Different Senses

by Ann Somerville

  He shoved his chair back. “Don’t be ridiculous. This is Gafur Kawildin. We travelled together. A very annoying companion.”

  “I’m sure he’ll be delighted to hear that,” Captain Largosen said. “Sergeant, would you care to...?”

  “Shardul, we danced together at the governor’s ball last year, and the press thought we were a couple. You threatened to call a press conference to announce our engagement.”

  He leaned back, staring intently at me. “Javen...no. How...?”

  “A lot of surgery, a voice box modulator, and acting,” I said. “Looks like it passes,” I said to the captain.

  “So this was just a game for your purposes,” Shardul snarled at Largosen. “I really do have better things to do, you realise.”

  “Sri Shardul, please calm down. Your visit this morning is useful for more than one reason. As it happened, yes, it suited us to have someone who knows Sergeant Ythen so very well, see him in his disguise. But you needed to see him now and get used to the transformation, and I also need to brief you both about moving this plan forward. First of all, Sri Shardul, be kind enough to report on the situation with Sri Sanjeev.”

  Shardul treated us all to a death glare before he responded. “He continues to see me as an ally, but hasn’t offered me any confidential information. My feeling is that he won’t unless I do. He’s no fool.”

  “Agreed. In three days, we’re going to raid a warehouse on Dutinte Street. You will tell him about it and report this tip has come from your lover, Gafur Kawildin.”

  “Lover?” Shardul’s voice rose to a near-squeak in shock.

  “Now wait a minute,” I said, running over Shardul’s surprise. “You never said anything about us posing as lovers.”

  “Plans change,” Captain Largosen said without a sign of apology. “It will lend verisimilitude and explain why Sri Shardul has access to such sensitive information. A mere friend might be suspected. A lover, much less so.”

  A lesser man would have shrivelled under the force of Shardul’s scorn. “And how will I explain a previously unsuspected lover to him? Or anyone enquiring?”

  “Sri Shardul, I have been enquiring. Your sexual liaisons are conducted with extreme discretion. Your name has not been publicly linked with anyone other than the sergeant in at least eight years, yet you have not been celibate, have you?” Shardul shook his head, lips pursed with aggravation. I didn’t blame him. “So the fact no one has seen your new lover with you, won’t be a surprise. You don’t have to act as if you’re in love, of course. That would be too much of a stretch.”

  “Thank you,” I said sourly. I could have killed him for this. Did he have any idea how close to the bone he’d come with this idea? “I don’t see it as necessary—”

  “Your opinion wasn’t asked for, sergeant.”

  “Nor was mine,” Shardul said, “but I agree with Javen. This is ridiculous. I never agreed to this.”

  “We’re not asking you to actually sleep with him, just to say you are. Come, come, Sri Shardul. Lives are being lost and you cavil at a tiny white lie?”

  Shardul managed to hold in the insults I could practically see on his forehead, but his lips shook with the effort. I jumped in before he lost control.

  “Sir, the more lies we tell, the harder it will be to keep them all straight.”

  “One lie, sergeant, and I’m sure remembering whether or not you two are sleeping together won’t be difficult. I don’t intend to waste time on further discussion. Our objective is to win a meeting between Sri Sanjeev and you as soon as possible. I’m not interested in scruples at this point. Sri Shardul, did you have anything else to say to the sergeant?”

  “No.” His blue eyes pinned me, revulsion and confusion pouring off him as he scanned the unfamiliar landscape of my features. He hated my new face. So did I. “Am I done?”

  “Yes, you may leave. I’ve arranged transport. Thank you for coming. I’ll send you the precise information to pass to Sri Sanjeev. Remember the aim is for Sanjeev to request a meeting with the sergeant.”

  I wanted to talk to Shardul, but the captain was clearly in no mood to allow it. Anyway, Shardul was too pissed off for rationality. Hopefully when he calmed down....

  And when I did....

  Damn Captain Largosen. How many more humiliations was this scheme of his going to dump on our heads?

  The captain looked at me coolly as the door closed behind Shardul. “Perhaps you should refresh your knowledge of the chain of command, sergeant.”

  “I’m sorry, sir. I was taken by surprise.”

  “It’s likely to happen again, so you should be ready for it. I don’t dismiss your opinion or knowledge, but there is a time and a place. That was neither.”

  “Yes, sir.” Go fuck yourself. Bloody military.

  He grunted. “Now you and Kawildin will spend the day together. You’ll work with a voice coach to perfect mannerisms and so on, and Kawildin will familiarise you with his new residence and routine. This is your last chance to do so. If your friend does his job properly, you could be meeting Sri Sanjeev within a week. Clearly your physical disguise is as close to perfect as we could wish. It’s up to you to make the rest of the act credible.”

  “Sir.”

  “Well, off you go, sergeant. Kawildin is still in your room.”

  Chapter 6

  Two days later, I moved to a safe house—an apartment, actually—with enclosed entrances and exits. I would enter and leave only inside a vehicle with mirrored windows, and make no contact with any neighbours. Captain Largosen told me I’d be wheeled out as necessary, and otherwise, as far as the world was concerned, I wouldn’t exist—a creepy turn of phrase that did nothing to quell my nerves.

  At least Mum and Dad could now call at will. Tara and the family had arrived safely on Kelon and Yashi’s treatment had begun. That was all the news they had, but I was glad to have it. Mum had also gone to the trouble of finding out how friends like Kirin were doing, just so she could pass it on to me, and had even called Madan to ask how the office was coping. My alleged presence on Kelon gave her a perfect excuse, but I was surprised, and quite touched that she’d done that. Maybe it was a nice distraction from worrying about Dad. I was still grateful.

  Shardul could also call at will, but he hadn’t. I wasn’t allowed to call him. I desperately wanted to talk this all out with him, and share my feelings about this unwanted charade we had to play, but he didn’t feel the same way, apparently. Maybe it bothered me a lot more than it bothered him. I wanted to know, that was all.

  Three days after I moved in, I got the call from Largosen just as I was heading to bed, bored and frustrated with the inaction. “Sergeant? Sri Sanjeev wants to meet you tomorrow.”

  “Uh, great. When and where?”

  “Breakfast at his house. Sri Shardul will take you there.”

  “That doesn’t give us much time to talk first.”

  “I’m afraid not, but I’ve seen you two working. You’ll be fine taking cues from him. The main thing is that you are to make it clear that you’ll be happy to tip him off on further crucial developments, out of resentment towards the Kelons, and, er, affection for Sri Shardul.”

  Bastard. “Yes, sir.”

  “Fine. You’ll be collected at six and dropped downtown. Sri Shardul will pick you up and take you to this address.” He read out details of a house in a slightly upmarket area on the other side of the river—not all that far from Madan’s place, in fact. “On your return, take a taxi to the staff car park at the police station, and you’ll be collected from there. I don’t need to remind you how critical this meeting is.”

  “No, sir.”

  “Good luck. We’ll speak afterwards.”

  Of course he’d also be listening in through the transmitter-recorder in my jaw implant. “Good night, sir.”

  Shardul should have called me to tell me about this. Was he pissed or rattled? The journey from the city centre to Sanjeev’s house would take ten minutes, max. Not nea
rly long enough for a proper briefing, and nowhere near enough to talk through his feelings about my face. But who was I kidding? I was the last person Shardul would talk to about anything so personal. The fact he hadn’t called was proof of that. I had to let it go.

  I was becoming an insomniac on this case. I got maybe two hours’ sleep that night, and was wide-awake when my ride came. The driver dropped me off downtown, and thirty seconds’ later, Shardul’s auto pulled over and the door opened for me.

  I slid into the passenger seat. “Thanks for the lift.”

  Shardul didn’t look at me as he closed the door and drove off. “Wasn’t my idea. You should know that one of our people shot a police officer last night. Killed her.”

  “Cursed insanity.” I hadn’t looked at the news feed. I’d been wound up enough as it was. “Anyone arrested?”

  “Yes. I wanted you to have time to switch your reaction from what you would do to what Gafur would do, if Sanjeev mentions it.”

  “Guy’s an ex-cop. Difficult to know what’s the best line. Could anyone be shitty enough to be glad at a fellow officer being killed?”

  He glanced at me. “In this case, Sanjeev will expect you to be. I’ve painted you as quite the hater of all things Kelon.”

  “Just like you.”

  “Indeed.”

  “Including me?”

  “Not here, Gafur.” He gestured at my face. “The transmitter is working well, I presume?”

  I’d forgotten, even with the signal booster sitting in my pocket. “I guess so. Anything else I need to know?”

  “We spent last night together.”

  “And was it good?”

  “I’ve had better.”

  I’d have laughed but he wasn’t smiling. “Tell me about Sanjeev.”

  “He hates Kelons, but is prepared to do business with them. He’s not political, strangely, but is well-informed.”

  “Strange type for an activist.”

  “Indeed. He’s secretive, and doesn’t appreciate questions about his affairs, even from me. Frankly I’m surprised he’s prepared to meet you, but apparently his contacts were very grateful for the tip-off.”

  “Exactly what Captain Largosen wanted.”

  “Of course. Please don’t...engage in sickening endearments or gestures in front of him. I’m not prepared to carry out that kind of charade.”

  “I wouldn’t ask it. You know I wouldn't.”

  He didn’t reply, his eyes fixed firmly on the road. I looked away, not wanting to see in his face the emotions I felt from him—again, strangely muted. “Are you doing something to my empathy?” I asked after a minute or so of uncomfortable silence.

  “No. How could I?”

  He was lying. Shardul had never lied to me before. But I couldn’t ask him about it because Captain Largosen was listening.

  We drove over Pada bridge and turned towards Darliw, Shardul’s tension growing with every metre of the journey. “We’ll be fine. We make a good double act, according to the captain.”

  The barked laugh that greeted my remark was welcome, but too short. “I’m out of practice.”

  I bit my tongue before I could say the hurtful, “Whose fault is that?” It wasn’t anyone’s fault. It was just a fact.

  The auto pulled into the drive of a nice but unflashy house, a kind lived in by thousands of families in the region, and utterly unremarkable. “He couldn’t afford better?”

  “He is udawatha. We don’t believe in ostentation for its own sake, remember?”

  “Um, yeah.” One of the Seeker’s first guiding principles, in fact.

  “You can’t afford that kind of mistake,” he snapped, eyes flashing. “Pay attention.” He opened the auto’s doors. “He’s devout. He’ll notice if you slip up.”

  “Okay.”

  Sanjeev opened the door as we walked up to it. I’d only seen still images of the man. In person, he looked ordinary, normal—not like a supplier of terrorists at all. A middle-class man in a middle-class area, completely Kelon in appearance except for the high cheekbones which only hinted at possible mixed-race origins. “Blessing of the spirit, Shardul.” He bowed to me. “And to you, Gafur.”

  “Blessings on us all,” I replied formally, bowing back. I sensed his approval. First test passed.

  “Come in. Thank you for coming over at this time. I don’t sleep much these days.” He led us into a living room that bore plentiful signs of his unseen wife and children—photoscreens, amateur art, ornaments too ugly to display except for sentimental reasons. The occasional table bore a tray of samosas and chai. “Please, sit. Shardul, I’ll let you serve Gafur. I hope I didn’t drag you out of bed much earlier than normal.”

  “He keeps me awake,” I said with a small leer at Shardul.

  “I’m sure he does,” Sanjeev said, grinning at us. “Shardul has told me a lot about you.” He said something in Nihani which I couldn’t make out.

  I held up my hands in apology. “Sorry. I’m not fluent, though I’m learning. If I’d been allowed to be brought up here, instead of on Kelon....” I made a disgusted face. “I’d rather I was mute than be forced to speak their tongue.”

  “I know the feeling. Still, it helps you pass. That and your looks.”

  I bent over, and removed the brown-coloured lens from my right eye, revealing the green intraocular implant. “With a little help. My work colleagues have no idea I’m Nihan.”

  He laughed. “Brilliant. But your family history must be on their records?”

  “My mother’s race wasn’t recorded, and my father was, for obvious reasons, not keen to reveal it. If the chuma are too ignorant to see the truth, who am I to educate them?”

  “Very true. Useful to be able to move between the two groups.”

  “They exploit us. Why shouldn’t I exploit them?”

  “Exactly, eh, Shardul?”

  Shardul smiled tightly. “Yes, I agree. Besides, Gafur only has the ability to deceive them because of their racism. You can imagine how they would squeal if one of their women’s children was taken by one of our men to raise as Nihan. I despise the Kelon race, I truly do.”

  Sanjeev poured himself some chai and sat back, cradling the cup. “Forgive me, Shardul, but I do have to ask you about something I recently learned. Apparently you used to be very close to the governor’s son, Javen.”

  Shardul sneered a bit too convincingly. “‘Used to be’, indeed.”

  “But—”

  “The man deceived me. The family on the governor’s side are actually mixed-race, though they’ll never admit it. Javen pretended to be interested in, even proud of that heritage, and persuaded me that he wanted to promote our welfare and work with us. He had me completely fooled.” He laughed bitterly, and had I not sensed his emotions before, would have been completely convinced how much he hated ‘Javen’. “But it was all a ruse. Despite the fact he knew how much I loathe the Kelons and would never take one as a lover, he pressed his unwanted attentions on me at a point when I was in distress and desperate, and....” He pursed his lips. “I don’t want to describe it.”

  Sanjeev was properly horrified. “He...raped you?”

  “Not for want of trying. I threw him out and threatened him with revealing all to his father. I knew the police would never take action.”

  My hands were clenched on my thighs from shock at how Shardul could mine such a painful episode to build my cover. I hoped Sanjeev took it for outrage on behalf of my lover. “I’m sorry to bring this up,” Sanjeev said. He was genuinely regretful, my empathy confirmed.

  Shardul shrugged. “It’s in the past, and the man has gone back to Kelon. Good riddance. If we could just send the rest of them back, Medele would once again be the paradise the Seeker promised.”

  “Maybe it’ll happen. Gafur, the information you gave Shardul saved a lot of innocent people from ending up in Kelon jail cells.”

  “Good. That’s what I wanted.”

  “Would you pass on more information, for the same r
eason?”

  “I would. I don’t trust them to dispense the justice they’re so proud of. Not after Denge got away with murder.”

  “I feel the same. But you don’t have much loyalty to your former police colleagues, I have to say.”

  I curled my lip in feigned disgust. “The colleagues who let me be run over by one of their own vehicles, and then took away my badge because of the injuries they caused? The colleagues who make tasteless jokes about the banis and expect me to join in? They taught me to hate, Sanjeev. I wasn’t born like this. I know the Seeker teaches we should not hold hate in our hearts, but he didn’t have to deal with the Kelon. He had no experience with racism, blessed though he is forever.”

  “This is sadly true,” Shardul murmured. I almost jumped when he spoke. “His teachings have nothing to say in guidance for our situation here in Medele, but how could he have anticipated invaders of this kind, destroying what we have achieved?”

  “So we must find our own path in the Spirit, don’t you think?” Sanjeev said. “Rid this land of the intruders, or at least remove their influence.”

  “I pray every day for that,” I said. “Let’s be blunt, Sanjeev. You’re trying to make that happen, and I want to help.”

  “I’m doing nothing,” he retorted. “Be careful what you say and to whom you say it, Gafur. These are dangerous times for our kind.”

  “I’m sorry. My anger made me careless. I’d be out there throwing firebombs myself, but that doesn’t change enough things fast enough.”

  “Not on its own, no.” He was more cautious of me now. Bugger. “But there are those who believe they can make things change, really change.”

  “I want to help. When Denge walked free, I vowed to do whatever I could, didn’t I, Shardul? I swore to you I would.”

  “Yes, you did.” I gave him a fake tender smile, and hoped he’d forgive me for it.

  “Very worthy,” Sanjeev said. I waited for him to tell me more of what he wanted, but he only poured himself a second cup of chai and offered us the pot. “I presume you need to leave for work soon.”

  “In a bit, yes.”

  “If you hear of anything which can help our people, I can also presume you’ll pass that to Shardul?”