Shardul came in a little while later with a tray of food. I sat up. “Can you get a message to Kirin without it obviously coming from you or me?” I kept my tone entirely business-like.
“I think so. You think we’re under surveillance?”
“I think our escape will have upset a few people and until I work out who told Dandak who I am, I want to exercise maximum caution.”
“We’ll need help.”
“We’ll have it.”
He nodded, setting the tray down. “The doctor believes he can get us to the maglev station. There’s a farmer he says you know—Nikhil?”
Jyoti’s cousin’s widower. “Yeah, I’d trust him. But he won’t recognise me, and I don’t want him to know who I am. He’s not udawatha, by the way. He’s had a rough time at the hands of your people.”
“Ah. Nihar-ji will try to persuade him, I suspect. And then we will need a way to get from the maglev port to Hegal. You want Sri Nel to help?”
“I want Kirin to help, yes. Cursed insanity, Shardul, you don’t want me. Don’t be snotty about someone who once did.”
He straightened. “I’m not...I.... Please, eat up. You need the strength.”
I rolled my eyes and picked up some of the upma on my fork. I concentrated on eating, determined not to let him get to me. I thought he’d leave, but I heard the other bed shift slightly. He must have sat down. His choice.
The food was tasty, filling and wonderfully warm. I felt closer to human now, though I intended to follow Doc Nihar’s advice and rest as much as I could.
I jumped a little when Shardul spoke after long minutes of awkward silence. “Javen, I told you I have regrets over that night. I said hurtful things to someone I esteem very highly, and can’t offer any reparation for that hurt. It’s a sin that weighs on my soul very heavily.”
“Did you mean what you said?” I said, poking at the upma and not looking at him. “That I’m the wrong colour? That you don’t want me?”
No reply. I pursed my lips and pretended to be fascinated by the chai in my mug. I knew I’d said we needed to talk, but now we were, I didn’t think it was such a great idea. “Just forget I—”
“No, I didn’t mean it. Not all of it. You are the wrong colour—”
I sneered. “And you call my kind racist.”
“Please, let me finish. My association with a Kelon and guko as a friend has caused many of my people significant unease. Were that relationship to...intensify...I would have to consider that. I haven’t yet had the courage to do so. I am a coward. I told you.”
“You want it to intensify?”
He stared at me. “You know the answer to that.”
“I don’t. I can’t read you. Why can’t I read you?”
He shifted and for the first time, actually looked guilty instead of just miserable. “Having an empath as a close relative is a mixed blessing, as you can imagine. When I was younger, and being gifted academically, a lot of hopes were vested in me—still are. I was under extreme pressure to be the perfect child, the perfect son, the perfect student.”
“Same for me and Yashi, but we could share the burden.”
“I couldn’t. My sisters are also bright, but much younger. In my early teens, my mother had health problems and needed assistance looking after us, so I went to stay with my aunt Roshni for nearly a year while my mother recovered. But even though Roshni-ji was, and is, very kind and wise, I felt under constant surveillance, an intolerable strain in addition to the expectations upon me. It led to...a regrettable period of rebellion.”
“Yeah? I can’t really see you as a rebel.”
He smiled briefly. “You’d be surprised. Fortunately, she realised what was behind it, and began to teach me some meditative techniques and mental control which would allow me to hide, as it were, from someone with her talent. I became quite adept, but as I grew older and more confident, I found her ability less troublesome, and now I rarely bother to hide from her.”
“But I’m different.”
“Yes. As I realised your feelings...when I understood the danger I was in...I revived my earlier skill.”
“You’re hiding from me?”
“As I said, I’m a coward. But not so much of a coward that I would reject you as Sri Nel did, just to avoid dealing with your empathy.”
“Not everyone has a helpful aunt who can teach them how to trick us, Shardul. I wish you’d knock it off. It feels weird.”
He shook his head. “Trust me, it would be far worse to be overwhelmed by all I feel towards you. The emotions are not always positive.”
“No kidding. First time I met you, you gave me a migraine because you hated me so much. And you knew what you were doing.”
He bowed a little. “I confess I did. It was low of me.”
“It was really shitty.”
“Yes, it was. Javen, I’m not indifferent to you. Far from it. You know this, surely.”
“Say it out loud, Shardul.”
He actually rocked a little back and forth with stress. “I can’t. Not yet. Maybe never. But I don’t hate you, or despise you, and your race doesn’t affect my feelings, only my actions. Can that be enough until we are out of this situation?”
“Are you going to kiss me again and push me away? Because you’re killing me. It’s too much, on top of everything else right now.” Despite my determination to stay calm, I felt tears pushing at my eyelids. I rubbed my face as if I was tired—which I was—and discreetly wiped my eyes at the same time.
I didn’t fool him. “I know,” he said quietly. “That’s why I said I was sorry. I don’t want to hurt you. I just....”
“Get tired of being strong and selfless?”
“Yes.”
“Me too. When we get past all this, how about we book a week off so we can be weak and selfish and sort this out?”
His unguarded pleasure, more than his beautiful smile, made his answer sweet as honey. “I’ll find the time if you find the place.”
“Deal. So can we stop skulking around each other now?”
“Yes, please do let’s stop. How do you feel?”
“Better. Great food.”
“He’s a good cook. I suppose he’s had to learn.”
My appetite wasn’t up to Doc Nihar’s generosity. Shardul pinched the rest of the upma while I sipped the chai and wondered if I could ask for something to deal with the lingering headache. Maybe more rest would be better.
I set the mug down on the tray. “Think I’ll try and catch some more kip. Is Nikhil coming over or what?”
“Later, if Nihar-ji can persuade him. I’ll make contact with my people discreetly. Do you want Kirin to call here?”
“Sanity, no. It’ll all have to be indirect. And don’t mention my name to anyone, even him, okay? It’ll send a red flag up however we’re being watched.”
“Understood. I thought I would try to sketch Dandak. Perhaps Nihar-ji well recognise him.”
“Worth a try. I doubt he was using his real name. It’s going to be a boring day for you.”
“Nihar-ji has an excellent library, and says I can use his account to research.” He lifted the tray. “Will you be all right if I’m downstairs?”
I waved him away. “I’m fine. Just have a bastard of a headache but that’s normal. I’ll call if I need anything.”
“Fine.” But then he set the tray down, leaned in, and gently kissed my forehead, before leaning his against mine. “I missed you,” he murmured.
I cupped his cheek, and stroked it with my thumb. “Me too. Can we not do that shit again?”
“I will do my best to avoid it. Rest, Javen.” He kissed me again, and took the tray away.
Even the headache couldn’t kill my good mood after that.
Chapter 10
They let me sleep the day away, apart from the doctor bringing up the portable scan unit to confirm what he already thought, which was that I didn’t have a more serious brain injury. He redressed the cheek injury and warned me again t
o make sure I had someone look at it in Hegal. It was the least of my concerns though, because we had to get back to Hegal before I could seek any medical advice there.
Shardul popped in and out a few times, bringing chai, and checking on me. Nice to have someone who would, especially when it was him. I gathered he and the doc had hit it off, and Shardul had been mining the doc’s memory to discover who our abductors were. No luck, unfortunately.
Nikhil had agreed to take us by boat to his cousin’s house outside the flood zone, and his cousin would drive us to the maglev port. Apparently Doc Nihar’s word was good enough for Nikhil, and he hadn’t asked too many questions about why and who. The doc had come up with a simple way of hiding my injuries and my appearance—he planned to cover me with bandages and put my arm in a fake sling for added authenticity. Shardul would have to rely on a three-day-growth of stubble and covering his hair. If someone was actively looking for us, it wouldn’t fool them, but it might deter attention from us as a distinctive couple, at least.
One of the few discussions I’d been involved in was exactly when we should leave. Nightfall would give us cover, but look suspicious, while daytime would be more normal but expose us to more curiosity. In the end, we decided on the morning. Doc Nihar had only told Nikhil we were two travellers who’d been caught out by the heavy rain, and needed help going south. Shardul had made contact circuitously with Kirin, who would pick us up at the other end of the maglev line. Kirin had transferred funds in the same roundabout fashion for the doc to give us a prepaid, anonymous paycard which we could use to buy tickets without being traced. Then, I figured, we’d be safe. A lot would depend on whether Kirin would help us further, and if my team agreed to get involved. I wasn’t sure I wanted to ask them but without their help, I couldn’t do much but scuttle back to my parents. It would leave Shardul exposed and the traitor untrapped, and that was not acceptable.
The headache and dizziness persisted, but I could manage with the help of painkillers pretty well, now I’d had plenty of rest and enough to eat and drink. The two of them insisted on me staying upstairs and in bed, and I didn’t feel like arguing. When Shardul came up to go to bed, he didn’t even ask where I wanted him to sleep. He slid in beside me and put his arms around me. “Just friends, huh,” I whispered.
“I can’t have you relapse into hypothermia, can I?” He spoiled the deadpan delivery with a little chuckle at the end.
“Certainly not. Thank you.”
He merely tightened his arms around me. Did I dare let myself get used to this? Maybe I had to learn to take what I could get, while I could, and stop worrying about the future.
Yeah, right. Not in my nature. But he felt so good next to me.
Over breakfast, Doc Nihar lectured me about definitely not exerting myself for a week or so, and generally fussed. When we finished eating, he had fun dressing me up like the victim of some horrendous bomb blast, covering the most bruised eye and side of my face, and all my hair with bandages, wrapping my left hand and putting it in a sling. “How does he look?” he asked Shardul.
“Pitiable.”
I stuck my tongue out at him, and the doc laughed. “Exactly what I was after. You better cover up too, Shardul. Nikhil should be here soon.”
We wore the most non-descript clothes the doc had on hand, and with his hair covered and clothes deliberately dishevelled, Shardul looked almost ordinary. Almost. Nothing could hide the intelligence in his eyes, at least not from me. The doc was satisfied. “It’s raining so you’ll have a perfect excuse to keep under cover.”
“You’re sure Sri Nikhil won’t mention us to the police here, or other people?” Shardul asked.
“He’s no love for the police or the new constable, and he stays clear of most folk. Thought he might change when he married again, but his wife’s from out of the area, and they keep to themselves.”
“He married again? Good for him. Children?”
“One on the way, end of the year. We talk most weeks. Still grieves for the lass he lost. He took a long time to get past it.”
“He would,” I said. I hoped his new relationship went sweeter than the first.
Twenty minutes later, Nikhil came into the house, clearly a regular enough visitor he didn’t need to knock. He acknowledged the doc with a nod, looked in sharp assessment at the two of us, but passed over my features without a glimmer of recognition. “You two ready?”
“Yes, Sri Nikhil,” Shardul said politely, hoisting the sack of food and water the doc had given us. “Thank you for this.”
“No problem. You going to be okay in a boat?” He peered at me.
I nodded, and Shardul answered for me, assuring Nikhil I’d be fine. He grunted and indicated we should follow, tipping his cap at the doc.
It was pelting down, so we huddled under the canvas shelter at the front of the boat, while Nikhil, in oilskins, managed the little boat’s engine, unconcerned by the pelting rain. It gave us the perfect reason not to talk, but I doubted he wanted to. Shardul was obviously Nihani and assumed to be udawatha, and so no friend to Nikhil or his new family. I wondered that he’d not moved away as he’d thought to do, but maybe he couldn’t bear to leave the area where his beloved first wife was buried. Or maybe he’d not been able to afford it, simple as that.
It took an hour or so to reach the jetty on the river near Nikhil’s cousin’s house. He left us in a wooden shelter while he walked to his cousin’s place, and the two of them returned in an elderly truck that barely looked capable of driving a kilometre, let alone eighty to the maglev port. “Talib’ll sort you out now,” Nikhil said.
“Thank you for the ride. Blessings on you and your family,” Shardul said.
“Keep your damn blessings,” he snapped. “Go on, I haven’t got all day.”
“Good luck,” I said as I passed him. “With everything.”
He scowled at me. Never mind. I’d send Doc Nihar a gift for the new baby when I could reoccupy my old identity, and give him permission to tell Nikhil who we were. Right now, anonymity was worth a small show of bad temper.
Talib was chattier than his cousin, but fortunately he didn’t expect much in the way of reply except the odd “uh huh” and “yes”, which Shardul supplied. I kept quiet in the back, and tried to doze, though the old vehicle’s suspension and the lousy roads made that damn difficult.
An hour and a half later we bought our tickets at the maglev port, and ate the doc’s chapatis while we waited for the next departure. Shardul made me take another pill, and forbade me to move an unnecessary step.
“I’m not dying.”
“Good. Let’s keep it that way. Besides, someone so seriously injured should look helpless, don’t you think?”
“Point.”
He smirked, and I refrained from punching him. He was in too good a mood considering the mess we were in. But then, so was I.
Once on the maglev we could really relax. The carriage was half empty, and no one sat close enough to us to overhear our conversation. No one would start any shit here, not with the security and cameras on board. Maybe Dandak wasn’t looking for us, but that wasn’t likely. More likely was that he had no idea where the hell we’d gone and, with the boat we’d pinched now in police custody, no clues. He could have no way of knowing I had local connections.... “Crap.”
“What?” Shardul sat up. “Problem?”
“What if Dandak finds out who helped me?”
“How would he? Unless Nikhil or his cousin gossips.”
“The cousin might. I can’t think of a damn thing I can do to protect the doc or them.”
“I can’t see any benefit to him in reprisal. He might discover how we got away, but by then it will be moot.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“The doctor understood the risks, Javen. He’s far from being a fool. Calm down. What’s our next step? The captain will be looking for you too.”
“Yeah, and I’m more worried about him, until I can work out just how corrupt he is.”
/>
“You assume it’s him. It could be the commander, or anyone under his command.”
“Reoda’s an old friend of Dad’s and even more conservative. Can’t see him supporting an indigenous uprising. You met him.”
“I did,” he said and gave a delicate shudder. “But our people are barely represented in the military and none at high level.”
“A real-life ‘Gafur’?”
“Hmmm. I doubt it. At least, I doubt I would not have heard rumours.”
“Good point. I’m pissed as hell about this, Shardul.”
“I assure you, so am I. We should go to your father, I think.”
I’d considered it. “Thing is, he’ll have to toss it back to the security forces to investigate, and we have no idea how far this goes. What if I was the target? What if Dad is? I’d like to check a few things out before we do that.”
“As you see fit. I trust your judgement.”
Did he have any idea how much I loved hearing him saying that? Beloved reason, I had such a crush on him, it was sickening.
“What’s so amusing?” he asked.
“Almost everything, and nothing. We need a hideout. Any ideas?”
The maglev journey took two hours. We tossed ideas back and forth about where we could hide, but the main difficulty was not being able to use our phone and media accounts without that pinpointing our enquiries and location. “There’s no reason you have to stay in hiding,” I said. “You can just say I was lost in the flood. Then you can get back to work. They have no reason to arrest you.”
“And that would stop them, I’m sure. But I could at least communicate with your father and Sri Nel...Kirin...openly.”
“You’d have a perfect excuse to be chasing Dandak and that kind of thing too.”
He grew thoughtful. I let him mull it over. He’d be exposing himself, but he’d also be protected through that exposure. The more people who knew he was around, the more difficult it would be to whisk him off to some hidden prison. Especially if Dad knew he was back—and what the true situation was.
Different Senses Page 58
