Return to Cheshire Bay

by H. M. Shander

  “Not wedged, just…” I caved and tossed my hands up in defeat. “Fine, it’s stuck.”

  “Take the legs off.”

  “No can do. They are nailed on.”

  “Seriously? Handmade table?” He bent over to admire the handiwork. “Wow. That’s a beaut.”

  “Think my dad made it.” But I really had no idea. It had always been in the house as far back as I could remember.

  Eric climbed up and over and stood in my kitchen. “I think you should’ve gone the other way.”

  “I had it all worked out on paper. It should’ve been a smooth move.” I pointed to the grid paper and cut out I’d created.

  “That’s seriously detailed.” Eric picked up the paper and moved the cut out around. “But you forgot a tiny detail.” He flipped the moveable piece onto its side and demonstrated.

  “Well, damn.” Of course, now I saw the errors of my way.

  “You refinishing this?”

  “Yes.” I narrowed my eyes. What was he thinking?

  “Might need to refinish the frame too.” He ran his hand over the dark-brown doorframe.

  I stared at it. If we pushed hard enough to scratch the tabletop, the door frame was also going to get a solid scuffing.

  “Can you lift on your side?”

  I tried but the whole thing was jammed. “Not an inch.”

  Eric climbed over to where I stood and gave it a lift. “It’s moving.”

  “Look at you go, He-Man.”

  “That’s all I need for now.” He grunted and shimmied the table enough to unwedge it. “Can you get back over to the other side?”

  I was neither cute nor sexy as I crawled under the table legs, and before I made it to the other end, I froze. Written in marker, near the corner leg, was a brief note. For Madeline. Love Marcus. The date was over thirty years ago, around the time my big sister was born.

  My heart fluttered at the gesture. Dad sure loved Mom, and everyone knew it.

  I heaved myself to a standing position and together we pushed it back into the kitchen, tipped it on its side, and twisted it around to manoeuvre it through the doorway much easier. We set it on the tarp, and I ran my hand over the tabletop. Hardly any digs and dents, and the scratches were surface enough to come off with a quick sanding.

  “Thank you.” I gave my belly a solid rub to soothe the ache but tried passing it off as stretching.

  It failed as Eric continued to stare at the bump, although he refrained from speaking the question dancing in his eyes.

  Instead, he ran his hands through his hair, smoothing down the stuck-up part. “We make a good team.”

  The words lingered in the ocean fresh air.

  Can’t happen.

  “Can I make you a coffee?”

  A distraction, that’s what I needed. It was too early in the day to think of dreams and other worldly possibilities. Those were other people’s futures, not mine. There was no team in single motherhood.

  “Can I brush my teeth first?”

  I nodded. “Of course.”

  He dashed off, and once out of sight I prepped a quick caffeine and sugar rush kick. The cup was ready when he darkened my doorstep.

  “Help yourself to milk in the fridge. The sugar is on the counter. Oh, and the chocolate chip muffins are good too.”

  “I like it black, thanks, but I’ll grab a muffin.”

  I grabbed my full mug and went out to sit on the patio with Eric hot on my heels. We made idle chitchat about the upcoming change in the weather and where I managed to find a sander, until I put my mug down. It was time to address the tiny elephant in the room.

  “So, Eric.” Verbal diarrhea was my strong point, and I really needed to watch how I phrased my words. Last thing I wanted to do was alienate the guy since he’d proven to be a sweet man and a great neighbour. “About last week, at the bonfire.”

  “Don’t worry about it. It was all my fault.” But he wouldn’t look me in the eye, much like he’d avoided me over the past seven days. Aside from a neighbourly wave here and there, the conversations had been minimal, reduced to a hello or have a great day.

  “But it’s not. Maybe I led you to believe…”

  “You did no such thing. I have a bad habit of reading too much into situations.”

  I twisted my body toward him, and I gave my belly a light rub. The ache was still there, but it wasn’t screaming mad. Perhaps I overdid it.

  “How so?” Maybe he’d spill about past girlfriends.

  “It doesn’t matter.” He swirled his mug on the edge of his chair and pulled deeper into himself.

  “What did she do?”

  “What makes you think it was a she that did something?”

  “Because you’re not with someone. Like I said before, everyone has a story.”

  “Yeah? Well, not me.” There was such a finality to his tone that I backed off. He stared out into the ocean; the crests bigger than they had been since I arrived - a storm was brewing out on the sea. “Might be a good day to go surfing.”

  How I wish. That would require me to be able to get into my bikini, not that I think it would fit anymore, and no one really needed to see my huge baby bump in the raw, stretchmarks and all. Plus, my balance wasn’t what it used to be.

  “Think I’ll stick to sanding the table and all that jazz. After that, just the upstairs deck remains as part of my grand overhaul to the house plans go.”

  “It’s looking very nice.”

  “Thank you.”

  Lately, the idea of selling the beach house had popped up in my mind, growing in strength with each passing day. It didn’t help that everywhere I went, people stopped their regular conversations to stare and whisper behind my back. If it were here and there, it wouldn’t be a big deal, but it was every place I went. This far away from any metropolis, food delivery services were non-existent and grocery delivery? Laughable. Yet, I needed these things and so I forced myself to go out. But my wall was cracking. I wasn’t sure how much more I was going to be able to take.

  And Beth wasn’t helping the situation either. Our daily phone chats were more one-sided reasons for me to come home, and reminders how there was nothing for me in Cheshire Bay anymore. Put the house on the market, get a healthy return on it, and come back home having cleared my head and all that mumbo-jumbo she claimed was turning me into a weaker version of myself.

  But I didn’t feel weaker, on the contrary.

  Yes, the murmurs were unnerving, but it didn’t stop me from getting done what needed to be done. Yes, their words cut me like a knife, but none of them had been there that night. None of them understood how I harboured guilt for his death too. If I hadn’t been popular, and I hadn’t gotten it into my head how I was invincible, I wouldn’t have climbed that cliff. I wouldn’t have jumped, and Jordan would still be here. But on the whole, a strength inside was growing, and deep down, I knew I was capable of standing on my own without needing anybody.

  Well, until today when the damn table wedged in the door.

  Eric drank his coffee on the deck in an oddly comfortable peace, and although I wanted to inquire into his past, I let it be. Maybe he’d tell me. Besides, it wasn’t like I was offering up tidbits. Parker’s incessant rings still went unanswered, and I hadn’t divulged anything more personal than him emptying his drawer. Aside from my mini rant on the second day, I’d stayed as tight lipped as Eric.

  “Would you look at that?” He rose and stretched again, something on the horizon capturing his attention.

  From my vantage point, however, I wasn’t checking out the waves; I was admiring his rippled abs.

  “I should get out there and tackle the waves. Would be an awful shame to pass them up. Sure you don’t want to come out?”

  I rubbed my belly. “Probably best that I don’t.”

  With more grunting than was lady like, I pushed myself out of the seat. Guess Adirondack chairs were no longer suitable, as once I got in them, they were impossible to get out of, and I hadn’t even
grown to max size yet.

  “If you change your mind, come hang out on the beach. It’ll be good for you to relax a while.”

  Hmm. It was an intriguing idea. I hadn’t actually done a lot of relaxing since I’d arrived.

  “Let me see what I can get done. I wouldn’t mind getting my feet wet, but I still have a lot of work to do.”

  “I’d ask if you want help, but I think you’d refuse any and all offers.” He winked.

  “Yeah, well the table is no longer wedged, thanks to you. Sanding and painting is the easy part.”

  “Call me when it’s ready to move back. I’ll make that even easier.”

  I took the mug from him, and it clanged against mine when I looped them through my finger. “Have fun. Ride a big one for me.”

  I’d hoped the green-eyed monster threatening to control my voice faded.

  The sanding was relatively easy, all things considered, and the first coat of paint went on well. But the crashing waves were distracting, and the hollers from the surfers on the sea scratched my soul. As the paint dried, I went up to my room and surveyed the ocean. The swells were gorgeous, and coloured dots of surfers rode the waves into shore. A deep longing in my soul beckoned me back to the sea. Back in the day, I’d been pretty decent and could hold my own on my board. Nothing flashy, of course, but enough that it was a healthy mix of adrenaline and relaxation.

  From my vantage point, I studied my neighbour. Eric was a great surfer to watch. He had incredible strength as he paddled out to catch the big one, and a natural balance on the board as he became one with the current. He was mesmerizing and hot to watch. His wet suit hid nothing, and I allowed dirty thoughts to drift into places they had no right to visit.

  However, sexy times were over. My expanding waistline was a major turnoff, and was an incredible form of birth control, especially since no one would touch me anyway. When the baby arrived, any lingering desires would be kiboshed. Completely. Yep, the moment Parker walked away, that was the end of my sex life.

  Chapter Eight

  For the next two weeks, I attacked my place with renewed energy. The cupboard doors came off and were given a light sanding and a paint job. As an interesting bonus, I’d found another inscription underneath a drawer. Dad sure loved leaving his mark on the place.

  At first, on Beth’s suggestions, I swore she’d made a mistake in her colour choices, but once I had the doors back in place, I had to admit, it gave a brand-new look and feel to the place. With the table back in place, the kitchen had a modern and bright appearance, while at the same time suited the environment.

  If I went forward with my plans to rent it out in the fall, I was sure it wouldn’t be long before I could find a suitable guest. If I went that way. I had the ad all drafted and ready, and selected the best site to host it on. However, the more time I spent fixing it up, the more I wanted to keep it all to myself, but on the flip side of that coin, I also knew I couldn’t live here full time. Not with the baby. Cheshire Bay wasn’t for raising families, just visiting with them.

  Besides, while I was painting and sanding, menial work I originally despised, I found myself rather enjoying it. I was no interior decorator, and left those ideas to Beth, but I enjoyed running the little sander, and seeing the results from the effort I’d put into my work lit me up in a way I didn’t expect. Such a change from sitting in an office all day, typing away.

  While the days kept me busy, the nights were a little quieter. Every so often, I’d sit on the back porch with my sexy as hell neighbour. Eric had a beer and talked about some of his more interesting passengers, and the places he visited on the island. It was a friendly environment, a safe space. No one brought up my past and it actually wasn’t given a whole lot of worry either. On the back deck, I was free to be me.

  “Hey,” Eric called over his deck, across the small strip of space between us and into my kitchen. “It’s going to be a hot one, and I strongly suggest you keep cool today.”

  “You just can’t wait to see me in a bikini, right?” Thank god it came out in a whisper. My hormones had no self-control.

  “Why don’t you come in the water today?”

  Because I’m a whale?

  I gave my stretched-out skin a rub. I was thirty-three weeks pregnant, and my belly now sported its own zip code, even if the local family doctor assured me everything was okay. He wasn’t as sweet and kind as my doctor back home was, but since it was just a quick checkup, it was tolerable. However, the heat was pressing on me and even just dipping my toes in the ocean would be a welcome reprieve from the heat.

  “You know what, maybe I’ll just get my feet wet.”

  The humidity was rising rapidly, and the marine forecast predicted a doozy of a storm. Probably why all the surfers were back in town and riding the waves down at long beach, where the waves would be bigger. On our edge of the coastline, the swells were pretty decent here and a novice boarder could still have a good time.

  “You don’t want to overheat, remember?” Eric had been a good friend to lean on when I overworked myself and gave the best back and shoulder massages.

  “Fine.” The cooling down would help me focus, as I needed to start coming up with a business plan. With no job and a baby on the way, the buyout wasn’t going to last forever. As it was, I was still paying rent on an apartment I hadn’t seen in over a month. “I’ll be out there in a little bit.”

  Eric nodded and disappeared back into his house.

  I was heading up to my room when my phone rang, Beth’s face showing on the display.

  “Hey.”

  “Listen, I don’t have much time to talk.”

  I rolled my eyes. Typical.

  “I’m coming in for an overnight visit. Booked myself a little charter as the company’s paying for it, since we can do a shoot for the local magazine on beach house renovations. Should be there on Saturday. Does that work for you?”

  “Your room’s been made up for some time just waiting for the perfect guest.” I sighed and rummaged through my drawer, finding a bikini bottom. I lifted it up wondering if it would even cover my hips anymore.

  “Fine. Did you get the pano?”

  “Yesterday. I hung it up and you’re right, it looks great.”

  It was a sunset view from the water looking in towards the shore, the windows reflecting the orange of the sun – the pop of colour Beth said I needed. I’m positive if I could zoom in on it, the houses dotting the water’s edge were of my bay.

  “Told you it would work.” Her nails clicked against her keyboard. “I got to run, meeting with one of the Jonas’ brothers at his rental in an hour. Saturday. Noon. Pick me up from the airport?”

  “I’ll be there.”

  “See you then.” She hung up without another word.

  I got longer goodbyes from the hardware people than I did my best friend. I brushed off feelings niggling at the back of my head. Beth was busy, the quintessential city girl always on the run. Had I changed so much over the month that her clipped tones were grating my nerves? Nah, it had to be pregnancy induced. According to the book, I was at that stage where I was quickly agitated.

  And also easily turned on.

  I stood naked in my bedroom, running my hands over my filled-out body. My boobs were bigger and had a bit of weight to them as I cupped them. Just holding them caused the nipples to harden and pop out. But the biggest surprise was how thinking about Eric caused my lower body to tingle and ache. There would be nothing between us, as I’d pushed away his advances, but that didn’t stop the fantasy from playing out wildly in my head and ending with a little personal time.

  There was something freeing about being naked, at least in the privacy of my own home. Eric was out on the water, so I was in no rush to get dressed and even walked out on to the newly finished floor on the balcony off my bedroom. The sun was nice, and the breeze cooled my body, but only on the surface. A mental image of my neighbour–topless–working on my cupboard doors floated through my mind and fired up
the embers of desire. I needed to get into the water and cool down pronto.

  I located a bikini top with enough coverage to not be considered slutty but with enough support that I didn’t get uniboob, threw my hair in a top knot, grabbed a towel, and made my way out to the beach. How crazy was it that despite how long I’d been here already, this would be my first dip in the water since my arrival? When I was a kid, it would’ve been fifteen minutes max before I was dripping wet.

  I stretched out my towel and sat upon it, my hands supporting me as I leaned back soaking up the sunshine and watched the surfers from behind my oversized sunglasses while a deep ache still nestled between my legs. I should’ve taken care of business before coming down.

  Eric lined up perfectly with me and rode the waves like he was an all-star surfing champ, and who knows, maybe he was. Since that first week, neither of us talked about the past, or the years in between my visits to the bay.

  Board under his arm, he walked within a couple feet of my towel. Water ran in rivulets down his bright green wetsuit and made puddles as he stood along the edge of the wet sand.

  “Hope you’re wearing sunscreen?”

  “Nah. I tan well. Haven’t burnt yet.”

  It was a genetic gift, and even though I was sporting more of a tank top tan than my teenage years of bikini straps would’ve liked, my skin was a decent bronzed colour. Aside from the sun-reflecting belly.

  “You should regardless.”

  And you could run it all over me.

  I tore my gaze away. What was wrong with me? Eric and I were friends. I was leaving in month to go home. There simply couldn’t be anything. He wasn’t likely interested in screwing a pregnant chick; there was too much belly in the way. Besides that, he said last time he simply read too much into situations, so he wasn’t interested, only reacting to the feelers I was putting out, which wasn’t much if I controlled myself.

  I breathed in a long breath of salty sea air and listened to the waves lap against the beach.