Dave Cameron and the Extraterrestrial

by V Bertolaccini

  While Cameron finally got up to go to the bar one of his feet seemed to go astray and caught the side of a wall and he flew forward and through the air and landed on his arms, and he saw that he had embarrassingly did it in front of a group of woman at a table and he launched into doing a perfect somersault across the floor, to cover it up being stupid, even though he already looked stupid by his standards, and, to his surprise, they clapped at it and he wondered why he could do a somersault as he had no knowledge of ever doing so, which lead him back to wondering what all the missing information in his head was!

  Cameron suddenly had an idea and wondered if there was anyone in the bar that knew him and he could question! He was desperate to investigate ways of getting his true identity!

  He wandered around and found a pensioner slumped at the end of the bar with a whisky and realized that he had seen him there on many occasions and was clearly a local, and had been visiting there for some time, and he sat near to him, avoiding going to near him as he did not want to put him off.

  After a few minutes he started to realize that he was drunk and after making attempts to talk to him and not even getting a reply he realized he was far drunker than he had realized and he was not even able to communicate.

  It annoyed him more than anything and he realized that it could be the only opportunity he might ever have to question someone there, as they would surely move the army camp away in the near future, and he would be put faraway and too far to visit the place.

  He had to do something! He had to find something that would get him what he wanted! He needed to!

  It surprised him that at the same time as him looking for something the pensioner was collapsing in a heap over the bar and even started falling over and off his stool, and the barman rushed around and stopped him and propped him back in his seat, and Cameron decided to take action and help him further and he immediately started helping the barman shift him against the bar so he would not fall.

  “I wouldn’t worry about him so much!” the barman announced, seeing Cameron’s worried face. “He’s always in here, and gets like this most of the time!”

  Cameron nodded, looking more happier that he was a local that did hang about the bar and that he surely had seen him with the three soldiers drinking there, and he started thinking of ways to question him.

  Who the hell was he? Why would none of these blasted soldiers give him anything on his identity! No matter what he did they refused to say anything and it was driving him crazy!

  So when the pensioner started slipping off his stool again, and the barman left, he moved up to him and started telling that man how drunk he was and that he should take him home and he decided to take him out the door to a taxi, which he had seen parked outside!

  Yet after trying to get the man up and to the door, with him collapsing all over the place and over the floor, he got annoyed and started wrestling with him and lifting him up and he started trying to stop him and he started pulling him across the floor by the legs, but he awoke more and started clutching part of the bar to stop him, and he grew more annoyed with the pensioner and his behavior and immediately broke his grip on the bar and pulled him away from it.

  He gripped his legs and dragged him across the floor, while looking about making sure that nobody interrupted him, but the man kept getting a grip of places and objects and he furiously tugged him away, forgetting that he was to get him to give him information on his identity, with nothing else in his drunk mind except getting him to the taxi.

  For quarter of an hour he dragged and pulled at him, from when started getting him to the door, and once he was finally outside he thought his mission would be completed but he continued grabbing things like drainpipes stopping him, and it had clearly rained and he ended pulling him through puddles and mud, and he pulled a drain at the side of the road up, and he finally got him to the taxi where he explained to the driver that he was a relative and had to get him home in his drunken state, while the man shouted and swore, and they got him in the back of the taxi and locked the door, and Cameron rushed into the front seat with the driver.

  Cameron realized that he never knew the man and he never had his address and that he had wasted his time, and he wondered why he had not asked the barman as he surely was a local man.

  To his surprise the taxi raced away without the driver asking for his address and he sat for along time waiting for the outcome.

  To his surprise the taxi took him straight to his house and Cameron paid him more for his help and he drove away, leaving Cameron considering what to do.

  The problem was still there and the man refused to budge or talk to him when he questioned him and he kept showing him his face features so he would recognize him, and the pensioner sat slumped on the ground staring up at him as though he thought he was crazy, and no matter what he said he never replied.

  Deep down he was starting to realize the truth and he never knew him and that the plan was a disaster and he would not be able to do anything again.

  He grew annoyed with him and dragged him along the pavement by the legs, broke his grip on a lamppost, and pulled him up his pathway kicking and screaming, with him pulling up chunks of concrete from the pathway as he yanked him in jerks along it and dumped him in a heap on his doorstep, and rolled the pensioner around in a ball until his face was visible to show to his daughter, who came over to the door.

  “Thanks very much!” she answered, when he told her of the incredible deed he had done her.

  Yet as he turned to walk away, she moaned back, “But what happened to his wheelchair?”

  He immediately ignored her and rushed away, and rain came blasting down, and as they vanished behind him he watched the pensioner waving his fist at him, and he wondered over and over why he had not used the taxi to get back, instead of having to walk through pouring rain, soaked through, tired, and he realized that the taxi driver had actually known him!

  Chapter 15

  The Dream

  During the night Cameron’s dreams went into overdrive and it was beyond belief that he could dream such things and began as a fight for survival with his body constantly altering to stop it being destroyed by a colossal infernal!

  He seemed to escape by darting out of it into a dark forest.

  The dark wood was unrecognizable even though he did not know why, as it looked normally, but he enjoyed it and his body seemed to reform to it, and he considered what could have occurred and what was happening, and what his mind was generating for him.

  It was strange and it seemed to adapt to the surrounding environment it had set itself in and he realized he was now some form of creature lurking in the long shadows of an unknown wood, and he realized he had to be a werewolf and that he had been forming into it and he treated it like his body’s hideous reaction and revenge on him for his treatment of it and his hangover, and he watched shadows of his formation like a monster demon wolf creeping about and he contemplated the vast dangers to his survival for no reason, and the contemplation of how he could survive without the technology that he had, and he wondered if it was his body’s way of informing him of something!

  He realized his body had gone crazy and he considered opening his eyes and waking but he was so tired he could not even be bothered doing that, and realized that he would have to have more rest and it was perhaps what his body wanted him to know.

  He had sensations of being trapped out on a strange celestial fantasy wood with unknown forms and realized as a werewolf creature he had to fight to survive and he fought to escape from the vicinity.

  While he shifted monster shadow shapes of him shifted strangely through the wood and he watched a small black cat shift near him, and he examined it, and wondered if he was going to eat the thing and his body decided to alter his appearance to be more like it and his colossal monster form altered to it.

  His strange giant cat shadows shifted in the moonlight, probing into the dark, and he shifted on like a cat and studied everything in his surroundi
ngs, expecting the worst hideous encounters to be lurking there.

  While he propelled himself on he adapted and formed more powerful legs, razor-sharp claws, and creature fangs, and occasionally thick tentacles formed and expanded from his neck and slithered around, and while shifting his head tendrils formed from his ears and shuddered frantically testing the air for signs of dangers and life forms.

  His monstrous cat shapes silhouetted everywhere as he made incredible leaps through trees, further than any other creature, and he sensed distant humans within the wood and realized that the cat formation he had taken took its energy from the consumption of small animals and he decided to wake himself!

  Chapter 16

  The Complaint

  Cameron was tiredly resting on his bed, dreamily falling asleep again, wondering if he could have a similar dream as the night before and examine what happened and wondered if he could alter it to his original self and he might recall his memories of himself.

  He curiously watched a new soldier march in the tent and ask two soldiers something and dreamily march up to him afterwards and stand upright in front him.

  “Malone wants to see you now!” he said firmly, and saluted, and Cameron ignored it and rolled over and sat on the edge of the bed, feeling drowsy.

  Cameron watched him march away and realized he had done something again, and grabbed a bottle of whisky from beside his bed and downed some to try to wake him, and shifted to the door!

  Once in Malone’s tent he realized that he was only slightly annoyed this time, and he examined Cameron’s face and tried not to look surprised about something, and suddenly poured a drink, examined his face from the side of his eyes and gasped, and stopped himself asking him something and looked away.

  “Sit down!” Malone ordered, clearly annoyed now.

  Cameron realized he never had a clue what he wanted him for.

  “Cameron!” Malone eventually whispered annoyed. “What the hell are you doing here?”

  Malone’s staring eyes penetrated deep into his brain trying to grasp his thoughts and looked away.

  “Have I done something!” he inquired, not knowing what it was he meant.

  “There has been a complaint about you again!” he announced loudly, studying him again, seeing if he would react. “This time it’s authentic!”

  “What about?” he gasped, wondering who would complain about soldiers and to them, and he realized that the last complaint might have been made up by him.

  “Some people don’t like you, Cameron!”

  Cameron was humiliated and tried to get what he was going on about and realized he should ask the complainers to tell him and he would try to solve the problem, and grasp what they were going on about! People should stop complaining about nothing, and things they never liked the look of and save it for real things!

  He wondered if he could believe their complaint as he was sure they were talking utter rubbish!

  Malone himself must have more people complaining of him than anyone, especially from the soldiers, and from the things he was responsible for, and he wondered what the hell he was up to.

  “The people of this country could do without you!”

  He stared deep in his eyes again, and looked away disappointed.

  “Did you go to the pub last night and get drunk?” he curiously asked, calming himself.

  “Yeah!” he replied annoyed, and even more annoyed at his persistence in not saying anything. “There were hundreds of people drunk, lying in bushes, and vomiting all over the pavement, and throwing beer cans! The place was totally covered with people drinking and partying, and there were wild orgies in rooms!”

  “Is that all! What else was there? Was there physical action?”

  “Physical action! Yeah! There was this woman playing with her crotch doing a striptease!”

  “That sounds fun! What else?”

  “She gently rubbed her hands rhythmically across her thighs, sensually rubbing oil into her skin, and loosened his pants and pulled them to her knees and started massaging herself!”

  “Rubbing oil!” Malone moaned. “What next?”

  “She continued on going ...”

  “But what the hell has it to do with what I’m talking about ...!” Malone shouted, furiously.

  “Nothing then!”

  “Cameron! This country needs you! And not for you to hang about perverted bars!”

  “What did you want to know if I was there for then?”

  “I was checking if you were there! There was a complaint about you having a fight with a disabled pensioner and dragging him out the bar and rolling him about in puddles ...!”

  “That’s not what happened!”

  “You admit to throwing him about?”

  “Yes!”

  “Apparently Cameron ... You’re a menace to civilization! I ought to do something about you!”

  “What help me clean my head up!”

  Malone bent over holding his head, but only for seconds, and straightened up firmly, and Cameron realized he had put his foot in it again.

  “So you’ve lost your memory! Well, this time I’ll have you checked out!”

  “What about?”

  “It’s your blasted memory!” he screamed.

  “Well then it is about time you told me!”

  “I will! I’m coming to that!” he replied, calming himself.

  Cameron gasped, wondering if he would get it for the crime! What was he on about though? He had not actually committed a crime! Other than take the old drunk home! Was it about something he had done before he had been found in the pool of mud in the field? Was he actually wanted!

  He could not be! He could tell by all the people who knew him that he had not!

  Malone took his official pose and sat studying him, as though a judge ready to sentence him for a crime against humanity and that he would regret it for the rest of his life, and he wondered what he was up to when he never and just sat staring at his face with deep emotions about something, and Cameron wondered what the outcome of it could possible be.

  “You remember what you did after the bar?” he asked, curiously examining him.

  “Yes! I had to walk back here in the end ...”

  “Have you been back to that small roadside wood I asked you not to go near?”

  Cameron just replied that he never, and wondered what he was being accused of there!

  “It was me who saw you climbing down a well in the middle the wood on Floors Road! You had no right to be there!”

  Cameron realized that it was not someone else who complained and that he might have been following him around, and he wondered if had been watching him at the bar!

  “I’m warning you not to do it again and I’m sending you to a doctor to exam your head! If there’s something wrong with your memory or brain we should have it revealed!”

  Cameron realized that he should visit the doctor and have him explain what had happened!

  Chapter 17

  The Doctor

  Cameron had to rush to the doctor’s as he forget the appointment, after Simpson got them drunk in a drinking session lasting hours!

  He sat there considering what would happen if the doctor never accepted him, and realized after thirty minutes of sitting in the silent empty waiting room that he would just get another blasted appointment and marched up to the doctor’s door and knocked, and eventually sat back down and waited!

  After another thirty minutes he grew tired and started to feel all the drink he had consumed.

  He grew impatient and then deep anger at the doctor and his treatment and suddenly leapt on his feet and ran and jumped hard against the doctor’s door, and started shouting at the doctor calling him a bald headed dick, and if he never served him he would report him to the highest officer he could get hold of!

  After fifteen minutes more he ran over and yanked the door open, ready to give him a piece of his mind on his treatment of dedicated hardworking soldiers!

  Yet he se
arched the office, not believing his eyes, realizing the doctor was out for lunch, and was annoyed at him not leaving any sign of it to warn him!

  He decided to wait for his return there, sure that it could not be long after the tremendous wait, and he rushed into the room and banged the door shut and jumped into the doctor’s seat! Put his legs up on his desk, and started swinging the doctor’s stethoscope over his head making loud helicopter sounds.

  He put on the doctor’s white jacket and stood admiring it in a mirror and did a cartwheel across the floor, and was in the middle of doing a handstand on the doctor’s desk, while he did impersonations of a doctor, when a woman yanked open the door!

  He immediately jumped down and sat in his seat, and he pretended to be the doctor and right away told her to undress and put her clothes in the corner to see if she would do it, and was surprised that she did, and he followed through with it and demanded she hurried up!

  She grudgingly removed clothing and when she was standing naked he shifted over and started to stroke her thigh, and asked her, “Do you know what this is for?”

  “Yes!” she moaned. “You’re checking me for any abrasions and dermatological abnormalities?”

  Surprised at her reaction he began to fondle her breasts, and cried, “Do you know what I’m doing now?”

  “Yes!” she moaned firmly. “Your checking for lumps!”

  He firmly embraced her and they rolled over together across the examination table, and lowered themselves onto the floor in lustful mad passion!

  He started removing his trousers, and panted, “Do you know what we’re doing now?”

  “Yes!” she moaned loudly, realizing what she was doing. “You’re making it with the doctor’s wife!”

  She swiftly shifted away and fixed up her clothing and left, and as she left the door gave him a sexy smile.