Girl in Love

by Quinn, Caisey

  Kylie took a second to gage her own reaction. She wondered if it would hurt Steven’s feelings if she said zero. “Egh. Depends I guess.”

  “On?”

  “If it’s your favorite one you’re leaving me and our three illegitimate kids for or just the one with the nice ass.”

  Steven chuckled and she breathed a sigh of relief. Things with him were so…easy. She totally understood the lure of friends with benefits.

  But after last night, she couldn’t deny that Lulu was right. All the tatted-up sexy brooding rock stars in the world couldn’t hold a candle to the arrogant, tight-jean-wearing smartass she couldn’t seem to force her heart to move on from.

  “So, uh, did I interrupt something last night? I know I’ve been kind of a shitty friend lately, but sometimes I think it might be best if everyone else just got out of the way and let you and Corbin fight to the death.”

  “Not really. I mean, kind of. But it was for the best. Sometimes things escalate quickly between me and him, even though neither of us would be ready for the fallout.”

  “You still have feelings for him?” Steven didn’t look hurt or worried. He looked mildly amused and intrigued by what was probably a ridiculous concept in his mind. “Even after everything?”

  Kylie shrugged. “It never really felt optional, you know?”

  “Ah. Well, in that case, I’m going to go see if I can find a Tailgate Twin to ease my wounded pride. And maybe I’ll go try on some nut huggers and shake my ass around town a bit. See if that works for me as well as it does for him.”

  “You’re an idiot.” Kylie was still laughing when he left. Despite the residual pain she felt from Darla’s talk show media circus, she was excited about tonight’s show. She hoped Rae and Claire Ann were coming so she could finally talk to them about everything. Especially Rae.

  After the Lily Taite Cell-Phone-Gate scandal, Hannah had gotten Kylie a new number. She hadn’t had time to let everyone know the new number yet. Kylie had ignored all of Rae’s messages, mostly because she never knew what to say. And it hurt, talking to Trace’s sister. It reminded her of a future and of a family she’d wanted so badly and would never have.

  But Steven’s honesty had reminded her of the person she used to be. The girl who spoke her mind no matter what. She had to find a way to stop avoiding people and her feelings. She knew the dangers. Loving people meant risking letting them destroy you. She knew. She’d been destroyed a time or two.

  But keeping them out, shutting herself off from everyone and pretending not to care, well, that just wasn’t really working so well for her either.

  She went back to her room and perused some of the lyrics she and Steven had written the night before. She was halfway through reading the words to a song she knew she’d never sing when she realized what she’d done.

  After getting all emotional about Trace having a woman in his room, which turned out not to be his room—or his woman for that matter—she’d let Steven sleep in hers. Granted, nothing had happened. But the door had been shut and there was no way Trace could’ve known for sure either way.

  And he’d been the one to comfort her about the whole Darla thing. Her stomach sank and the nausea hit. There was no denying it.

  She owed Trace Corbin an apology.

  “CLAIRE ANN, I need to get on back to Encore Park. Kylie gets a little crazed if I’m late for soundcheck.”

  The coffee shop where they’d met for breakfast was crowded. His sister propped her elbows on the table and sighed. “Oh, so we’re worried about what makes Kylie happy now, are we?”

  “Come on, Claire Bear. You know I’ve always been worried about that. Just like I worry about what makes you and Rae happy.” He shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. But it was the first time in a long time he’d admitted how he felt about her out loud.

  “Trace, do you ever stop to think about what makes you happy?”

  He didn’t answer right away. He stared down into his half-empty cup. He didn’t even like the taste of coffee really. Just used it for the much needed caffeine.

  “Music makes me happy,” he finally answered. “Knowing the people I care about are taken care of makes me happy. Is that so wrong?”

  “No, I just worry—”

  “We’ve been over this. Stop worrying about me. I’m fine.” He pulled his worn- out trucker hat off of the table, glanced at the faded Yeti logo, and slid it back on his head. “Tour’s going as good as can be expected. No one’s died. No one’s been arrested. And no one’s pregnant—that I know of.” He winked at his sister who returned his grin with an annoyed sigh.

  “Well, in that case, I kind of need to talk to you about something. Two somethings actually. One is kind of…er, not good. But the other one makes me happy. I’m just worried it’s going to make you unhappy.”

  “Let’s hear it. Whatever it is, get it out. I’m personally about to explode from holding things in all the time. So go for it.” He had an uneasy feeling about both things she was about to tell him. Her forehead was creased and her eyes looked tired. Too tired for a happy, healthy thirty-year-old woman.

  His sister ran her finger around the rim of the empty coffee cup in her hands several times before meeting his gaze. She took a deep breath and spoke in a hurried rush.

  “I’m worried about Rae. I think she’s doing more partying than studying and she won’t tell me her grades. I don’t think Mom is even checking in with her and it’s bothering her more than she lets on. I’m pretty sure the last few times we talked she was three sheets to the wind.”

  Damn. He’d had a feeling from how quickly she always rushed off the phone with him that she might be getting the full freshman experience at college. “Okay, I’ll talk to her.”

  Claire Ann bit her lip. “Yeah, that’s the thing. I don’t think either of us will make much difference because we’re just nagging older siblings. And Trace, you trying to tell her to take it easy on the partying is like—”

  “The pot calling the kettle black. I get it.”

  “Like it or not, she looks you up online every now and then. So, um, I was kind of wondering if you could ask Kylie to talk to her. Just maybe get her to say a few things about how much your drinking hurt her and how important it is to stay focused and reach your goals. That kind of thing.”

  Trace gave her an exaggerated nod. “Sure. I’ll interrupt her and her cheating piece of shit boyfriend’s next make-out session and ask if she wouldn’t mind giving my little sister a pep talk. No problem.”

  “Her boyfriend cheats on her?” His sister’s eyes filled with surprise.

  Trace lowered his. He hadn’t meant to blurt Kylie’s business out like that.

  “If Kylie Ryans can’t even find a decent man, what hope is there for the rest of us?” she muttered under her breath. As soon as she realized what she’d said, her head snapped up and she reached across the table to touch his arm. “Crap. I didn’t mean it like that. You are a decent man. You’re more than a decent man. I just meant—”

  “It’s fine. I know what you meant. I’m not going to start crying in my coffee over here. Even though it does taste like motor oil.”

  She laughed and then glanced down at the contents of his cup. “Ugh, that’s because you don’t know how to doctor it up. Cream and sugar, little brother. It works wonders.”

  “Yeah, yeah. I’ve always preferred everything straight up.” Liquor, coffee, pain. He managed to force his face into an expression of nonchalance for his sister’s benefit. “So what was the other thing? The one that makes you happy?”

  Her eyes clouded over briefly and he wondered if she wasn’t going to tell him after all. But then the hint of a smile playing on her lips spread into a huge grin.

  “I met someone, Trace. Someone I care about. A lot. And he cares about me, too.”

  Trace arched a brow. In his entire life, his sister had never been one to date much. She’d been so busy with him and Rae while they were growing up that she’d never had much time for bo
yfriends. A small part of him wondered sometimes if she preferred women. Which he would’ve been fine with. He truly did want her to be happy. She deserved it more than anyone he knew.

  “That so? Well, when do I get to meet him?”

  He might have imagined it, but it looked like she’d cringed.

  “Um, so I wanted to talk to you about that. He travels a lot for work and he’s kind of a little bit older than me. I’m really hoping you won’t be weird about it.”

  “How much older?”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Remind me. How old was Kylie when you two met?”

  Trace snorted. “Touché, big sister. But I’ll have you know, she was a legal adult.”

  “As am I, little brother. And try to keep in mind, I’m the one in this family who makes levelheaded decisions. And you know I’d never do anything to hurt—”

  Whatever else she was about to add was interrupted by Trace’s phone vibrating on the table between them.

  “It’s Pauly,” Trace said, glancing at the screen.

  “What?” His sister’s voice raised a few octaves and her eyes were wide with what looked like panic.

  “Calling me,” he answered slowly, eyeing her warily as he stood and grabbed his phone. “Probably to tell me to get my ass back to the park for rehearsal. Listen, tell your guy I want to meet him as soon as possible. Bring Rae to the show tonight and I’ll see if I can get Kylie to talk to her. It’ll all be fine.”

  With a kiss on the top of her head, he walked out the door.

  KYLIE FINISHED her soundcheck and scanned the area backstage for Trace. She didn’t see him anywhere.

  A few crew members were radioing on walkie-talkies and requesting his presence as well. She’d hoped they’d have a few minutes to talk so she could tell him the truth and apologize for the night before. The possibility that Steven being in her room the night before might have sent Trace straight to a bottle had her on edge.

  She wanted to get a few things out in the open before either of them hurt the other any more than they already had.

  It was time to stop hiding behind her pretend boyfriend.

  “He’s here,” she heard one of the security guys say. She whirled around in the direction the voice had come from.

  From across the open area backstage, she saw him getting out of an SUV. He was smiling broader than she could remember seeing lately. There was a determined set to his jaw. Memories of trailing kisses along that same perfect jawline had her slightly off balance.

  Her heart began to race and she licked her lips as she walked to the front of the platform. She wondered if her knees were going weak because she hadn’t eaten much or if it was something else.

  Something else grinned when he saw her watching him from up on the stage.

  “Hey, pretty girl,” he greeted her. She didn’t miss the way his eyes lingered on her bare legs when he pulled off his sunglasses.

  “Hey yourself.” All thoughts of what she’d wanted to talk to him about flew right out of her head the instant he’d spoken. There was a familiar heat in his eyes that reminded her of the first time they’d made love. It was effectively scrambling her brain.

  She took a deep breath in hopes of snapping out of whatever weird Trace trance she was in.

  “Come on, Corbin. We’re wasting daylight here,” she heard Mike Brennen say.

  Trace looked over his shoulder.

  “Trace,” she called out as he walked toward where his band was setting up.

  He turned with a confident smirk on his handsome face. “What can I do for you, Kylie Lou?”

  Nothing I can say in polite company. She had no idea what had her suddenly so off-center. She wiped her sweaty palms on her cutoff shorts. “Um, can we talk? Later, maybe?”

  “Sure thing. Meet me on the bus after?” He nodded at the stage, so she assumed he meant after his soundcheck.

  “Okay.”

  His gaze burned into hers and her entire body warmed from the inside out. When it became too hot for her to handle, she looked away.

  She knew something was shifting between them. She couldn’t explain it if her life had depended on it. But she could feel it.

  KYLIE HADN’T paid much attention to the outside of the buses before. She’d sort of purposely avoided looking at them when she could help it. But the larger-than-life image of her and Trace standing back to back next to the title of the song they’d written together what seemed like a million years ago was becoming impossible to ignore. Much like the man in the picture was.

  She didn’t know how bad the storm that was Trace Corbin was going to be this time. All she knew was that it was coming. What terrified her most was that she knew the precautions she should take, knew there were ways to avoid it. She just couldn’t seem to make herself hunker down and hide this time.

  Her heart and her head were at war as she waited for Lulu to join her on the bus and help her get ready.

  On one hand, she wanted to be honest with Trace, with Steven—with everyone.

  On the other, she wanted to keep her already scarred heart locked away where it would stay safe.

  But the way he’d looked at her moments ago, he was changing the game. They’d both had walls up. Or she had them up and he’d respected them. She’d thought it was for the best. But she hadn’t felt as alive as she did right that second since…since he walked away from her a year ago.

  She closed her eyes. Remembering the pain helped keep her sane. It kept her from losing control and throwing herself into his arms. Besides, his arms belonged to someone else now. Or did they?

  She wondered if Gretchen was at all concerned about them being on tour together. She’d heard Trace on the phone with her a few times. He always stepped away to take her calls. But it never sounded like they were professing their love or even arguing for that matter. Mostly, the few tidbits she’d overheard sounded like business talk. She could’ve sworn she’d heard him saying things about building permits.

  Feeling overjoyed at the fact that she hadn’t yet overheard them making plans to meet up or for Gretchen to catch a show, she wanted to slap herself. It was dangerous and stupid to be this invested in his relationship. If Gretchen did join them at some point, Kylie knew damn well she’d be bunking in a roost on a different bus.

  My, how the tables have turned, she thought to herself as she hopped up and sat on the kitchen counter. It wasn’t too awfully long ago that she was the girlfriend visiting him on his tour with Gretchen. And yet, in some ways, it felt like a lifetime ago.

  She leaned back on the counter as she decided that no matter how painful the outcome might be, she was going to tell Trace there wasn’t anything going on with her and Steven. And she was going to ask him point blank, straight-faced with no tears or sobbing nonsense, what exactly was going on with him and Gretchen Gibson.

  She wasn’t sure how long she spent lost in thought, but when the noise from Trace’s soundcheck went quiet, she snapped out of it.

  Just before she could work herself into a full-blown panic attack over the fact that he would be back any minute so they could talk, Lulu burst onto the bus.

  “I have a surprise!”

  Kylie nearly jumped out of her skin. “You startled the piss out of me, Lu!”

  “Sorry, but look who I found!”

  Before Kylie could even begin to guess, Mia Montgomery and Lily Taite bounded onto the bus behind her.

  Lily squealed and hugged her like they hadn’t seen each other in a hundred years.

  “Hey, Lil. Lose anything lately?”

  She pulled back and gave Kylie an apologetic grimace. “Kylie, I am sooo sorry about that. I heard you got tons of prank phone calls.”

  Mia grinned at her. “Oklahoma probably liked all the attention.”

  Kylie nodded. “Oh, I did. Lots of heavy breathers and dirty talkers. My favorites.”

  “Speaking of heavy breathing and dirty talking, have you and Mr. Hotpants got it on yet?”

  “Lily!”

  L
ulu and Mia cracked up laughing while Kylie gaped at them.

  “I’m starting to think I might be on the wrong bus,” Trace said as he ascended the steps.

  “Sweet baby Jesus,” Kylie muttered. Mortification swept over her. She was pretty sure he knew they’d been talking about him.

  “Well if it isn’t Mr. Hotpants himself,” Mia said, giving him a quick hug.

  If he hadn’t known before, he did now.

  Kylie couldn’t bring herself to look at him directly as the other girls chatted with him. When she did meet his eyes, they were dark and hooded. The warning in his look confused her. Until she realized she was still sitting on the countertop.

  They’d had a few bouts of making out and more on a similar countertop. She felt her face heat with the realization, and she was pretty certain he noticed.

  “Talk later then?” he finally asked her as he headed back to his room.

  “Um, yeah. Sounds good.”

  When he was out of sight, she returned her attention to her visitors. Who were all looking at her suspiciously.

  “No, they haven’t done it yet,” Mia said, side-eying her before turning to Lily. “But they’re getting there.”

  “Shut up,” Kylie whisper-yelled at her.

  Mia smirked at her. But then she suddenly looked aghast for a brief second.

  “Ryans, you ready?” Steven poked his head onto the bus.

  Kylie checked the time on her phone. It was barely an hour until showtime and she had a few changes to the set list she wanted to run through once more with the band.

  “Crap. No. Just a sec. I’ll be right there.”

  Once he was gone, Kylie glanced back at Mia. She seemed to be working awfully hard to keep her even expression in place.

  “I didn’t know he was touring with you,” Mia said quietly.

  Kylie tried to fight off her guilt. She hadn’t mentioned it to Mia for a few reasons. Mainly because she hadn’t had time to, and also because she still secretly wondered if Mia knew Steven had feelings for her—whatever kind of feelings he was capable of. She was the main reason his band was taking a breather, after all. But he was her friend, too, and she didn’t want to go blabbing his secrets.