Forbidden Darkness (Immortal Desire Series Book 1)

by Scarlett West

  Velta squirmed under her mother's powerful gaze. Decades ago, in defense of their coven, Laima killed some of Dita's family members, some of their own family.

  “You think it's healing to kidnap a human’s children? I call it cruel,” Velta sneered. “And you’ve always blamed Dita, but what if she was right about everything?”

  “Enough.” Laima heaved. “Don’t speak about things that happened before your time.”

  Reinis caught his sister’s reference. Laima had always said his aunt’s decisions were reckless. Laima was right, but he never involved himself in the argument.

  “I don’t care for humans or how they feel. They stole my father! There are thousands of reasons it would be better if a vampire bore the child!” Velta turned, lifted off the ground, and flew off into the night sky.

  Reinis wrapped his arms around his mother. He shouldn’t have fought with Velta. All he wanted was to protect them both. Instead, he hurt his already pained sister. He sat with Laima in silence, the moon rising over the treetops. In moments like these, they both longed for Rudis, though Laima never spoke the words aloud. She could only hide so much pain. Laima, her brother, Miervaldis, and the other elders guided the coven, but Rudis had raised them. Well respected among vampires, he traveled to many countries as ambassador and a peacekeeper for the House of the Black Swan—helping covens resolve issues. As a father, he offered sound advice about duty, the elders, and how to deal with their enemy cousins. He would have helped them now.

  “Where are the children?” Reinis spoke up. He hadn't seen them since Jani.

  “At home with Daina,” she answered in a distant voice. Her tone rang with sadness.

  “What’s wrong, mammu?”

  “I don't know what to do with Velta. I don't want to punish her, but if she defies us, I’ll have to. She's never been able to live life to the fullest, and she’s miserable and filled with rage. I'm afraid for her.” Laima said things Reinis already knew, but he let her speak to rid herself of some of the burden she carried.

  He didn’t know what to say. An unspoken tension stretched like a tightrope between them. Though she spoke of Velta, she included him in her worry about defiance. Maybe a visit with Miervaldis would help with Velta. He hoped, with every fiber of his self, that Laima would protect his secret.

  Sirsniņa. How he craved her smell, her touch, and her taste. His heart opened unexpectedly to her with their contact.

  Laima sat up. “Let's go. Ilze. I can smell her coming.”

  “She's my cousin.”

  “Yes, but she wants to kill you.” Laima stood.

  Ilze rapidly approached, flying toward them from the northeast.

  “I'm not afraid of her.” He stood, as she flew toward them in the night sky.

  “Fear is not the problem. I want to avoid confrontations.”

  “Good thing I'm not in the mood to see her either. Ilze and Andis were pissed when they saw me at Salacgriva.” Reinis laughed.

  “Reinis.” Ilze landed with a thud. “What are you laughing about?” she thundered.

  “You, Ilze. You and your brother.”

  “Shut up!” Ilze challenged, nose to nose, fangs fully extended, the veins around her temples dark as a cave.

  Reinis laughed again but inside he measured her stance. This wouldn’t be their first fight. Although taller than his cousin, her strength didn’t trail too far behind his.

  “I don't know why Dita sent Andis. Like he’s up for the task? Sarma was kinder than I thought, but she's not stupid.” He stood over his cousin and peeled back his lips exposing fangs.

  “It's not too late, Reinis. We all heard about the sickness. The baby might not make it. Someone else can be sent,” Ilze growled shifting her weight from one leg to another, her eyes locked with his.

  “Sure, Ilze, sure. I'm not worried. My mother's medicine is potent.” He turned his back on her. Cringing, he wished her statement wasn’t true.

  Ilze reached out and grasped his shoulder, squeezing to inflict pain. He peeled her fingers from his shoulder and walked away.

  “Don't turn your back on me. Laima, stop your son.”

  “He taunts you. Calm yourself.” The cool night breeze blew the skirt of her dress around. Laima remained serene, unfazed by Ilze’s attitude.

  “Better say nothing,” Ilze's retorted. She shot a glare at her aunt.

  Laima didn’t answer, not out of obedience but because it was a waste of her time to engage her bitter niece. The division hurt, but there was nothing she could do.

  “Good night, Ilze,” Laima replied, her voice level.

  Ilze stalked away, lifting up toward the sky until she disappeared.

  Reinis clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. He hated that Sarma had been put in this situation. Powerful as his mother was, her medicine made no guarantees the young would survive. Even with diminished abilities, the House of the White Swan could still find a way to reach Sarma. Dita’s elixirs were powerful, and she didn’t care whose body she left in her wake. Not caring that Laima was at his side, his blood curdled with rage knowing Sarma was in danger.

  Chapter 14

  “Sorry for ruining your vacation.” The flight attendant reviewed the safety features in the aisle next to Sarma.

  “And I shouldn't have flaked on you for choir boy,” Marita replied.

  Her fever had burned so hot that she wasn’t sure if she hallucinated. She remembered Laima singing to her, giving her tea, and rubbing her with a wet cloth. And Reinis! What about his sudden appearance? If he was there, why didn’t he stay? In her haze, she felt Reinis’ presence as if he were in her heart and he lifted her out from under water.

  The blurry memory of Reinis hung inside her like a lace veil. He argued with Laima—she could tell by their angry voices. Sarma asked if Marita visited her when she was so ill, but Marita insisted Laima kept everyone away. There was a good chance Reinis was a feverish apparition. Of course, Reinis and Laima didn't know each other. Why in the world would they be in an apartment arguing? Latvia was a small country, but not that tiny. Her fever must have been awful. Just her luck—getting sick the first time she visited her parents’ homeland.

  Now in the air, Gunita’s warnings returned to Sarma. Every time something negative happened in Latvia, the perpetual knot in her shoulder torqued with pain. Her mother’s worried voice blared in her ears adding anxiety to an already strange situation. Back at home, she planned to have a serious talk with Gunita.

  “You sure are quiet.” Marita turned to her with a serious expression.

  “I split up with Derek so close to the vacation, but I still have to live with him when we get back.” They’d been airborne for a while.

  “Simple. Come live with me until you find something.”

  “Maybe. It’s just going to be awkward.” Sarma glanced out the window.

  “True, but you’ll get through it. Good thing he’s never home.”

  Exactly why she broke it off. “But he’s going to pick us up from the airport.” Sarma gripped the armrest. She didn’t have anyone else to ask for that favor and Gunita was always too busy to help her with anything.

  “Take a deep breath, you’ll be fine. Or what, you regret breaking up with him?

  Sarma reclined back in her seat for a moment and then suddenly jerked forward. “No. I don’t. Even if I hadn’t met that guy, I still wouldn’t get back together with him.”

  “Good. Because he doesn’t deserve you. He had no good reason to tell you not to come on this trip. And that wasn’t the first time he said something like that. You live together yet he has another apartment. You haven’t met his family—”

  “Okay, okay. I heard enough. I still feel sick. Let me go to sleep.” Sarma turned away again, tucking the airplane pillow under her head.

  “What kind of friend am I if I don’t remind you? I waited forever for you to break it off.”

  “Fine,” Sarma said coolly but then warmed her tone. “You’re right. Tell me, what else is wrong
with him?”

  “That’s the main one. He’s controlling, and it annoys me. You’re an absolutely capable woman, but somehow you don’t see it.”

  “Like you’re so great, Marita. You ditch me if a guy winks at you.” How embarrassing. Fighting on a plane like two cats in an alley. Hopefully, most passengers were sleeping.

  “Fine. But I’m proud of you. I know it sounds crazy, but lots of people sleep with someone on vacation. Plus, it’s not just what’s wrong with Derek, it’s what’s right with this guy you slept with. I saw the way you stared at him.”

  Warmth wisped through her abdomen. He was delicious eye candy, and she wanted to eat him up again. “I’m not entertaining ideas about a one night stand.” But her mind overflowed with everything Reinis.

  “You've always been so hard on yourself.” Marita faced Sarma. “Haven’t you ever let go?”

  Sarma grimaced. That's what Reinis said before she slept with him. She glared at her, flipped back around, then tuned Marita out as she continued to blabber on about why Sarma did good. Sarma fell asleep in the midst of it, her body drained.

  One layover and they were on the next flight. Sarma rushed to the bathroom several times and threw up. There was no turbulence, she’d never been sick on an airplane, yet her stomach grumbled. She ate little during the flight, and nausea never let up.

  Finally, San Francisco's lights sparkled below them. Ugh. Derek was waiting below. This was going to be so uncomfortable. She dumped him almost the day before they left. No doubt the man would want to get back together.

  Customs took forever. Did everyone go on vacation at the same time? She froze and peeked at the long customs’ lines. Why couldn’t she be in a movie where she hid in the bathroom or jumped on another flight?

  “Our turn.” Marita nudged her forward.

  Outside, Sarma’s stomach clenched. Derek leaned against a pillar, arms crossed, dim eyes planted on the cold, tile floor. She did the right thing dumping him. She did the right thing.

  “Oh, hey, thanks for picking us up.” Sarma lifted her luggage onto the cart.

  “No problem,” Derek replied with a grin. The three of them walked in silence to the car.

  “You don't look so good.” He glanced at her from the driver's seat.

  “I got sick over there, and I still don't feel right.”

  Chatterbox carried on about their so-called vacation. Marita hinted multiple times how mellow it was, how they only hung out with family, and didn’t go out. Sarma wanted to tell her not to cover for her, that she didn’t need any excuses, but she stared out the window instead. Derek dropped Marita off at her apartment in San Francisco.

  “Call you later.” Marita pinched Sarma.

  Sarma reclined against the window, relieved the trip home was quick. They drove through the rolling hills to Penngrove, a small, quiet town with lots of farmland surrounding it. Derek's inherited home was a two-story ranch house with a porch in front and horse stables out back. Two acres opened up to a field where their horses could run.

  While Derek brought her things in, Sarma jumped into the shower. The hot water and the mineral body scrub refreshed her as she dragged her body through the motions. Odd how the exhaustion persisted. She turned off the water, and a peculiar sensation came over her. She swore she heard the zipper of her suitcase close. She slipped out of the shower and peeked into the room. As if he’d been rifling through her things, Derek snuck away from her bag and left the room. Sarma returned to the bathroom. A shade of sadness passed through her as she dried off.

  Back in the bedroom, Derek was already in bed reading a book as if he’d been there the entire time she was in the shower. As if he waited for him to join her. She should have showered in the downstairs bathroom. Old habits were hard to break.

  “How are Amber and Duke?” Sarma asked.

  “Good. Josh came over to feed and run them.” He put the book down.

  Sarma grabbed her suitcase and headed toward the door. She had no clean clothes but she had no desire to look for something right now.

  “You’re not coming to bed?” He put the book down.

  She craned back toward him. “Look, I appreciate you picking us up, but I’m sleeping downstairs. My decision stands. “

  “Wow, just like that, huh? After all we’ve been through. I thought you cared for me, Sarma.”

  “Not now, Derek. I’m still sick and need to sleep.”

  “Did you go to the doctor?” He pushed his short, sandy blond hair to one side.

  “Marita's aunt's friend took care of me. I don't remember much.” She gripped the top of the towel and shifted the bag. It started to weigh in her hand.

  “No one else got sick?” He pressed her. “I mean, it’s weird. Why did you—”

  “Geez, Derek, can you please lay off? I just arrived home, and the jet lag is killing me.” Her stomach was queasy.

  Sarma thumped down the stairs with Derek calling after her with more questions. She regretted returning to Penngrove.

  Chapter 15

  Reinis curled up in the back of a cold, dark cave and hugged his body close to the earth, trying to soothe his seared soul. Alone, away from Liepaja and Riga, in the silent, cool night, with the Gauja River flowing by. He wished his heart were numb. Sarma left Latvia without saying goodbye. Of course, she wouldn’t search for him. He wanted her to have a reason to find him. One last time.

  He reached into his pocket and clutched the disk he found on the beach. After he left her, he hid behind some trees until she rose and stumbled away. Alone, he stared absently at the sea. He sensed the illness slam her body like a tsunami. The disk lay in the sand where she had slept. He should have given it to Laima to return to Sarma, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

  Later he examined it. Real silver with had two familiar symbols on it, Māra's cross and Auseklis’ eight-pointed star. They were both sacred and used for protection. He hadn't seen anything like it in many years. Considering the disk was ancient, he wanted to know where Sarma got it.

  It should make him happy that in nine months she would birth a beautiful, baby boy. But it didn't. Ripping Auseklis from his mother would break her heart. Never had it crossed his mind how a bestower would feel until now. Humans were so clumsy to him, unaware, senses dulled, it always seemed right the children were raised in their vampire family.

  Sometimes a human mother would be sad about her “kidnapped child” but until Sarma, it never bothered him. People would think them cruel for their actions. But it was worse for an unaware mother to find her newborn baby dead, carbonized from the sun. What if she brought her child into the light straight out of the hospital, and it burned alive in front of her? What could be crueler? And it would arouse suspicion in their population.

  Vampires had experience to acclimatize the newborns. Dusk was the first sunlight the children ever knew, a soft, waning sun, and even better if the child was born in winter. But Sarma wouldn't know any of that.

  Inside the red, limestone cave, time had no marker. Three weeks could have gone by, and he wouldn’t have a clue. He plummeted into a deep, hibernated state, waking up when blood hunger annoyed him, but he didn't care enough to feed.

  Sigulda was a green, quiet respite. He loved the trees, the caves, the surging Gauja River. Staring into darkness, he clung to the peace, yearning for the rage coursing through him to quell. His veins ached. He tried to push himself back into hibernation, but he needed blood soon.

  His entire life he followed the elders, his mother, and father—everything done according to the hierarchy. The eldest ones tracked his every move.

  He always believed if he changed his mind and wanted a heartmate, he would be joined with a vampire. He hoped to find a full blood like himself. Now, there was Sarma. He wanted her for a heartmate. For her to be completely his in every way. Strange, but he even liked when she was irritated at the beach because it showed an intimate, genuine reaction. With their touch came a connection deep in their hearts. He craved to car
ess her now. To run kisses down her neck while gasps escaped her lips, allow her magnolia fragrance to wash over his senses, and penetrate her until she cried his name.

  A deep, guttural cry tore from his throat. If he reached Sarma, the elders would know. If he stole her for himself, they would find out. He would be cut off from his mother and sister, from the only life he knew. He risked being killed. If his mother told the elders he imprinted her, he was done for.

  Reinis pounded his fist into the dirt until a gaping hole opened up, threatening to collapse and take him down into the earth. Crying out in rage and grief, he wished the earth would swallow him whole. Night had come, and there was no one around. If humans were near, he wouldn't have cared. Another brutal scream. The veins in his neck bulged as he shook with torment.

  Chapter 16

  Weeks after Sarma had arrived home, her body still ached like she had the stomach flu. Exhaustion hounded her. Nausea spun her abdomen. She slept in every day, which in a way was good—the less she saw Derek, the better. A few days a week, he telecommuted. Often, he worked for days at the company in San Francisco. She was glad to have her yoga teacher’s job to pay for a place to live. She searched for an apartment online and checked out a few places in person. Nothing worked.

  Her salary wouldn’t cover the rent alone and Marita’s was an hour away—too far to commute. Plus, she couldn’t up and leave Amber and Duke. Who would care for them? Where would she put Amber? It would break her heart to separate the two. She couldn’t afford rent and horse boarding. And there weren’t many apartments around that had a place for horses on site.

  On the weekend, she distracted herself riding the horses. She combed Amber, her caramel-colored horse. Amber nuzzled carrot pieces from Sarma’s hand. With each chomp, Amber swished her tail and rolled her lips.

  The wind moved through the tall, yellow grass in front of the stables. Derek had worked in the city for the last three Saturdays since she had been at home, and she was so relieved to be without him. When he would come home, he’d repeated his interrogation, digging for information on how she got ill. It wasn’t the first time he questioned her about where she was and what she was doing. What did he think happened? She might quit her job and move in with Marita to get away from him. San Francisco had plenty of yoga studios where she could work.