The Lost Power: VanOps, Book 1

by Avanti Centrae

  “Thanks for thinking about it--that’s all a girl can ask. You mean why did my butt get kicked, too?”

  “In a nutshell, yes. If aikido is so great, why’d we lose those weapons?”

  “This is why I need some practice. I got ticked off watching your pretty little head hit the pavement. Their knife and the bully stick freaked me out, too. I was already off balance all morning and didn’t focus well. I should have been able to neutralize all four of those attackers by myself--that’s the kind of stuff we practice.” Her face grew pink with shame, and she looked down. “The reality of a fight, I’m learning, is just different. The truth is: I choked.” Shyly, she looked back up at him. “I’m sorry.”

  Will met her gaze. “No harm done.”

  She smiled. “Just your head. Maybe it knocked some sense into you.”

  “My head is fine. Good luck trying to knock some sense into it. We can try to find weapons again once we get to Bagan. Or maybe in Mandalay, where we land. It’s a bigger town.”

  “I’m glad we got the disposable cell phone, though. We can use it in one of the airports along the way. Turn the lemons of all those stops into some sort of lemonade. I want to check on AJ.”

  “That first stop here in Europe would be better. In case the call is traced, we don’t want an Asian connection. I need to make sure that walrus cop isn’t after my hide, too.”

  “Good points.” She stood. “I’m going to see if Bear will train with me. I need some practice.”

  “Wait. Maddy.” There was an odd tone in his voice. Like a pleading uncertainty. Strange, maybe he was hurt worse than she thought.

  She sat back down next to him and raised an eyebrow, questioning how she could help.

  “I’m wondering--” His voice caught in his throat. “I’m wondering how you dealt with your fears. You know. Back in Jerusalem.”

  She softened her voice. “Feeling freaked out?”

  “Yeah. A little. More than usual anyway. Had nightmares of my own last night. Falling dreams.” He looked around nervously. His eyes lit on Bear. “And this whole thing. Knives. Guns. Bad guys. Russians. Superconductors. E-bombs. Slinking around in alleys. Getting my head whacked. Yes, my head is spinning.”

  “Wait, from the concussion?”

  “No, from us on the run.”

  “I see.”

  “Part of me wants to ride like the wind out of here and go get lost in Alaska.”

  She put a hand on his arm for a moment to comfort him. “I understand that.”

  “But you’re not freaked out. You faced down that guy in Jerusalem after dealing with the heights, the spiders. You even mastered the tunnel.” He smiled and she ruffled his dark curls fondly. “What’s your secret sauce? What did Samuel mean when he said I have to go in to get out?”

  “‘Going in is the only way out,’” she quoted.

  “Yes, that’s what he said. What did he mean? Did you have to go into something?”

  She hugged her knees. How to say this in a way his engineering mind can understand? “It’s a methodology. A procedure of sorts. It’s a ‘how-to’ shortcut for dealing with emotions that aren’t serving you.” She looked him in the eyes and tried to put compassion and understanding in her gaze. “Like fear.”

  He swallowed. “Sounds useful right about now.”

  “I’m no expert yet, but what I’m learning is that if you feel the feeling you don’t like, it will go away and stop tormenting you. That’s what I did at the tunnel. It was the only way I could move beyond outright terror. But when I sat there and took the time to just be with it, it was scary for a minute, but I stuck with it, and it sort of dissolved.”

  “Really? Dissolved?”

  “Like cotton candy in my mouth. Like going into the center of the tornado and finding it calm in there. Seriously, though, it brought back an icky memory with it. I don’t know if that always happens, but I think that might have been what I was resisting. At any rate, it seems to have freed up some energy, and I’ve been able to start feeling my ki, or the Power, now, too.”

  “That sounds like more fun than feeling fear.”

  “It is.” She smiled. “‘Listen and feel the Power.’”

  “What’s that mean?”

  “Another saying from Edith. It means that once you quiet your mind, you can start to feel the Power that is everywhere, even inside us.”

  Will tapped his fingers on his leg. “Is this some mystical martial arts woo woo?”

  “No. As a matter of fact, she told me our military is training soldiers in mindfulness.”

  “Interesting. They probably research the hell out of things like that.”

  “I’m sure they do. But why don’t you see for yourself? Let me know when you’ve gone inside enough to deal with those fears and quiet your mind. Then we’ll see. Deal?”

  He smiled nervously. “Sure. Do I need to know anything else before I ‘go in’? Some ancient secret Chinese breath technique?”

  She swatted his arm. “You’re hopeless. Just breathe into the feeling.”

  “Okay. Maybe I’ll lie here and rest for a bit and try it.”

  “Just remember, it might get worse before it gets better, but your emotions won’t kill you. You’re safe. Bear and I will be right over there.”

  “Thanks, Sis.” He stretched out his lanky frame on the blanket. “Have fun practicing. Maybe you should deal with your resistance to handsome over there. I think he likes you.”

  “Oh stop.” So much for a good conversation.

  She walked over to where Bear hit near the same spot on a tree with each of his knives. He does have nice shoulders. If only he were taller.

  CHAPTER 56

  Baltic Airspace, July 16, 2:25 p.m.:

  On the flight to Myanmar, Will was relieved that they’d left the airport without a hitch, even though the phone calls with the prepaid phone hadn’t gone well. He was worried that Interpol already had him on their radar, or that the Russians had found some way to track them down. But they’d been able to move on.

  He was feeling his oats today, or maybe it was the couple of tiny bottles of airplane alcohol he’d drunk on the first flight. With his fear of heights, his flying formula was always to finagle an aisle seat and then drink his way into oblivion so that he couldn’t look out the window or think too much about being thousands of meters in the sky, hurtling through the air at several hundred kilometers an hour, in what amounted to a tin can.

  Today, however, Providence had given him a window seat and he decided to sit there. Not only did he not feel like bargaining with Maddy over her middle seat, but he also, truth be told, felt a twinge of guilt about falling asleep yesterday in the meadow instead of trying to deal with any of his fears, which were still irritating the hell out of him. By sitting near the window, he knew he was setting himself up for a small test of his own. But on his own terms.

  Maddy sat next to him, with Bear napping to her left.

  Ten minutes after takeoff, she put down her paperback thriller--isn’t living this adventure enough?--and turned to Will. “What can we do about AJ?”

  “I don’t know. You were right again, though. Your true dreams are downright creepy.”

  Maddy pulled her hair over her shoulder. “I just wish for once they’d tell me something useful, like how to help him.”

  “That would be nice. Let’s recap what his foster mom told you. Maybe we can think of something.”

  “Okay. She told me that he went missing in the park. They were down at Golden Gate watching a comedy festival. Ellen DeGeneres was there. It was a big deal.”

  Will cupped his chin in his hand and stroked his beard. “Four days ago.”

  “Right. He played Hula Hoop with some girls--”

  Will interrupted, “Already a ladies’ man, a lad after my own heart.”

  “Good grief.” Maddy rolled her eyes. “Anyway, the girls were the last ones to see him. The foster mom, Alice, got scared after the show ended, and AJ was nowhere to be found. She c
alled the police. They canvassed the area.”

  “And forensics hasn’t found anything?” Will asked.

  “No. Foster mom thinks it’s a pedophile. Led him off and grabbed him in the bushes.”

  “She’s probably worried he’ll end up dead.”

  “Yes. She didn’t say that, but...” Maddy trailed off.

  “It is a possibility,” Will said.

  Maddy shuddered. “True. But my dream had our blond-haired archvillain in it.”

  The wheels turned in Will’s head. “Yes, that is disturbing.”

  “It is. What would he want with AJ?” Maddy asked.

  The idea clicked into place. “Insurance.” Will felt certain.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Assuming they exist, what if we find the obelisks inside the châsse first?”

  “I hope we do.”

  “Then if the sniper tracks us down later and we don’t give him what he wants, he has AJ as collateral.”

  “That bastard!” Maddy’s hand hit the paperback with a smack and her voice was loud enough that several people in the seats across the aisle looked their way. Bear continued to sleep.

  Will lowered his voice so that she would do the same. “What else could it be? If it is the Russian that has him.”

  Maddy scrunched her face in anger. “You’re probably right. I just hate the idea.”

  “That might be part of their plan, too. Tick you off. Get you off balance.”

  A thoughtful look entered her eyes. “That’s even more insidious. And it means our opponents may know something about working with energy themselves. Bad.”

  “Yes, bad. And based on the other phone call to Bella, we can’t ask the authorities for help.”

  “You mean how our sister indicated the Napa walrus, I mean officer, wants you back in for additional questioning?”

  “Yes, that,” Will said.

  “And has given you a week to return from your ‘vacation’ before he places you on that most wanted list?”

  Will felt sick about it. “Yes, that again.” He’d never been in trouble with the law before.

  “He wouldn’t be very helpful if he knew we were headed to Myanmar.”

  “No. We could use the CIA to get him off my back, but how do you call the agency exactly?”

  Her tone was light, “Hello? Nine-one-one operator? Could you connect me to the CIA? Yes, we’re trying to save the world here and could use your help. Yes, an artifact from a thousand years ago with unknown mystical powers. Yes, we think the Russians are after it, too, and want to kill us.”

  “I agree. We’d be the laughingstock of Langley. We need to find the châsse, see what’s inside, and if it does appear to be dangerous, involve them at that point.”

  “Makes sense to me. It’s our best chance to clear your name and save AJ. I’m going back to my book. It’s pretty good.”

  “Okay. I’m going to try not to look out the window.”

  But as she turned away, he was drawn to looking out and down.

  Small patches appeared so far below him that the landscape reminded him of the quilt that always used to lay folded at the foot of his Grandma Emma and Grandpa Max’s bed. How high in the air were they? The world spun, as he feared it would. He shut his eyes and gripped his hands together.

  Now I’ve done it! I’ll end up losing my lunch. What did she say yesterday that I was supposed to do? The only way out is in.

  After pushing the tiny gray button that only marginally reclined his seat, Will arranged an extra shirt under his head and tried to get comfortable.

  In. Go into the feeling. How the hell does one do that?

  Whenever he had these attacks of anxiety, he got dizzy and his stomach clenched. He decided to start with his stomach. It felt tight and hard.

  Go into the feeling. What does it feel like inside there?

  He was awkward and rusty, having spent most of his life trying not to feel these feelings. So, he tried breathing into the feeling.

  Whoa! That made everything worse--tighter. I am going to puke! Wait, she said it got worse before it got better.

  He controlled his breathing so he didn’t hyperventilate. Same breath in, same breath out. Breathe into that feeling.

  The tightness expanded, seemed to swallow him.

  Now he felt as if he were falling, as in his falling dreams, the feeling of being out of control made his head spin.

  Will was rooted to the airplane seat with terror.

  And then he was back in time, in his mom’s car, flying through the air and crashing, back when he was four. The memories were fresh and vivid.

  For the first time in a long time, he remembered the details of the car crash when Mom died. She and Grandma Emma had taken him to a friend’s birthday party down the road in Tahoe City. Maddy had been sick that day so she hadn’t gone. On the way home, black ice had caught their car, sent it flying over an embankment for what had seemed like the longest eternity ever, and then crashed into a tree with a huge crunching sound, painfully twisting his left arm and cutting his chin as the car door buckled on him. I’m not safe.

  From their silence, his mom’s open, staring eyes, and the blood on his grandmother’s face, he knew they were both dead. His screaming didn’t bring them back. Touching their faces and their blood didn’t wake them up. He was alone and not safe in that cold car.

  Eventually, he had to leave them to get help. He walked half a mile in the snow by himself with a broken arm and bloody chin, crying, eventually finding a home filled with strangers.

  Will allowed himself to feel all of it.

  Not safe anywhere.

  After a time, a switch, somewhere inside, turned.

  I am safe. Right here, right now, I am safe.

  It was a revelation.

  New feelings flooded through him, replacing the terror he’d glimpsed a moment before. He felt lighter, his stomach settled and his head was no longer dizzy. Wow--it worked. Touch and go there for a minute, but like Maddy said, it didn’t kill him.

  Not safe, he mused. All those feelings were based on that thought.

  From that psych class in college, he’d known the mind was a powerful thing. He recalled studies of athletes, using only visualization in their practice, who were able to outperform physically practicing teammates, but the implications here blew him away for a minute.

  It was as if he’d been seeing the whole world through a set of glasses that had the words NOT SAFE written on them. Especially elevated parts of the world. And what a different place it was when he took off the glasses.

  Will basked in the new feelings for a time, then he decided to test himself. With a sense of trepidation, he opened his eyes and looked out the window. He soon realized that it was a wonderful sight. He felt as if he were flying. He was a large bird, flying over the land. An oddly shaped blue jewel appeared in a field of green below, and he guessed it was a lake in the middle of a forest. It was beautiful. And didn’t make him sick. Grinning, he realized he passed his own test.

  After tapping her book to get her attention, he gave Maddy a huge smile and a thumbs-up. She looked at him, puzzled.

  “I’ll tell you later.” He’d tell her about his experience at a better time. This place was too public.

  He looked out the window again. In the distance, he could see mountains.

  The sight of the mountains brought him back to earth. Even with his paralyzing fear gone, he knew that they still had an uphill battle to find the Aragon châsse and make it home alive.

  And only a week until that walrus cop wanted him back in California. He was running out of time.

  CHAPTER 57

  Mandalay, Myanmar, July 17, 6:30 p.m.:

  The encrypted phone in Ivan’s pocket rang. He and AJ were in a dank hotel on the outskirts of Mandalay. His warder had gone to get food and supplies. Ivan didn’t like the odd-eyed man. Pyotr was no better than the idiot who’d almost gotten Ivan killed in Napa by disobeying orders. Swearing, he touched the bur
n scar on his face, hoping it wouldn’t scare his son back home.

  His son, the rebel, was so different from AJ. The red-haired child, although discomforted, had proven clever but cooperative. The sniper liked to think it was because he was treating the boy decently.

  Pyotr disagreed with his approach to the child, but Pyotr didn’t know everything. Sometimes a carrot worked better than a stick.

  Ivan answered the phone on the second ring with his left hand.

  His right hand was infected from the bite wound. With his disease, he registered no pain, but it would need to be professionally treated soon or he could endure lasting damage. It could even kill him.

  The encrypted, metallic-sounding voice on the phone held no pleasantries. “They have stopped in Bagan.”

  Ivan knew it was the baron and answered with the proper tone of respect. “Do our orders still stand?”

  “Yes. Be careful. Be sure before you act.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  The phone went dead in Ivan’s ear. As he put the phone back in his pocket, he reflected that his child’s life was in the baron’s dangerous hands. Like it or not, Ivan must do what needed to be done to keep his son safe.

  CHAPTER 58

  Bagan, Myanmar, July 17, 6:55 p.m.:

  Although riding on the oxen-drawn cart in Bagan was a novel experience, Maddy was ready to be done traveling.

  Yesterday, they were on the plane all day, spent the night in Mandalay, and, due to a lack of a working aircraft on the Mandalay to Bagan route, today had spent nine hours on the “seven-hour train.” Several passengers had brought chickens in cages along for the ride, which seemed amusing at first, but didn’t take long to lose its charm. Rather like the ox ride, the train had been fun for a minute, then bumpy and slow. It was an excruciating way to watch for those who might be following them.

  In the interest of time, they had decided to skip finding weapons for now. The decision both relieved Maddy and made her feel more exposed at the same time. Will was already feeling anxious about needing to be back in California in six days, and Maddy was feeling the same press of time.