Second String (In Too Deep #3)

by McMillin, Casey

"Don't be stupid," he said. "She doesn't just look randomly happy. I'm saying she's obviously into you. She looks like she's happy because of you… if that makes any sense."

  I wanted that to be true. I thought it might be true when I was around her, but she kept staying with Jeremy. If what Josh was saying were true, she would've broken up with him.

  Whatever. I had to get over it.

  "She's with him. That's all I know. She's a nice girl, but neither of us were in it for anything long term anyway." That sounded convincing enough. I was actually pretty proud of myself.

  "Bull shit," Josh said. "You're so full of it. I've never seen you like this over a girl and you're trying to act like it's all nothing."

  "It is all nothing," I said. "What am I supposed to do? Make her break up with him so she can be with me?"

  I looked at Josh from across the console, and he just stared back at me as if to say what else, idiot?

  "That's precisely what you do. You go to her and tell her you're her man… that you're not taking no for an answer."

  I took a second to think about what he was saying. I was on the verge of getting all pumped up like it would play out like a scene from a movie, but I had to listen to the voice of reason for a moment. I thought about probable outcomes for a big love profession like that, and truth was, I had no idea how she'd respond. Moreover, did I even want to do that? What if Emily said, "Yes, Ethan! I will leave Needle and be your girlfriend!" Did I want a girlfriend? What would I be getting myself in to if I went to her and told her I loved her? Do I love her? I thought maybe I did. Is love when you want to be with someone and you want no one else to ever be with that someone ever again? I didn't know what I felt, but it was something.

  I'd been silent for a moment, so I let Josh in on my thoughts. "I'm just trying to figure out what I'd do if she said yes."

  "I know that's not your type of thing. I just thought I'd tell you, as a friend, that a good connection is rare."

  "When'd you get so freaking romantic?" I asked. We laughed like it was no big deal, but I took what he was saying to heart. I knew I had something rare with Emily. I knew it because of how much fun I had when I was around her. She wasn't like other girls. She was my girl. Whoa. I think it may have just hit me that Emily Roth is my girl. Josh was right. I was suddenly anxious to come up with a plan to make her know I was the right one.

  I didn't say anything else about it to Josh. Conversation gradually shifted to other topics, and before I knew it we were in San Diego. In spite of where Emily and I stood right then, I knew things between us were far from over.

  I wasn't supposed to have the next Sunday off, but I went to my coach to ask if he wouldn't mind. He agreed because I was making progress with some of the changes we'd made in my stroke, and we were meeting all of our goals. "I wish you wouldn't go traveling across the country every time you have a day off, though," he'd said. I assured him that Los Angeles was hardly across the country, and that I'd be one hundred percent for Monday morning. He was fine with that and even told me to have fun. It was bound to be a good day.

  Now for the real dilemma: What in the world could I do to make Emily know I was the one? Since I wasn't going up to L.A. to fail, I knew I had to do and say the perfect thing to make her understand. My best chance with Emily would have to involve dance. Dance was obviously close to her heart, and I was willing to take any leg up I could get. Los Angeles had more than a few hot spots for dance. I thought I'd take her to a place where we could do a little ballroom and swing. Then, if she was into it (like I knew she would be) I'd take her to the club for some late night action. It would work. I could feel it in my bones. I'd be counting down the days until I could see her again.

  A week seemed like too long. Next Saturday night might as well have been an eternity away. She still had no idea how I really felt about her, and I knew it was jumping the gun on the whole taking care of her thing, but by Monday afternoon I couldn't take it any longer. She was working at the dance studio on Tuesday, so I made arrangements for her car to be picked up and replaced with a rental car while she was there.

  I wanted to buy her a new car, but I was going to have to settle for fixing the old one since she was way too proud to accept a new car. Her old one had to be fixed. There was just no if's and's or but's about it. No matter what ended up going down between Emily and me this weekend, I was having her car fixed. I got the name of a good mechanic from Joel, and made all the necessary arrangements. I sent her a text Tuesday once the wheels were already set in motion.

  Me: "Hey. Your friend helped us get your car keys. They've been replaced with the keys for a really cheap rental car for a couple of days. Your car will be returned to you once it's fit to drive on the freeway."

  It was two hours later when I heard back from her.

  Emily: "I don’t know what else to say besides thank you, Ethan. I'm speechless."

  Me: "It's nothing. Don't mention it. Just want you to have something safe to drive."

  Emily: "Thank you. Seriously. I'm feeling like I owe you something, though."

  Me: "How about letting me pick you up this Saturday night?"

  Emily: "I thought you had to swim Sunday?"

  At least she didn't answer with, "I already told you bye for good," which was exactly what I thought she'd say.

  Me: "I got the day off."

  Emily: "What if I have to work?"

  Me: "The Lakers are out of town. I already looked at the schedule."

  Emily: "Yeah, but we have to do appearances sometimes."

  Me: "Do you have to make an appearance somewhere this Saturday?"

  Emily: "No."

  Me: "You're getting tickled for that."

  Emily: "Promise?"

  Me: "Oh, you have no idea what I'm about to unleash on you for that little comment."

  Emily: "I can hardly wait."

  Me: "Oh you're getting it now, baby girl."

  Emily: "Bring it."

  Well, one thing's for sure… Regardless of her mindset with that shot-out boyfriend of hers, Emily was okay with the idea of having sex with me. She must have realized she enjoyed it enough to get past the idea of cheating on the other guy. I was glad she enjoyed it at least that much… I didn't care what made her agree to let me take her out this weekend. Hell, I didn't care if it was because she thought she owed me something for taking care of her car. An open door was all I needed to convince her, and I'd take an opportunity any way it came.

  Chapter 23

  Emily

  I didn't know what to feel, let alone think or say when Ethan text me and told me he was having my car fixed. Something inside snapped, and I knew right then and there I had to make some changes.

  I had to break up with Jeremy. (Not that I had to do it in order to be with Ethan, because that would likely not work out for a whole different set of reasons.) But, something about a guy who's not your boyfriend helping you have your car fixed makes you wonder about your real boyfriend and whether or not things are going to work out between you. Plus, Jeremy wasn't really nice to Sal, and that should have been a red flag from the beginning. It crossed my mind that my parents would be disappointed when they learned I broke up with Jeremy. I chose not to let that guilt influence me.

  Ethan followed up his car repair announcement with an invitation for a date on Saturday. I was feeling just crazy enough to not only accept, but to also lead him to believe I was open to messing around. Regardless of whether or not our relationship was destined for failure, messing around with Ethan was quickly becoming my new favorite hobby. His body knew the right things to do to make my body feel good, and I was counting down the minutes till Saturday when I knew I'd be feeling like that again.

  Ethan's car text came on Tuesday afternoon, and I was planning on breaking up with Jeremy over FaceTime later that night. We had plans to talk at ten o'clock, and I called at ten on the dot. I held my iPhone at arm's length so he could see my face. I hated to do this over video chat, but I figured it was better than sending
a text. That would have been so much easier, but I'd feel bad about doing it that way.

  "Hey baby," he said, as the connection registered and our faces appeared on each other's screen. I bit the inside of my lip nervously at the sound of the pet name. This was already going to be hard. I told myself to just go ahead and do it before he had the chance to get sweet on me.

  " Hey J," I said. "We need to talk."

  "Jesus, babe, please tell me you're not getting all dramatic about the distance. I told you it's only for a little while."

  The image of him was slightly jerky since his internet connection was a little dicey.

  "I'm not getting dramatic, Jeremy. I just don't think things are going to work out between us."

  Jeremy laughed as if to say I must surely be joking since everything was obviously working out. "What's wrong, babe, you missing me? I thought you were looking for a plane ticket. That'll give us some time together."

  "It's not that, Jeremy."

  "Well what the hell is it, then Em? You seriously breaking up with me right now?" He paused, but I was silent so he continued, "We've been together all our lives, you and me."

  I could tell he was staring at my face on the screen, and it made me feel a wave of sadness. To think I'd spent the better part of my life obsessing over this guy, and now here I was, sitting in the living room, ending our relationship over video chat. Me ending things with Jeremy… go figure.

  "I don’t want you to quit the Lakers, but if you feel like we need to see more of each other, we can change that. I can pitch in on plane tickets… or better yet, I can just help you get your car done. Then you can just drive down here whenever you want." He was smiling as if he had no doubt I'd be on board with that plan, like it was the best plan ever. The screen kept freezing, fixed on his big grin.

  "J, it isn't about us not spending enough time together. I just think we've both changed a lot over the years, and—"

  Jeremy's grin faded, and I trailed off, figuring he got the idea. Breaking up with Jeremy was almost impossible. I stared at his handsome face on the screen… the face I'd fantasized about for so many years. It felt entirely unnatural to be ending things with him. The only thing that convinced me I was doing the right thing was that the thought of not being with Ethan felt even more unnatural. Jeremy's face was a twisted mask of sadness, my stomach was in knots, and I so desperately wanted to say, "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Never mind about what I just said."

  I glanced at the little silver figurine of a swimmer on his starting block that was siting near a lamp on my nightstand. I had to do it. Being with Ethan in whatever capacity he'd have me was worth this dreaded task of ending things with Jeremy.

  "So you're breaking up with me?" Jeremy asked. His expression changed to one of disbelief and anger.

  "Yeah, I guess so."

  "What do you mean, you guess so? Yes or no."

  "Yes."

  "Bye Emily."

  He reached toward the camera, and a split second later, there was only black where his face had been. My eyes widened, and I gasped a little at the way he'd ended the call. My heart felt like it fell out of my chest and hit the floor. Not just because I broke up with the love of my life (or so I thought), but also because I was sad he was so angry with me. I hated confrontation, and having someone mad at me hurt. I had to remind myself that it was a break up, and I knew going in that things would get ugly.

  ****

  It had been three days since I broke up with Jeremy, and I had no regrets whatsoever. The mechanics Ethan hired did an amazing job on my car and it was so much easier to drive. Hallelujah, I could finally go more than forty miles an hour. I seriously had a new lease on life with that car being fixed. It felt so good.

  I had been in touch with Ethan a little bit that week, mostly to give him updates on the progress of my car and tell him how much I appreciated it when it was all done. I didn't tell him I broke up with Jeremy. I didn't want him to think I did it just for him. Guys like Ethan feel trapped easily, and I knew he would get antsy if he thought I needed something more serious.

  I thought it would never get here, but it was finally Saturday, and Ethan said he'd be pulling into town at around 4PM. He told me he wanted to hang out at my place for a while before we went anywhere. I'd seen Gretchen earlier in the day, and she said she and Joel would be around, and that we should come by their place on the way out to have a drink. I text Ethan to run the idea past him and he said it sounded fun.

  He told me to wear something I wouldn't mind being the center of attention in, but something I was comfortable enough to dance in. I ended up putting on a fitted khaki jumpsuit. It came across a little sexy and dressy, but it was also really comfortable, and I'd have no trouble dancing in it. I put on jewelry and accessories and just enough makeup to make me not feel like a baggy eyed, grease-ball. Ethan pulled into the driveway at a quarter to four—on a freaking motorcycle! The name brand on it read Triumph. It had a vintage feel to it, but I could tell it was a new bike. It was the coolest looking thing I'd ever seen. I absolutely couldn't wait to get on it and go for a ride. I was standing only a few feet from him by the time he'd taken his helmet off, and my stomach did a flip at the sight of his bright smile.

  "Were you waiting outside or what?" he asked.

  That smile, good Lord. I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face as a result of looking at it.

  "Maybe I was. So what?" I asked, shrugging.

  "I like that little outfit, baby girl," he said. He crooked his finger and I obeyed, moving close enough to him for him to bend over and put a kiss on my cheek. He smiled at me before going back to the task of parking his bike. He put down the kickstand, and hung the helmet from the handlebar. "I didn't know how you'd feel about riding on the back, so figured we could take your car if you didn't like the idea."

  "I already told you every girl dreams about being picked up on a bike," I said.

  He bowed as if to imply making dreams come true was all in a day's work.

  "Where are you taking me?" I asked.

  "Dancing," he said, "but not until later." He put his arm around my waist as we started walking to my place. "We can hang at Gretchen and Joel's for a little while, but I have reservations for dinner at seven." He was being a little tentative with how he touched me, and I remembered he didn't know I wasn't with Jeremy. I didn't know when I'd tell him that piece of information… I wasn't trying to hide it from him necessarily, but up until then I didn't feel like I had a good opportunity.

  "Reservations? That sounds fancy. Are you sure this is okay?" I looked down at my jumpsuit.

  "It's perfect," he said, without hesitation. "You look amazing." He opened a small compartment on the motorcycle, from which he took his wallet and a big green toothbrush bone. "Where's my boy?" he asked.

  "I made him wait in the house," I said. "He was being a spaz earlier."

  "I know better. Sal's never a spaz," he said. "You were probably just so excited to see me that you forgot to bring him out here."

  That was exactly what happened. I was so nervous and excited to see Ethan tonight that I was literally shaking. My hands always got a little bit of the shakes when I was in Ethan's presence, but usually I could hide it. Tonight, however, I was shaking especially bad. I was looking forward to having a drink at Gretchen's… I thought that might calm my nerves a little. "You totally caught me, I just forgot to bring him outside," I said. "But what makes you think it's because I'm so excited to see you?"

  "Your little wings are shaking," he said, reaching out to brush the backside of one of my hands. I pushed at him for calling me out, but deep down I really didn't care. I was so excited to see him.

  "Well you're right about both things. I'm excited to see you, and I'm a terrible dog owner."

  "I wouldn't say terrible," he said. "Maybe just negligent… or better yet, distractible."

  We were laughing as we walked into my little guesthouse. Ethan greeted Sal and gave him the treat that was
now a tradition. We hung out there for a few minutes before walking over to Joel and Gretchen's for a drink.

  Gretchen made sure to remind me to bring Sal. She said he could stay in the main house with them while Ethan and I went out. I assured her he didn't need a babysitter, and that he'd be fine in his kennel, but she insisted, saying she and Joel were just hanging out tonight and would love to have him around for the evening. I told her to leave the kitchen door open, and I'd come by and sneak Sal out when we got back.

  We left, headed for some dinner and dancing. Sal was up to his elbows in belly-rubs with Joel and Gretchen, and I was totally stoked to do some dancing with Ethan. Now that my vision wasn't being clouded by the thought of Jeremy, I realized how much I really wanted Ethan. I knew the feeling would only intensify as the evening went on.

  Nothing did it for me like a guy who could dance, and Ethan could freaking bloody-well move on the dance floor. I knew this because he danced to a whole flipping song one time while I did nothing but sit there and watch. That was something I'd pay good money to see again. I had no idea what kind of dancing he was taking me to do, but I was sure he'd be good at it. You could just tell when someone knew how to move their body, and Ethan was one of those people.

  We had dinner at a wonderful little funky restaurant where every dish was made with care using fresh, quality ingredients. It was tiny, and totally packed, hence the need for a reservation. After dinner, Ethan brought me to a gelato place that Collin and Rachel always talked about. Neither of us had ever been, but it totally lived up to the hype. The owner made new flavors everyday, based on his mood, and there were some refreshingly weird ones to choose from. We traded bites, just like a real couple would do.

  The evening only got better as the hours went by. He brought me to a swing dance with a live jazz band, and a room full of people, most dressed to fit the part. Something about dancing makes you laugh, and we did so much of that my face hurt. The music and the atmosphere were both amazing. We danced until we were sweaty. The sun had set during the time we'd been in the dance hall, and we remarked on it as we walked to his bike.