Cityscape Affair Series: The Complete Box Set

by Hawkins, Jessica

I whipped my eyes back to his. “What?”

  “I attended the ballet with Andrew’s firm. I’m here tonight by his invitation. I’m not waiting for Andrew to decide when we meet again.”

  “We’re not meeting again,” I said. “There’s no reason to.”

  “Where’s your husband?”

  “He’s not here tonight.”

  “I gathered. Where is he?”

  “Out of town,” I said.

  “How’d you meet him?” he asked. “And don’t say it’s not my business, Olivia. Just answer me.”

  My breathing sped. He said my name as if it belonged to him, a collar around my neck to which only he held the key. And he made demands the same way, as if he knew without a shadow of a doubt that I’d answer. And I did.

  “We met at work,” I said. “Kind of. Our offices were in the same building, and we’d take our breaks in the courtyard at the same time.”

  “And he asked you to marry him?”

  The absurdity of the question made me laugh. “Not right away. We were friends for a while.”

  “How long?”

  I shook my head. It wasn’t as if these were intimate details about my relationship—anyone who knew us had heard the story of how we’d met. Yet I felt as if I was doing something wrong. Sharing intel with the enemy, however harmless. “I don’t know,” I said. “Six months maybe.”

  He grunted. “Six months. Six fucking months he waited to ask you out.”

  I drew my eyebrows together. “Plus one day. Since you want to get specific.”

  “I do want to get specific. Very specific.” He stepped closer to me, and my heart rate kicked up. “Why one day?”

  “I . . . I had to think it over.”

  He dropped his eyes to my lips. “What made you say yes?”

  “I realized he’d become more than a friend.” I watched the way David watched my mouth. “Do I have something in my teeth?”

  David seemed to be getting closer. He was so tall, so wide, I couldn’t even see if the other women were still on the balcony. I couldn’t see the door. He raised his eyes from my mouth. “So you took pity on him. That’s why you agreed to go out with him?”

  “No,” I said. “It was more than that. I was attracted to him.”

  “Was?”

  “Am.”

  “You were attracted to him.” David tilted his head. “And it took him six months to notice.”

  Now, we were getting into gray area, into the details only Lucy and Gretchen knew. I hadn’t even shared this with Bill. But the deeper David probed, the more uncomfortable I was—and that was something I hadn’t felt in a while. My friends and family knew my limits.

  Discomfort meant things were too real.

  “Answer me, Olivia,” he said, leaving no room for argument.

  “The attraction wasn’t . . . it didn’t build. It just happened. I didn’t see Bill that way. But the day he asked me out, that night, I had this dream . . .”

  David put one hand on the railing next to me. After a few moments of silence, he said, “I don’t think I need to hear the dream.”

  “We made love.” It came out unbidden, but I got a sense of satisfaction with the way David’s jaw ticked. He’d made me squirm, and now it was his turn. “And it seemed so real, the sex. Even to this day, it feels more like a memory than a dream. And after that, he was no longer a friend in my eyes.”

  David took another step. He was so close now, I had to tilt my head back to look up at him. “You’ve been married for . . . how long?”

  “Five years.”

  “In that time, have you ever had an extramarital affair?”

  I sucked in a breath at his boldness. “That’s private. I should slap you for even asking.”

  “So slap me,” he said. “Then answer the question.”

  I swallowed. The longer he waited, the warmer the space between us grew. I licked wine from the inside of my lips. I had the sudden urge to see what he’d taste like, to put my mouth on his. “No. I’ve never cheated on my husband.”

  “Ever been tempted?”

  “No,” I said. “I love him. I’ve never so much as fantasized about another man since I met him. I wouldn’t even be out here with you if—” I stopped myself, my heart pounding.

  “If?”

  If I’d ever felt anything close to this before.

  The reason I wanted to stay and the reason I needed to go was the same. I couldn’t voice my attraction, but he understood. By the way he flicked his tongue over his bottom lip, by the satisfied half-smile that followed—he understood.

  “Sorry to disappoint you,” I said wryly, “but I’m not that kind of person. I’m not going to sleep with you.”

  “I’m not disappointed.”

  My face warmed. I certainly hadn’t misunderstood his intentions—for God’s sake, he’d practically asked me to have an affair—but maybe I’d made our attraction bigger in my mind. “I don’t believe you.”

  “I’m not disappointed you won’t sleep with me—I wouldn’t sleep with you, either. Not tonight.”

  “Not any night,” I said, but my voice faltered, and my declaration came out sounding more like a question.

  “And I’m sure as hell not disappointed you’ve never had an affair. That only confirms my suspicion.”

  The railing dug into my back. He had me cornered. Trapped. I could set myself free if I wanted. Yet not even the fear that Lucy or Gretchen, or God forbid Andrew, Bill’s closest friend, might come out and find us this close was enough to get me to move. “What suspicion?” I asked.

  “This is about you. It’s about me. There’s something here, between us, that goes deeper than sexual attraction.”

  No. It was the first response that came to mind, but not because I didn’t agree. I didn’t want to recognize anything deeper. Emotions I’d been suppressing for years threatened to surface. Everything in my life was how I wanted it, and Bill respected that. He didn’t push my boundaries like David was doing now, because he knew I’d withdraw. “I’m married, David.”

  “I know. Believe me—if you weren’t, we’d be having a different conversation.”

  “You can’t say things like that.”

  “I am disappointed about one thing,” he said, ignoring me. “That I didn’t meet you first. If I had, all bets would be off.”

  The intensity between us had never left, but it grew thicker in that moment. I didn’t want to ask myself if I felt the same. I barely knew this man. I didn’t regret meeting or marrying Bill—he was exactly what I needed. A good man. Someone who accepted me as I was and didn’t take pleasure in making me uncomfortable.

  The thought of this being my last meeting with David sent a wave of dread through me, but I needed to put a stop to this. I gripped the railing and lowered my voice to a whisper. “There are plenty of women here—single women. If you’re looking for company, I’m sure they’d be much obliged.”

  “You’re right—they would.”

  I gaped. “Cocky much?”

  “You don’t think I could find someone else tonight?” he asked.

  I wasn’t about to answer that. Of course he could. Gretchen, for one. And I realized that was why I was still standing there. David could be paying this kind of attention to anyone at the party, but he’d chosen me. He’d followed me out here knowing I was married and that he couldn’t have me.

  “Find someone else,” I dared him. “This city is littered with available women. If an affair is what gets you off, there are plenty of married women who’d go home with you tonight. You shouldn’t have any problem finding someone—”

  His nostrils flared. “I don’t want someone.”

  The women chatting in the corner quieted with his raised voice.

  “Are you even single?” I asked.

  He cocked his head and made me wait. In the silent seconds that followed, I knew I should take the question back. “I’m available, yes,” he said finally. “Thanks for asking.”

  “I’m
just making conversation.”

  He shifted his gaze. “Something wrong with your earring?”

  I realized I was fidgeting with it. “No,” I said, lowering my hand to my side.

  “You were doing that earlier. Inside. Nervous habit?”

  It was, but I wasn’t about to give him any more than I had. How had he even noticed? “If you’re asking if you make me nervous, you don’t. I’m long past the butterflies-in-my-tummy stage of my life.”

  “That’s a shame,” he murmured.

  “No, it isn’t. I hate that feeling of . . .”

  He raised his chin, looking intrigued. “Of what, Olivia?”

  He drew out my name the way he might run a fingertip down my side. More goose bumps sprung over my skin, and David’s eyes jumped to my bare shoulder. The man noticed everything, every little way he affected me. I hated that feeling, too, as much as it intoxicated me—that sense that he could read my thoughts, my fears and desires.

  I didn’t want to be that vulnerable to anyone—not even my husband.

  Especially not my husband.

  That was how people got hurt. Their walls came down, and they stopped protecting themselves—and divorce took down everything and everyone in its path.

  I needed to walk away—if not out of respect for Bill, then to save myself from getting any closer to David.

  “Take my coat,” David said, but made no move to take it off. “You’re nearly shivering.”

  “I’m going back inside.”

  “I should warn you—I’m not good at taking no for an answer. I can be very persistent.”

  I leaned in until we were almost touching. “No.”

  “You’d rather freeze?”

  “How many other girls have you offered your coat to tonight?”

  His eyes narrowed a fraction. A possible sore spot? “None.”

  “I don’t believe that.”

  “I’m not what you think.”

  “You don’t have women falling at your feet wherever you go? Endless dates on your arm like Andrew said? You’re not a total playboy?”

  He gritted his teeth. “I’ve never, not once, described myself as a playboy.”

  “But have other people?”

  He inhaled a short breath. “What do you want me to say?” he asked. “That I’ve waited my whole life for you?”

  Even though he was being sarcastic, my annoying heart skipped a beat. We’d met twice, and he was already very much under my skin. “Excuse me,” I said, ducking out from under him.

  “Wait.” He caught my elbow so swiftly, I was too stunned to do anything but let him pull me back to him. “Have dinner with me tomorrow night.”

  “No.”

  “Lunch then.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “I’ll be on my best behavior.” His eyes scanned my face, and for a moment, his bravado seemed to give way to a hint of that desperation he’d mentioned earlier. “You said your husband’s out of town.”

  For the first time tonight, real anger rose in me. Not just for what he was insinuating, but at myself. Why couldn’t I just walk away? Why did I let him get to me—and why did I consider accepting his invitation? I knew, no matter what, how something like this could end. Just the threat of infidelity—the accusations leveled on both sides, the vulnerabilities exposed and exploited—not even the act, had eroded my parents’ marriage.

  “How dare you?” I asked.

  He sighed, his minty breath tempting me closer. “I’m not asking for anything more than a meal.”

  “Ask someone else,” I said sharply.

  “I don’t want someone else,” he shot back. “Haven’t you heard anything I’ve been trying to tell you?”

  He was angry now, too, but he had no reason to be. I delivered my good-bye slowly so he’d hear every word. “If my husband knew what you were suggesting . . .”

  David loosened his grip a little. “What?” he challenged. “What would he do?”

  Nothing. Bill would be hurt, but he wouldn’t take action. And David seemed to know that somehow.

  “Being away this weekend was his mistake,” David said. “If you were mine, I’d never let you out of my sight unless I absolutely fucking had to. And if I did, no man would make the same mistake I did and presume you were single. Every person within a mile radius would know you were mine.”

  His. His words, his cool breath, his firm but reverent grip on my arm—it all made me want to let him kiss me. Because there was no question in my mind that he ached for it. And me?

  Ache was too mild a word.

  I need to know how he tastes.

  That terrifying thought spurred me to take my arm back and hurry inside. I should never have let David think he had even a chance of kissing me.

  I was the one who’d made a mistake. Not Bill.

  5

  Lucy’s engagement-announcement party remained in full swing. I found her and Gretchen right where I’d left them, talking to Andrew as if the earth hadn’t shifted in the twenty minutes I’d been on the balcony with David. As if everything was normal.

  While Andrew and Gretchen argued over the reasons she needed to get into the stock market, I tried to remove my heart from my throat. With every second that passed, guilt ate at me. I’d let David say too much. We’d gone too far and nowhere at all. There was nowhere to go.

  As he reentered the party, I took him in for the last time. There was no reason we should ever see each other again and every reason we shouldn’t.

  He towered over everyone as he made his way in my direction, then stopped a few feet away, holding my gaze as he rubbed his jaw. Finally, he took a breath and said in his endlessly deep voice, “There’s the bride-to-be.”

  Lucy looked over, and her face lit up. “Hi, David. I’ve been meaning to find you.”

  He spread his arms. “Here I am,” he said, dazzling her with a large smile, one that was almost too big for his face. A knee-weakening smile that I hadn’t yet seen.

  She stuck out her bottom lip. “Why do you have your coat on?”

  “I’m sorry to swoop in and out, but I’ve got somewhere to be.”

  Andrew settled his arm around Lucy. “We’re glad you could make it. And I’ll be taking you up on that offer to go out on the water.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that.” Lucy patted her fiancé’s chest. “We’re in trouble if Andrew falls in love with your sailboat, David.”

  “Why don’t you come, Luce?” David asked. “I’ll take you both out.”

  “We could bring Dani, too.” Lucy glanced from Andrew back to David. “Do you have to go right now? I was hoping to introduce you to my sister.”

  “Well, hang on,” Gretchen said, masking a glare at Lucy by batting her lashes. “What about your friend Gretchen?”

  My heart pounded from holding my breath. Dani and Gretchen were both single, both beautiful and smart—and while Gretchen wasn’t looking to settle down, Lucy’d had her heart set on setting up her sister for a while.

  “Oh, I’m so rude,” Lucy said, ever the hostess. She turned in our direction. “David, these are my best friends, Gretchen and Olivia.”

  David held out his hand, but Gretchen shooed it away. “I’m a hugger,” she said, crossing the circle.

  It only lasted a second, but I tensed as he bent so she could put her arms around his neck. “Pleasure,” he said.

  “Pleasure’s all mine,” she replied.

  He hugged Lucy next, which normally would’ve made me laugh considering she barely came up to his chest. “I do have to go,” he said, “but thank you for having me.” He nodded at Andrew. “Congratulations. I’d tell you how lucky you are, but I think you already know.”

  Andrew grinned. “That’s for damn sure.”

  When Lucy had tucked herself back into Andrew’s side, David turned to me.

  “We already met,” I said, my tone a little too defensive, as I was sure everyone could sense the connection between us.

  David shrugge
d, opening his arms. “What can I say? I’m a hugger.”

  Lucy and Gretchen giggled. I needed to look away, to focus on anything but the impossible-to-ignore man in front of me. But rejecting him would look more suspicious than giving in.

  David didn’t make a move, his intent clear—I was to go to him. Time slowed as I took one step toward him and then another. He slipped his arms around my waist, pressing my front to his with a strong squeeze. He lowered his mouth to my ear for a warm, silky whisper. “Maybe tonight, you’ll dream of someone new.”

  I had no breath to respond, and not a second, either. He released me as time caught up with us.

  “It was nice to meet you,” Gretchen said as David buttoned his coat.

  “You too,” he said, but his eyes were fixed on me.

  * * *

  David lit a fire in me that left my skin hot long after he’d left Lucy’s. Once the party died down, I hailed a cab, but a few blocks from my apartment, I got out to walk.

  I couldn’t shake the tiny knot at the pit of my stomach. Something had been planted inside of me that I was finding hard to escape. I needed to cool down and shake David’s presence. To rid my mind of dangerous thoughts and questions I should let lie.

  Such as . . . why?

  If composure had been a subject in school, I would’ve aced the class. I’d grown up with a mother whose emotions turned on a dime. She’d regularly threatened my dad that she’d disappear with me in the middle of the night for offenses ranging from him missing dinner to leaving on a work trip to being assigned a female secretary. After every episode, she’d apologize and beg his forgiveness. Some nights, my dad would take the bait; others, he’d let her wear herself out. Until the one time she’d gone too far.

  Why had my father stayed so long? There were good times, too—stretches of a normal, white-picket-fence existence. Weekends where Mom and Dad had barbecued together, then canoodled after dessert on warm Texan nights. But her episodes sometimes had happy endings, too. Dad was the only one who got her worked up that way—and the only one who could calm her down. Once I was old enough, I understood how their all-out fights could lead to something else behind closed doors.