Perfect Fling

by Carly Phillips

  “Son of a bitch. You’re in love with him,” Jed said at last.

  Erin felt a hot blush cover her cheeks. “He’s a good man. Why can’t you see him for who he really is?” Since she had no intention of baring her soul, her reply was the best she could come up with.

  And it turned the tables back on Jed, whose jaw worked back and forth as he clearly struggled for a reply. “I’ll see him,” he muttered, if somewhat reluctantly.

  It wasn’t an answer to the question Erin had asked, but it was the one she’d come here seeking to begin with. If Jed’s condition weren’t so serious, she’d have done a small dance of joy.

  “Thank you,” she said. Leaning over, she kissed his weathered cheek. “Good luck with the surgery, and I’ll see you on the other side. You’re going to be fine.”

  “I have to be if I want to see that baby you’re carrying,” he said gruffly, his voice raw. And even a little scared.

  At the unexpected realization, Erin’s throat grew tight.

  She managed a nod at Jed. “I’ll send Cole in.”

  As she headed back to the waiting room, Erin hoped her brief glimpse into Jed’s soul, or at least into the frightened heart of the man in the hospital bed, would lead to some kind of détente between Jed and Cole. And as she told Cole his father would talk to him, she prayed that this wasn’t the last chance either man would have to make things right between them.

  • • •

  Cole had approached mob bosses, murderers, and drug dealers with more ease than that with which he faced his father again. The weight of a lifetime—his lifetime—sat on Cole’s shoulders. He knew the old man was disappointed in him, and that truth had permeated every part of Cole’s life from the time he’d been old enough to understand what his father’s constant anger meant. As an adult, he’d reached the point where he was more comfortable pretending to be someone else than he was being himself.

  For a long time he’d blamed Jed for that, but his time back here in Serendipity made him look at things differently. He couldn’t blame his father for who and what he was. But those deep thoughts, though raised because of his father’s serious condition, didn’t need to be dissected now.

  He walked into the room, doing his best to ignore the beeping heart monitor, the IV drip in his dad’s arm, and the way his larger-than-life father seemed to be shriveled up in the hospital bed.

  “Hi,” Cole said stiffly, coming up beside the bed rail.

  “Hi, yourself,” Jed muttered, unable, it seemed, to meet Cole’s gaze.

  “The doctor says they’re taking you to the OR first thing in the morning.”

  Jed nodded. “At least it’ll be before I have time to realize I’m hungry, since they’re not feeding me beforehand.”

  Cole managed a laugh. “Says it could be a long surgery, but he does it all the time.”

  “I won’t know it.”

  Same old gruff Jed, Cole thought. “I’ll be here before they take you down even if you don’t see me.”

  Jed hesitated before answering. He curled his hands around the bars on the side of the bed, his knuckles white. “I appreciate that,” he said at last.

  Cole raised an eyebrow. He’d been expecting Jed to tell him not to bother. He wondered if Erin had read him the riot act on his behavior or whether genuine fear was behind those words. Like most things with his father, Cole suspected he’d never know.

  “Erin’s calling her folks. I’m sure they’ll want to come by tonight and see you before surgery.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “They’re good people. You’re lucky to have them,” he said, meaning it.

  “I don’t deserve them, you mean?”

  Cole raised his hands up in front of him. “Whoa. I didn’t say or imply that. And your doctor said we’re not to go down that road,” he reminded his father.

  Jed groaned, laying his head back against the pillow. “Sorry. Old habits.”

  Sorry?! What alien had invaded his father’s brain?

  “They raised a good daughter,” Jed continued before Cole could reply.

  “Can’t argue with that,” Cole said, not surprised Erin was the one thing they agreed on.

  “Son,” Jed said, suddenly, meeting Cole’s gaze with a hard stare of his own.

  Cole drew a deep breath. “What’s up?” With serious heart surgery looming, Jed could say anything at this point and Cole wouldn’t be surprised.

  “Don’t let the one good thing in your life slip through your fingers the way I did,” Jed said.

  Except that, Cole thought. The old man had taken him off guard. “Dad—”

  “No. I don’t want to have any serious discussions. We’re just going to argue. That’s been our way too long for it to change in the blink of an eye.”

  Which made Cole wonder if Jed meant he wanted it to change . . . eventually.

  Jed reached for the paper cup filled with water and took a long sip. “But remember what I said. Just in case.”

  Cole exhaled a hard breath. No need to ask just in case what. “You’re going to be fine,” he told his father. He opted to focus on his father and not his obvious allusion to Jed’s mother . . . or to Erin.

  Jed didn’t reply. He yawned, though, and Cole took that as his cue. “Get some sleep. I’ll be here when you come out of surgery, and I’ll see you as soon as they let me.”

  His father nodded, and an awkward silence ensued, no doubt thanks to the strain of their having been forced to get along for the last couple of minutes. But Cole had to admit, despite the discomfort between them, it’d been nice talking to Jed knowing no yelling was forthcoming.

  He left the room, and for the first time that he could recall, he prayed—both for Jed to come through surgery and for the chance to rebuild some kind of connection with his father.

  For years, Cole had rejected the idea that he needed anything from Jed Sanders. But faced with the prospect of losing his father, Cole was forced to admit he wanted a relationship with Jed. And he sensed, in a surreal way he didn’t understand, that the key to who he could become lay with the man who’d shaped the person he’d been.

  • • •

  Cole and Erin drove back to Nick’s house in comfortable silence. He didn’t feel the need to discuss what went on in his father’s hospital room, and Erin didn’t ask. She knew from his somewhat calm demeanor that at least there had been no yelling or confrontation, and for that she was grateful.

  She couldn’t remember ever being more exhausted. At the top of the stairs, she turned toward the master bedroom, expecting Cole to head the other way to the room he’d been staying in for the last couple of days.

  “Erin?”

  She turned. “What’s up?”

  “I . . . Never mind.”

  Oh, there was something, she thought, studying him. Weariness was evident in his handsome face and she realized the strain of all they’d gone through, plus Jed, was wearing on them both.

  “Talk to me.” She walked up to where he stood, leaning on the railing.

  He shook his head. “There was nothing specific. I just . . .”

  Erin took a leap. “You don’t want to be alone,” she said, hoping she wasn’t so far off base she’d be mortified when he said she was wrong.

  He exhaled and nodded. Relief shot through her and she held out her hand. She didn’t want to be alone either. As tired as she was, there was nothing sexual in her offer, and she didn’t get the feeling he was looking to cross that line again either. But they shared the same concerns over her safety and over Victoria’s craziness and potential next move, and now they both were worried about Jed. It made sense that they keep each other company while waiting for the morning . . . and for the surgery to come.

  • • •

  Cole didn’t remember the last time he’d been hesitant in asking—or taking what he wanted. But he’d done too much to Erin in a short time to risk hurting her again, so no sooner had he called out her name, he’d rejected the idea of asking
her to stay with him. He was relieved she’d either read him so well or merely wanted the same thing. He was too raw, too emotionally drained, to be alone.

  By silent agreement, they went to her room, Erin disappearing into the bathroom to wash up. Cole stripped off his jeans and T-shirt and settled under the comforter. As soon as he lay back in Erin’s bed, a sense of rightness and peace settled over him, one he didn’t have the strength to think about or fight.

  A few minutes later, she walked out of the bathroom wearing a black lace nightie that hit midthigh. It wasn’t one he’d seen before—it was definitely meant for her new, growing figure. It covered enough to be considered decent, but her breasts were larger now, her cleavage enticing no matter what she wore. And no matter how tired he was, he couldn’t deny the hardening of his groin, or the disappointment that rushed through him as he reminded himself tonight wasn’t about that.

  She paused by the bed and met his gaze.

  “Get in. I won’t bite.”

  She laughed and slipped in. She lay on her side, facing him, and he tried to ignore how much of her breasts were exposed in that moment.

  “You okay?” she asked.

  He shrugged. “I’m numb. So much has happened since this morning, I don’t know what to feel. And we haven’t dealt with the Victoria situation and we can’t just forget she’s out there. Waiting. Plotting.”

  Erin shivered and swallowed hard. “I know. But we can have Sam come to the hospital tomorrow and figure out another plan. If nothing else it’ll be a good way to pass those hours of Jed’s surgery.”

  He propped his head up with one hand. “Good idea.”

  She treated him to the sweet yet somehow intoxicating smile that was uniquely Erin.

  She yawned then, and he was reaching over to shut the light when she squealed.

  He jerked back around. Her hazel eyes were wide and glittered with an emotion he couldn’t name. “Erin?”

  “I think the baby kicked,” she said in utter and complete awe.

  He blinked. That was the last thing he’d expected her to say.

  “Oh! I felt it again. It feels like little flutters from the inside.”

  Her face glowed with excitement, and he couldn’t help but be drawn into the moment along with her. A slow burn of excitement unfurled inside him, as unexpected as it was sweet.

  “Want to feel?”

  The hesitancy in her voice touched him, and he nodded.

  She took his hand and placed it over her stomach. Her skin was soft and smooth to the touch. Her gaze never left his as they waited in anxious silence for movement that never came. Just as he was about to remove his hand, Erin sucked in an excited breath.

  “There! Feel it?” she asked.

  He shook his head, the disappointment stronger than he would have expected.

  She let out a sigh and frowned, an adorable pout, that had him aching to kiss her on those luscious lips. “I was worried about that. The books say sometimes the first kicks are only felt by the mom. It can take a few more weeks until you can feel it from the outside.”

  At which point, he might be long gone. The thought lingered unspoken between them, but Cole didn’t want to ruin the closeness they were sharing. Nor could he tell her what was really going through his mind because he could hardly grasp the enormity of the thought himself. But if he had to be truthful, Cole couldn’t begin to wrap his mind around picking up and leaving Erin or his child behind. Scarier still? Even if she weren’t pregnant, even if he’d spent these weeks protecting just her, Cole knew he would still feel the same way.

  This woman, so capable and independent on the outside, so soft and genuine and giving on the inside, had carved out a place for herself in Cole’s heart. And that was something he’d never believed possible. Given how he lived—not just his job, which kept him isolated from the real world, but his preference to remain that way even when off duty—the concept of love and sharing a life had never crossed his mind.

  For Cole, sex had fulfilled a basic need. Until he caught sight of Erin in a light purple bridesmaid’s dress in Joe’s Bar. She’d forever altered the course of his life. He just didn’t know what to do about his feelings for her and the only life he’d ever known.

  She watched him, her eyes warm and focused on his face as they lay in comfortable silence. His hand remained on her belly and she didn’t seem inclined to ask him to move it, instead pressing it against the small baby bump, practically willing him to feel the kicks.

  “I guess you can turn off the light,” she finally said in a low voice, sounding as disappointed as he was that he hadn’t been able to feel their child.

  He reached over, turned off the lamp, plunging the room into darkness.

  “Are you okay?” she asked him.

  He knew she meant about Jed, not the baby. “Normally I’m pretty accepting about whatever life throws at me, but Jed’s heart attack caught me off guard.” And knocked down every wall he’d erected to protect himself from his father.

  “Hopefully he’ll come through fine,” Erin said. “Then maybe you two will have a chance to repair the relationship.”

  Cole groaned. “Don’t hold your breath for that to happen.” He wasn’t. And he didn’t want her to be hurt when her hope for reconciliation didn’t work out.

  She shifted, obviously trying to get comfortable. “Babies can work miracles,” she said into the darkness. “Or so people say.”

  He didn’t know about babies, but he was starting to believe in Erin. As the minutes ticked by, he listened to her breathing even out. Knowing she was finally falling asleep, Cole ached to pull her into his arms and feel her soft, sleepy body curl into his. He missed her warmth, her smile, her happiness aimed at him.

  It took everything in him to stay on his side of the bed, but he did. Because he’d promised himself he wouldn’t send her mixed messages, and taking advantage of her being there when he needed her would be all kinds of wrong.

  Although wanting to hold her didn’t feel wrong, but instead felt all kinds of right.

  Seventeen

  Erin woke in Cole’s arms, warm, comfortable, and safe, feeling as if she was exactly where she belonged, with the father of her baby and the man she loved. And that was the thought that had her slipping out of bed to shower before he awakened.

  Last night had been a precious gift, one she hadn’t expected, but would always appreciate. They hadn’t had sex, yet they couldn’t have been more intimate if he’d been inside her body. He’d touched her belly, tried to feel their baby kick, had been as invested in the moment as she’d been.

  He hadn’t made a move on her, but she had to admit that if he had, she wouldn’t have resisted or turned him away. She’d have grabbed that one final moment with him, and probably regretted it later. Which was why she hadn’t been the aggressor. Last night was about Cole, his pain and what he needed from her.

  He’d given so much to her these past weeks, putting his life on hold to watch out for her, take care of her, and she was grateful for the chance to give back. She didn’t blame him for not being able to offer more—he’d made no promises. She’d done what she needed to do, tried to see if they could be more, and had come to accept his limitations.

  He might not realize what a special man he was, but Erin did. They’d bonded and that would help them do what was best for their child’s future. But now, Erin had to rebuild her walls and prepare for the time when Cole walked away.

  A couple hours later, Erin sat in the hospital waiting room, staring at the clock on the wall, unable to believe the time could pass so slowly. Even knowing ahead of time how long the wait would be, the seconds, minutes, and hours crawled by. An optimist by nature, Erin believed in her heart that Jed would be fine, and she’d keep believing unless and until the alternative broadsided her. In the meantime, she needed to keep Cole’s mind occupied and off what was going on in that operating room.

  Just when he appeared ready to climb the walls, her brother Sam strode into the room w
ith a Victoria look-alike by his side. Having seen her stalker up close, Erin could definitely see the difference in the twins. There was something off in Victoria’s eyes, while Nicole’s were here and present.

  “Thank you so much for coming,” Erin said, rising from her chair.

  “Any word?” Sam asked.

  Cole’s jaw was set tight.

  “Not yet,” Erin said. “But it’s way too early to expect news. The doctor said it’s a long surgery.”

  Sam nodded in understanding. “Erin, this is Nicole Farnsworth.”

  Erin approached warily. Cole stopped her by snagging her waist. Okay, so he wasn’t any more sure of this woman either. “Nice to meet you,” Erin said.

  Nicole’s smile was awkward, and Erin realized the other woman wasn’t any more comfortable than she was. “I wish I could say the same, but if my sister weren’t making your life miserable, neither of us would be here.”

  Erin admired her candor, and her smile for the other woman grew wider.

  “I’m sorry about your father,” Nicole said to Cole. “Officer Marsden told me why we have to meet here.”

  “Sam. You can call me Sam,” Erin’s brother said, sounding as if he was repeating a refrain.

  “Thanks,” Cole said to Nicole. “Any word? From your sister?”

  She shook her head. “I’m sure the fact that I led you to Victoria’s hideaway didn’t sit well with her.”

  “She can’t know you were the one who told us. It’s not like she told you the location in the first place,” Sam reassured her.

  “I know.” Nicole glanced away. “Look, I wanted to tell you all I’m sorry. I feel awful about everything my sister’s done to you.” She raised her hands toward them, then lowered them again.

  “You aren’t responsible for someone else’s actions, Nicole.” Erin echoed a sentiment she’d said to Cole many times before, and in case he’d forgotten, she stepped closer and slid her hand into his, squeezing him tight as a reminder.

  She glanced up at his handsome face, but his expression remained neutral, his mind, she was sure, in the OR upstairs. And she didn’t blame him.