Return to Cheshire Bay

by H. M. Shander

  “Like everything else in my life, it was time for a change.” I set the heavy can down with a thud and leaned back against the counter, forgetting for the briefest of heartbeats that Eric was here. And he didn’t know all the things.

  Had I thought it through, I would’ve rested in a way that didn’t speak volumes and announced my condition.

  Eric’s eyes sailed over my body and focused, like everyone else had since my return, on my slightly protruding bump.

  I fluffed my shirt and sighed. There was no point in hiding it, he was going to notice it soon enough and in a small town everyone seemed to know everyone else’s business, like it or not. Perhaps, if I came clean first, it would put to rest the rumours that eventually rose from the mistruths. Even if my reasons for moving here hadn’t yet become clear to me, there was no point in withholding the facts.

  “Yep, I’m pregnant. Due September fourteenth to be exact.” I gave the bump a rub. “My twenty-two-year-old man-child of a boyfriend said he wasn’t ready to be a father, and after emptying his drawer in my apartment, he’s out of the picture. Dad had a heart attack just before Easter, but the damage was too much, and he passed away a couple of months ago. Then there’s my lovely sister who refuses to talk to me because she’s the oldest and she was supposed to have kids first. Her raging jealousy hit epic levels because I got knocked up, and she’s been trying for six years to have children.”

  Despite the silent staring and slack jaw look, I remained on my mission of airing my dirty laundry and let the words continue to spew.

  “Oh, right. To add insult to injury, the company I worked for was just bought out by a huge Asian firm, so I received a nice little buyout package, but I’m effectively jobless. Thankfully, the Wi-Fi here isn’t atrocious, and I can build my own company to help cover the bills while I figure out what the hell I’m doing.” I dropped my hands to the side and breathed out. Relief wasn’t even the right word to express the emotions that fell like a waterfall. It was refreshing to spill it all. “Imagine my surprise. I’m thirty years old and starting my life over, and it’s not quite how I planned. Not even close.”

  Eric pulled out a kitchen stool and sat with a thump. “That was a lot of information in thirty seconds.” He wiped a hand across his forehead.

  “Can I get you something to drink?” Without waiting for an answer, I filled a glass with water and handed it to him.

  He gulped it all down. To his credit, he seemed to be handling the news much better than Dad had, and way better than Parker. “You’re telling me you’re all alone in this?” His gazed slowly dropped to my slight bump.

  “Pretty much.”

  “And your dad, he’s… he died?” The smidgen of hurt was unmistakable.

  My voice softened. “Yeah. Had I known you were taking care of the place, I would’ve let you know. There was nothing in his journals that mentioned a property caretaker. I just assumed he came out once in a while.”

  “Damn, I’m really sorry to hear of his passing. I always liked him.” His face fell, and somewhere in my heart an ache formed. It seemed Eric was closer to my father than I had been. “And you’ve moved here for the time being, to kind of sort out your personal situation?”

  “For now, yes. I still have my place downtown, but I guess I’ll see what becomes of things here.” I gave my tummy a rub.

  The little one was slowly moving around. Guess the verbal diarrhea pumped my heartbeat and woke someone.

  Eric rose and offered me the stool. “You should be the one to sit.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m pregnant, not elderly. I’m fine.” Instead, I filled another glass of water, this one for me, and I took a few sips. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to dump on you. I forgot how small some towns can be and all the looks I got, especially from the hardware store after they recognized me, they all rubbed me the wrong way.”

  “Yeah, you look pretty much like how I remembered.” He huffed and took another drink of water, walking over to the sink and refilling it. “Sorry about the hardware store. Guess some people never forgot who you are.”

  I lifted a shoulder and sighed. “Who I was.”

  The joys of small-town life. It was nice being anonymous in the big city. No one knew me, no one knew about my past. Thirteen years distance should’ve been enough of a gap. Boy, oh boy, was I wrong.

  “Where’d you go get your stuff?”

  “Stewart Surf.”

  He rocked side to side. “You probably got hosed.”

  I laughed and tilted my head back. “Oh, most likely. But it was better than the hardware store here.”

  The joys of island living included a higher cost of living. However, living on the beach, I wouldn’t need as much as I did in the city. Ironic. I finished my water and put my glass into the sink. Grabbing an armful of supplies, I headed upstairs and into my childhood bedroom. It didn’t have the amazing view of the Pacific Ocean like the master bedroom, so I was readying it as a guest room.

  Eric followed me upstairs and came armed with a can of paint. “You doing all grey up here as well?”

  I looked around my former bedroom with the large window easy enough to sneak into, if a certain sister left the window open after I’d climbed up the lattice. “Yeah, think so.”

  Currently, the room was a sand colour, but it was faded and very dated as the last time it was painted was before Mona was born.

  I read the colour on Eric’s can. “Give me a sec, I need the other one.”

  Inside the freshly painted master bedroom was the other open can I needed to finish first. All rooms had undergone a transformation, and yet none of them were even close to being finished. A bad habit of starting projects and not seeing them all the way through, even though I promised myself, this time would be different.

  I set Eric’s can – the tag called it Stormy Seas - along the windowed wall. It was a deeper blue grey. Once I painted the window trim in white, it should have a nice contrast, which was the vision I had for my old room. Some people didn’t like the grey palette, but I found it comforting and modern once I got beyond the initial institutional feel.

  “Need some help?”

  “Nah. I’ll need to wash walls in here first, but I don’t mind.”

  All the personality had been stripped off the walls years ago. The posters had long been taken down, our N’Sync years behind us. There was only a bed and dresser, and I could easily still move those into the centre of the room. I’d managed in the master bedroom on my own.

  “I feel like I can’t leave you to do this.” He unbuttoned his cuffs, and rolled them up, exposing his taut arms.

  Damn. What was it about guys in dress shirts with the sleeves rolled up? I shook away the lustful feelings. It was a sweet gesture on Eric’s part to help, but I couldn’t accept.

  “Would you have insisted on helping had you not discovered I was pregnant?”

  He looked down and shuffled his feet. “No, I still would’ve helped.”

  “Honestly, I’ll be fine.” I put my hands on my hips. “It’ll be therapeutic in a way. Cleaning and changing everything. At least this is a part of my life I have some control over.”

  He checked his watch. “Fair enough. I can respect that.”

  Playfully, I swatted his arm - his strong, muscled arm. Damn. “Pretend like I didn’t dump my woes on you ten minutes ago about my wildly unhinged life and pretend I’m still a cantankerous and rebellious seventeen-year-old. When my mind is made up, there’s not much you can do to change it.”

  “Sounds like some things haven’t changed.” A gentle grin formed on his tanned face. “Well, if you don’t need me?” He waited, and I shook my head. “Then I should get back to the airport. Just had some time between flights, and I needed to grab something from the house.” He walked to the door and hesitated, opening his mouth and closing it just as quick.

  I followed him out and walked ahead of him down the stairs. I needed a bucket and my phone for music, wishing I had brought my sound bar. It would�
��ve come in handy.

  “Thanks for the help.”

  Eric hung by the door, a debate warring on his face, and I couldn’t tell if he was perplexed or offended.

  I leaned against the frame, stalling as I wasn’t ready to let him walk away just yet. The interruption had been pleasant. “Hey, is our section of beach still private?”

  “Sure is. Both towns worked to clean up a long stretch of public beaches, including long beach. This way, this stretch of beach remains private to the homeowners.”

  “Cool.”

  Years ago, there had been talk about making the beach public property, at least according to Dad. He and a few of the other homeowners must’ve fought hard to keep it to the residents only.

  Eric opened the screen door and stepped on to the front porch. “Tonight.” The word hung in the air for a few heartbeats. “Why don’t you come over for supper?”

  “Supper?” My heart pounded in anticipation.

  “You do eat, right?” He scanned me up and down, that grin of his widening into a mega-watt smile with enough power to launch the butterflies into my gut at high speed.

  “I’ve been known to have a bite here and there.” Suddenly, I was fifteen again and the cute boy was asking me out for ice cream. Had my hair not been piled on my head, I may have grabbed a piece and twirled it around my finger while batting my eyes.

  “Perfect. I’ll have dinner ready for seven. Does that work?” He cocked his head to the side.

  “I’ll set a timer.” I winked.

  This side of the island was so relaxed, time was meaningless. Always had been.

  With a wave, he walked away, and I studied his behind until it was rounding his vehicle. Yep. Time had done wonders for Eric. Did he think the same about me?

  Chapter Three

  Hours later, I had to admit, the change to the guest room was dramatic, and it was the first room in the house to be done. The room looked amazing and with the right accessories, it would be worthy of a spot in Beach Home Monthly or something. I laughed at the absurdity. My best friend Beth would like it though. I snapped a couple pictures and sent them along with a few before photos. The difference was shocking.

  “Lily, it looks great.” Her voice blared from the phone as I set it on the dresser while I wrapped up the roller and tapped the lid back onto the paint can.

  “I really like it. I did the same colour scheme in the master bedroom, but I haven’t yet moved everything back into place.”

  “Decided to go with my palette, eh?”

  “Why not? You’re the best in the biz.”

  Beth was a highly sought-after interior design expert. She’d been lucky enough to have been a featured designer on a couple of home renovation shows. After those aired, she booked months, if not years, in advance.

  “I was analyzing the living room photos, and I really think you should paint the bookcases sea grey. It won’t stand out like a sore thumb, but it’ll look nice. I think if you put a nice panoramic above, but in a white frame, it’ll just add that something you need. Do you have a pano? You know what, never mind. I’ll send you some ideas.”

  “Keep them reasonable in cost.”

  “They’re from staging’s.”

  From magazine shoots. The pictures typically stored in a warehouse, hung for a few photo shoots in local magazines and taken back. Beth got access to their inventory on the cheap and had a long list of things she could sell to her friends, myself included.

  “Don’t go crazy.”

  “Me?” She laughed. “Never.”

  I slumped on the bed and admired my handiwork. Sure, it was only fresh paint on the walls, but it was amazing how much it changed the feel in the room. It no longer was the place I’d played with my Barbies, or the room I’d sneak out of when my parents started snoring. Now it had a grownup sense, sophisticated even, ready for a new beginning.

  For guests.

  For a possible new family in the fall.

  “You can bring them out when you come for a visit.”

  Beth scoffed. “Or you can come and pick them up when you come to your senses.”

  And here we go again. “I know you and Dina and Amelia all think I lost my mind.”

  “You did. You ran away. Take your little pity break, clear your mind and come home where you belong.” If I didn’t know better, it sounded like she just gave me a scolding, complete with a nagging whine.

  “As I told you before I left, I’m staying the summer.” I flaked off a piece of dried paint from my finger.

  “I know that’s what you said, but you’ll change your mind. Lily, I know you. You need all the modern conveniences you’re not going to find in your small hippie town. You hated that place, remember?”

  “It’s not a hippie little town.” And I only hated it after the incident.

  “Really?” Even over the phone, I heard her eyebrow rise.

  “Fine. It’s hippie-like, but the beach is so relaxing.” I’d been here for a few days, and even though I was working hard painting and moving furniture, it had been oddly relaxing. The ocean scent, the salt in the breeze. Soon I was going to be splashing in the ocean.

  “That’s my point. You’ll get some peace for a bit, relax, and unwind, and then you’ll tuck your tail between your legs, come home and face the music. You’re not thinking of having the baby there, are you? Oh god, Lily, please tell me you’re going to come home to modern medicine and have the baby in the hospital?” Desperation, mixed with a heavily pleading tone, oozed from her voice making her sound more like my mother than my best friend.

  It hadn’t been something I’d completely worked out, but I supposed it was something else to add to my checklist. The nearest major hospital was an hour away, but there were clinics and outpatient facilities within an easy drive, and they were all modern. I still lived in a first world country, and I was having a baby, not major surgery, but still. I should be under someone’s care. At least that was a point I was going to take.

  “Oh, Lily, you’re stalling. Please tell me you’re going to come home to have the baby.”

  I shrugged. “It’s likely, okay?”

  Her relief washed over the phone. “Oh, thank god. You haven’t gone bat-shit crazy.”

  “I’m not crazy at all.”

  “Completely, especially for going back there. After everything that happened. I still can’t believe that’s where you chose to run to. You wouldn’t catch me returning.”

  My heart took a little beating. “You’re not going to come for a visit? I just painted your room.”

  “You’re not going to be there long enough for me to need to come. I give it another two weeks. Tops. You’ll be home before then.”

  “It’s going to take me more than a couple of weeks to ready this place.”

  Sure, it was possible to list as it was, but I’d never get market price for it. However, put a little TLC into it, and modernise it, and well, I likely wouldn’t need to worry about cashflow in the short future.

  Another voice whispered in the background.

  “Just a sec.” A deep sigh breathed over the line. “Thank you, Courtney.” Her admin assistant. Once again, Beth’s voice became clearer. “Hey, Lil? Why is Parker calling me?”

  My mouth went dry as cotton and if I hadn’t already been sitting, surely, I would’ve collapsed on the bed. “I honestly don’t have the faintest idea. He’s called me a few times.”

  “So, you’ve talked to him?”

  “Why would I give him the time of day? He left me, remember?” Which really, in hindsight, had been a blessing.

  “Yeah, and I’ll never forgive him for that. But he can’t call my office, that’s unacceptable. We both know that shithead isn’t looking for an interior designer. He’s looking for you.”

  Which was true. Parker had all the decorating sense of a seventeen-year-old comic boy. Swords and movie paraphernalia didn’t belong in the living room, and no matter how I tried to encourage him, he didn’t want to change. Good thing w
e did all the entertaining at my apartment.

  “Deal with him before I have to.”

  It wouldn’t end well for Parker if Beth spoke her mind. Since the moment we had started dating, she’s had her back up to him and they never got along. When he walked out on me, she was ready to tear him a new one, and if he kept calling her office, he was likely to get it.

  “I’ll think about it.”

  “Aren’t you the least bit curious why he’s calling?” The inflection in her voice told me she was.

  “Not at all.” Although I was, however, it was more fear-based curiosity than anything else.

  Beth cleared her throat. “Look, I have a meeting with a client in a minute. I got to go. Call me soon.”

  “Love you.”

  “You too.” And with that, the line went dead.

  Chapter Four

  Fresh and paint-free, I knocked on Eric’s door. Checking my reflection on the screen door, I gave my hair another smoothing and inhaled sharply.

  “Come in, it’s unlocked.”

  With trepidation, I stepped inside, balancing the apple pie I’d picked up on a whim. Eric’s floorplan was smaller than mine, but we both had our kitchens at the back of the house, looking out towards the setting sun and the Pacific Ocean. The colour on his walls was a bright blue, but it worked well with the washed-out table and chairs.

  “Please, make yourself at home.”

  “Thanks. For you.” I handed him the box.

  “Ooh, Sylvia’s Bakery. This is really nice.” The grin on his face was hard to look away from.

  I took the water bottle he offered, our fingertips touching just enough to feel the electricity as I let my gaze linger over his fine form. Even though I wasn’t ready for anything in that department, it never hurt to check out anyone. He really had grown and filled out. Who knew the gangly little boy would turn into such a handsome guy? And a sweet one at that?