Lost and Found

by Natasha West

  ‘Ha,’ Sophie said.

  ‘Your passports are ready,’ Carol said. ‘Follow me.’

  The women stood and followed Carol back around the stacks, back to the office where the comb-over guy was sat on the edge of his desk, smiling. Sophie didn’t like that smile. Too many gold teeth was only one of the reasons.

  ‘Right, then. So I’ve got your passports,’ the man said. ‘But I just need to check a couple of things first.’

  Sophie nodded. ‘Sure, yeah, what?’ she asked, trying to sound unphased. She was pretty sure she was wide of the mark.

  The man’s greasy smile widened further. ‘I just wanted to check… What do you need them for? Because these are British passports. And you two are British. Why would you need fakes?’

  Sophie glanced at April, who looked at her pretty evenly. But Sophie knew better than to take that calm exterior at face value. She knew that April was trying to say, with that small look, Don’t tell him the truth.

  So Sophie turned back to the man and said, in the first accent she could think of, Australian, ‘Aww, mate, you got me.’

  The man looked surprised. ‘You’re not British?’

  ‘Nah, we’re Aussies. We’ve been here for three years on a student visa, but it runs out in a week, and the flamin’ authorities won’t let us stay, the galahs,’ Sophie said, trying to get a grip on her accent, hoping it was good enough.

  ‘Really?’ the man said, looking at April. ‘Both of you, Australian?’

  April nodded and said quickly, ‘Yep.’ It didn’t sound Australian at all, but it was one syllable, and it was passably anything.

  The man nodded and stroked his chin. He went around to his desk and pulled open the drawer. He looked at its contents for a long moment, and Sophie thought this was it, game over. He was going to pull out a gun, kill them both where they sat, and place them in a box in the warehouse, maybe next to the coffee machine.

  ‘Right, then,’ he said and pulled out two passports, slapping them on the desk. ‘Here’s the IDs.’

  Sophie nodded as though she hadn’t been picturing her own death a second ago. ‘Ta, mate.’ She stood and collected the passports, opening the first one to find her own picture next to the name, Kate Green. Another colour, but certainly better than Brown. She checked the other one, and there was April, aka Beth Reed. Not too bad. Better names than Barry had come up with, anyway.

  ‘Happy?’ the man asked.

  ‘Bonzer,’ Sophie smiled at him.

  ‘Indeed. Right, off you fuck. I’ve got a date with me bath and a glass of scotch.’

  Sophie nodded, happy to leave. She didn’t know how long she could keep doing this accent. ‘Hooroo!’ she said cheerily and turned to the door.

  Carol took them back out of the office and out of the side door. They scuttled back down the alleyway, not speaking. They turned onto the street, passing the Harry Potter shop. Sophie glanced at the window, at the Gryffindor scarves and the wands and a pair of green underpants that said, ‘May I Slytherin?’ Sophie shook her head and turned to April. ‘Is nothing sacred?’

  But April was stuffing her hand in her mouth. For a second, Sophie thought she was trying not to cry. And then she realised it was quite the opposite. She was suppressing a laugh. At the end of the street, she took her hand out, and laughter exploded.

  ‘What’s so funny?’

  ‘What’s so funny?! Where the hell did you get that accent, you sounded like Alf Stewart!’

  Sophie grinned. ‘Funny you should say that. The telly in the house only has five channels. I’ve been watching a lot of Home and Away.’

  April’s laughter doubled. ‘I can’t believe you actually said galah! And what the bloody hell does hooroo mean?’

  ‘I’m about eighty percent sure it means bye, but don’t quote me on that,’ Sophie said, laughing too.

  ‘Jesus,’ April said. ‘You were brilliant!’

  ‘Was I?’ Sophie asked, surprised.

  ‘Yeah! I didn’t know what to say, and then you just busted out that accent like it was no big deal.’

  ‘I just did what I thought you might do,’ Sophie shrugged, delighted. She’d always felt like such a wet little coward next to April. But the chips had been down, and she’d thought on April’s words and faked it until she had indeed made it. And now they were legit, Kate Green and Beth Reed. They had a place to stay for the moment, and money to take them where they needed to go once they’d figured out where that was. Sophie was flying. They were a couple of survivors, living on their wits. It felt good. It felt more like freedom than Sophie could remember feeling in some time, maybe ever. The future stretched in front of them, and it would be whatever they wanted.

  But what did they want?

  Twenty-Six

  April and Sophie walked out of the bank with two accounts set up in their new names. The bank cards would be sent to them later, but they had account numbers. Most of their cash was in the accounts, split between the two. April was relieved to have this part done. Cash was fine for a supermarket, but bigger things might raise a red flag they couldn’t afford to have raised. And walking in with the fake passports, not to mention faked bills with their names and Becky’s nan’s address had been nerve-wracking. But it had gone smoothly as butter.

  ‘Right, so we exist,’ Sophie said. ‘What now?’

  April looked down the busy high street. ‘I want to get home. I feel too exposed being in town like this.’

  Sophie nodded. ‘Right you are.’ They put their heads down and began to walk briskly through the town, headed for home. ‘I actually meant in the longer term,’ Sophie said as they marched. ‘I mean, we’ve got the passports, bank account and enough money to get to somewhere else and start again. So, where are we going, and what are we doing?’

  April nodded. ‘Just getting to this point took up so much energy, we haven’t even talked about what the next step is, have we?’

  ‘Nope.’

  ‘So I was thinking maybe Spain, but…’ April began.

  ‘Yeah, say no more,’ Sophie said. ‘Although, I mean, we don’t have to stay there if it gets tricky with visas. We could move somewhere else.’

  ‘What, keep moving?’

  ‘Yeah. We stay somewhere a few months, get cash in hand jobs, and when our time runs up, next country,’ Sophie theorised. ‘Not just Europe either.’

  A slow smile spread across April’s face. ‘Wow, you’re right. We could just keep going.’

  ‘I mean, eventually, we might want to settle somewhere, and we could figure it out then. But for now? What’s to stop us?’

  ‘But wouldn’t you feel like you were forever on the run?’ April asked.

  ‘I think it could be great,’ Sophie told her. ‘It would have scared me once, but… People always talk about gaps in the CV, how if you check out of the system, you’ll have to start again, maybe even end up worse off. That’s why I kept doing something I didn’t care about. Because something crap was better than nothing. But it’s all gone, isn’t it? That old life, I couldn’t have it back if I wanted it. So nothing to fret about now. I’m flying by the seat of my pants right now, and so far, that’s gone alright,’ Sophie said.

  April looked at Sophie in absolute wonder. ‘You’ve really… You’ve changed.’

  ‘Have I?’ Sophie asked and then proceeded to answer her own question. ‘I suppose I have. Yeah, things got fucked up, and my life basically exploded. And there were things I lost in that explosion that I might never get back. A lot of people I’m going to miss. But I can’t control that. What I can control is what I do with the things I have now. A new life. With you,’ she took April’s hand as they walked. April felt her heart flutter. She couldn’t understand, with everything that was happening, how she could be happy right now. But she was. She’d never been happier. ‘So we travel until we figure something out?’ she asked Sophie, smiling.

  Sophie smiled back. ‘Sounds like a plan. Where shall we start?’

  April chewed the insid
e of her mouth and thought on it. ‘How about Australia? You could practise your accent.’

  Sophie chuckled. ‘Jesus, I would never do that accent in front of an actual Australian. They’d string me up and rightfully so. But yeah, I like the sound of that. Sydney?’

  ‘You read my mind,’ April said. They walked on for a while, and then Sophie said, ‘It’s weird how this is all starting to feel alright. I almost feel…’

  ‘What?’ April asked.

  ‘Good,’ Sophie finished.

  ‘I feel the same. It’s like everything’s mad. But we’ve got us,’ April said.

  Sophie nodded. ‘Exactly. I mean, I know our lives went crazy. But in amongst it, I got you back. That feels like a miracle.’

  ‘OK, we have to stop walking so I can kiss you now,’ April said, putting on the brakes. Sophie stopped too, and April kissed her on the city street, a magical kiss. When it was over, Sophie’s eyes fluttered open, and she said a dash woozily, ‘We might just be drawing attention to ourselves.’

  ‘Then let’s go home,’ April said. ‘We can look at flights, get the hell out of here, and then I can kiss you all over Sydney.’

  Sophie gave April one last kiss on the lips and said, ‘You’re on.’

  ***

  A few days later, April was trying to pack, but it was difficult. Because she didn’t own anything. She had very few clothes, which she was washing on heavy rotation. Other than that, she didn’t really have much except her new passport. But she duly put those things in a suitcase they’d found in a cupboard and then looked at it, thinking maybe she should buy more things just to make the suitcase look less empty.

  Sophie walked into the bedroom. ‘I’ve come to help you pack.’ She walked over to the other side of the room, picked up a pair of jeans, put them in the case and said, ‘Well, that’s that done.’

  ‘You don’t think it looks iffy, do you?’ April asked.

  ‘To who?’

  ‘The airport. They scan the luggage.’

  ‘I think they’re looking for bombs, not minimalists,’ Sophie told her.

  April looked back down at the case. ‘I guess. But if anyone asks, we’re buying stuff when we get there because it’s cold here and warm there, and we can’t find any shorts.’

  ‘Solid story,’ Sophie said, slapping the case shut and pulling the zip round. ‘This is the first time in my life I got a suitcase shut easily. I’m usually sitting on it, grunting like an ape.’

  ‘Maybe I could fill it with a few art supplies from the airport,’ April said casually.

  Sophie looked over in surprise. ‘Yeah?’

  ‘Maybe. Anyway, what time’s the flight, again?’ April asked.

  ‘We only just booked it, how have you forgotten already?’ Sophie asked fondly.

  ‘I know when it is,’ April lied. ‘I’m just checking you do.’

  ‘A likely story. It’s nine-thirty.’

  ‘So we’ve three and a half hours?’ April said, checking the clock on the wall.

  ‘Yep. Gonna call a cab shortly.’

  ‘Is that enough time?’ April asked. ‘There must be some stuff we need to sort out?’

  ‘Nope. Been in touch with Becky to let her know we’re off and where we’ll leave the keys. I just have to throw the burner away, to be sure there’s nothing traceable.’

  ‘Thinking like a real fugitive, love it,’ April grinned.

  ‘It’s been a steep learning curve,’ Sophie told her. ‘But the practical experience has been second-to-none.’ She sighed. ‘Sad to say goodbye to Becky, though.’

  ‘Must have been. I’ve got to hand it to her; she really came through.’

  ‘That she did,’ Sophie said, sitting on the edge of the bed. ‘So, England. Done.’

  April sat down next to her. ‘For now. But you never know.’

  Sophie nodded. ‘Yeah. Fingers crossed.’ She looked at April. ‘Anything you’re going to miss?’

  April smiled, sadly. ‘Many things. Even Barry. But I feel like I’m taking the best part of home with me. So for me, it’s a lot less sad.’

  Sophie frowned. ‘I really wish you’d been born into a different family.’

  ‘But I wasn’t,’ April said evenly.

  ‘You don’t have to be stoic about it. I know we’ve not really talked that much about them, your brothers, your mum. Other than what happened at the end.’

  ‘What is there to say? I thought I had a normal if slightly co-dependent family and it turned out they were a low rent version of the Gambinos. It’s laughable,’ April said dryly.

  ‘You don’t have to do that, be cool about everything. It’s fucking horrible. I’ve always taken my family for granted, that they’d be there for me. You lost that ease of mind.’

  ‘So did you,’ April reminded her. ‘You can’t even talk to your mum and dad.’

  ‘I mean, no, I can’t talk to them. But I know they’re there, just being them. You haven’t had that. Not for a long time. If I found out my parents were not who I thought they were, that I had to be scared of them. It’s… Shit. I don’t know a word for how bad that is,’ Sophie said.

  April didn’t know how to respond. She’d learned to wall all that off a long time ago, her feelings about her family. It was too confusing. One minute they were an average bunch of people tied together by a name, blood, a roof, a dinner table, functioning just enough that April didn’t give the situation much thought. But then the curtain had been pulled back. People she thought loved her were monsters. Her brothers, thugs at best, murderers at worst. That would have shocked her on its own. But her mother… That was the worst of it. She’d always shown April love, in her judgmental, passive-aggressive way. April had never thought she was a wonderful person or anything, most of her flaws were right on the surface, but the coldness that was at her core, April had missed that. She’d assumed that everyone she was related to had a baseline ability to love, that she was loved. Until she had to really take a hard look at them, not just over the months of house imprisonment, but in that police station later. File after file of corruption, smuggling, trafficking, theft, violence. These people couldn’t have loved her. You couldn’t do all that and clock off at five, go home to your family, and be a normal human. You just couldn’t. April couldn’t anyway. That’s why she’d been forced to betray them. For Uncle Johnny, for Aunt Jane, for everyone who’d suffered at their hands. It didn’t matter what the price had been, April had paid it because someone with the last name Gardener should.

  But that price wasn’t something she could fully comprehend at the time, she realised later. It was more than just having to hide. It was being rootless, cut off. Orphaned. Until she’d found Sophie, she’d never thought she could feel safe with someone again.

  April looked at Sophie’s sweet, concerned face. She took both of her hands in hers and pulled them to her chest. ‘I will talk about all that, I promise. But not today. Today is about a new start. I don’t want to taint it.’

  Sophie gave her a kind smile. ‘OK, if that’s how you feel. But I want you to know, no matter what I think of them, I don’t think it about you. You’re a good person, April. I can’t believe I ever doubted that.’

  April stood quickly and started lumbering the case off the bed, turning her face away from Sophie. ‘Thank you,’ she mumbled quietly. She had an idea that Sophie knew she was trying not to cry at her words. She really hoped she’d just give her a minute to deal with it, rather than trying to hug or anything like that. But Sophie got it. ‘I just need to double-check the fridge. Don’t want Becky to find any rotting crap in there,’ she said as she ran a brief hand over April’s back and left.

  Once she’d gone, April sat back down and took a deep breath. Sophie was right. She was going to have to talk about all this one day. Worse, she was going to have to think about it, let herself feel things she didn’t want to feel. But not today. Today was a good day.

  She had a look around the bedroom, just in case she’d missed something. But it was
bare. She stuck her head under the bed to be thorough, and she heard something downstairs. It sounded like glass breaking. She jumped up from the bed and went to the top of the stairs. ‘Everything OK?’ she asked. There was no reply. April felt her stomach constrict with sudden nerves. She walked slowly down the stairs. Sophie wasn’t in the living room. Heart in her throat, April crept toward the kitchen.

  ‘I’m a clumsy twat,’ Sophie said from the floor as she cleaned up the shattered remains of a drinking glass.

  April took a breath and admonished herself for being so panicky. ‘How did you do that?’ she asked once she felt like her voice would come out normally.