by Wild, Cassie
I sighed, torn. “I keep feeling, somehow, like this is wrong. Like we shouldn’t be doing what we’re doing.”
His face fell.
“But,” I continued, “I think if I tell myself to shut up and give in often enough, I’ll forget why I was so resistant in the first place.” I smiled. “I want to see you again too.”
Chapter 10
Preslee
I needed to get a grip on my life. So much had already slipped through my fingers due to my comatose state, I couldn’t let myself fall further down the rabbit hole. I prayed that my memory would eventually return, but I couldn’t keep waiting.
When Kris dropped me off, he hopped out of the car and opened the door, cornering me in the small space between his body and the car. He towered over me, all raw muscle and heat. The way he bit his lip as his eyes roved my body made me forget the hesitation I felt at the diner. His pupils dilated as he sucked in a breath. With a groan, he closed the sliver of distance between us. I opened for him, moaning into the warm dance of his tongue massaging mine. His heat wrapped me in a cocoon of safety and need as I pulled him even closer.
“We have to stop,” he panted, pulling away suddenly. The air between us grew cold and empty, but his eyes were far from it. “As much as I want to throw you over my shoulder and take you in the stairway, I doubt the neighbors would appreciate the noise.”
His words lit a fire down to my core. “You’re right,” I pouted, ducking under his arm and climbing the stairs to my temporary home.
Kris wanted a place in my life, but I didn’t even have one. I needed to sort through what I did have and come up with a plan. As I settled at the tiny kitchen table, I made a list of everything I needed. Since my purse still hadn’t been found, and with it, my wallet and all forms of identification, I had to request copies.
Ava had made sure to take a box she’d found in my room, full of important documents such as my passport and birth certificate. She’d filled out a change of address card for me at the post office too, so all of my mail would be routed to her instead of to my old apartment. So at least that was done.
Now, on to the rest.
She went with me to the DMV where I got a new driver’s license, after explaining what happened and providing the documents they requested. I hadn’t expected them to be so understanding, but they were.
“Let’s write this one down for posterity,” Ava joked as we were leaving. “A pleasant, helpful experience at the DMV.”
Thanks to Ava’s brilliance, I was also able to get a new credit card after calling the company and giving them my social security number – with the help of the card from the box of documents – to verify my identity.
“You didn’t even have a balance on it,” she told me. “You always paid it right off.”
She had kept all of the bills organized and checked that there weren’t any suspicious charges while I was in the hospital. I was thrilled to see over five thousand dollars in my bank account. I could start paying my own way, help Ava with food bills and buy some clothes that actually fit.
Next was the matter of going to school to see my advisor. I had no intention of being away from college any longer than I needed to, and I definitely didn’t want to pass up on the opportunity to take advantage of a scholarship.
“Your friend explained the situation, Preslee,” Professor Morgan told me when I sat down in his office. “I’m so glad to see you’ve recovered.”
“And I’m so grateful for how supportive the school has been,” I told him.
With the rest of my mail was a series of letters from the college, assuring me that my scholarship still stood. Rather than failing me, since I hadn’t finished the semester, they put me on hold. That way I didn’t have to lose the money because of poor grades and a failure to register for classes in the spring semester.
“You have the option of making up the work on your own this semester and returning full-time in the Fall,” my advisor told me now. “You were earning straight A’s in every course. All of your instructors were impressed. I know that they would be happy to work with you to help keep your college career moving in the right direction.”
I agreed to his plan and hoped that my memory would return by the start of the following semester. Without my memories of previous classes, it would be like starting from scratch. By Thursday, my list of things to do had shrunk, and at the top was what Ava was calling “Operation: Get Preslee a Job.”
Thankfully, my resume was still saved on my laptop. I’d apparently used it to land the job I’d had when I’d had my accident.
“Preslee, it’s so good to hear your voice again.” Surprisingly, the HR person sounded happy to hear from me.
“Thanks,” I replied. I had no idea exactly who she was and what our relationship had been like, of course, so I played it neutral. “I’m calling because I’m trying to update my resume and would like to speak to whomever would be able to tell me exactly what it was I did there, and my proficiency in the tasks I performed. My long-term memory was damaged in the accident, so I have no way of providing this information on my own. Also, is there any way to secure references or recommendations?”
“Sure, Preslee,” she said after a moment’s hesitation. “I know Tom would love to help you in any way he can.”
So my boss’ name had been Tom. Good to know. After a heartfelt conversation with my former boss, my resume was updated, and I was assured that I’d receive a glowing recommendation. All that was left to do was get an interview somewhere.
“What about this one?” Ava read aloud, “Executive assistant to high-powered CEO? Base pay is sixty grand a year.”
I shook my head. “Too much responsibility. And I don’t have enough experience.”
“What about office clerk?”
“I don’t think that pays enough, does it? I’m going to be paying off these medical bills for a long time.”
“Yeah,” she agreed. “This is only like ten dollars an hour.” She sighed.
“I’ll find something,” I assured her. “Maybe I just need to start thinking outside the box.”
“What do you mean?” I motioned toward my screen. I’d found several virtual assistant listings. “What if I took on a few clients and worked for them virtually? That would eliminate the need to commute, save on gas and car maintenance, and maybe even let me make my own schedule. What do you think?”
“Why not? Give it a shot,” she encouraged. “A lot of businesses are run virtually. See?” she quipped, giving me a playful punch on the arm. “I told you that you were smart.”
I laughed. “You know what, though?” I waited. “You’re pretty smart yourself.”
“Psssh,” she said, self-deprecating and dismissive as she waved off my comment.
“I mean it,” I insisted. “Look at everything you did for me. Looking for me, knowing what to save from my apartment so I could get my life together as easily as possible.” I put my laptop aside and turned to her. “You saved my life. You totally did. I don’t think I could ever repay you for everything you’ve done for me. You’re much smarter than you give yourself credit for.” I hugged her hard.
“Like I told you,” she whispered over my shoulder, “you’re all I have in the world. I take care of what’s mine.”
“Who told you that you weren’t smart?” I asked as I released her. A fierce loyalty to this girl had taken place over the last couple weeks. “They were dead wrong.”
She looked down at her nails. “My parents...they never exactly got awards for their parenting skills.” She shrugged. “I guess when people tell you you’re stupid enough, you start to believe them.”
I shook my head. I could only hope that I could be half the friend to her that she’d been to me. She deserved it.
***
“So I have a phone meeting with one potential client tomorrow, and another on Monday,” I told Kris over the phone on Friday morning. “It’s not a lot, but it’s a start. I know I can handle answering emails and sen
ding contracts out to people or whatever. Posting to social media. That sort of thing. And having that little nest egg in the bank makes me feel a lot more stable. Once I get some money rolling in, I’ll feel more confident finding a place of my own again.”
“That’s great, Preslee,” Kris said enthusiastically.
“Well, I had a lot of help. I hope that I can repay Ava someday. I really do.”
“I know. And I’m sure you’ll find a way.” There was a short pause and he cleared his throat before asking, “So I have to ask…what about finding the person who hit you? Are you going to give up on that?”
“Oh, no,” I said. “What gave you that idea?”
“I don’t know. You did a one-eighty from the last time we saw each other. Here you are, finding work, getting back to school, talking about finding an apartment. I’m wondering if you’ll have the time to look into your accident.”
I frowned. He’d been the one who’d gone to see the cops in the first place. What had changed? What did he know that I didn’t know?
I laughed tightly, hiding my feelings. “I’m pretty sure I can handle a little side investigation while finishing my coursework.”
He sighed. “I didn’t mean it that way. I’m not trying to underestimate you or imply that you’re not capable. I’m just starting to wonder whether it might not be a better idea to take the money you’ve been offered, rather than run around in circles for God knows how long. And like you’ve said, you’re going to have to start paying your hospital bills. I doubt that a VA position will get you far.”
“Now who’s doing a one-eighty?” I called him out. “Just last weekend, you were all about being cautious and not jumping into a settlement without knowing more about the accident. You told me you’d help me, and that I shouldn’t worry. Now, you’re advising me to take the money and run. What gives?” I was starting to wonder whose side he was on, mine or his father’s.
He exhaled. “I’m sorry, Preslee. I’m just concerned about you.”
I hesitated, then asked the question buzzing around in my brain. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”
“No, nothing that I haven’t already told you.” But this time, his words came out false, and the hair on the back of my neck stood up.
There were too many question marks. Too many doubts. Too many inconsistencies. Something wasn’t right about this whole situation. Beyond the obvious, of course.
“I promise,” he added, as if reading my mind.
But I wasn’t so certain I could believe him anymore.
Chapter 11
Preslee
Kris asked me out for dinner on Friday and while part of me rejoiced at the idea, the mistrust that had built after our last few conversations was starting to sink in like a slow poison. I wanted to believe him because when I was with him, I could breathe. I didn’t have to pretend to have it all together. He made me feel safe, despite the doubts.
It didn’t hurt that he was so drop-dead gorgeous that he could make me forget what I was saying mid-sentence. There were moments when we’d be in the middle of a conversation and he would look at me and all rational thought would fly out the window.
I wondered if I was always so spacey and hormonal around a cute guy. From what Ava had told me about myself, it didn’t seem likely. A straight-A student, working all day and going to school at night, didn’t match up with the image of a boy-crazy teenager. So maybe it was just him. Except now, I was starting to question his motives for asking me out in the first place. Had his father set this whole thing up to get me to accept the deal? Was he taking advantage of me? Was he reporting everything back to Quaid? Did Quaid know we’d slept together?
My thoughts were starting to spiral out of control. I had to stop myself from going down this path, or Kris was going to start realizing that things between us had changed. While I knew I had to address it eventually, I couldn’t help but want to give him one more chance to prove me wrong.
When I showed up to the steakhouse a few hours later, Kris was waiting outside, pacing the sidewalk, his hands clenched at his sides. Distinct relief crossed his face when he saw me sitting in the backseat of the cab.
“Preslee,” he said with a breath, and wrapped his arms around me.
While it felt amazing to be held by him, I was surprised at this sudden surge of affection. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he said with a big smile. “I was afraid you wouldn’t come. I thought you were angry with me.”
Apparently my texts regarding his insistence at picking me up for the date hadn’t been as vague as I’d intended them to be.
“I’m not angry.” I sighed. “Really. I just want to do some things on my own now, you know?”
“I guess you’re a pretty independent person,” he said with a smile as he tucked a windblown curl behind my ear.
“I guess I am.” I blushed at his words and gentle touch.
Despite the little voice in the back of my head telling me to keep my distance until I knew for sure what his intentions were, I let him lead me into the restaurant and back to a romantic, secluded booth. And I let him charm me with stories of his childhood, made all the more sweet because I had none of my own to tell him. Though based on what I did know, I doubted there were many happy ones.
“I think my favorite trip as a kid was Disney World, but then again, what kid didn’t want to go to Disney World?” he said with a laugh. “I remember riding Space Mountain with my dad. Here he was, this big aggressive business man, and he screamed his head off the entire time.”
“What did your mom think of that?” I asked, grinning in response to his contagious smile.
“She wasn’t much for amusement parks.” His face sobered a bit. “Mom was more of the Botanical Garden kind of person.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Somehow, I don’t see you being much for flowers.”
“I’ll have you know that I aced botany in college.”
“You took botany?”
He shrugged. “I needed an elective. What about you?” As soon as the words came out of his mouth, he realized what he’d said. “Wow. Open mouth, insert foot.”
I laughed. “Don’t feel bad. Do you have any idea how weird it is to not know the answers to those sorts of questions? The only reason I even know what classes I was in four months ago is because I’ve been trying to make up the work I missed.”
“Okay,” he said as he reached across the table to take my hand. “Then tell me about those. Just because the memories aren’t old doesn’t mean they aren’t important.”
I curled my fingers into his. “I’ve already told you pretty much everything I’ve been doing.”
He smiled. “Then tell me again. I don’t care how little there is to know about you, I want to know it all.”
Now how the hell was I supposed to be cautious when he said things like that?
After dinner, we decided to go for a stroll around the block before heading home. Despite the snow we’d seen earlier in the week, the air was balmy with the promise of spring. Perfect for a romantic evening stroll. I was glad I’d decided to wear flat shoes, even if they didn’t help our insane height difference. I felt like a little kid walking beside him. Well, except for how badly I wanted to grab him and do very adult things to him.
After a couple minutes of walking in pleasant silence, we stopped at a busy corner, waiting for the light to change. Across the street, a petite woman with a strawberry blonde bob held the hand of a little boy, maybe three or four years old. The woman’s mouth was going a mile a minute, and while I couldn’t hear her over the rush of the traffic, I could tell from her expression that she was angry.
Kris said something, but I couldn’t hear him. My vision tunneled, and all I could see was this raging woman and her child. The light flashed green, and Kris took my arm to lead me through the crosswalk. I went with him, but nearly froze as we approached the woman and child near the center of the street.
Suddenly, the kid slid and fell to his
knees. The woman glared down, as if the kid had done it on purpose.
“Damn it!” she screamed, jerking him roughly by his arm. “Watch where the hell you’re going! I tell you to look where you walk and you fall anyway. So fucking stupid!”
She pulled him so hard I thought his arm would dislocate. His eyes welled with tears and I could see the fear on his face.
All of this happened in the span of a few seconds, but it felt like it was slow motion. I was still walking, still being led by Kris to the opposite corner, but I wasn’t really there. I was somewhere far away. Different place, different time.
A frizzy-haired woman scowled, hovering over me. Dark circles sat like bruises underneath her eyes and the stink of something rotten wafted from her dingy pink bathrobe. I sat in a corner, huddled up with my arms around my knees.
“Dammit, Preslee!” she roared in my face.
I could smell the sour stench of alcohol and cigarettes on her breath, mixing with the unmistakable reek of vomit.
“You can’t even pour milk on your cereal without getting it all over the goddamned kitchen! Clean it up!”
She grabbed my arm and yanked me to my feet. I cried out as pain shot up my arm.
“Stop being such a damn crybaby or I’ll give you something to cry about,” she growled as she shoved me in the direction of the kitchen table. Milk dripped into a puddle on the floor. “Clean it up!” she screamed again. “I’m not your damn maid!”
I wipe at the milk with paper towels and struggled to keep from crying. If I cried, it would only make her angrier.
“Preslee!” I heard from far away. “Preslee, come on, wake up.”
I blinked up at the face staring down at me. It wasn’t her. It was Kris. And he was holding me up, the strength of his body the only thing keeping me from crumbling to the sidewalk.
“I think…” I whispered, “I think I just remembered something. Something from when I was little.” I burst into tears.
We stood there on the busy corner while I cried against his coat. I’d been so scared of her. Of my own mother. And I knew it was her. She was older now, but I could still match the woman who’d turned me away with the one from my memory.
