Protocol One

by Jacqueline Druga

  The sprinklers stopped, but the floor was slippery and as the man struggled with the wound I had inflicted, I lost my footing and slipped to the floor. The blood from his wound spurted out and Melissa charged forth, grabbing Baby John before he slipped from the hands of his captor.

  It was a plan that wasn’t thought out over a long period of time. We moved on an act of faith and acted on gut instinct and passion.

  It could have gone terribly wrong. Thankfully, it didn’t.

  Peter raced into the room, jumping with a victorious “Yes!”. He bounced up and down in enthusiasm, seemingly forgetting all the death that had occurred.

  I raced over to Tony and using the bloody pocket knife, I cut the ropes from his wrist. He immediately grabbed on to Joie and me and brought us into him.

  “Oh my God.” He kissed her then me. Back and forth, over and over. “I was so scared for you two. So scared.”

  Tony was rattled, I couldn’t imagine what he felt.

  “We’re fine” I told him.

  “Lenny. Did he hurt you?” Tony asked.

  “No.” I shook my head. “Thanks to your daughter, he didn’t have a chance.”

  Tony looked curiously at Joie but then embraced her again in gratefulness.

  “I’ll explain it to you later,” I told him.

  It was as if Tony didn’t want to let either of us go, but he had to. Despite his tough exterior, Tony was injured.

  He said something to the effect that it was over.

  In a way he was right, it was over. The situation had ended.

  I looked around at the carnage in the dining room, and at the mess that had become of our perfect, tidy, preplanned world.

  Yes, the danger was over, but emotionally and physically, I knew the situation was far from over.

  38 – Cleaning Up

  The blood on the floors, the bodies, the water that soaked the kitchen, they are part of the clean up process, but so was something else.

  The two children, Angel and Luke along with the eighteen month old girl were among remaining fire hall people.

  The only adult survivor was Luke’s mother.

  “Get rid of them all,” said Nelly.

  “Nelly, come on,” Spencer said. “They’re kids.”

  “I don’t care. Well, the baby can stay. The six year old boy and five year old girl danced around without a care in the world.” Nelly stated. “Our people were tied up, guns pointed at them, and they didn’t blink. Something is wrong with them. If they don’t turn now, they will later. They’ll be trouble.”

  Spencer laughed in disbelief. “They are children. They stay.” He looked at me. “They stay.”

  I glanced over to Peter. “What do you think?”

  “I think we need to think about who is going to take care of them. Because obviously, the mother has to go. We can’t let her stay. Honestly, I’m on the fence about the kids.”

  I found it hard to believe that rational people like Peter and Nelly were speaking like they were. We four were making the decisions, while Craig treated the wounds of our people. The decision of the children, not the mother. That was unanimously voted on.

  But the kids ….

  I did see Nelly’s point. Prior to knowing Joie, I would have argued that there was no way the kids could have known what was happening. I thought back to how aloof Jackson was at that age. But Joie had been an intricate part of the rescue. She knew what had to be done and said.

  If she understood. So did those kids.

  But they were kids, and ignoring the ‘You’ll be sorry’ from Peter, I made up my mind that they would stay. Angel was dealing with seeing the father killed and Luke would lose his mother as well.

  They were still young enough to be influenced with love and kindness.

  Before the remaining clean up could occur, we had to toss out the trash.

  The remaining guilty.

  Clarisse.

  That was her name.

  All the drama had happened before it was lunch, and it would be almost dinner time, if we all worked together, before we got the bunker back to normal.

  “If you want to give her a fighting chance,” Peter says. “She has to go now. In a few more hours she won’t last fifteen minutes.”

  A fighting chance.

  Did I want to give her a fighting chance? Did they give Abe a chance?

  My answer was that I would.

  For a moment that morning, I lost who I was. Whether or not they were deadly, I took two human lives and was facing that guilt. Her death would not be at my hands, and I could mentally deal with setting her out into the wilderness if I gave her a fighting chance.

  I packed a backpack with rations and water. In that bag was a Mylar blanket, matches, and hand warmers.

  We had six arctic suits and I gave her one along with a good strong hand held spot light.

  “Are we putting on the perimeter lights?” Peter asked.

  “No. I don’t want to light up the world for everyone to see. She has the spotlight, she can make it,” I said. I believed that.

  Tony and I didn’t don full arctic gear, but we wore the coats as we escorted her up to the bay.

  Luke came with us and we covered him in a thermal blanket

  We debated on letting him see his mother leave. But Clarisse wanted to have a last goodbye with her son before she walked out the door into the black cold abyss.

  The mother in me could not deny that.

  Did I feel guilty? Yes. I struggled with the decision. I actually did.

  “This is insane,” Tony whispered to me. “You saw what they did. I would have just taken her out as is.”

  “Wasn’t there enough death today?”

  Clarisse was calm and knew she had to leave. She didn’t fight it and she showed no fear.

  “If I survive this,” she said. “I want to come back for my son. I’ll stand at the gate until you see me.”

  I didn’t answer her, but I was certain my eyes conveyed that I understood.

  The door was still closed, she had all she needed and before covering her face, she kneeled down to be at her son’s level.

  Luke grabbed on to her. “Don’t go.”

  “I have to.” She said. “Mommy did something bad.”

  “Please. Please. Don’t leave.” He cried.

  “I have to. I’ll be back. I will. I love you. I love you so much. Everything I did, I did so you will live. This … is so you’ll live.”

  He shook his head, clutching to her.

  “Baby, let go.” She removed his arms. “Mommy has to leave.”

  Clarisse had to pry his arms from her and she didn’t make eye contact with me during her goodbye. I suppose she didn’t want me to think she was trying to change our minds.

  She had accepted her fate.

  I truly felt bad for the boy.

  “Cover your face and lower the goggles.” Tony told her. “The cold will burn your eyes, they’ll water and the tears will freeze.”

  She did as instructed.

  Luke sobbed loudly once more.

  Tony reached for the door. “Anna, hold your breath, cover the boy and move him back.”

  I wrapped Luke tighter in the blanket and inched him back from the blast of cold air that I knew would come in.

  Tony undid the locks.

  He looked at me and opened the door.

  I was holding my breath, but even in the coat I could feel the cold air.

  Clarisse looked over her shoulder at Luke, and after adjusting the bag over her shoulder she turned on the spotlight and stepped into the darkness.

  It consumed her and the light almost immediately.

  Tony pushed on the door, but before it latched and closed, Luke cried out a screaming, “Mommy”” and took off out the door after her.

  He left the blanket behind and a state of panic hit me.

  He was a child, a small child.

  He vanished into the blackness. How scared would he be? Driven by the bravery to be with
his mother, the child ran out without thinking.

  He would drown in that sea of dark, frigid air.

  “Oh my God.” I grabbed the radio. “Pete hit the perimeter lights now!”

  “What are you doing?” Tony asked.

  I started to hyperventilate, and within seconds the huge spotlights outside lit up and brightened a wide area.

  It was something we didn’t want to do. The glow of it would send a smoke signal. But it had to be done.

  And I was grateful I made that choice.

  Clarisse never knew her son followed her. She had veered left and the child ran straight.

  Without a coat he was a good thirty feet from his mother, in the dark he would had never seen her.

  When the lights came on, Clarisse stopped.

  I raced out despite Tony’s warning, and ran to the child.

  The cold air caused a stabbing pain in my bronchial tube, I was afraid to breathe, but in the few seconds, the child, without a coat, was on the frozen ground.

  When I arrived at the boy, he was already frosted over. Again, I panicked. I had to get him back in and fast. I saw Clarisse running our way and just as I shucked my coat in a rush from my shoulders, another coat landed over the child and Tony swept Luke into his arms, spun, didn’t say anything, and raced back to the bunker.

  It was a freezing cold, like I had never felt. A 'to the bone' cold and I pulled my jacket back on, slipped a little on the ground as I stood and headed to the bunker.

  In my route, I passed Clarisse and stopped.

  Her goggles were off and she stared at me desperately. Her eyelashes were frozen over and I could feel mine doing the same.

  She was a mother fearing for her son. And whether she was a good person or bad, I understood her worry. I really did.

  The lights went back off as soon as I hit the open bunker doors. I could only assume, Peter was watching. I walked in and shut the door. I was still cold. A cold that had reached my bones and I was only outside for a few minutes. Survival, in my opinion, was not an option if left exposed. It was flat out impossible.

  I headed down the long haul of stairs to the main fail safe door and Tony approached as soon as I emerged on the walkway that connected the two hives.

  “Anna.” He spoke firmly yet calmly.“You are a good person, you really are, and I understand why you did that. But you lit us up like the Madison Square Garden Christmas tree. Anyone even remotely close saw that.”

  “No one is out there, Tony. It’s too cold.”

  “It was a crazy thing to do. I know the boy ran out. It crushed me when I saw it too. But he wanted his mother. It was insane Anna, you could have died. I wanted to kill you for that choice.”

  “Yeah, well, if you wanted to kill me over that choice. I guess I’m a goner over this one.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  I stepped back and reached into the stairwell, waved my hand, and Clarisse emerged.

  Tony looked at me and then walked away.

  39 – Being Human

  Because he was unprotected by the elements, and the temperature was severely low, Luke suffered immediately form hypothermia. He was being monitored and treated in the medical room. Of course, he had an IV.

  I placed Ben as guard on the door, while Clarisse sat with her son. I was prepared for the backlash. Ben didn’t say much; just that it was my decision.

  “Are you one of those bleeding hearts?” asked Nelly. She griped and complained but then, like Ben, said it was my choice.

  Melissa understood. She even stated such. If there were more than one remaining, she would disagree, but it was just the one woman. How much damage could she do?

  Tom wholeheartedly disagreed with that. We were merely guessing that there weren’t any more people at the fire hall. We didn’t know for sure. He wasn’t trusting her. Why would he?

  Craig and Skyler pretty much mirrored each other in opinions. Stating ‘what’s done is done’, and 'you can’t send her out there now'.

  “You could,” said Duke. “But since you’re being humane, then you don’t. We place her under lock and watch. What else can we do?”

  Peter said to give her a pair of gloves and a bucket and put her on clean up.

  I agreed to that and I agreed to locking her up.

  Anything to keep the peace because I knew the others weren’t happy with my decision.

  Tony on the other hand, avoided me.

  I hated that we were once again at odds.

  Tony had taken over the little office next to Peter. He didn’t go there to work as much as he went there to hide out from everyone.

  Since the Clarisse incident, he had been busy cleaning, despite Craig telling him to take it easy with his facial injuries.

  When I knew he was in that office, I cornered him.

  “This relationship won’t work,” I said as I entered. “If we keep fighting. It’ll be a long haul.”

  “We aren’t fighting.” Tony kicked back at the desk chair. “And this relationship has no choice but to work. We have years to work on it.”

  “You’re mad at me.”

  “Nope.” He shook his head. “Just trying to understand your reasoning”

  “Tony, if you would have seen her face. How desperate she looked.”

  “She was cold.”

  “It was her son that was injured.”

  “If she was so worried about her son she wouldn’t have joined the others.” He leaned forward.

  “She did what she did out of desperation. She wanted to make sure he survived.”

  “Then she should have asked for our help.”

  “Why are you countering everything I say?”

  “Why are you defending her?”

  I growled.

  “Look, here’s the deal.” Tony walked round the desk. “We as a community all agreed to kick her out. You brought her back in. What does that say to us about how you feel about what we want?”

  “You’re right.”

  “I know.” He stepped to me. “But what’s done is done.”

  “I keep hearing that.”

  “What else do you want everyone to say? Just stick to your guns about kicking her out when the temperatures are tolerable.”

  “I will. I promise.” I held up my hand.

  “Now,” He pulled me closer. “How are you?”

  “Me? I’m fine.”

  “Are you? Because you dealt with a lot today. Things that you typically wouldn’t have to deal with.”

  “I know. I’m fine for now. What about you?”

  “Well my face hurts and my ego is bruised,” Tony said.

  “You’re ego is bruised?”

  “Uh, yeah. I did this shit for a living. Yet, part of my rescue team, was a five year old, an old woman, an aging sick cop and Peter. Peter?” He grunted. “Of all people.”

  “Peter is a nice man.”

  “Yes, everyone is well aware of how nice you think Peter is.”

  “You didn’t mention me in your wild rescue crew list.”

  “That’s because I’m not surprised. You rise to the occasion Anna.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Sometimes, you rise and miss the occasion,” he said with sarcasm.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You get your own agenda in your head. Like when we drove out here. No problem,” Tony waved out his hand. “Come on everybody, hop on in, we’re going to a survival shelter, plenty of room.”

  I closed my eyes and shook my head. I felt him dart a quick kiss to my lips.

  “And on that note,” He squeezed my hand, and placed his lips to my cheek. “Back to work. And … thank you. Thank you for today.” He walked by me to the door.

  “Tony.” I reached back and grabbed his hand. “I’ll get better with my choices.”

  “Nah. If you did that, just think of how boring things would be.” He opened the door and left.

  At first I smiled at his words, but then after a minute, I descended into a
metal debate on whether or not he had just complimented my decisions or insulted them. Knowing Tony, I decided to wager on the latter.

  <><><><>

  Cleaning up took most of the day and into the evening. My room was still not done, and it was the worst. It had the most blood and it would need to be redone.

  Tony offered for me to stay with him and Joie, but I declined. There were plenty of rooms available. Although no matter how much we tried, we couldn’t get it very warm in the shelter. It was going to be a long, cold, night. Plus, Tony needed that time alone with Joie. For as tough as she projected to be, Joie had a rough day.

  We all did.

  I should have been tired but I wasn’t.

  Craig and Skyler decided to take on the task of caring for Angel and like everyone else, they were going to bed early.

  It was quiet. Tom was working the night shift in the switch room. He was an option to visit if I could just calm down.

  Problem for me was, with the quiet of the night came the thoughts and suddenly my mind raced with everything that had happened earlier in the day.

  My plan was to go down to the lower level, kick up a fire in the portable fireplace, since no one would see the smoke signal, sip on some wine and just reflect.

  Someone else had the same idea.

  I spotted the orange glow when I walked in.

  Spencer was sitting on one of the couches holding a mug and staring into the fire.

  “I’m sorry. Am I interrupting?” I asked.

  Being funny, he looked left to right. “Nope. Have a seat. The fire will burn another hour. Enjoy.”

  I walked over and sat next to him, turning my body his way to have a face to face conversation.

  “What brings you down here?”I asked.

  “Reflection.”

  “Me, too. Seems we had the same idea.”

  He reached over and patted my leg. “How are you?”

  I glanced down to my drink. “It’s hitting me.”

  “I’m not surprised.”

  “I don’t understand what I’m feeling,” I said to him. “I’m afraid to tell Tony.”

  “What is it?”

  “I feel guilty. Horribly guilty. I feel like I’m in a bad dream and I have this overwhelming feeling of bad. That I did something bad.”