Her Love and Regrets (Book I)

by Chevelle Allen

  “You can’t…but I may not be able to get out there in a few weeks like we planned. I’m so sorry.”

  “I told you if it was a problem, I’d try to get back there and I will.”

  “That’s just it, even if you came for a weekend, I can’t promise I’ll be able to spend time with you the way I’d want.”

  “We’ll work it out…if that’s what you want.”

  “Don’t do that! Don’t ever doubt again that I want to be with you.”

  “I know. I really do. That’s why I know we’ll work it out. We have to.”

  She began to strategize about how best to tackle this situation before it became an untenable issue. They had been through that before. The fact they had managed to find a way back to one another was too important to allow anything to thwart their new lives together.

  CHAPTER 39

  The next day, Janine had a different level of energy leading her to methodically carry out her duties with speed and efficiency. She called each of her program officers into her office to confirm their assignments, get updates and priorities for the remainder of the year. It was important that the next cycle of grant funding went smoothly and met the new priorities set forth by the board of directors. As she met with each of her officers, she was grateful to have such a remarkable team of highly skilled and dedicated people. She couldn’t help but be proud of the work they accomplished. As the day drew to a close, she placed a call to Leland Remington, board chair and patriarch of the Remington family.

  “Hello?” He had a strong Mid-western accent couched in a husky voice that seemed askew to his lean physical appearance and immaculate tastes.

  “Hello Lee, it’s Janine.”

  “Janine! This is a pleasant surprise. How are you?” he said with his usual cheerfulness.

  Leland Remington was a man who was among the most unassuming she’d ever met—especially given his incredible personal wealth and that of the Foundation.

  “I’m good, thanks! How’ve you been since we last chatted?”

  “Pretty good. My knees have been acting up a bit, but if I stay off the courts, I should be fine. At least that’s what my orthopedist says!” he said with a chuckle. “I assume you are calling about the upcoming executive committee meeting.”

  “In a manner, yes.”

  “What can I do for you?”

  “I need to take a leave of absence.”

  His tone shifted to one of duty and concern. “For how long?”

  “I’m not sure. I have a personal matter I must attend to and I need time to do that.”

  “You’re not sick are you? We have great doctors. Just let me know and I’ll…”

  “No, no! Nothing like that…but it is personal. I want you to know I’ve made sure things will continue to operate well while I’m away. That’s of course assuming you’ll grant my request.”

  “I have little doubt you are making stellar arrangements. Have you informed the staff?”

  “Of course not, I wanted to talk with you first. I want to assure you everyone is on task according to the strategic plan.”

  “Can I ask what this is leave is about? And for how long?”

  Over the course of the past ten years—first as foundation’s attorney and then as its CEO—Janine built a strong working relationship and a good friendship with Leland Remington despite all their cultural and social differences. He was the one person aside from Neil Elliott that championed her becoming the CEO despite her age. Leland felt her youth, intelligence, and analytic skills were exactly what the foundation needed to face the challenges of a 21st century world. In addition, he was impressed with her desire to bring about transformative and lasting change in the nonprofit world. Few challenged him when he presented her to the board without an exhaustive executive search process.

  “Are you a romantic, Lee?”

  He let out a hearty laugh before saying, “My wife would say no—but I think I know where you’re going with this. How much time do you need?”

  “I’m not certain, but at least three months. It could become permanent if things go as expected. But I’m prepared to step down immediately if that’s preferred.”

  “I see. Your stepping down would disappoint me, and the rest of the board. I can assure you. You’ve more than proven yourself in the last five years. You, young lady, have been a Godsend. How private do you want to keep the reason for the leave?”

  “That’s up to you.”

  “I’ll have my assistant and Betty arrange a conference call with the full board to bring them up to speed after the executive committee meeting. All they need to know right now is it’s a private matter.”

  “Do I have your support for the request, Lee?”

  “Of course! I must say he is a fortunate young man. But if you don’t mind my asking, I thought you were dating someone here in Indianapolis.”

  “Ethan and I are just very good friends. My love… he’s not here in Indy.”

  “No chance we could get him out here?”

  Leland certainly could make that happen. But Janine knew it would never work and it wasn’t likely something Michael wanted either.

  “No, but it’s sweet of you to ask. He’s actually doing pretty well with his own law practice in Washington.”

  “Please don’t tell me he’s a politico!”

  “No, he’s not,” she chuckled.

  The remainder of their call was spent working out details and planning for the conference call. They agreed—should it be required— an immediate leave raised too many questions. Instead, Janine would carry out her duties working remotely in Washington four to six weeks with a few trips as needed to Indianapolis over the next few months. If things progressed as she hoped they would, then they would begin the search process for her replacement. It was clean and kept media speculation to a minimum giving the appearance of sufficient notice.

  Once they both felt comfortable with their agreement, Janine said, “Thank you, Lee! I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me. You’re always so wonderful to me.”

  “It’s my profound pleasure. I want you to know my family and I appreciate everything you’ve done on our behalf over the years. If there is any way I can return the favor, please don’t hesitate to let me know. And I mean it, young lady.”

  She knew he was deeply sincere. “Thank you, Lee.”

  As much as she loved her work, she knew arrangements at the foundation were easy to make because ultimately it was about business. By the week’s end, the board was informed of her planned leave and staff had been told she’d be working out of D.C. for a few months. Press releases to the media wouldn’t go out until the following week, giving her the privacy she needed to make this personal transition. There were only a few other personal details to work out. She had run all the options through her mind. Without a doubt this was the most spontaneous and risky thing she had ever done—but she had to do it. She loved Michael and she was determined to make it work this time.

  The drive from Indianapolis to Washington was a little under ten hours—if the traffic was good. She’d been on the road for five hours and needed a break and gas. She deliberately left late morning in hopes of missing rush hour traffic in both cities. But even getting into the city from I-70 could be a challenge regardless of the time of day. It had been a while since she had driven this far, but her adrenalin kept her on schedule along with her favorite playlist blaring through the car’s audio system. Whenever thoughts crept into her head about how foolish it was to make the trip without calling first, she managed to push them aside and focus on his words to her…I loved you more than I was afraid.

  She arrived at the extended stay hotel in Washington a little after nine o’clock exhausted and hungry. The staff was friendly helping her get her things to her room. When she entered the suite, she was pleased it was larger than anticipated. The views of the bustling street below were a welcome change from the quiet she experienced most nights in her quaint Lockerbie Square neighborhood. Once
settled, she realized she was more tired than hungry so she undressed and went to bed.

  The next morning, she was very hungry but she could barely eat due to her nervous stomach. Even the coffee caused a bit of heartburn. Unable to finish it, she decided to take a shower and get dressed. Michael’s law office was located on I Street not too far from where she was staying. The area was a hub for nonprofit organizations, various associations and law practices. The office leases were higher in the area, but it was ideal for the kind of work he was doing.

  It was a little after nine o’clock and she considered heading over to the office, but felt it might be a bit intrusive first thing in the morning. If his office was anything like hers, the calls would be at their heaviest and the staff would be sorting out the day’s duties. She opted instead to wait until eleven o’clock before making her way there.

  After entering the building, the security guard asked her to sign in and she made her way up to the seventh floor. Stepping off the elevator, she saw the sign directing her to Josey and Associates down the hall to the left. Her feet had never felt so heavy. Her heart pounded mercilessly in her chest. As she opened the office suite door, a young man greeted her.

  “Hello! Welcome to Josey and Associates. How may I help you?”

  “I’m here to see Michael Josey, please,” she said still trying to steady her pounding heart.

  “I’m sorry but Mr. Josey is in conference. Do you have an appointment with him?”

  She knew it was presumptuous as hell to show up at his place of business unannounced. But a part of her hoped she would still be able to see him—if only for a few minutes. “No, I don’t.”

  “Perhaps one of our other attorneys can help you,” the young man offered.

  “No thank you. I need to see him. Is he free at all today? I can wait or perhaps I could come back later.”

  The young man’s desk plate read Ricardo Gomez. He was polite but very curious about the woman standing in front of him.

  “Perhaps if you leave your name, he may be able to call you to arrange a time to meet. But I can tell you his schedule is fairly full today. Again, one of our other attorneys would be happy to help you.”

  Janine decided to stop being so illusive. “Mr. Josey and I attended law school together. I’m in town unexpectedly. I thought I’d drop by to say hello…even if I can only get a few minutes of his time. I don’t want to impose more than I have.”

  “I see. What is your name again please?”

  She hadn’t offered it the first time he asked but she obliged him this time, hoping it would get her in. “Janine Powell. CEO of the Remington Foundation.”

  The young man’s eyes grew wide. Even though this was a law firm, there was little doubt he knew the foundation.

  “I’ll see what I can do Ms. Powell.”

  “Thank you! And again, I don’t mind waiting.”

  “Please have a seat. May I offer you coffee or water?”

  “No, I’m fine.”

  “If you’ll give me a few minutes, I’ll see what I can do.”

  “Thank you very much. I appreciate your help.”

  “Of course, Ms. Powell.”

  With nervous energy, Ricardo immediately started typing out a message on his computer and pulled out his cell phone to send a text. Janine could only assume he was trying to get a message to Michael.

  After about ten minutes, Ricardo came over to where she sat. “Ms. Powell?”

  “Yes?”

  “Mr. Josey asks that I have you wait in his office. He expects to conclude his conference shortly. I’ll be happy to take you, if you’ll follow me.”

  “Certainly.”

  She followed him down the hallway to an office at the very end of the corridor. She noticed there were at least six other offices along the way. Each was either crammed with papers or had family photos placed prominently. Only two were occupied as she passed and neither person looked up. Ricardo opened the door and let her into Michael’s office. He invited her to sit in one of the chairs facing the desk.

  “Are you sure I can’t get you anything?”

  “I’m fine…really! Thank you so much for all your help, Richardo.” She sat down in the chair as he exited.

  While waiting, she scanned the space taking in how Michael chose to decorate it. His undergraduate and JD/MBA degrees were nicely framed and hung to the left over a lovely deep brown leather sofa with brass upholstery tacks. The desk in the middle of the room was fairly compact for the size of the space, but behind it was a credenza with file boxes sitting on top. Everything was neat and orderly. To her right were large wooden shelves with legal reference books and larger openings that held photographs of his parents and siblings and their families.

  As she continued looking around, she heard people coming down the hall. She dared not turn around since none of them sounded like Michael. The waiting was killing her. She had no idea exactly what she was going to say other than Hi. She fidgeted in her seat a bit and checked her cell phone for email messages. When she heard the door close behind her, she turned around to see him standing with a look of complete shock on his chiseled face.

  “Janine!”

  “Hi,” she said as she stood from the chair.

  “When did you get in? What’s going on?”

  She walked towards him. “Last night. I’m sorry about not calling first, but…”

  He hugged her tightly while kissing her face and neck as if he were trying to confirm that she was really there.

  “Now may not be the best time for this. Ricardo says your schedule is pretty full today, but I was hoping we could get together later… at home?”

  “Janine, what’s going on?”

  She took a deep breath. “I’m here because I love you…and it sounds like you could use a little help around here.”

  “What are you talking about?” Genuine confusion crept onto his face.

  She began slowly, “I don’t want to be without you anymore. So I’m here…to be whatever you need…whenever you need it. Personally or professionally.”

  He listened intently before asking her, “This is crazy! When do you have to go back to Indianapolis?”

  “Hopefully, I won’t be going back. I can put my house on the market in a few months. The search for my replacement at the Foundation will begin around the same time…that is if you want me.”

  It was clear by the look on his face he couldn’t believe what she was saying. He brought his hand to his mouth stroking his jaw, as his eyes grew wider at this new information.

  “Are you telling me you’re giving up your job?”

  “Basically…yes.”

  “Do you have an offer here in DC?”

  “No. But I’m a seasoned attorney with a range of skills in the nonprofit world—the least of which is my work for the foundation. So it shouldn’t be too hard for me to find something.“ She took a deep breath before continuing. “But I’d be happier helping out around here until you find a more permanent solution.”

  “Why are you doing this?”

  “Because you said you loved me. Because you said you wanted to wake up with me each morning and lie beside me each night. Did you mean it?”

  He moved in close hugging her even tighter than before. “You know I did.”

  “We can’t do that if I’m out there and you’re here. We tried that before and it didn’t work…remember?”

  She leaned in kissing him on one cheek, then the other before moving to his lips. He held her face in his hands returning her soft kisses with deeper ones as his tongue entered her mouth.

  As their kiss came to an end, he said softly, “Baby, I can’t believe you did this.”

  She giggled. “I can’t believe I did it either. I’ve spent so many years running from us because I was afraid of losing myself to you. The truth is I’ve been hopelessly lost without you.”

  “Janine…” his tone went from excitement to concern. “Baby, are you absolutely sure? Is this really what you want? I
don’t want you to give up what you love.”

  “Yes. And I love you more. I know I’m not easy to deal with sometimes. But yes, this is exactly what I want. I want you. I want us.”

  “Let me get Ricardo to move some things around and we’ll get you settled at my place, okay?”

  “No. You go take care of your clients. I’ll meet you back here later and we’ll go from there.”

  “No. You gave up your job to come here, and you’re offering to help me—we’re going home. We’re going to get you settled…and have a nice dinner and then we’re going to...”

  “We’re going to what?” she asked with a coquettish grin.

  “Work on the rest of our lives together.”

  “I like your plan even better.“

  THE END