by Tahnee Fritz
Sadness fills his eyes and he says, “I wish I could. I wish I could really be by your side when you wake up. I know you’ll need someone to help you through whatever happens next, but I’ll still be watching over you with mom and dad and Maggie. We’ll all be here to keep an eye on you, no matter what you are when you open your eyes.”
“But I don’t want you go.” I feel my eyes tearing up and the lump expanding in my throat again.
“I know you don’t and neither do I, but it’s time. We all have to move on at some point and I can’t be here forever. Just remember one thing, Bridget,” he turns away from me and starts walking, “everything is going to be alright, because...”
“I love you, sweet dreams, and goodnight.” We finish the lullaby together and he disappears from my life one more time.
It’s like the first, worst day of my life is repeating itself. I close my eyes and let the darkness of my mind consume me once again.
Part Two
I have no idea how long I’ve been out. The sun was shining when I got here and, as I look through the skylight above me, it’s dark outside now. I can see the stars shining in the sky and they look miraculous. They seem brighter, more amazing than the last time I saw them. I don’t know if the reason for that is from my being infected by both beasts. It might have something to do with me still being a bit delirious from the whole ordeal. I mean, I did just have a conversation with my brother who has been dead for five years now.
Something else seems off as well. The floor isn’t cold anymore. I’m either used to it or I can’t feel it. The pain has faded entirely, but my body feels stiff. I’ve been lying in the fetal position for who knows how long and I’m afraid if I move again, the pain will come screaming back. I got lucky when I passed out earlier. Everything was so intense, which was probably the reason I kicked myself out of my mind and hallucinated about Charlie. It was the only thing to keep my mind off whatever was happening to me.
Speaking of that, I just now realized, I still feel like myself in my head. I know my name is Bridget, I know my family and I can even picture their faces when I close my eyes. My dad with his grey hair and smirk on his face. My mom with the sad eyes and hair just as brown as mine. Maggie and Charlie staring at me with goofy smiles just like they had when we were still a family.
I can even picture Ryder, which is just the best.
I can see him struggling against Carter’s grip, trying to get to me. If I try harder, I can see him smiling. I can hear his laughter and his voice as he tells me how much he cares about me. I still remember his face and that’s all I really care about.
I open my eyes and stare at the room around me. Even though it’s dark in here, I can see everything perfectly as though the lights were on. The grimy tiles on the wall across from me. The wooden door is still wide open and I can even see the mirror I smashed when I saw my eyes change. That mirror makes me want to see them again. I have to know for sure what I am.
I put my palm on the floor, feeling the cracks in the linoleum, and slowly push myself up to my knees. Every muscle stretches and pulls against me like my body is telling me not to get up. My knees and elbows pop when I finally get to my feet. It doesn’t bring a new pain, it just feels like I ran a marathon without training for it. I’m sore, but I feel fine on the inside.
I look around the room before turning around to the mirror. The trash can is still in its place and there’s a small puddle of blood where my head was just on the floor. The redness glimmers in the starlight. It’s amazing how I can see this well in the dark. It’s like I have cat eyes now or permanent night vision.
I’m not going to lie, this is kind of cool.
My feet spin around and I stare into the mirror. I’ve changed since earlier. My hair doesn’t look dull, it looks shiny and healthy as it hangs delicately on my shoulders. There’s no bump from where my hair tie was and it looks better than any hairstyle I could ever attempt to do. My skin is slightly paler than before, but it isn’t all veiny or death ridden. I take a step forward, feeling my weight shift to my left foot. It’s awkward to walk being so stiff and my legs feel wobbly. I grab hold of the sink and lean closer to the mirror.
There is a trail of dried blood on the corner of my mouth and I wipe it away with the back of my hand. My skin feels so soft and I drag my fingers across my face just to feel the smoothness again. Ryder would love how satiny this feels. He’d probably never stop touching or kissing me again.
There’s a small amount of blood on my shirt and I can see it dried on the collar of my hoodie. Not much I can do about that. Blood typically stains clothes. I ignore it and lean closer to the mirror and take a good look at my eyes.
Part of me was hoping I had imagined my eyes changing colors. Not part of me, but all of me was hoping for that. I never wanted to see what I’m currently staring at. They aren’t the deep black of the zombies’ nor are they the hazy grey of the vamps’. They’re more like a metallic silvery color and they’re kind of beautiful. My brown eyes were pretty boring and hundreds of living humans on the planet have that color of eyes. This silver that has overtaken them, is almost mesmerizing. I could get lost in my own eyes.
I step back and examine the rest of me. I brush my hair away from my neck where the vamp had clamped its teeth against me. Odd. The marks are gone. Not even a scar remains. I look down to my right arm and push the sleeve up to my elbow. I wipe the dry blood away and see the same result. The holes are still in my hoodie, but no evidence remains that I was ever bitten.
This is something different. Every zombie and every vamp I’ve seen or killed, has shown some scar from where they were originally bitten. That bite in the neck or the claw mark across the chest, there’s always a mark. I don’t have anything. I guess this is a good thing. I’d be able to blend in a little with humans and not have to hide anything, other than my eyes.
I raise an eyebrow and run my fingers through my amazingly soft hair. The shampoo in the city would never make my hair this soft or this wild looking without me doing something else to it. It’s so wavy. I love it!
I really can’t lie about this at all. I love how wonderful I feel. Despite the stiffness in my bones and muscles, I feel like I was never in that much pain and it was a severe amount of pain. I keep my eyes on my reflection and a smile forms across my lips. A small amount of white from my teeth shines through and I’m even more relieved by that. They aren’t disgusting like a good majority of the undead have.
“Amazing.” I whisper, surprising myself again.
There was no hesitation, no stuttering to get that simple little word out. I just said it, plain as day. Another indicator that I’m not like what bit me. As Charlie stated in my dream, I’m something different. I don’t know what that is yet, but I’m almost hoping to find out.
I pull myself away from the mirror and walk out of the bathroom. With every step, my body loosens and I feel even better. I feel stronger, like I could take on the world. I can see everything in this store as though the lights are on. Darkness doesn’t seem to have an effect on me. I don’t know what that will mean in the morning when the sun is out, but for now, it’s a good thing.
There’s a stack of clay pots right next to me. It’s stacked about as high as my head with the bottom facing up. I place a hand on the pots and feel every rough spot in the clay. I can feel where the tiny bumps where the material didn’t hold as well, something I don’t think I would have noticed before. I take my hand away and stare at the very top of the stack.
“Vamps can jump even higher and not get hurt. Wonder if I can.” I say to myself, elated that I can make complete sentences.
I step back and face the stack of pots. It doesn’t seem so high. I think I can do it. I bend my knees a little, keeping my eyes at the top of the stack. As if I have done this a million times, I jump the five and a half foot high stack and land perfectly on the top. It wobbles a bit, making me feel off balance. That makes the stack start to tilt and I can feel it falling out from under me. I
look around. There’s an aisle nearby with a perfect top shelf for me to land on. Just as the pots tip over for good, I leap through the air and land with both feet on the shelf.
The crash from the pots echoes through the store and fills my ears with so much sound it’s almost unbearable. Everything is louder than before and I have to plug my ears to drown it out. The pots stop breaking and the echoes stop bouncing from wall to wall. I uncover my ears and listen for something to come next. I don’t think anything else is here with me, but there’s always a chance. It is nighttime and vamps could be lurking in the shadows here.
I listen to the silent air for a few minutes and nothing happens. No groaning from zombies and no vampires rushing to get me. I’m completely alone and this is just like a big playground for a person who wants to figure out what all they’re capable of doing.
There’s a metal pipe above me with water spigots spread out to spray the plants. It’s just a couple feet above my head. I don’t think a normal human being could jump and catch it, but I have a feeling I can do that very thing.
I bend my knees again and leap into the air. I reach my hands out and grab onto the pipe and pull myself up, setting my feet on it to kneel. The pipe sways back and forth, but I feel stable. I feel in control of everything I’m doing and slowly begin to stand. There’s nothing for me to hold onto once I let go of the pipe at my feet, but it stays steady. I’m not losing my balance and I don’t feel like I’m going to topple over and crash to the shelves below me.
I take a few baby steps, just to get in the rhythm. The pipe moves slightly with each step. I put one foot in front of the other until it seems easy as pie, then I pick up the pace. The thing might be swaying under my feet, but I feel on top of the world right now. My feet move faster until I’m running across the pipe. I don’t look down, I just keep my eyes ahead of me with a smile on my face.
The end of the pipe is coming up fast. There’s a tall, metal gazebo not far from the end. I run a little faster and push myself off the pipe. It feels like I’m flying through the air as I reach out for the top of the gazebo. I grab one of the posts and flip myself around it, let go and land on the floor. I brush the hair from my face and look around for the building’s exit.
The world outside should be even more incredible, more vivid with this new life of mine. I can’t wait to experience it all. The door is just past a few dead plants on the ground, right behind the registers. I wonder how fast I can run now. Those vamps can run pretty fast and you can miss them if you’re not too careful. I move away from the gazebo, making sure I have a straight shot to the door. There’s a pallet with bags of dirt I’ll have to leap over, but that’s a piece of cake.
My hands clench into fists and I make a mad dash to the door. I can barely feel my legs moving as the rest of the store blurs past my eyes. The pallet of dirt came and went, not getting in my way at all when I leapt over it. I push through the door, letting the glass shatter as it hits the wall and I rush outside.
I stop running a few feet outside the store and look around. These new eyes of mine are amazing. Everything is so clear and magnificent. The colors are more alive. I’ve never experienced just how true every color I’ve come across really is until this very moment. The green of the grass, the grey rocks under my feet, even with the sun below the horizon, it’s all so fantastic. The stars are like tiny candles sparkling against the dark canvas above me. There’s millions of them, more than I’ve ever been able to notice before.
I breathe in through my nose, taking in every wonderful scent. Everything I smell is even better than before. The grass, the trees, even the air smells amazing. I can practically taste the things I’m smelling and I can’t wait to come across other aromas.
I feel like I’ve been missing out on these senses my whole life and it’s a great feeling to have them now. Knowing I can do things I was never capable of doing, or seeing things I could never imagine seeing before. For lack of a better word, it’s so wonderfully amazing.
I look back to the world in front of me when something no so great passes through my mind. I just ran like a bat out of hell in that store. I’m not winded, I’m not tired, and I don’t feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest. In fact, I don’t feel it beating at all. That’s the least amazing thing I could feel right about now. It pretty much ruins everything I just thought was great.
Quickly, I lift my hand and place it on my neck, checking for a pulse. I don’t get one. I press two fingers to my wrist. Still no pulse. Finally, I place my hands on my chest, right over my heart and focus on feeling the one thing I need to feel right now. It feels like years have gone by with me standing like an idiot with both my hands on my chest, not feeling the most important thing a human needs to feel.
I let my hands fall to my side and every feeling of glee and happiness escapes me. I died back there in that bathroom. My heart no longer beats. Of all the things that had to happen, this is the worst. This is the one thing that makes me practically identical to those monsters who did this to me.
Without a heart, how can I feel anything for anyone I come across? How could I face a human and be able to hide the fact that I am now a member of the undead? How could I ever face Ryder again if I were given the chance? Would he hate me or would he fear me?
I really hate when my mind thinks of all these annoying questions. My life is already hard to deal with. I don’t need those to make things worse.
I turn around and sulk back inside the store. I still don’t know what time of night it is and I’d rather not take the risk of getting caught outside when the sun comes up. There’s no saying if I’ll be like the vampires in that situation or not. Obviously, I’m hoping I’m not like them, but you never know. I am the newest being to walk the face of the earth and there’s really no telling what I can do.
* * *
I found a nice spot under the cashier’s desk inside the store after my unfortunate discovery about my new form. This spot is not the most comfortable spot in the world to hide. My knees are bent and my head is about an inch from hitting the underside of the desk. But, I figured when the sun comes up, I’ll be safe. I don’t want to risk being more like a vamp than I already feel. I’ve seen how so many of them die and it’s not pretty. It actually seems very painful and I’m not much into that. After feeling my body go through the worst change on the planet, roasting in the sun is far from what I would like to do. Thinking about it kind of makes me feel sorry for the few I’ve destroyed that way.
I’m still trying to find a pulse somewhere on my body. I check every spot I know of and always come up disappointed. At one point, I even squeezed one of my fingers so hard, trying to cut off the blood circulation in hopes of feeling a pulse, and still there was nothing. My finger didn’t even turn purple like it would normally do if there was blood flow in my body. It’s a weird thought knowing I’m alive yet I don’t have a pulse anymore.
Sleep is another thing I couldn’t find overnight. I never felt tired the few hours that were left of the night and my eyes never got heavy. I closed them, hoping I’d fall asleep just so time would pass by faster. Dreamland never came and I stared at the wall for a good majority of the night. One thing that helped time pass a little more swiftly, was thinking of Ryder.
I can still picture his face and see his perfect smile. His voice echoes in my ear and I thank my lucky stars that I didn’t forget him. That would have destroyed me. I wish I knew what he’d think of me right now. I’m not really human anymore and I’m not exactly one of the other two things either. I’m my own being and it makes me wonder if he’d be afraid of me. He could take one look at me and see that I’m different then shoot me in the head to end it all. Or he could look past what I’ve become and still be in love with me. The worst part is not knowing how he’d react. I’ll never see him again, so I’ll never know.
Wow. That thought just about kills me all over again. Never seeing Ryder again is worse than anything else in the world. I’m sure they went back to the
city and gave up searching for the village. No matter how hard Ryder probably fought to chase after me, they would have made him go back to the city with one less person in the group. He’s safer behind those walls and he knows it. He doesn’t need to risk his life to come after me. I could be an even bigger threat to the human race and I’d rather die than let that happen.
It’s better this way. It’s better that I never get to see him again.
So, here I am, still crouched under the cashier’s desk with a stiff body. The sun came out a little while ago and I’m afraid to come out of hiding. With the skylights above me and the sun shining all over the place, there’s not much room for me to hide in case the sun decides to boil my skin.
There’s still some shade over this part of the store. The skylights are mainly over the midsection to provide light for the plants that used to be here. I have some room to play with before worrying about the sunlight. I move my stiff body and crawl out of hiding. I feel every muscle stretch and pull against me as I get to my feet. I raise my arms over my head and stretch as much as I can to loosen up. A sharp cracking sound comes from my neck as I pop it. It sounds like it would have hurt, but I didn’t feel much of anything.
I glance around the store. My eyes are having a hard time adjusting to the morning light. It kind of hurts looking around the place, not a bad pain, just an annoying one. I squint and move away from the register. My feet take me to the glass door at the front of the store and I keep my distance. The sun is shining even brighter right here making it much harder for me to see. I’m thinking it has something to do with the change in my eyes. I might have to do something about that.
