Archaic

by Regan Ure

  I stood there and continued to watch him while holding my arms across my stomach. After several moments he seemed to have calmed down enough to pull his phone out and call someone. All he said was, "I found her and she's safe."

  He was calling off the search party. I felt worse.

  For a few minutes, which felt a lot longer, he continued to look out the window. It was like he couldn't stand to look at me. I couldn't look at him anymore so I dropped my gaze to the carpet, dropping my arms to my sides. It had never been my intention to upset or worry anyone. How did I explain to him that I was changing? How did I explain to him that in probably in a few short weeks my life might not be worth saving? I might be a Hue, a psychopath.

  "I'm sorry," I whispered. He turned my face, and my eyes lifted to meet his.

  He let out another deep sigh before he walked closer to me. I felt the sting of tears when I thought about all the things I wanted to tell him but couldn't.

  "I shouldn't have yelled at you like that," he said softly. His hand reached out and touched my cheek gently.

  "I'm sorry for hurting you," he added. His fingers brushed over the skin gently, soothing it. A touch of warmth from him and the slight pain eased.

  My eyes dropped to where his hands made contact with my skin. A glow of light seeped from his hands into my skin. After he stopped healing me and the glow disappeared, I lifted my gaze to his. My breath stilled at the soft, brief touch while my eyes held his. His eyes drifted down to where his fingers still touched my skin as he stepped closer, putting his body so close to mine that I could feel the heat emanating from him.

  "I just want you to be safe," he whispered. His deep green eyes caressed my face and I felt something come alive in me beneath his watch.

  He dropped his hands as his eyes met mine again. It was like time stood still just for those couple of seconds. His hand cradled my face and I covered his hands with mine. Waiting. For what, I wasn't sure. His eyes flickered to my lips and he leaned closer. I felt the soft touch of his breath against my lips before he kissed me. It was the softest of touches, but a strange feeling rushed through me and I didn't want it to stop. My knees weakened. His mouth covered mine and I slid my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. It was my first kiss and I was unsure of what to do so I mirrored his actions as his lips moved against mine. Then, unexpectedly, he pulled away from me.

  I swear I'd felt the earth move.

  We were both breathing hard and he looked as unsettled as I felt. His dark eyes watched me as I touched my fingers to my lips, holding his gaze. Breaking us out of our moment was the sound of his phone starting to ring. He released me as he pulled it out of his pocket and he answered the call.

  "Yeah. Are you sure?" he asked and he frowned. "I'll be there in ten."

  He ended the call and shoved his phone back into the pocket of his jeans.

  "I have to go. I need to check something out," he told me. "Danny was on his way back from searching for you and he passed the clearing. He says there's evidence the Hue have just been there."

  I froze, feeling my heart speed up.

  "I'll call you when I'm finished and we'll finish this later," he said.

  Unable to form words, I nodded my head. Fear held me in a tight grip.

  He studied me for a few seconds, his expression unreadable, before he strode out of my bedroom, leaving me alone.

  No, no, no! It couldn't be possible.

  Any hope that I wasn't changing into a Hue evaporated in that moment. The clearing, that hadn't been the Hue--it had been me. If they thought it was Hue energy, that meant my worse fear was becoming a reality.

  I was becoming a Hue.

  I put a hand to my chest as my heart hammered so hard it felt like it was going to explode from my chest. I needed to calm down. Breathing in a deep breath, I held it for a few moments before releasing it.

  Thoughts of Jared and what had just happened between us got pushed to the back of my mind as I concentrated on the bigger problem. I couldn't think about our kiss when I was worried about what he'd do when he figured out the person responsible for the energy in the clearing was me.

  I began to pace the length of my room, trying to figure out what I was going to say or do when Jared turned up on my doorstep with questions. What was I going to do? Would they discover that I was the source of the energy in the clearing? Would they find out I was turning into a Hue, the enemy? And if they did, would they kill me?

  I closed my eyes and a memory of Mason flashed through my mind, his black, empty eyes and his cruel smile. If that was what I was becoming, then Jared and the rest of the Archaic would hate me. I honestly doubted that Mason would try and kill me again when I was turning into a Hue like him. I didn't need protection from the Hue; if I was becoming like Mason, they would need protecting from me.

  Jared was convinced Mason would be back for me. Would it be to integrate me into my new life as a Hue? So many questions raced through my mind, one after the other. I pressed my palm to my head to ease the growing headache from my panic.

  Would there be a way to stop it? The worst-case scenario was that I was going to become exactly like Mason--an unfeeling monster. I didn't want that to happen, but I hadn't figured out how to stop it if it came to that.

  I wouldn't be able to keep it from the Archaic forever but I had a reprieve for the moment. And I needed that time to figure out what I was going to do. If I had any hope of keeping Jared in the dark about my secret, I needed to spend less time around him and keep him at arm's length.

  I thought about our kiss. My lips still felt the pressure of his lips against mine. I swallowed the emotion that the memory of the kiss pulled from me. Did the kiss mean something? Remembering his features when he'd pulled away from me, I knew it had affected him in some way.

  Shaking myself mentally, I reminded myself that once he found out what I was turning into, it wouldn't matter. Sitting on my bed deep in thought, I tried to figure out how to keep him at a distance. After the attack, the guilt had pushed him to watch over me, but I needed to stop his watching; otherwise, he'd discover my secret before I could figure out what to do.

  My phone started to ring. I knew who it was before I looked. Hesitating for a moment to gather my nerves, I answered the call.

  "Sorry. It took us longer than expected to investigate," Jared told me.

  "It's okay."

  An uncomfortable silence settled between us and I had no idea what to say to break it.

  "We need to talk," he said. His voice was serious.

  Had he figured out it was me? Or was this to talk about the kiss? My instincts told me that if he'd discovered the Hue energy belonged to me he would have come directly to my house. I had a feeling this talk would have something to do with the kiss.

  "Can I come over?" he asked.

  I swallowed my nervousness.

  "Sure," I answered, sounding a little breathless.

  I couldn't hide. I had to face him.

  My mind was already coming up with ways to keep him at bay. It didn't matter how much I'd wanted that kiss, or how much I wanted him. None of that mattered. The only thing that mattered was keeping him at a distance, which was going to be difficult if he insisted on driving me to school and back every day.

  It wasn't long before there was a knock at my front door and I opened it. My stomach flipped at the sight of him, and the memory of my reaction to his kiss tingled through me.

  "You going to invite me in?" he asked, pulling me out of my deep thoughts.

  "Yes...come in," I said, feeling my nerves return in full force.

  He stepped into my house and I closed the door.

  Turning to face him, I got the full impact of his dark green eyes that looked at me as if they could see right through to my soul. Did he know I was hiding something?

  I led him into the living room. Anne was going to be home soon and I didn't want her coming home and finding Jared in my room. I didn't want to have to field those questions. I sat down on the
couch, my body angled to face him. He sat down beside me.

  "Did you find the Hue?"

  He shook his head. His dark hair fell across his forehead and he pulled his hand through his hair.

  "No."

  Relief flooded through me, but it was short lived, as I noticed the way Jared's eyes held mine. Intense and dark.

  It was hard to think when he was looking at me like that.

  "What did you want to talk about?" I asked, not wanting to bring up the kiss in case he wanted to talk about something else.

  "I want to talk about what happened before Danny called me," he revealed.

  I clasped my hands together so that he couldn't see them shake.

  "I won't do it again," I said and he looked at me a little puzzled. "I won't go out after school."

  A ghost of a smile tipped his mouth as he shook his head.

  "I've learned my lesson," I continued to babble. "Really, I never intended to worr--"

  He cut me off by leaning closer and reaching to cup my face. He held me close and I stopped talking midsentence while staring into his beautiful eyes. My conscience told me to pull away and put him at a distance, but I didn't want to. I wanted to be kissed by him one more time, just one more time.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  In that moment just before he kissed me, I felt a shift inside. His eyes held mine for a few seconds before they rested on my lips. A numbness set in, draining all the swirling emotions inside of me. By the time his mouth touched mine, I felt nothing.

  I put a hand up to his chest and pushed him away.

  "Don't," I said in a calm, detached voice, my hand still against his chest.

  His forehead creased as his eyes narrowed.

  "What's wrong?" he asked with a frown. I pulled my hand away from him.

  I should have felt nervous or guilty for what I was going to do, but I didn't. For some reason I felt nothing and that made the next step so much easier.

  "We shouldn't have kissed," I explained, my tone calm and even.

  "Really?" he asked, looking more perplexed.

  "Yes," I assured him, shifting a little away from him. His eyes took in the action and his frown deepened.

  With no emotions to contend with, I was able to follow my logical thinking from before. To keep my secret I had to keep my distance from him, and that couldn't happen if there was something going on between us. Besides, what would be the purpose in allowing him to get closer to me when in the end I wasn't sure how much time I still had before I became a Hue?

  "What happened earlier shouldn't have happened," I stated to him. I didn't blink.

  His eyebrows rose slightly with surprise, and then he crossed his arms.

  "It shouldn't have happened," I reiterated.

  "Why not?" he asked as he cocked his head to the side.

  "I'm not interested in you," I lied. It was a good thing I couldn't feel emotions right then, because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to lie so well.

  "Okay." His eyes narrowed and he rubbed his jaw. "Then why did you kiss me before?" he asked, his hard eyes watching me.

  "I got caught up in the moment," I answered with a shrug. I had no way to explain why I was not feeling anything, but I was grateful because it would have been so much harder if I'd felt the guilt of hurting him. His jaw twitched, his anger brewing just beneath the surface.

  "I don't believe you," he told me with his features void of any emotion, like a poker face. His eyes searched mine for answers, but there were none. There were no hidden secrets in the depths of my eyes.

  "Why is it so unbelievable?" I asked, holding his gaze.

  "I felt your response," he replied.

  "So what? I kissed you back. That doesn't mean I want more."

  If my emotions had returned at that moment I would have been so screwed, because without the veil of nothingness inside me I wouldn't have been able to continue with the lies. He would have been able to see the truth on my face.

  He studied me for a moment before he stood up.

  "Then I suppose we have nothing more to talk about," he said, his expression reserved.

  The first part of keeping him at a distance had been implemented well. Now for the second part.

  "I don't need you to take me to school in the mornings, or give me a lift home in the afternoons," I told him.

  "Irrespective of how you feel about me, your safety is still my responsibility," he told me in a detached tone. Responsibility. So that was what I was now: a responsibility.

  "I'll be perfectly fine."

  Why would Mason want to harm me now that I was becoming like him? I doubted it.

  "No. You're still in danger."

  I considered his response for a moment, trying to figure out an alternative to being in close proximity to him in his car. I could ask if one of the other Archaic could take me instead, but I felt that would just raise more questions for him and it still didn't really help. The other Archaic could also figure it out.

  "I'll get a lift to and from school with a friend," I said, trying to find a way get him to agree to what I wanted.

  "Like who?"

  It was too far out to ask Stacy, but I was sure that if I asked Andrew, who lived a little closer, he would.

  "Andrew."

  His jaw clenched and his eyes darkened. He didn't like that answer.

  "Fine," he said tightly, "just remember, no after-school activities."

  He turned around and left me standing alone. The door slammed closed--he had left.

  That had gone better than I'd expected.

  I went to my room. As soon as I closed my bedroom door, I began to feel my emotions flood through me. I leaned against my door and then slid down to the floor as my heartbreak and guilt overwhelmed me. Feeling awful that I'd done that to him, I dropped my head into my hands. I'd hurt him. There was no way I would have been able to do what I had if I hadn't been in an emotionless state. My emotions were back now, though, and I felt crappy.

  Anne was due home any minute and I still had to call Andrew and ask him if he could give me a ride to and from school. Nervously I got my phone and pushed the call button before I could change my mind.

  "Hi," he answered after a couple of rings.

  "Hey," I greeted back, my insides knotted. I was nervous about how I was going to explain this so that Andrew would help me.

  "What's up?" he asked casually.

  "Can I ask you for a favor?"

  "Sure. What do you need?"

  "Would you be able to give me a lift to school and back for a few days?" I asked before I chickened out.

  There was a pause.

  "Sure," he answered.

  I'd expected him to ask more questions or to hesitate slightly but he hadn't.

  "Is everything okay?" he asked when I didn't respond straight away.

  "Everything's fine."

  I wanted to give him an explanation, but I couldn't.

  "If something's going on, you can talk to me, you know that," he said.

  I bit down on my lip as I felt his words touch the part of me that had felt so alone. He was a good friend, but this wasn't something that was mine to share.

  "Yes, I know. Thanks."

  "Okay. I'll see you in the morning."

  When I ended the call I heard Anne get home. Supper that night was some leftovers.

  Later that evening I was relieved when I finished eating supper and I could escape to my room. The guilt of lying to Jared was eating away at me. Every time I closed my eyes I could see his eyes searching my features to explain why I was acting so differently.

  It was the first time I thought about what had come over me. It was like I'd been unable to feel any emotion for the short time I'd talked to Jared. If there had been any doubts of what I was turning into, that would have cemented the idea that I was indeed becoming a Hue.

  Physically and mentally tired, I had a shower and got dressed. I slipped into my bed. On my side hugging a pillow tight, I began to think about how long
I still had before the change was complete.

  I would probably only have a week, maybe more, and I still hadn't made my mind up about what I was going to do to stop myself from becoming a killer. Letting the change take place and becoming something I detested wasn't an option, so it only left me with one choice. There was no way I was going to become like Mason and, as far as I knew, there was only one way I could stop it.

  My breath felt heavy in my lungs as I exhaled. It wasn't an easy option to think about. I still needed more time to wrap my mind around what I had to do and I needed to do it before I didn't care anymore. I felt the weight of the world on my small shoulders, and I had to carry this burden alone.

  Somehow I managed to get a restful night's sleep. Today wasn't going to be easy, because I wouldn't be in some Hue-like emotionless state. I would see how much I hurt Jared and I would feel every emotion linked to it. For both of our sakes I needed to hide my true feelings, but it was easier said than done.

  I was still rushing to finish my breakfast when Andrew arrived to take me to school. By the time I made it out of my front door with my school bag in my hand, he was by the passenger side with the door open.

  "Hey," he greeted, with his usual smile.

  "Hi," I greeted back, trying to portray my usual self while inside I was so nervous and agitated. I got in and he closed the door.

  When he got into the car, I was a bundle of nerves.

  "You okay?" he asked, taking in my hand that was tightened around the strap of my bag.

  "I'm fine."

  He didn't seem to believe me, but he shrugged after a few moments and started his car.

  I kept telling myself that I'd done everything I could. Jared would keep his distance as well as the rest of the Archaic. There wouldn't be any more attacks by Mason. All of that seemed inconsequential compared to what I had to do before I was too far gone to care. I bit my nail as I tried to contemplate it, but at that moment it was just too much to deal with.

  The familiar sight of the school heightened my nerves as Andrew parked his car.

  He walked by my side through the entrance. This was really going to destroy my reputation. Three different guys had brought me to school in the last three days. The only good thing was that in less than two weeks I wouldn't care about my reputation, or anything else for that matter.