“I heard, Hawaii wasn’t it?” She smiled brightly biting into her apple.
“Yes. It was lovely.” Grace was thinking why it was so lovely. She didn’t realize her eyes became sort of dreamy.
“I’ll bet.” She enthused. “I’ve always wanted to go there myself, but on a nurses salary I don’t think I’ll make it.”
“Oh I don’t know, I’m sure if you wanted to you could make it.”
“So what did you do while you were there?” She asked.
Just then Graces beeper went off. They were paging her to the ER. She had to go. Beth watched her hurry away. She thought of todays meeting as a real triumph. Most of the time they’d only speak for a few minutes like this. This one though was very positive. It made her hopeful.
~ CHAPTER 35 ~
Joan couldn’t seem to settle into a routine again. She was antsy. She had been sending her sketches back to the gallery for months as the books filled up. Yoshi had delivered them all to Grace a few weeks ago and the stack was in the center of her studio. She paged through them. Ideas galore but no spark to get her into a painting mood. She had thought about painting all during the darn tour and now that she had the opportunity, nothing.
She walked around their property. She looked out on the river. Nothing ignited the spark to paint. Instead all that activity caused her to become even more tired which in turn depressed her. The really rotten part was that it affected her menstral period. She’d noticed in the past few months that it had become spotty. She thought that it was due to stress from the tour and the wedding. Then she figured it must be the change of life. She was 45 after all. She should make an appointment to see a gynecologist or general practitioner. She didn’t have one of her own though as she rarely if ever went to the doctor.
The mail came and Joan absentmindedly opened it all without reading the front’s of who it was addressed to. She accidentally opened one for Grace from the bank. Alarmed at what she read she reached for the phone. Asking to speak to the president of the bank and identifying herself got him on the phone immediately. She explained that Grace had received a very rude letter from the bank regarding some overdrafts. He tried to interrupt as she was a different depositor than Joan. Joan informed him quite sternly that Grace and she had just married recently and that she wanted to cover any overdrafts now or in the future on Graces accounts. He was to transfer $100,000 immediately. He valued Joan’s business greatly and complied most willingly. He put a note in Graces electronic file for future reference to anyone who happened on this account. Concluding their business, Joan rang off.
Grace came home in a chipper mood. She was coming home to see her wife. Smiling widely at Joan about that she discussed what she had done that day and asked about Joan’s day. Not wanting to bum Grace out when she was in such a good mood she told her she had walked about the property and looked through all those sketch books. Grace had put the pile of them in the studio so she knew that alone could take over half the day.
A week went by and still the sleepiness persisted. Mrs. Richardson asked her if she was okay, her weird eating habits were even weirder. Finally, Mrs. Richardson mentioned something to Grace. Grace came home early that day. She found Joan dozing on the couch downstairs. Something Joan NEVER did. Worried she convinced Joan to see a doctor. She made an appointment for the next week with a GP she knew at the hospital.
That night they took a walk together in the cold winter woods. Grace was talking that perhaps they should get a dog. Joan was enthused about the idea but didn’t want the hair. They discussed different breeds but left it unresolved. Instead they began talking about their reception party which was scheduled for Friday. They couldn’t have their own barbecue in winter but had arranged for a barbecue through the caterers that they used. Everyone was coming and looking forward to it. Graces coworkers, Joans kids, their friends. It would be a pretty good bash.
Friday turned out to be a great party. It had snowed and the kids sled down the hill in back of the chalet, a few adults as well. Joan turned on the spot lights so they could see and sledding continued until after dark. Grace wouldn’t participate as she was sure someone was going to crack their head on all the trees. The best path to sled on was their walkway but that led right out onto the dock and Joan worried that someone would go through the ice. Nothing bad happened but it was hilarious all the same. The sledders and the snowball fighters all ended up in front of the roaring fire with hot cocoa, hot cider, and coffees. Grace had even found a popcorn popper for the fireplace and it’s steemy aroma filled the room and enchanted the children. The house was really crowded. A few people who knew about the Jacuzzi’s and steam room were using those. It was hilarious to see people in swimsuits use the jacuzzi in the gazebo as they had to dodge snowflakes and the snow on the ground. Bare feet, bare legs, and other bare parts exposed to the cold air and the snow made for funny moments. Brrr.
No one noticed when Beth arrived. It had basically been an open invitation at the hospital to those who knew Grace. Who knew Grace better than she, thought Beth. She couldn’t believe the house though. It was incredible. She could imagine living here herself. She looked into everything. She even snuck upstairs to their bedroom and poked around. The studio door was locked. After seeing an eyeful though Beth left. She hadn’t seen Grace or Joan in the crowd.
The party broke up after 2. Joan and Grace made sure that no one drove who shouldn’t be. Keys had been confiscated and before they would be handed to people they made sure they hadn’t been drinking or that they had a designated driver. One or two objected but overall the party was declared a success. They found one guy from the ER snoring away on their couch in front of the TV. Waking him gingerly they found he had no ride at all. He didn’t have a clue who he had ridden with so they got him a taxi.
Letting the caterers deal with the mess, Joan and Grace went to bed. Joan was exhausted. Grace was pretty tired from the party itself but pleasantly so. They talked for at least an hour, catching up on who said what. Joan was sitting in front of the vanity removing her make up when she realized that the cabinet door was ajar. Looking inside, things were moved around. She was pretty consistent about where she put things so that she could find them again. Then she noticed that her perfume bottle was missing. It had been pretty full and at the price she paid this caused her some alarm. Turning to Grace she asked “have you seen my perfume?”
Grace hadn’t and she came into the bathroom to look over Joan’s shoulder. Joan told her what she had found. They concluded that someone had come upstairs and pawed through their cabinets. Grace found where someone had gone through her clothes but not Joans. It was kinda weird. What could they do though, they couldn’t accuse any of their guests. Annoyed they went to bed.
Joan met up with Grace for lunch on Tuesday before her appointment. They were laughing and enjoying themselves when Beth came up. Joan had never met her before and Grace introduced them. She knew that Beth was a friend of Graces though and had heard her mentioned. She was very nice to her and invited her to eat with them. Grace shot daggers from her eyes at Joan but Joan didn’t understand. Beth was delighted to join them. She chatted for awhile before someone from the lab came to get her. Her break was over and they needed her back there stat. Happily saying goodbye to them she went on her way.
“What was that all about?” Joan asked Grace after she left. Grace was looking at her strangely.
“Aren’t you wearing a bit much perfume?” she asked instead.
Puzzled Joan said no. She only had her spritzer left since the theft and had used that sparingly. She showed Grace her wrist and mentioned she’d just had a dab on. Grace was puzzled now. She’d been almost overwhelmed by the smell for a minute there, then it hit her. When Beth had come up the perfume smell had been very strong.
“Joan, I need to tell you something.” Grace began. She told Joan about her friendship with Beth. It had all started out innocently enough. Two people getting to know each other. Joan wasn’t concerned. Then she told Jo
an how she had begun to sort of confide in Beth about how lonely she had been while Joan was gone. Joan reached across the table and pressed the back of Graces hand. Knowing about Graces dislike of public displays of affection, she didn’t linger. Then Grace told her about the movie incident. Joan was now beginning to get annoyed. Grace continued telling Joan about the practical stalking in the hospital and how her boss and Beth’s supervisor had become involved. She told Joan how she felt uncomfortable around Beth now. She finished with telling Joan about the overwhelming smell of the perfume.
“So you think this nutcase stole my perfume?” Joan asked her. She hadn’t noticed the overwhelming smell since she was wearing some as well.
Shushing Joan as they didn’t call people that Grace laughed for the first time. Shaking her head at Joan’s outrageous behavior. Joan knew better. “Yes, I think we know the culprit. It’s not like you can buy that stuff off the shelf you know.”
Joan knew that all too well. She had called in an order yesterday and winced when they told her the total. She asked Grace what she was going to do. All Grace could do is report it but she was sure nothing would be done as they really had no proof. She’d write it down in the incidents reports she was writing but it wouldn’t amount to anything. Joan was annoyed that Grace hadn’t told her about this as it was going on, she understood though that Grace had known how much stress SHE was under and had tried to avoid adding to it.
Soon after Joan went to her Doctor’s appointment and Grace went back to work. They met up again that evening and Grace asked her how it had gone. Joan told her that they had took some blood, asked a lot of questions, checked that she had all her limbs. She hated hospitals. Grace laughed at her.
The next morning Grace was paged to Doctor Baird’s office. This was the doctor that had seen Joan. She found Joan sitting in the waiting room fidgeting. Surprised to see her there she asked what was going on. Joan explained that the doctor’s office had called and asked that she come in today. She had asked that Grace be paged. She didn’t feel good about this. For some reason she felt like they were going to tell her she had cancer or something. Grace tried to calm her down.
The doctor called Joan in and was surprised to see Grace there. Joan explained that Grace was her partner and that she wanted her there. He had heard about Grace having gotten married to her partner through the hospital gossip and tried not to show his surprise. He had just thought Joan was a referral by Grace and had known nothing about their relationship. He had them sit in chairs in front of his desk as he sat at it opening Joan’s file. Clearing his throat he looked up at Joan. She tensed for the news, still certain it was bad. It was bad, but not what she thought.
“Congratulations Joan, your pregnant.” He beamed.
Of all the news he could have given her this was never what she had expected. Having expected a cancer announcement at least, this was just as bad. She sat there looking stunned, blinking and said “What?” She shook her head as though to clear her ears.
Still beaming he said “yes, the blood tests confirm it. We’ll have to figure out how far along you are. You should have mentioned yesterday that you were trying.” His smile encompassed them both.
Grace was looking at Joan as though she had grown two heads or something. She didn’t know WHAT to say. Shocked was not the word.
Joan suddenly laughed weakly “okay, what’s the joke?”
With that Grace turned with a smile at Doctor Baird, this had to be some joke.
He looked at them puzzled. Shaking his head he said “it’s no joke, the tests confirm that you are pregnant.” Seeing their faces he realized something was wrong. “Don’t you, WANT to be pregnant?” He realized he might suddenly be treading on thin ice here when he saw the look that Grace gave him and then turned on Joan.
Joan was still trying to figure out the joke. Frowning she said “there has to be some kind of mistake. I couldn’t possibly be pregnant.”
Shrugging he said “well my tests confirm it.” He passed the paper to Grace who took it, reading quickly. The test basically said positive. She was stunned.
Now Joan was getting angry. This joke had gone too far. Suddenly she realized as Grace read her paperwork that it was no longer funny. Looking at the doctor she said “Something is wrong here. There is no way I could be pregnant. Not possible. I’m not buying into immaculate conception.” Her jaw was tight, her eyes were boring into his.
Condescendingly he answered “you do know it doesn’t take penetration to actually GET pregnant don’t you?”
She was really pissed now. She stood up. Alarmed Grace looked up at her. “Do the test again. I’ll pee in a cup. Take more of my blood” she pulled up her sleeve to indicate the vein where they had taken it yesterday. A bruise had formed around the spot the needle had gone in.
Shaking his head at her complete disbelief he said there was no point. The test couldn’t possibly be wrong.
Joan couldn’t remember when she had been this angry. She could hear the pulse in her ears. He was wrong. What was wrong WITH him that he couldn’t see it. Trying to think of something to convince him she looked around the room and caught Graces expression.
Severe hurt was on her face. It was something she had never seen on Graces face. Even when Grace had pleaded for an explanation all those years ago for the silence between them she hadn’t looked this hurt, this vulnerable, this crushed.
Furious that this stupid, idiotic doctor had caused Grace all this pain for nothing and that he refused to run his dumb tests again Joan turned on him. “Your WRONG!” she shouted. “THE TEST IS WRONG!” She was getting out of control and trying desperately not to. “THERE IS NO POSSIBILITY OF ME BEING PREGNANT!”
He looked at her like she was crazy. He certainly hadn’t expected this from his announcement. Seeing Graces face though he thought he understood. Joan must have accidentally gotten pregnant without Graces knowledge. An affair perhaps that she could not cover up now. He thought he understood her anger now. He tried to calm her down but his condescension fueled her anger and unable to stand it anymore she left the office, banging his door hard enough to dent the wood paneling.
Grace raced after her and caught up to her as the elevator doors were shutting. Looking up as they closed she saw Grace standing there. Seeing the devastation caused by that man’s carelessness Joan told her coldly through gritted teeth “HE’S WRONG!” and the doors closed.
Grace leaned against the wall. She WAS devastated. Joan had been hiding something like this? She felt as though someone were squeezing her heart through a straw. As though, someone had punched her in the gut. My God! She had thought Joan was overreacting when she thought it was cancer but to see her reaction when told it was a pregnancy caused her to shake her head at the memory.
Beth was watching her from the nurses station. She had just delivered some paperwork and happened to see Joan leaving Doctor Baird’s office. Her hair was so distinctive there was no one else it could be. She heard Grace calling Joan’s name down the hall but apparently Joan didn’t hear her. She went to talk to Grace when she saw her lean against the wall.
Grace looked up to see Beth approaching her with concern on her face. Not wanting to deal with her today she held up her hand and said rather abruptly “NOT NOW BETH” and with that she went into the stairwell.
Beth turned and went back down the other stairwell towards the lab. She saw Joan leaving the hospital through the glass enclosure of the stairwell and stopped to watch her.
Grace too had seen Joan running from the hospital. She saw her get in her Mercedes and sit there for awhile. Grace saw her look up and see her. What she didn’t know is how much Joan saw. She watched as Joan backed up and then drove out of the parking lot.
Joan rode the elevator down in a mindless numb condition. What the hell was going on? What was she going to do? She couldn’t possibly be pregnant. There hadn’t been a man in her life that way since her marriage some years before. It had been more than 20 years. No way was this happenin
g to her. She ran out to her car and sat there to collect her thoughts. This was crazy. She started to sob and then got a hold of herself. She looked up and saw Grace standing in the stairwell watching her. She saw Beth standing in the other stairwell watching her. The glassed in stairwells were side by side and built so it wasn’t a fire hazard with a firewall between them and they were completely separate. Neither of them could see the other but Joan saw them both. Thinking for a moment she decided to leave.
As she left she grabbed her cell phone and dialed 411. Asking for a number she had it auto dialed, the hell with the $1.75 fee. She made an appointment for a half an hour from now.
Joan made it to her appointment with 15 minutes to spare. She sat in her car for awhile and jumped a foot when the phone rang. It was Grace. The first thing out of her mouth was “are you okay?” Concern came through on the line.
“I’m fine” came the cold reply.
“Are you sure?” Grace asked. She was so worried. She’d never seen Joan like that. She wanted to help her, to hold her, to scream and shout AT her.
“Yes” came an even colder reply.
“Is there anything I can do?” Grace was getting angry now. She should be the one upset at Joan’s apparent infidelity.
“No” Joan waited a moment and then “look I gotta go, I have an appointment.” With that she disconnected the call and switched off her phone.
Grace stared at the receiver for a long time. She hurt so badly. She didn’t know what to do. She had called from her office and now she just sat in her chair staring out into space.
Joan went into the planned parenthood office. She was right on time. She had to walk past protesters who shouted that she shouldn’t go in there. Annoyed she brushed them off. She signed in and filled out the questionnaire. She waited awhile for a nurse to call her in. They took her height, her weight, and all the BS. Her paperwork told them she was there for a pregnancy test and they gave her a cup and pointed to the bathroom. For the life of her she couldn’t pee, she was so upset. Relaxing finally she was able to fill the cup to the required level but she got it all over her hand much to her disgust. She washed her hands and left the bathroom. She handed the cup to the nurse who directed her to a chair in a little doctor’s office. She looked around the cubicle. God it was small. She felt almost claustrophobic. She paced which took only a few steps either way. She looked up as another woman came in the room.
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