kids, but you’ve been my closest friend. For you, well, I couldn’t replace Jackie. You’ve been more or less alone. I worry about you. I wish you would go out, date—something.”
“I’m fine, Rosie. Quit worrying about me.”
“Your highlight of the week is when you get to babysit my kids. You’re going to end up like old Ms. Cutter, I just know it.”
“Why does everyone call her that? She’s barely sixty.”
“She’s been here forever, and she’s always been alone, that’s why.”
“Maybe she just doesn’t date anyone here in town. Maybe she’s got someone outside of town.”
Rose put her hands on her hips. “What are you saying?”
“Nothing. Never mind.”
Rose narrowed her eyes. “You’ve met someone in another town? Who is he?”
Kay rolled her eyes. Rose had a one-track mind. “I’ve not met anyone, Rose. Trust me, if I do, you’ll be the first to know.”
“Uh-huh.” Rose took her apron off and wadded it up, shoving it in her bag. “You want to come over? Greg was picking up a pizza.”
“Can’t. I’m having company.”
“Oh?”
“Jackie. She’s going to stay with me.”
“Yeah?” Rose watched her then smiled. “You can both come over.”
“What? And fight your kids for pizza? No thanks.”
Rose smiled. “I’m glad your friend is back, Kay. But you know she’ll be leaving again, right?”
“I know. It’s just good to see her.”
“Yeah, it is. Well, come on. I’ll drop you off.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
“I like your house,” Jacqueline said. She pulled her chair closer to Kay’s up on the back deck and sat down. “How long have you had it?”
“Two years this summer. I rented after… well, after the thing with Billy Ray. Mama wanted me to stay with them, but I needed some place of my own. The store was doing well, and I managed to save quite a bit.” She took a sip of the sweet tea that Jackie made for her and continued. “I never told anyone this, but I seriously thought of moving out of town and starting over, you know. But, my whole family is here. I’d just be lost.”
“Where were you going to go?”
“I’d thought about Dallas. But then, what would I do? My store’s doing well here, and it just didn’t make sense to sell it.”
“You remember how we used to crawl up into that big oak tree at your parents’ house? We talked about what we were going to do when we got out of this town. We had such big plans.”
“Yes, we did. And you made it out and have done quite well for yourself. I was so proud of you. When we went to the movies and I saw your name up there, I was so happy. And sad.”
“Sad?”
“Sad that you weren’t in my life anymore. Sad that we didn’t get to say good-bye.”
“Ah, Kay, you didn’t cry for me, did you?” Jacqueline asked quietly.
“For you or myself, I don’t know which. But yes.”
“I was… I was so scared when I got off that bus in Dallas. I’d had almost four hours to think about it, but I still didn’t have a clue as to what I would do. Part of me wanted to go back home and beg them to let me stay. But the stubborn part of me wouldn’t allow it.” Jacqueline stretched her legs out, enjoying the coolness of the evening. Her eyes scanned Kay’s small backyard, noting absently that Kay might not have gotten her mother’s culinary skills, but she most certainly got her green thumb.
“What did you do?”
“Got a cheap motel. I think the guy there thought I was a runaway. I’m surprised he didn’t call the cops. But I only had a hundred dollars and knew that wouldn’t get me far. I spent that first night alone, hungry and scared. I had the TV on, and they were doing this piece on some actress in Hollywood. I don’t even remember who it was now. But she was saying how she’d come to Los Angeles without a dime in her pocket and how she worked as a waitress while she tried to land a role.” Jacqueline shrugged. “I thought, hell, I can do that.”
“In Dallas?”
“No. I thought if I was really going to get away, hell, might as well go for the top. So, I got a bus ticket as far as Phoenix. That was all the money I had, except twenty bucks. I wanted to keep something to eat on, you know. When I got to Phoenix, I hitched a ride to Los Angeles. Took me three more days to get there.”
“Oh, Jackie. Anything could have happened. You could have been—”
“I know. But, I didn’t really care at the time. Besides, luck was on my side. The last guy to pick me up owned a restaurant. He put me to work right away.”
“Where did you live?”
“I stayed at the Salvation Army shelter for awhile, but it was kinda scary. Finally, one of the girls there at the restaurant let me bunk with her.” Jacqueline blushed. Her first sexual experience. God, it had been awful. She didn’t even like the girl all that much.
“What?”
“Nothing. We… well, we kinda became involved. But it was a disaster. I moved about six months later, moved in with this gay guy I’d met. Christopher. We’re still good friends, actually. He’s a cartoonist.”
“So? Tell me about college.”
“Not much to tell. Started out going to class at night so I could still work. Then, got a night job at a bar so I could go full time. Any spare time I had, I wrote. It was mostly therapy, I think. Christopher knew all about my family, and he liked what I was writing. He was friends with this guy who was friends with Ingrid. She’s my agent. He hooked us up and, well, it took off from there.”
“No Place For Family?”
“Yeah. But it literally took years to finish. Ingrid was pushing, wanting me to get it done right then, but I’d worked too hard with college. I wasn’t about to quit. I continued working, going to school and writing when time allowed. Of course, with studying, it didn’t leave much time. I finally finished it three months after I graduated.” She grinned. “Did I do a good enough job of portraying my mother, you think?”
Kay laughed. “When I was watching the movie, I thought so.”
“So, eight years after leaving Pine Springs on a bus, I had enough money to get my own apartment and quit my job and write. End of story.”
/>
“End of story?”
“I live in a very nice condo now up the coast in Monterey.”
“What else aren’t you telling me?”
Jacqueline smiled. “There’s no exciting love story, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
“Why not?”
“I told you, I just never met anyone that I wanted to be with.”
“Why? Afraid?”
“Afraid? What do you mean?”
“You didn’t exactly have a role model to go on. Were you afraid your relationship would end up like your parents?”
“You know, even back then, I think I knew their marriage was rocky. I mean, surely my father couldn’t have been happy living with her. At first, I just kinda lumped them together, you know. But as I got older, I realized my father was pretty much in the same boat as I was, being controlled by her. Here he was, the largest employer in the county, the mayor of Pine Springs, and he had to come home to her. God, Kay, she was so… so superficial, I guess is the word I’m looking for. Everything she did, everything she said was just an act she performed, as if everyone was watching her.”
“I know. And for all your brave words, you were terrified of her.”
“Yeah, I was. I wanted a family like you had. There was such love there. I mean, even in front of us, your parents showed affection to one another. I can’t remember my parents even touching. And you know, they never once told me they loved me. My mother tried her best to teach me how to be a lady, how to be a Keys. You know, if you and I hadn’t been friends, if I hadn’t seen how a real family interacted with one another, I may have thought it was perfectly normal the way my parents were. God knows, most of their friends were exactly the same.”
“I know she practically despised me. I was scared to death to go to your house. I was never good enough to be your friend.”
“I remember once, she told me that the Garlands weren’t of the same social class as us. I didn’t understand what she meant. In my young mind, I enjoyed being with you and your family much more than my own. She used to tell me she wished I was more like my cousins who knew their place in this town. It wasn’t until we were in high school that it clicked with me what she was trying to tell me, when the Thorntons’ kept coming over. I know now that Daniel must have hated it as much as I did.”
