Cityscape Affair Series: The Complete Box Set

by Hawkins, Jessica

  I laughed again, this time at the fact that he thought a couple nights was a long time to go without sex. At that realization, the smile immediately slid off my face. Was that a long time for him? At this point, if I weren’t in the picture, would he have called up Maria? Dani? Amber? Some other Brittany whose name popped up on his caller ID?

  “What?” he asked.

  “Nothing.”

  “It’s not nothing. What was that?”

  I let it go, not wanting to ruin these moments we’d fought so hard for. I ran my hands up his chest and replaced my arm around his neck. “I just think it’s funny that after all these months, you can’t wait another day.”

  “A day? I’ve been waiting way longer. A really long fucking time, in fact,” he declared. “Sue me if I want nothing more than to lock you in my apartment, throw you on my bed, and have you until you beg me to stop.”

  His words, aside from knotting my insides with excitement, rang familiar. He’d said something similar to me once before. The last time, I couldn’t respond the way I’d wanted, so this time I did. “I’ll never beg you to stop,” I told him.

  His chest vibrated against me when he growled. He still looked slightly angry, but now his eyes bordered on hungry. “Then we’re in trouble if we expect to have a life outside the bedroom.”

  I couldn’t suppress my grin. He was so adorable when he didn’t get what he wanted.

  “I’ll give you your space,” he said with obvious reluctance, “but in exchange, I want the whole weekend.”

  Just me and him, alone. Saturday morning to Sunday night. As much as the idea elated me, it also scared me. What if we weren’t as compatible as we’d thought? What if a whole weekend with one woman was too much for him?

  But he looked positively giddy about it, so I moved my hands back against his hard pecs and nodded. “You got it. This weekend belongs to us.”

  He bent his head and kissed me softly on the lips. “You’re amazing. Thank you for today.”

  I blew out a breath as my body warmed. I was just getting to see this sweet, romantic side of him, and I liked it a little too much.

  “Go back inside,” he said, “or I will kidnap you and take you home now.”

  “Okay.” I tried to pull away, but his arms remained locked around me.

  “And turn your phone back on,” he added. “I hate being out of touch.”

  “Yes, sir.” I smiled. “Talk to you tomorrow.”

  He leaned over, gave me another kiss, and left.

  3

  My name echoed in the distance—faintly at first and then again, louder . . .

  “Olivia! Wake up.”

  With a hand on my arm, my eyes flew open to darkness. I vaulted into a sitting position. “Bill?” I wheezed.

  “Shh, sweetie,” I heard. “It’s me. Gretchen. Were you having a nightmare?”

  I closed my eyes and reclined back onto Gretchen’s bed. “Mhm.”

  “What about?”

  “I don’t remember.” I rubbed my eyes. “I have them sometimes. About the attack in my office.”

  “Mark Alvarez?” she asked. “I didn’t know that.”

  “Alvarez restrains me as he threatens payback for Bill. But this nightmare was different. Bill was in it, too.”

  She stroked my shoulder. “Is there any news about Alvarez?”

  “He’s behind bars, and he’s not going anywhere. But it’s hard to forget what his hands felt like on me.”

  I woke up several times after that, half-expecting Bill, other times David, but confused when I found Gretchen.

  Was Bill confused, too, tossing and turning in an empty bed? He’d be angry. Sad. Embarrassed. But for some reason, picturing him waking up confused made my throat thicken. I lay staring at the ceiling as the room brightened with the rising sun until Gretchen stirred eventually.

  “I’m worried about Bill,” I said.

  She yawned and rubbed her eyes before flipping on her side to face me. “Should I ask Andrew to check on him?”

  “Would you?” I didn’t mind asking for a favor since Bill and Andrew, Lucy’s husband, were close. “I don’t think Lucy wants to talk to me.”

  “Sure. I’ll call on our way to work.”

  We got ready together and headed to a café down the street. After putting in an order at the counter, Gretchen called Lucy, who told her that Andrew would go by my—Bill’s—apartment. Lucy didn’t want to speak to me however. And considering Gretchen stopped mid-sentence during her update on how I was doing, it appeared that Lucy didn’t care to hear about me.

  Gretchen hung up and assured me again that Lucy would come around, but I wasn’t so sure. I’d stomped on her values, everything she believed in, and the vows she and Andrew had just taken. It hurt to think that I’d tainted the meaning of love and commitment for Lucy in a similar way my parents had for me. And to realize that I might lose friends in addition to a husband. But even though I was still laden with grief, doubt, fear . . . remembering why I’d done it—to actively pursue happiness, love, and passion—brought a certain lightness, too.

  “So what’re you going to do about a living situation?” Gretchen asked as we waited for our coffee drinks.

  “Trying to get rid of me?” I teased.

  “You know you can stay at our apartment as long as you want,” she said. “Between work and our social lives, my roommates and I are hardly there anyway.”

  “I don’t know if Bill would appreciate my breaking up our marriage for one long sleepover at your place.”

  “Touché. So?” she asked. “What are you going to do?”

  I sighed as a barista passed us our drinks. We left the café and started toward the train. “David and I made plans to spend the weekend together,” I said, cupping a hand around my latte’s comforting heat. “So we’re starting with breakfast tomorrow. I haven’t really thought beyond Sunday.”

  Ugh. Apartment hunting. Something I never thought I’d have to do again. I grimaced. “I guess I should start looking for my own place.”

  “Like, your own apartment?” Gretchen asked. “What about David?”

  “What about him?”

  She nudged me with her elbow. “Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about moving in with him.”

  I widened my eyes. I truly had not thought about that—there’d been no time. “Already?” I asked. “David and I haven’t even been on an official date yet. We should probably start there. Shacking up is serious.”

  “Hel-lo?” she said. “Did you not just end your marriage for him? I’d say that’s pretty serious.”

  “No, I know. But really, Gretch, David helped me see the cracks in my marriage. I’m doing this for myself, not just for him. And I don’t want to put too much pressure on us.”

  “Pressure?” she asked.

  “Well, yeah. Ending my marriage for him?” I scratched the tip of my nose. “I mean, I don’t want David to feel like he owes me anything.”

  She sipped her coffee. “Don’t do that.”

  I glanced over at her. “Do what?”

  “Don’t prep yourself for disaster before things even get started.”

  “I’m not,” I said defensively. “I’m just trying to be realistic. David and I have time now. I don’t want to push him. Or myself.” I paused, chewing on my bottom lip. “I mean, I don’t even know if he’s ever lived with a woman.”

  It occurred to me, not for the first time, that I was essentially leaving my life behind for a man I didn’t know much about.

  Gretchen twisted her lips as she thought. “I don’t know. Dude seems pretty intent on taking things to the next level with you.”

  I laughed at how accurate that was. If it were up to David, we’d be much further along already. “Yeah, but, don’t forget—you were the one who kept reminding me he’s a bachelor who’s spent his life doing what he wants . . . and who he wants. This may take some getting used to for him.” I massaged the back of my neck as we slowed down on the sidewalk. “Like I sa
id, we’ve got something we didn’t have before—time.”

  “True. All right, girl,” Gretchen said, breaking off toward her train. “See you tonight?”

  “Yup.”

  She started to leave but turned and came back to me. “I’m serious, Liv. Don’t start this relationship with one foot out the door. Believe David when he tells you what he wants.”

  I did believe him. I’d had to in order to take the leap of faith I had. But trusting in a relationship built on passion and lust that had seemingly become love overnight? I wasn’t so sure. Relinquishing control in favor of blind faith would be a process—with an outcome I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to fully achieve.

  * * *

  Saturday morning, I re-packed the small duffel bag I’d taken from my apartment to Gretchen’s. My nerves frayed with anticipation, excitement, and unfortunately, guilt. Spending a weekend with another man felt wrong, but spending it wrapped up in David could only be all kinds of right.

  It was only when I realized David had never responded to the last text I’d sent him that some anxiety crept into my thoughts. Since he’d left Gretchen’s apartment, we’d been in constant contact, planning to meet up for breakfast today. But when I’d written him last night to triple check our plans, he hadn’t responded.

  Gretchen invited herself to breakfast, I figured because she had a habit of being nosy, so we walked arm in arm to the café David and I had decided on.

  Once seated inside the bustling brunch spot, I unfolded a napkin onto my lap. “I started researching apartments yesterday,” I told Gretchen. “God, it’s been a while since I looked. I can’t believe how expensive rent will be on my own.”

  “That’s why I have roommates,” she said and shrugged. “Honestly, having people around isn’t so bad. Remember how much fun we had when we were roomies?”

  “I’m going to be a divorcée,” I pointed out. “I can’t have roommates.”

  “No? Not even David?” She smirked. “Maybe you should see if he wants to split rent?”

  I rolled my eyes. “It’s definitely too soon for us to move in together.”

  Gretchen nodded, looking over her menu. “I really envy what you’re doing, you know,” she said.

  “Which part?” I asked. “Cheating on my husband, blowing up my marriage, or falling for someone who could have literally any woman in Chicago?”

  Gretchen closed her menu and leaned on the table. “He chose you, Liv. Trust in that.” She tilted her head. “What you’re doing is risking everything for love. To know so strongly based on a feeling alone that you want to be with David? That’s amazing.”

  I let that new perspective sink in as the waiter poured three glasses of water. Could I try viewing my situation through that lens instead of just thinking of myself as terribly selfish? “I think I knew David was ‘the one’ the moment we locked eyes,” I said thoughtfully. “I just couldn’t see it through everything else.”

  “So that would make it love at first sight,” Gretchen pointed out and smiled mischievously. “And you went on and on at Lucy’s bachelorette about how you believed soulmates were bullshit.”

  “I still do,” I said, waving her off. “I don’t believe in all that.” Despite my brush-off, I couldn’t help but smile to myself. It was bullshit . . . wasn’t it?

  “I believe in it—and Lucy does, too. Once she sees you and David together, she’ll understand.”

  “Gretch, you haven’t even seen us together,” I said.

  “Well,” she said, drawing out the word and burying her nose back in the menu. “I may have spied on you guys a little when he came to my apartment Thursday night.”

  “Gretchen,” I scolded but laughed.

  She smiled. “Heard anything from Bill?”

  “Not a peep.” I sipped my water and browsed the list of brunch items. “Maybe you could find out how Andrew’s visit went?”

  “I’ll call Luce later,” she said, flipping the menu closed. “I’m going to order a club sandwich. Man, I still can’t believe you’re head-over-heels in love.”

  At her abruptness, I grinned. “I’m head over heels in something. I mean, what happens to all my stuff? Our joint bank account? I have some savings, but it’s pitiful in comparison. I mean, what happens to that money?”

  Gretchen looked sympathetic. “Divorce. That’s what happens.”

  “It’s going to be hell,” I said, raking my fingers over my scalp and resting my head in my hands. “My parents’ divorce took almost a year. Your parents’ was even more contentious.”

  “But it was worth it in the end,” she said. “And yours will be, too.”

  “I don’t even have a lawyer. Bill is a lawyer, so of course I’ve never needed one before. I guess I should ask my . . .” Shit. I hadn’t even encountered for all of the difficult conversations ahead of me. I groaned. “I’m so not looking forward to telling my dad about this.”

  Gretchen grimaced. “Will he be upset?”

  “How can he be?” I asked. “He gets divorced all the time.”

  She giggled. “He’s only been divorced twice. But maybe he’ll know a good lawyer.”

  We both looked up when David walked into the restaurant. Something always shifted when he entered a room. I didn’t call him over as he scanned the restaurant but took the opportunity to appreciate my new . . . what, boyfriend? . . . from afar. I couldn’t decide who was sexier—businessman David in his tailored suits or this weekend David I laid eyes on now in jeans, a hoodie over a t-shirt, and aviators.

  When he spotted us, he stalked in our direction. “What’d I say about your phone?” he asked, no regard for the other diners looking at him.

  He sounded angry, but I barely noticed. I could only admire the sexy way David moved, surprisingly graceful for someone as tall and sturdily built as him.

  His hand found the back of my chair and the other planted on the table, boxing me in. He focused in on me like he was waiting for a response, but I’d been too busy appreciating him to remember the question.

  “What?” I asked. “Did you say something?”

  He whipped off his sunglasses and cocked his head at me. “I’ve been trying to get ahold of you since yesterday. You haven’t returned any of my texts or e-mails, and my phone calls won’t go through. Hell, I almost drove over last night just to make sure you hadn’t skipped town on me.”

  “Huh.” I took out my phone and showed him the screen. “I don’t have any missed calls.”

  He took the phone from me and straightened up. After a moment of swiping and tapping with a furrowed brow—a sexy look I doubted I’d ever grow tired of seeing—he cursed under his breath.

  “What?” I asked.

  “It’s disconnected.”

  Reality sent a tremor through the moment. “Bill must’ve canceled my plan,” I said.

  “Sounds like something he’d do,” Gretchen volunteered.

  I sighed, took the phone back, and mentally added a new phone plan to my growing list of expenses. I bit my bottom lip, looking up at David. “Sorry. I didn’t even think to check my e-mail last night.”

  He closed the space between us to kiss me. “Hi, beautiful.”

  I smiled. “Hi.”

  He inhaled and gave me a harder kiss before taking the seat next to mine at the small, square table. I darted my eyes around the restaurant just to make sure I didn’t know anyone there. It was definitely weird, kissing in public.

  David signaled for a waiter. “What have you guys been doing?”

  “Just watching TV, hanging out,” Gretchen said. “We haven’t been feeling very motivated.”

  “Understandable,” he said and swung his head to me. He reached over to grasp my thigh. “How are you feeling, baby? Honestly?”

  “All right,” I responded, squirming slightly under the endearment.

  He squeezed my leg. “One step at a time,” he said so only I could hear. “Together.”

  I nodded and covered his hand with mine.

 
; When the waiter returned, David ordered coffee for the table, four different breakfast items, and closed the menu. “What do you want?” he asked me.

  My mouth fell open. “All that food is for you?”

  He patted his stomach. “Haven’t eaten since dinner last night. But you can have whatever you want off my plate.”

  I shrugged at the waiter. “I’ll just have the oatmeal with fruit.”

  As Gretchen placed her order, David leaned back in his seat and nodded at the duffel bag by my feet—the one that currently fit my entire life. “That your stuff?” he asked.

  “Yep.”

  “Everything?”

  I nodded. “For now.”

  “Work clothes?”

  “Some of it.” Well, two outfits I’d have to get creative about stretching into four. I scratched above my eyebrow. “I’ll manage.”

  David glanced skeptically at the bag and then back at me with his eyebrows drawn.

  “Okay, I might need to get more things from the apartment,” I conceded. “Bill didn’t take my key, so I can go next week while he’s at work.”

  “No need.” David grinned. “We’ll go shopping.”

  “Oh, no, it’s fine,” I said. It was beginning to hit me that between a lawyer, rent, a new life and limited funds, things were going to become very tight for me.

  “I’ll take you. My treat.” He glanced at Gretchen, who made no secret that she was listening to every word. “We’ll sit down and talk logistics later,” he added, “but let me get you some things for work.”

  “Logistics?” I asked.

  “Yeah, money, apartment stuff, all that shit. We’ll figure it out, but for now . . .” He winked. “I want to take my girl shopping.”

  “I couldn’t possibly accept—”

  “I’ll go,” Gretchen volunteered, and I gave her a look.

  The waiter carried over a tray of three coffees, setting one in front of each of us.

  “Olivia, don’t argue with me,” David said, ignoring Gretchen as he picked up his mug. “Let me do this for you.”

  Gretchen kicked me under the table, and I yelped. She raised her eyebrows at me and nodded furiously. Turning down free clothes? A foreign concept to her.