“Javen, can you see that?”
I wiped my eyes. “That light? Can we get there?” The light was high up, like it was on raised ground, and I hoped that might mean a police station, or possibly a clinic.
“Yes, but what if they’re friendly with Dandak?”
I considered. He had a point, but we were wet, cold, and in my case, injured. I didn’t know how long it was until daylight, and once the sun came up, we’d be sitting targets. “We have to risk it, I think.”
“All right.” He dipped the oars and began to row with a will.
The light looked deceptively close, the rain and water distorting perception. However long Shardul rowed, we seemed to come no closer, and I wondered if it was all an optical illusion, until suddenly we had bumped up against a bank. Another boat close by was tethered at a small mooring pier. We tied ours to the mooring, and pushed the boat under the pier to keep it hidden.
“That doesn’t look like a police station,” Shardul said.
I blinked away the rain and stared up at the building. “It’s a clinic.”
“Yes, I see now. Safe?”
“You tell me, Shardul. They’re your people.”
He hesitated. “Chances are fair.”
“Good enough for me. Help me up the stairs, will you?”
He gripped my arm and together we made it up the slippery steps. I was pretty much done now. Even if this place turned out to be Dandak’s centre of operations, I almost couldn’t care, I was so cold and sore, and sick. I wouldn’t risk it on Shardul’s behalf, but for my own, I didn’t have anything else to pull out.
The sign on the clinic door said the place was closed, but for emergencies, we could go to the doctor’s home behind it, so we stumbled along the unlit path, and banged on the door of the house. No response. I slid down the wall I was leaning on. “Leave me,” I said. “Take the boat. I can wait here until morning.”
“Not in this lifetime, Javen Ythen.” Even through the concussion fog, I registered he was really pissed. He bashed the door again. “Wake up!”
“Shhh!”
He shot me a look, and raised his hand to hit the door. It opened before he could make contact.
“No need for violence, young man.”
I stared at the old guy in the doorway, and grinned. “Doc Nihar. Long time no see.”
Chapter 9
“Do I know you, son?”
Shardul helped me stand. “Yes, you do. I’m Javen Ythen,” I said, throwing caution to the winds. “We met a few years ago over the suicide of Sapna Aditi Janak.”
“I remember Sapna’s death and Sri Ythen quite well, young man, and I never forget a face. That’s not Javen Ythen’s face.”
“I know. It’s complicated, doc.”
“Can we come in, sir?” Shardul said. “Javen’s hurt, and we’re both very cold.”
The doc frowned at us, but I sensed no fear. “Yes, yes, if you were going to murder me, I suppose you would have done it already.”
He took us into a cosy living room, and told us to strip. He handed Shardul two blankets, and pointed at me. “Sit down before you fall down. You...what’s your name?”
“Shardul, Nihar-ji.”
“Well, Shardul, there are towels in the closet along the hall. Dry him off, then yourself. Don’t wander around.”
“No, we won’t. But, Nihar-ji, no one can know we’re here. It’s a matter of life and death.”
“Hmmm. Maybe so. Let me get some hot food and drink for you both, and then you can tell me why Javen Ythen is wearing someone else’s face.”
I’d collapsed onto an armchair while he was ordering Shardul about, and concentrated on warming up. The blanket was thick, but I wasn’t generating enough heat to make it worth having yet. Shardul returned with a towel wound nattily around his head, and more towels in a pile in his hands. He knelt and set to drying my naked body off, as dispassionately as he had the night before.
“Why do I never get to enjoy this?” I muttered.
“Hush. Do you trust him?”
I roused a little and realised he was talking about the doctor. “Yeah. He’s good people. Met on that case I did for Jyoti. The doc, the local cop, couple of farmers around here, I’d trust. The rest, no idea.”
“The people here will be closely related, and interconnected. We have to assume any of them may betray us out of loyalty to their family or connections.”
“But not the doc. He’s straight.”
“I believe you.”
“We have to tell him the truth. We need his help.”
“Agreed.” His manner in drying me off was too brusque to be erotic, but I was too cold to care. Dry now, and with a towel around my head, I felt closer to human, though still exhausted and desperately wanting to sleep.
I didn’t watch him quickly dry off, because I didn’t need the temptation. By the time Doc Nihar returned, Shardul was wrapped in towels and a blanket, managing, who knew how, to look almost as dapper as he did in his regular clothes.
The doc set down his tray. “Feeling better, gentlemen? Shardul, you get some of this chai and soup down you. I need to look at this fellow’s face. One of you can explain while I work.”
“You,” I said, pointing at Shardul. I was out of brain for explanations.
The doctor worked quietly as he painfully probed my cheek and the other injuries. Shardul recounted events and the lead up to our kidnapping as only he could—concisely, dryly and undramatically. Doc Nihar listened at first sceptically, but finally accepting the truth of what Shardul told him.
“You’re that lawyer from Hegal, aren’t you? I’ve seen you on news reports. Don’t think you’d lie about something like this, risk your reputation. I can see the cheek implant too, so that checks out. Javen, what I don’t know is if the real bone underneath is damaged. I need a scan.”
“Can it wait? I’m done in.”
“Sure it can.”
He kindly brought a mug of chai and another of soup to me, and watched as I devoured both. I hadn’t eaten in over a day, and though my stomach protested a little, I told it to shut up. I needed the food, and the warmth.
He injected me with antibiotics and a mild pain reliever, and once I’d finished eating, he numbed, cleaned and redressed the cheek injury. “You’ll need that sorted out if you don’t want it to scar, but it should heal up all right. Make sure you have it checked by your own doctor when you get home.”
Satisfied I wasn’t going to die there, he turned to Shardul. “Shardul-ji, I’m going to set you to nurse him. Make sure he eats, keeps warm, gets some sleep. I can’t do anything for your concussion, Javen, except prescribe rest for a few days.”
“We can’t stay that long. We have to get out of here, and we really daren’t let anyone in this area find us.”
He grunted. “I figured. Never heard of this Dandak fellow, but he sounds like nasty work. Any idea where that storeroom was?”
“We drifted for at least an hour, possibly more,” Shardul said. “But I have no idea how fast we travelled. We could have even come from within this settlement.”
“Can’t see folk around here treating with that kind, but I’ve been wrong before. All right. You can have my daughters’ room, top of the stairs. Bathroom opposite. Stay out of sight if anyone comes here for help. Shardul, in the cupboard next to the linen closet, you’ll find some old clothes I keep for patients staying in the clinic. I think there’s a couple of pairs of pyjamas that should fit. You boys get some rest tonight, and in the morning, we’ll figure out what to do with you.”
“The boat. It’ll lead—”
Doc Nihar held up his hand to quiet Shardul. “Ahead of you. I’ll set it free and it can drift away. I won’t tell a soul, I swear.” He touched Shardul’s shoulder. “You look as worn out as he does. Go up to the bedroom, first on the right. Get some rest. I’m across the hall if you need anything.”
He disappeared to attend to the boat. Shardul found the old clothes, and helped me dress. The s
oft dry cloth was wonderful against my chilled skin, but Shardul handling me felt better. Yes, I was shameless and desperate. I blamed the head injury.
The stairs were almost too much. My legs had turned to jelly and I just couldn’t. “Maybe I could sleep down here,” I said despairingly.
“Don’t be silly. Here.” He put my less sore arm around his neck, and his arm solidly around my waist. “Not far now, after everything else.”
He carried me. I’d like to pretend I did some of the work, but the truth was, he carried me up those bloody stairs, and how, I didn’t know because he was as wrecked as me. When we reached the top, I groaned in relief. “Shardul, I love you. I want to marry you and have a dozen of your beautiful red-haired children.”
He chuckled. “And wouldn’t that delight our esteemed governor. This is the room, I think.”
This was a modern house by the standards of Demultan Flats, and even had electric lighting. But the room we entered was old and drab, clearly unused in some time, and decorated in dull patterns and colours. Two beds stood there, calling me to them. Shardul helped me to the nearest one, and shoved me carefully under the covers.
“I’m dead and gone to your heaven.”
“We don’t believe in heaven, foolish guko.” He laid his hand on my forehead. “You feel a little warm.”
“I still feel cold.” I pulled the blankets tight around me. “Was nice last night,” I mumbled.
He hesitated. “I...could join you if you prefer it.”
“Not fair on you.”
“You overestimate your attractiveness, Javen. I...would feel better if I was close at hand.”
I shoved over, and patted the bed. “Come on.”
He turned out the light and slid gracefully in beside me. I sighed as his warmth settled against me. “I could get used to this,” I said, without thinking. He went quiet and I realised my mistake. “Sorry. I misspoke.”
“No, it’s all right. I, too, could get used to this.” He inhaled. “I have so many regrets over that night.”
“You don’t need to. I don’t hold it against you.”
“I know. That makes it worse for me. I am a very great coward, and ashamed.”
I put my arm across him and tugged him close. “None of that. You’re not, and I’m only alive because of you. This isn’t the time to get into it anyway. Get some sleep.”
So softly that I thought I’d imagined it, his lips brushed my jaw. “Geurili, Javen.”
Stunned into silence, I couldn't return the wish. He tucked himself tight against me, and I stroked his back, hoping it would convey what I wanted to say. What did his gesture mean? What did he want it to mean? I felt his tenderness and concern, but more than that?
My empathy was sod all use where Shardul was concerned. We had to talk. One day, we might even have time to.
Goodnight, Shardul love. I might never say that out loud.
We had bigger problems than that right now.
~~~~~~~~
I woke to find Shardul holding me tight, his face almost nose to nose with mine. I pulled back to look at him, and the slight movement woke him. I found myself staring into those ever-brilliant blue eyes. “Sanity, I love you,” I whispered.
He kissed me. Not the gentle buss of the night before, but something more forceful, unequivocal. The feel of him warmed me, but not as much as the sweet affection coming off him like a glow. I cupped his face, wondering how I could get this lucky in this crappy situation, and smiled.
But then, like the dropping of a castle gate, everything slammed shut—his emotions, his kiss, his expression. He pulled away with a jerk. “I’m sorry.” He got out of bed, and found the blanket he’d used last night, wrapping himself in it like woolly armour.
“Shardul, it’s okay.”
“I’ll see if I can find the doctor. It’s late, and I’m sure you’re hungry.”
He rushed out, leaving me open-mouthed and cold inside. What the fuck just happened?
Maybe he thought I was someone else. Maybe he’d forgotten what colour I was. Maybe he’d had a brain spasm and then remembered who he was with.
None of these possibilities made me feel any better.
I had no reason to get up, and no wish to. I pulled the blankets over my head and wished for a fatal illness or something. I was so fucking tired of wanting what I couldn’t have, and never being able to stop wanting it.
Someone came into the room a few minutes later. I almost hoped it was Dandak so he could shoot me.
“Javen?”
The doc. “I’m awake,” I said, pulling the covers down. “Everything all right?”
“All quiet. Your Shardul is showering. I wanted to see how you were. How’s the headache? Any vision problems?”
He did his tests on my sight, and had me stand to check my balance. “No sign of a brain bleed at least. I’d be happier if you could stay for a few days, and I want to do that scan this morning.”
“I’m fine with the scan,” I said, sitting on the bed, “but we have to get back to the city. It’s not safe here for us, and if we stay, you’re at risk.”
“I’ll be safe, young man. No one would dare lay a finger on me. Besides, the wet season is generally quiet, unless there are babies due, which there aren’t. It’s when I catch up on the latest medical discoveries.” He sat on the bed next to me. “Any ideas how we can get you out of here?”
“The problem is that someone leaked my identity to Dandak, and that can only be someone inside the security forces. So my contacts there are out, but my friends and family will be watched. Is Constable Girilal still around?”
“No, unfortunately. He was promoted and moved to the station at Jirnin Rocks. The new fellow’s a bit of a stickler for the rules. If I tell him about you, he’ll be bleating it to the Hegal force in ten minutes.”
“Damn. If we could just get to the maglev port....”
“Give me some time to think about it. I might be able to find you some transport. You really shouldn’t leave today. They’ll be looking in all the obvious places.”
“You’ve given this some thought.”
He grinned. “I’ve read a crime book or two in my time. You and Shardul should lie low in the house, rest, get your breath back. If I have to deal with a patient, then they stay in the clinic.”
“No medic? No house keeper?”
“Only need the medic for patients, and I don’t have any, officially. No housekeeper in the wet season. I mostly shift for myself. Have done for a long time.”
He was a lonely widower and probably welcomed our company, however strange and however brief. A day, even two, might be wise, but no longer, even for his sake.
He gestured towards the other bed, very obviously unslept in. “Didn’t realise you fellows were together like that.”
“We're not.” He raised his eyebrows at my forceful tone. “I was cold and he helped warm me up. He’s Nihan, and hates Kelons. However I look now, I still am one.”
“Well, that’s a shame. Sorry to put my foot in it.” He patted my knee. “Feel up to breakfast?”
My stomach growled, and he laughed. “I could eat. A shower would be nice first.”
Shardul returned at that moment, and avoided my eyes. “I feel much better for that.”
Doc Nihar grinned. “Good. If you want to help Javen—”
“I’m fine,” I said, as Shardul opened his mouth to reply. “Why don’t you help Doc Nihar with breakfast while I clean up?”
“Are you sure?” the doc asked. “You were a little unsteady before.”
“I’m fine,” I repeated. “I’ll shower and come straight back in here.”
“As you wish,” Shardul said, still not looking directly at me. “Nihar-ji, I would be glad to help.”
“All right.” The doc gave us both a puzzled look, and I sensed his confusion at the apparent sudden hostility. “Take it slow, Javen. If you’re not out in ten minutes, I’m coming in.”
“Fair enough.”
“There is a clean towel in there for you,” Shardul said, carefully stepping out of my path so we couldn’t accidentally touch.
Laying it on a bit thick, aren’t you, Shardul-ji? What had I done to bring this on? Telling him how I felt wasn’t a crime, surely? And he already knew, or should have.
I should never have agreed to this mad scheme in the first place. It was hard on Shardul, hard on me, and had exposed him to possibly fatal danger. The fact that someone in the security forces had had a hand in that exposure made it even more inexcusable.
The water washed away a little of my headache, but not the dull depression and sense of failure, both professional and personal. We had achieved nothing by making contact with Dandak and had probably made the security situation worse. As for the situation between Shardul and me...that was nothing but a disaster too.
What I wouldn’t have given to be able to talk to Yashi or Tara right now. Or even Kirin. Though talking to Kirin about Shardul was a refined form of masochism I tried to avoid.
The water was now cool, and since I’d had enough of being cold, I stepped out and dried off. The mirror revealed an unfamiliar face covered in gruesome bruising down the left side, though a neat dressing covered the worst injury. I hoped the doc had something I could use to hide all this, or I’d be scaring people when I went out in public again.
“I’m out and okay,” I shouted down the stairs, and heard a faint “Thank you” in response. The effort of showering had taken more out of me than I liked and the bed was inviting. It was still warm from my—our—bodies. I couldn’t smell Shardul, but I couldn’t forget how it had felt to lie next to him, to kiss him. Damn him for that, giving me a taste of what I could never have for real.
I forced my mind onto the problem of how we could get out of here. I had to assume all my friends and relations were monitored, as was my real account. Same for Shardul, I guessed. We might just have to risk it. I wanted to keep under the scanners until I found out how deep the rot went.
Different Senses Page 57
