THE CORBIN BROTHERS: The Complete 5-Books Series

by Lexie Ray

  “I mean that I’m sorry I haven’t been good with you,” I said slowly. “That it took me so long to accept you into this home.”

  “I understand. You don’t have to apologize to me.”

  “I really want to apologize. I’m embarrassed that I made you feel like you weren’t welcome here. I’m … disturbed, frankly, that I tried to turn you away.”

  “Tucker…” Amelia took my hand in hers and kissed it, moving as if she were in a waking dream. “I told you that I understood. We don’t have to keep going over it again and again.”

  “But I want to make it up to you. You have to tell me what to do to make things better.”

  “Things are already so good,” she insisted, her grip on my hand tightening. “Your family is great. I love living here and helping out. You never would’ve thought that a city girl like me could make it out here on the ranch, would you?”

  “You’re a natural rancher,” I replied, smiling, “but I know that I’ve wronged you.”

  “It was a perfectly natural way to react,” she reasoned. “I mean, hell, look what I did when I got that stupid note. I ran for it. As far away as I could find help.”

  “I still feel pretty fucking guilty, Amelia, if you’ll pardon my language.”

  She bit her bottom lip, then nodded to herself. “Okay. You feel guilty. You really want to make it up to me?”

  “Yes.” I leaned forward eagerly. “Tell me what I can do to make it up to you. Anything.”

  Amelia opened her mouth and shut it, then squeezed her eyes closed. “You could kiss me, Tucker Corbin.”

  It was my turn for surprise. After everything I’d done, and all this time, Amelia Banks wanted me to kiss her to make up for it? At the same time, a puzzle piece fell into place for me. The furtive glances, the strange feelings I’d been having while watching her start to feel at home on the ranch, the way she interacted with my family here … it made sense. I had feelings for her that I had tried to ignore, that I’d tried to push away and transform into exasperation, or contempt.

  No. The invitation to kiss Amelia opened my mind to the truth — I cared deeply about her. I always had. I cared so deeply for her that I’d been actively trying to push her away, to keep her safe from me while I tried to sort through all of my bullshit.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, quickly withdrawing her hand from mine. “I didn’t mean to suggest that you should do something you don’t want to do. I was an idiot — forgive me. You obviously don’t want to kiss me, and so I’d never want—”

  “Amelia.”

  “Yes?”

  “Shut up a second.”

  I seized her by the hand she’d just withdrawn and pulled her close.

  “Tucker, you don’t have to kiss me.” Her gray eyes were wide, and her chest heaved. “It was a stupid thing to suggest.”

  “Is it still stupid if I want to kiss you?”

  She pursed her lips to ponder that and I took advantage of her silence, pressing my mouth against hers, pulling back when she stiffened.

  “Don’t stop now,” she whispered, and I did the only thing I could do — obey. This time, her lips were primed and ready for me, soft and tender, slitting open to allow me to explore her mouth with my tongue. Her own tongue lay docile as I worked my way over it, then came alive, pushing against mine, participating, curious.

  We seemed to both understand that the kiss that had been offered and accepted was much more than a kiss, now. Careful not to break the tenuous connection we had made, we picked our way down the hallway and to the stairs. It felt like I kissed a different part of her with each step we took, sampling the salt that creased her neck, the soft tip of each finger, the short, silken strands of her cropped hair. Both of us had been working hard outside, under the beating sun, but she smelled perfumed to me, tasted intoxicating.

  There were no more questions, no more misunderstandings, no more awkward bursts of words. We both knew exactly what we wanted, and I pushed my bedroom door open, thankful for the fact that we were the only souls in the house.

  Our thighs hit the edge of the bed at the same time, and we tumbled gratefully onto it, neither of us bothering to take our arms from around each other to try and cushion the fall. There were much more important things to be concerned with, like the way her pelvis curved to my thigh, and how she used it to gently grind against.

  We examined the fit of our hands together, threading our fingers through each other’s, soft to hard, small to big, both of us clinging like we were drowning. I realized that if she spent more time working here on the ranch, those soft hands would grow hardened and calloused, like mine, and that was something to ponder, her palm on my cheek, my tongue tracing the lines that meandered there.

  Our clothes seemed to fall off of their own accord, bunched on the bed, then tumbling to the floor. She was tanned in all the right places, her face darkest of all from the time she’d been spending out in the sun, and I was only vaguely concerned with my rancher’s tan — toasted on my arms and face and pale everywhere else. She dragged kisses across my bare chest, her erect nipples tracing designs on my stomach as she did so, until I finally had to grab her and flip her on to her back when I couldn’t take the stimulation — or temptation — any longer. She parted her lips and panted up at me, and whatever illusions of restraint I’d entertained instantly evaporated. Somewhere in the back of my mind I’d wanted to take it slow, to leisurely explore her body, to sample every single part of it, to savor, but this wasn’t going to be that session.

  I positioned myself between her legs and lifted them. Amelia took over from there, no longer willing to be a passive partner. She wrapped her legs around my midsection and squeezed, surprising me with her strength. She might’ve been petite, but there was no way she wasn’t about to hold her own.

  Here, though, perfectly positioned to sink into her body, both of us breathing hard, as if we’d run a marathon, I paused.

  “Don’t stop,” she groaned, twisting a little beneath me, squeezing me even tighter with her legs.

  I’d been about to ask her if she was sure she wanted this, sure she wanted to do this with me, who had behaved so callously to her before, but seeing her so wanton and ready made me lose my mind. I cupped her breast with one hand, circling her taut nipple with my thumb, and used my other hand to guide me inside of her. She was so slick and inviting, and in spite of my resolve to go wild, I really did have to stop a moment, breathe hard, and wait for her to adjust. We clutched at each other, the way we fit together, and it was finally Amelia who moved, arching her back and pushing her pelvis even closer to mine, flexing inwardly.

  “Please,” she whispered.

  “Anything.”

  It took a while for us to strike up a rhythm that suited us — both of us had ideas on this matter. But when we did, it was magic, one of those things you knew had to end at some point, one way or another, but wished never would. I leaned down, completely covering her body with mine, and kissed her, tasting her arousal before slipping a hand between us.

  “Oh,” she said, succinctly summing up what she felt as I found her clitoris and oh-so-gently pressed against it.

  It was all downhill from there.

  She writhed against me as I pulsed that glorious part of her, and her desire and enthusiasm sent me over the edge. I came while sheathed inside of her, continuing to move until I was able to push her beyond the precipice to join me. I shouted myself hoarse, delighted to see her come completely apart, tension utterly released.

  We gently extricated ourselves from each other, and I think we both sank into a kind of twilight or slumber, because the next thing I knew, it was dark. The house outside my room was quiet, and I wondered if everyone was still working on the branding or if it was so late already that they had all gone to sleep. I felt a little guilty at reneging on my responsibilities, but I wouldn’t have changed anything.

  For the first time in a long time, I hadn’t dreamed while I slept.

  I could’ve chalke
d it up to utter exhaustion at the business of branding, or just a damn good orgasm, but part of me had to wonder whether the slight form beside me, her side softly rising and falling, had something to do with it. We’d somehow brought comfort to each other, and I was glad for it. We deserved comfort.

  And then, doubt wiggled its way inside me. What were we really doing here? What did this mean? We’d fallen into bed pretty naturally together, but now what? Was this a onetime deal, or would everything continue to grow? Did I want things to progress? Did she? What would they progress to?

  “Amelia?”

  “Hm?”

  I’d been so sure she was sleeping that I hesitated. I hadn’t actually wanted to say what I was about to say. I didn’t know how she would take it.

  “Tucker?”

  “Sorry. I just … had a question. I guess.”

  “What is it?”

  She rolled over, and I supposed I could at least be thankful the room was so dark. I didn’t have to watch her expressions change at what my brain had insisted I ask her.

  “Maybe I … I don’t know what I’m trying to say,” I babbled, my face burning. You would’ve thought I was some kind of blushing bride in bed with someone for the first time. I’d had plenty of experience in my day. I just hadn’t had the urge to ever since getting back to the ranch, and certainly not after everything that had happened in Dallas.

  Amelia had been my first since then, and something about that fact was fitting. Like we were helping each other heal or something.

  “You can tell me whatever’s on your mind,” she said. “We’ve been talking about everything under the sun today anyway.”

  “I guess I just don’t know what this is supposed to mean,” I said finally. It sounded bad coming out of my own mouth, and I cringed inwardly as Amelia didn’t answer for several long minutes.

  “What it means that we just had sex?” she asked. “Is that what you’re wondering?”

  “I think it is. I’m not sure. I don’t know about any of this.”

  “It doesn’t have to mean anything, Tucker,” she said. “We’re two adults who’ve been through some shit in their lifetimes — more shit than most people.”

  “Yeah…”

  “It doesn’t have to mean anything other than two people making themselves and each other feel good.” Amelia laid a hand on my chest, and something about that simple gesture made me put my arm around her and draw her closer.

  “Did it feel good?” I asked. “Did it make you feel good?”

  “Yes. It did.”

  I sighed, stroked the soft, short hairs on her head, wondered at the way the universe worked, was cautious enough to fear what was next for us.

  “Did being with me make you feel good?” she asked, hesitant.

  “It did,” I said quickly, afraid she’d assume I didn’t think she was good. “I guess I’m just hung up on making this mean something.”

  “What does it mean to you, if you think it has to mean something?” she asked.

  I traced a finger around the shell of her ear and thought hard about that. Never in a million years would I think that I would ever be naked and lying in a bed with my arms around Amelia Banks. It was strange the way the world worked sometimes.

  “I think it maybe means we’re meant to work things out together,” I said. “That we’re helping each other. That now that we’re together like this, we can start moving forward instead of looking backward, over our shoulders all the time.”

  The room was dark, but I could just make out the glistening of her eyes.

  “Tucker … he’s still out there.”

  I held her closer. “I know he might still be out there. That doesn’t mean he’s here with us.”

  I kissed her, and willed it so.

  He wasn’t here with us. He would never be here with us.

  Chapter 6

  After a single night spent together, it seemed like my whole life changed. It was bizarre and silly and wonderful and inexplicable. Maybe it was stupid, but I wondered whether the universe had somehow been waiting for Amelia and I to figure out we were good for each other.

  The first strange thing that happened was that the skies opened up and it poured cold, sweet rain for the first time in recent memory. The river rose so swiftly that we had to race to move the herd away from it, but we were whooping and screaming and crying tears of joy all the while. The parched land drank in the sheets of rain that fell; the powdery dirt that stung our eyes when the wind whipped up transformed into sticky mud. All of the animals turned wet, their coats matted, and we remembered what it was like to shiver instead of sweat.

  It was a welcome novelty, and a miracle.

  It rained all day and well into the night, and after Toby got put to bed, the adults had a huge party out in the soaking yard, drunk as skunks, in wet and muddy clothing that started coming off piece by piece until we were all leaping and dancing around in underwear, illuminated only by the lights from the porch reflecting off the raindrops. I kissed Amelia out there as the rainwater sluiced down our bodies, and I didn’t think anyone saw or cared, they were so absorbed in their own happiness. I even noticed Chance twirling Zoe around and around, doing a messy waltz as his sodden boxers hung dangerously low on his hips.

  Hunter was the one who had the opportunity and yanked them down. I swear to God it wasn’t me.

  The weatherman warned us to take it in stride, that even the torrential downpour hadn’t been enough to solve Texas’ drought outright, but there wasn’t any reason not to be optimistic. It rained once. It would rain again. The showers had paved the way for more chances in the future to end the drought. It was so easy to be positive.

  The second strange thing that happened as a sign of the universe approving of Amelia and me was that market prices for beef took a sudden upswing right as we were making a sale of part of the herd. Our returns were so much more than we’d planned for that for the first time in a long time, my brothers and I got paid. We’d been forgoing our paychecks for so long to ensure the ranch hands got properly compensated and the herd fed. We tried to get Chance to keep the extra money and add it to our dwindling emergency fund, but he wouldn’t hear of it.

  “Keep it,” he said. “Make an emergency fund of your own. Better yet, blow it on something you’ve been wanting. There’s no reason not to spend this cash on something a little frivolous. You’ve all worked hard earning this. It’s not much of a life if you don’t get to have any fun.”

  It was so out of character for him that I wondered if there had been something in the rainwater that had addled his brain. Still, though, it was nice to have a little cash to sit on — or to spend, as Emmett did immediately to boost his horse rehab project. In her free time, Amelia loved to go down there and stroke the horses waiting for treatment in their stalls, talking sweetly and giving them little treats of apples and carrots. I went down there to watch Amelia enjoy herself, and to see the progress of the facility, and was greatly surprised. Emmett and Peyton had built a house with an attached office, and the new money was going toward improved stables and corrals. It looked like a legitimate operation, and they were enjoying the increase of business that went along with it.

  The third strange thing that happened was that my nightmares simply evaporated.

  I didn’t trust the notion, at first, that they were actually gone. They had plagued me prolifically in recent months, and they had been a constant if infrequent companion ever since that night in the grave. But giving myself fully over to loving Amelia had somehow banished them. The first morning I woke up without an encore of that night in the grave, I was suspicious. The next night, it felt only lucky. But by the third night, I learned what it was to enjoy sleeping again — especially when I was sleeping next to someone I cared so deeply about. I was pragmatic about the nightmares. When next year’s anniversary rolled around for my night with Oscar Green, I fully expected them to return. I just vowed to enjoy myself while I could without them, tucked up against Amelia, relaxed
in the darkness.

  It was so easy to be happy now that I couldn’t even remember what it felt like to be sad or angry or unsure of myself anymore. Amelia had exorcised all of the negativity that had infected me recently. Her smiles and laughter lit me up from the inside out, and soon everyone else was smiling and laughing — even stoic Chance.

  Nobody called out the apparent thaw — and subsequent heat — of my relationship with Amelia, but I often caught winks and knowing smiles from everyone when we were gathered for dinner or some other reason.

  “For the record, I think it’s great,” Hunter said, pausing as he and Hadley were about to walk down to their cottage from the house following a wonderful meal Amelia had prepared all by herself to give Zoe a break. It had consisted of barbecued chicken, potato salad, homemade biscuits, corn on the cob, and a dizzying slew of desserts I could’ve sworn she was trying to fatten us up with. It had been a real treat to see Amelia flushed with the success of her meal and the praise of everyone who’d eaten it.

  “Dinner was great,” I said, distracted by the prospect of slipping beneath the covers with Amelia’s lithe body to try and quietly work some of these calories out.

  “Dinner was great,” Hunter agreed, “but I was talking about you and Amelia.”

  I raised my eyebrows at him, thinking I could bluff my way out of this conversation. “Me and Amelia and what?”

  “Don’t be stupid on purpose,” he said, laughing. “It’s too sad when you’re already so stupid on accident.”

  I gave him a light shove that just made him laugh harder. “I have literally not a single idea what you’re yammering about.”

  “Oh, stop stonewalling,” he said. “Everyone knows, and everyone thinks it’s great. You two are perfect for each other.”

  “Perfect?” Really? We were two imperfect people who had been dragged together by some joke of fate. It was strange to think of how well we were suited for each other, though.

  “You make each other happy,” Hunter said. “That’s what’s important. And your happiness is infectious. Everyone knows because you can’t help but notice the way you two are when you’re around each other. Like nothing bad will ever happen.”