SHIPS CompanionSHIP, FriendSHIP, RelationSHIP

by K'Anne Meinel

  Grace watched her over her cup of coffee. She wasn’t sure if Joan was regretting her seduction of the previous night. She was sure there had to be something bothering her.

  Grace’s intense brown eyes bothered Joan. She wasn’t sure what protocol was after making love that intensely. She did feel a bit awkward. She also felt grateful. Grace had shown her that she wasn’t frigid. She could respond. A lot of self doubts had been dispelled by Grace the previous night. With the self doubts gone a new confidence was born. Taking a grip on that Joan returned Graces look. Still she didn’t like it that those brown eyes could seem to stare into her soul.

  “What time does the convention go until today?” Grace broke the silence that had fallen.

  “6:00.”

  “A long day eh?”

  “Very.”

  Tired of one word answers, Grace tried again “Is something wrong?”

  “No, I just really don’t feel like going back to the convention center. It gets boring. It’s nice for the adoration and to hear the feedback, but the slow times are awful.”

  Relieved at this answer Grace tried another tack “Did you have plans for this evening?”

  “No, did you have something in mind?”

  “Well, if you’d like we could go out to dinner again or something...” This time Grace looked down into her coffee, seemingly unsure.

  “I’d like that.”

  Grace looked up and she and Joan exchanged a smile. Reaching out hesitantly Joan squeezed Graces hand. It accomplished a lot, it broke the ice. They had no trouble finishing their breakfast and chatting about other things.

  Grace offered Joan the shower first while she did the dishes and cleaned up breakfast. Joan felt weird using the bathroom but then what else could she do. If she waited to use the one back at her hotel room she might be late for the convention.

  They drove to the hotel so that Joan could change her clothes. Grace agreed to meet her later after the convention for dinner. Joan hurried to change and run across to the show. She arrived 5 minutes before showtime. Her manager was there removing the last of the covering sheets.

  The day went very quickly. More people came as it was a Saturday and they were off work. Sales and inquiries were brisk and her manager handled them well. She got writers cramp from signing works as well as autographs. Answering the same old questions about her works and the stories behind them helped things flow. By 2:00 she was starving and her manager went to get them sandwiches. She was gone an hour. Coming back she apologized but explained that she had spoken with a promotions group about Joan doing a tour. Joan didn’t care she was starving, she wolfed down her sandwich between customers. By 4:00 it had slowed down to a trickle. Hiding a yawn, Joan looked up to see Grace standing in front of the booth watching her. Smiling in response Joan stood up to join her.

  “Hi there. I thought we were going to meet in front of my hotel?”

  “I couldn’t wait anymore. I was bored and wanted to SEE you.”

  “That’s very sweet of you. Aren’t you getting bored hanging around here?”

  “Actually I’m enjoying myself immensely. I never take time off to look at art. I know your not off until 6 but I thought I’d wander around until then.”

  Eager to spend time with Grace, Joan sensed the same eagerness about her. It wasn’t the sex. It was something tangible. They just connected, understood, enjoyed each other. It showed in both their body language as well as their demeanor.

  Teasing she answered “You mean you’d actually buy someone else’s work?”

  Teasing back she said “Well if I found something I liked....”

  “Well!” in a huffy sort of voice then she laughed. Grace joined in.

  “I’ll see you later okay?”

  “Have fun” Joan watched her walk away, wistfully.

  Her manager came up and asked about Grace “Is she interested in some of your work?”

  “Yes, she already has a couple of works but we’ve been discussing the other’s”

  “A hard sale eh?” The manager smiled knowingly. That’s the thing about these shows. A lot of lookey-loo’s but few real buyers. Now and then you got a run but not enough it ever seems for all the bother that has been put into the show. Fortunately Joan’s work was well known and it brought people in. Her sales figures were good but some artist’s were lucky to sell one or two paintings if at all. Joan’s success came from a good marketing program. Her paintings were made into prints, catalogued, on the web, and were sought after by quite a few collector’s. She was always grateful that she didn’t have to die to make her paintings valuable. A downright shame that those who died didn’t get to enjoy the fruits of their labor.

  6 o’clock came quickly. Joan was talking with the promotions director who wanted to show her work around the country. Maybe, even the world. A tour of sorts. Her manager, Madge was covering up the last of the art as Joan continued her discussion with Allan. Allan was sure with her marketing tools already in place, her distribution which was handled jointly by her gallery in Malibu and Wausau, they could do wonderful things together. He was a born salesman. He had Joan enthused as well. He gave her some good ideas to think about. Leaving him, Joan turned to walk down the aisle. She saw Grace leaning against a pylon watching her. Smiling she walked up to her.

  “Hi” she enthused.

  “Hi” Grace returned.

  “You won’t believe who that was I just talked to” Joan was excited and it showed. She explained as they turned to walk out. Telling her everything that Allan had told her and proposed. Going on with her own ideas. They reached the hotel when Joan finally ran out of things to say. Turning to Grace she noted that she seemed a bit relieved.

  “Something wrong?” she asked.

  “No, for awhile there I thought that you were accepting a date from that guy.”

  Confused Joan looked around “What guy?”

  “That Allan somebody. I can see I was wrong though.” Grace felt stupid. She had no claim on Joan. Yet the feelings she had had for this woman in the past 24 hours made her feel as though she did.

  “Allan isn’t my type” Joan answered with a laugh. Linking her arm through Graces they went through the hotel door laughing together. In the lobby Grace dropped Joan’s arm almost immediately. With questions in her eyes Joan turned to look at her with her right eyebrow raised “What?”

  “I’m not demonstrative in public” Grace answered a little tightly. Blushing.

  “Oh. I guess I thought you had come out of the closet?”

  “I have, but I see no reason to inflict my life choices on the public. They are uncomfortable with it and I just don’t do that” she answered shrugging off the explanation as though it didn’t really mean anything.

  “Do you really care what people think?” Joan was embarrassed. She didn’t understand. This was all new to her and she was afraid to make a mistake. She thought she had made one now.

  “It isn’t a matter of what people think. No, I don’t care if they know I’m gay. I do not however wish to wear a badge proclaiming it. I’m not going to be a poster child for gay’s.”

  Understanding a little at least, Joan let the matter drop. Suggesting they eat in the hotel’s fine restaurant, she led the way.

  The meal was excellent. Starving most of the day, Joan ate more than she usually did. Ordering a table wine that she knew, she ended up drinking over half of it herself. She was in an excellent mood.

  Grace was afraid she had insulted Joan in some way and tried to explain her position better. She had known most of her adult life that she was gay. She had dated a couple of guys in high school and college, even had two proposals but it never felt right. Her first relationship with a woman had ended badly as the girl had just been experimenting and tried to draw Grace into a threesome with her boyfriend. Her next couple of relationships had become just friendships as nothing really seemed to last. She had been alone a number of years without a sexual partner but with a lot of friends. One friendship ha
d ended sourly when they competed for a job in the hospital. She wasn’t promiscuous. She didn’t want to march in the parades proclaiming her sexuality. She was a quiet person. Then she had met Joan. It was odd that it was happening all so quickly. She sensed it was right. In her logical doctor’s mind, she couldn’t make logic out of this so far. She explained all this to Joan as well as she could.

  Joan listened. She didn’t condemn in any shape, manner, or form. She was very drawn to this doctor. A doctor in a profession that made her uncomfortable. Most psychiatrists she had had the misfortune to meet had seemed judgmental, superior, or condescending. It had made her so very uncomfortable. Perhaps she had just met the wrong type. Grace however listened, actually listened to everything. She didn’t criticize. She didn’t judge. She offered sound advice when asked. They had been talking a lot in the 24 hours since they met. Had it only been 24 hours? She still couldn’t believe it. This beautiful, brilliant, woman was interested in her.

  By the end of the meal Grace’s worry was smoothed away. Perhaps Joan was still a little naive about the relationship, but she knew she wanted to know Grace better. She was grateful for the confiding that had occurred. That took a lot of trust.

  Grace didn’t remember what she had eaten. At the end of the meal she suggested that she head home. Startled, Joan objected. She pointed out that Grace had had a lot to drink and shouldn’t really drive. Since Grace didn’t remember what she had drank, she agreed upon seeing that the bottle was nearly empty. She didn’t feel drunk but better to be safe. Joan suggested that they go up to her suite. She signed the bill and they walked to the bank of elevators.

  Joan’s suite was modestly furnished. You entered a living room with a sofa and a TV. The bedroom and bathroom were through a double doorway in one wall. The living room had a small mini-bar and refrigerator. Drinks were $5. Joan threw her card key on the bar and called room service for some drinks. Asking Grace her preference she placed the order. Grace sat on the couch and Joan sat next to her. Before they knew it, between the drinks and their conversation, it was midnight. Regretfully, Grace rose to leave. Joan asked her to stay. Joan lent her the hotel bathrobe to change into. They spent the night getting to know each other more. Just holding each other and talking neither slept until after 2.

  Grace awoke at 6 as was her custom to find Joan’s arm and leg thrown over her in sleep. Slipping out from under she adjusted the robe and headed for the bathroom. Coming out she watched Joan sleep for awhile, marveling at finding this person, hoping it would continue in her life. Grace turned on the coffee maker in the suite and prepared it. The smell of percolating coffee awoke Joan. Smiling at Grace’s “Good Morning” she stretched. Cracks issued from her back, neck, and legs. Loudly. Grace grimaced at the painful noise. Joan totally relaxed on the bed and then pulled herself to a sitting position. She proceeded to stretch her arms and legs, pulling one leg and then the other to awkward positions. Grace watched shaking her head.

  “Doesn’t that hurt?”

  “No, I’m just getting out all the kinks. One more day of sitting too long and I’ll need a cane” she laughed.

  “Tiresome are they?”

  “Well, they are my bread and butter. I’m not complaining, but if I have to explain the meaning of one more painting, or what motivated me...!”

  “It’s usually the ones that don’t understand that ask that don’t they?”

  “Nope, unfortunately. You’d think it was...and you never know who you are talking to so you dare not insult them at all....” Joan rolled her eyes. Then, finished with her contortions, she leapt out of bed. Dizzy for a second, she stood there, blinking.

  Alarmed, Grace reached to steady her.

  “I’m okay, just my morning routine. I’ll be better after I eat something.”

  “Want me to order?”

  “Yes, if you would. Order whatever you want. I need a shower to wake up”

  Grace gave her a quick kiss and turned back to the living room and the phone. Joan headed into the shower, shedding her nightgown as she went.

  Joan took so long in the bathroom that Grace signed for breakfast and tipped the room service guy. She never knew how much to tip them. Then she saw the total on the bill, $32 for breakfast? She almost hit the roof. When Joan came into the room, all steamy from the shower, Grace apologized emphatically at the cost. Joan waited until she was done and then explained it was all part of her show expenses, not to worry. Shaking her head Grace started eating.

  With Joan all dressed, they were both ready to go by 8. There were two hours to kill before Joan needed to get to the convention. A newspaper was delivered with the breakfast so they sat reading together. Grace even did the New York crossword puzzle. In pen of all things. Joan could contribute a little bit but just shook her head at most of it. She didn’t enjoy crossword puzzles. She preferred that people thought some of her art was a puzzle. Figuring that out was much more fun.

  They agreed to meet again and go out after the convention that evening. Tonight it would be over by 4. Joan watched as Grace got in her Jaguar and drove away. The day sped by even quicker than the previous day. Joan spent the ‘down’ time talking with Allan about possibilities for her tour. It would take a long time to iron out the details and she enjoyed talking with him. At 3:30 Joan was talking with a buyer when she felt an odd tingling on the back of her neck. Looking up and around she spotted Grace watching her from the corner of her booth. Madge was talking with her and Grace was pretending to be enthused with the three newer pieces.

  The last half hour of the show was spent in taking down the booth. Since it was the last day, many of the pieces were taken by buyers who didn’t want things shipped to them. Two of the three new pieces were sold as well. Joan was happy with this show. Bored, but happy. She eagerly looked forward to her evening with Grace. The last pieces were boxed and placed in Madges truck to be taken back to the Malibu gallery. Madge’s assistant Amy would re-stock the ones they had sold and shelve the ones they hadn’t.

  Joan and Grace went to the Jaguar and decided to go to a movie. They stopped at a fast food place first and Joan actually ate a hamburger and fries. The only thing she really enjoyed was the shake which she claimed coated her stomach. The rest actually nauseated her. The movie they saw was a comedy and they both enjoyed themselves. They couldn’t talk during the movie but they did discretely hold hands. The tension seemed to be building. In the car after the movie Grace leaned over and gave Joan a kiss. Wondering at it’s significance Joan pulled back.

  Confused Grace looked at her “You don’t want me to kiss you?”

  “No, it isn’t that. I was just wondering if you weren’t afraid someone might see us.”

  Sighing and shaking her head Grace pulled Joan’s head towards her and kissed her again. Deeply, passionately she kissed until Joan was nearly breathless.

  “There. You see, I don’t care what other’s see.” Grace picked up the conversation. “I just don’t wish to make everyone, including us, uncomfortable. Okay?”

  “Are you giving me a goodbye kiss?” Joan asked, suddenly afraid.

  “Goodbye?” Grace was startled. “What do you mean goodbye?”

  “Well, you know I’m supposed to leave tomorrow.”

  “No, I didn’t realize that” she answered disappointment clearly showing in her voice. “Can’t you stay a few more days?”

  “You want me to?” Joan asked hopefully.

  “Well, of course I want you to. Silly.” Grace was playing with the ends of Joan’s waist length hair with one hand and holding her hand with the other. She knew she didn’t want this weekend to come to an end. Three days was not enough.

  Smiling Joan answered “I could be persuaded.”

  Looking at her smiling face Grace raised her hands to Joan’s face and cradled it. Pulling gently she kissed her again and again, drawing a response instantly. Only when she could no longer breathe normally herself did Grace pull away. She pulled Joan’s head to her chest to hold her close. Awk
ward over the gear shift.

  “I guess I can stay until Wednesday” Joan breathlessly whispered.

  “Stay with me?” Grace asked.

  “I’ll have to check out tomorrow.”

  “That’s fine” Grace let Joan up and they looked into each other’s eyes. Searching for answers from unspoken questions. Both were satisfied with what they were reading there.

  Grace started the car and headed down the road towards the freeway. She explained that she would have to go into work tomorrow but that Joan could use her car if she wanted. Not wanting to impose, Joan refused but said she would check out of the hotel and take care of some of the details from the show. She didn’t mention that she would have to drive to Malibu to do so though as she knew Grace would insist on her using the Jaguar.

  The next three day’s sped by. Grace worked on Monday and Tuesday. Joan hired a car and a driver and went to Malibu on Monday. They drove into Anaheim and she checked out of the hotel then he drove her to Malibu. She worked out the details from the show and helped to fill a few orders that needed signatures. Driving back down from Malibu took more than the usual hour plus because of traffic. The driver dropped her off on Balboa in front of Grace’s place.

  Grace answered before she had finished knocking. Helping her in with her bags which were dropped instantly Grace pulled her into her arms and kissed her hard. Laughing and pulling away Joan looked at the disarray Grace was in. She had been home waiting for Joan for hours. Had missed her. Not knowing where or when she would be there had bothered her. They had made sweet love the night before but both Grace and Joan were in the flush of this new relationship. Eager to see where it would take them. They ended up in bed again that night before they had even eaten dinner. Grace reluctantly went to work extracting a promise that Joan would be around by 5. Grace gave her an extra key to the place.

  While Grace was at work on the second day, Joan decided to take a jog. Changing into sweat pants and a sports bra, she walked from Joan’s place to the beach and bike path where she began to jog. She jogged for a couple of miles before she realized that she could well and truly become lost if she wasn’t careful. She walked back looking for something familiar. Relieved to see where she had come on the beach she spent most of the afternoon walking around Grace’s neighborhood looking at houses that she could see, going to the docks where they were open, a lot of them were private and unavailable. By the time 5pm rolled around she had spent most of the day out doors and it showed. Her face was tanned darker, her skin was flushed from jogging and walking briskly. She felt she needed a shower and headed for Grace’s apartment. Grace pulled up in her Jaguar as Joan walked up. Surprised to see her dressed the way she was and standing there Grace got out of the car.