Duke, Derek’s horse, squeezed in between Amber and Sarma, nodding his dark brown nose in her hand. He happily crunched carrots and gave Sarma kisses. She fed then combed him. After, she returned to Amber’s side, she smoothed her mane and scratched her on the nose. Both horses were strong yet soft to the touch. She needed to find a horse boarding stable for Amber. One more thing to take care of.
Her head ached and Sarma wished she’d stayed in Latvia, let all her things go, and looked for Reinis instead. Why hadn’t she done that? Forget that it sounded insane and stupid. What about the way he made her feel? Like a thousand romantic moments and a thousand nights of making love were distilled down to a single evening. And still, she couldn’t get enough. Besides, though he said he had a lot going on, she had the impression he took care of business and kept his head on his shoulders. That smooth confidence he exuded said it all.
As she scooped up Amber’s saddle, something rustled behind her. Footsteps crunched through the grass toward her. The hair on the back of her neck stood up, and her forearms tingled. She returned the saddle to its place and walked to the door. Derek jaunted up the path between the house and the stable wearing jeans and riding boots. Her stomach tightened.
“What are you doing here?” Sarma stood, hands on her hips, in the doorway. “I thought you were working.” Her voice was heavy handed.
“And I thought you would be happy I'm home. I wanted to spend time with you. Whatever happened, we can work through this.” Derek took her hand.
His touch made her stomach turn. She retracted it and ducked back into the stable. He followed her and for the next ten minutes pressured her to explain what he’d done wrong. Sarma repeated her reasons, avoiding an argument, but no matter where she turned, Derek tried to hook her into an argument.
Amber nervously swished her tail. Sarma had a hundred more angry comments race through her mind, but she kept them inside. The words were like bubbles in a shaken soda can, silent with pressure building. She shoved past him, went through the house, and took off in her Jeep toward the coast.
Her heart pounded and her burdens imploded as she careened down the highway. Reinis was the best she’d ever experienced. It was too easy to remember Reinis’ firm stomach against hers, the soft pressure of his lips on her neck, the way her thighs burned before he entered her. She stomped on the brakes at the coast, forced herself from the car, and lugged herself down the stairs to a small, empty beach. Sprawled out, she let the sand warm her, but her worries left her cold. She had to move out as soon as possible.
She went crazy with Reinis. Unplanned was not a good excuse—but the whole thing felt set up—her loneliness, Marita ditching her, splitting up from Derek. Reinis saying he was a right mistake. It all flooded into her mind. In a sense, he gave her permission to be intimate with him. But in her heart, maybe, she wanted it to be right. She wanted Reinis to be with her now, pushing up her blouse, unzipping her jeans. Her behavior was reckless. Reckless and delicious. She had to erase him out of her mind.
Sarma rolled over on her side and gazed at the sparkling water and clear sky. Nausea crept up her throat. She gagged and gripped her stomach. Were there parasites in Latvia? The screws in her brain were loosening and falling out of their slots. She was becoming unhinged.
All her life, she did everything by the book. Got good grades, dated a few guys, waited until she was older to have sex, went to college, and had a steady job. She had different boyfriends and had sex with most of them. But she never had a one-night stand.
Gunita would flip out if she knew her good girl had a fling. Sarma wasn't supposed to have one-night stands or go to Latvia for that matter. Maybe visiting Latvia pushed her off the deep end. She gripped her temples as she recalled the strange occurrences. She needed someone to talk to about what happened, but she had no one. And no one would understand anyway.
She sat up. The sparking waves washed up on the shore, leaving a crooked line of foam along the pebbly sand. Even the ocean air reminded her of Reinis’ sculpted body and the way he pleasured her before he finished himself. It was true. Though they talked about nothing serious, his genuine empathy and warmth were an invitation into him. Their conversation was as easy as chatting with an old friend. She wanted to hit rewind and do it all again.
Sarma stood and strolled down the beach. She analyzed how she had ended up sleeping with him. Loneliness wasn’t the only factor. Incredibly attracted to him from the beginning, she agreed every time he asked for permission to go further. He meant it when he offered to leave her alone. All of that made her hot, made it so easy to fall into his arms when the time came for their kiss. The kiss wasn’t enough. If she hadn’t gotten sick, she would have pushed past her shyness from sleeping with him and invited Reinis to join them on the rest of the trip. He was worth swallowing a bit of pride so she could get to know him better.
They could have hotel hopped, renting fancy rooms, kissing in castles and spending every night together. She wanted to feel his heat now, the grasp of his hands on her hips, his stubble rasping her cheek as he neared. Wanted to share his bed, for him to make his bed theirs, between silken sheets. She wished him to make her his. Again and again. Hard, soft, and everything in between.
Down by the waves, she dipped her toes in the icy Pacific water, hoping the chill would snap her back to her senses. As erotic as her memories were, they went nowhere. Tonight, she’d pack up her things and call Marita. Couch surfing didn’t sound so bad next to daily arguments. She hadn’t lived in San Francisco since she was four, but maybe an adventure would shake up her life and help her figure things out.
She pulled up to the house and hunched over the steering wheel, resting her forehead against it. Damn it. Derek sat outside on the front porch waiting. She made a beeline for the door but he offered her a mug of hot chocolate.
“I came home to get some things. I’m leaving tonight.” She remained standing and swung her keys around in her hands.
“What’s going on? You're really pale, Sarma.”
“I don't feel well.” Fog rolled in around them causing Sarma to shiver.
“Let's go inside. I don’t want you to go.”
She entered the house with him trailing behind her. Pack and leave. That’s all she had to do. “Look, we can’t keep going around and around like this. I’ve made up my mind.”
Sarma zipped toward the downstairs bathroom to get away from him. Her head pounded and her neck muscles constricted. He kept on her, at her heels.
“You have no one and no place to go, Sarma. If you give me another chance, this time I’ll take weekends off, do nice things with you.” Derek stood in the doorway, stretching an arm onto the door jam, not allowing her to close it.
Her heart raced. What was he capable of? “I need to use the bathroom. I’m going to stay with Marita and that’s final. Let me be.”
“You’re making a mistake. You’ll regret this.” He stepped away and his footsteps thumped upstairs.
Sarma called and called Marita. She couldn’t stay here. But he was right, she had nowhere to go. If she called Gunita, she’d rub it in about all of Sarma’s mistakes. Marita didn’t answer so she left a voicemail and texted her. Her savings were so low she couldn’t stay in a hotel. She didn’t get paid until next week and now Derek waited upstairs for her so she couldn’t pack a bag. Back in the living room, she curled up on the couch again and pulled the throw over her. Shivering, Sarma tried to get some sleep while she waited for Marita to call her back.
A thud on the window snapped her awake. She stirred and snuggled the thin blanket closer. Her mind raced to Reinis.
Another bump on the glass. She shot straight up.
Wind shook the branches of the large oak that stood close to their house. Dark, craggy shadows danced around the room. Living in a rural area, bats and birds sometimes hit the house. A faint warmth hummed in her sternum accompanied by a tinge of urgency. A warning? Now? In the middle of the night? Her eyes stayed open. The image of Reinis burst into
her mind again. But he was in Latvia and anyway, he didn’t know Sarma’s address. As she fell into sleep, there was another whack on the glass. The power of the warning increased.
The same daunting sensation that she felt in Riga—that someone was following her—hit her as if she was being watched now. She got up, checked the lock on the front door and the curtains but didn’t feel better. By the window, the buzz in her chest spiked as did the alarm. Confused, she shook her head.
Back on the sofa, the stillness of her body made her racing heart evident. Everyone found her in Latvia. Maybe Reinis had somehow discovered where she lived. Seeing his face would relieve her tension, but she didn’t dare peek out the window. It would be heaven to curl up with him right now, inhale his ocean and pine scent, and make out until the sun came up. How she wanted him now, grinding his hips into hers, dry fucking her until she came, then ripping off her jeans and doing it all over again until she was wet and drenched. She checked her forehead for a temperature, though she didn't believe she was feverish. Was she insane?
Penngrove was a quiet, rural town, where nothing much ever happened. Kind of like Salacgriva. A tiny village that also looked like nothing much ever went on there either. Pulling the blanket over her head, she sighed. The strange sensation that she was being spied on didn’t dissipate. Even with the blinds closed, two angry eyes burned a hole through her.
Chapter 17
Sarma frowned at her phone screen. She’d checked her bank account only to discover her funds were drying up. Soon she’d have to borrow money or head to a food bank. Derek left for a few days so she spent the day checking out apartments and applied for a couple spots. If only she could get together first and last month’s rent, plus the deposit together.
At the end of the day, her feet ached, and her mind weighed like a branch covered in snow. She stopped by a café, grabbed a coffee, and then ducked into the attached bookstore. Wow. When was the last time she enjoyed a good book or did anything by herself like this? She couldn’t recall it had been so long.
A mocha in one hand, she mindlessly wandered the store, weaving between displays, allowing her eyes to settle wherever a nice cover caught her attention. The store was open and spacious, with an upstairs for lounging and reading. A handful of other customers mingled, their heads downturned toward books. She picked up a romance and read the back cover while sipping her coffee.
A curious warmth hummed in her chest, sort of like the night before, but this time she had a logical reason. The coffee. Except with the whir, tingles spread over the back of her neck, and spread down her spine, as if someone ran the tips of their fingers across her bare skin.
She glanced up and peered around the store, but no one stood nearby or had their eyes on her. Her tight shoulders loosened, and goosebumps raised on her skin, though heat spread through her chest cavity and up her nape. Her cheeks and chest flushed. Reinis. He made her feel this way, all loopy and soft, craving wet, hot kisses, his strong arms around her waist.
The second time something brought Reinis to her mind and she had no idea why. Nothing in her immediate surroundings last night or today reflected him. Not like the beach that actually smelled salty and masculine. Besides, the book description wasn’t steamy enough to heat her up like this, and she still had the sensation someone tracked her moves. A motion drew her attention. Her eyes moved across the tops of the shelves and darted down the aisle.
A tall, dark haired man ducked around an endcap. Her sight still focused in his direction, she plunked the book down and took off after him. When she made the bend, only a petite, blond store clerk shelved items where supposedly he had gone.
“Excuse me, did someone, uh, a man walk by here right now?” Sarma tugged the end of her braid.
She paused and looked Sarma over. “I didn’t see anyone.”
Sarma scanned the open area next to them, but only a woman and her child pointed at a stack of children’s books. “Thanks, anyway.”
Her phone read five thirty. She was supposed to meet Gunita. Now she’d arrive back at the house late. She texted her mom as she hoofed it to the car, the hum still present in her chest. Plunking down in her Jeep seat, she swore she caught sight of someone in her side mirror as she closed the door. No footsteps echoed through the parking garage, but there were so many hiding spots if someone followed her. She gunned it out of there toward the house.
Somehow Gunita caught wind she’d broken it off with Derek and wanted to meet up. Sneaky bastard. He probably ratted her out. Gunita stopped by and they talked over coffee.
“I came by to tell you not to waste your chance. Derek is a good boy. What are you going to do now? Work as a yoga teacher your whole life? He has everything and you’re throwing that away.” Gunita sipped her drink and stared at Sarma, waiting for her answer.
According to Gunita, only one choice existed. Return to safety. To success. To Derek. “He’s not what you think he is. He cheated on me and I’m not getting back together with him.”
“All men do that. You can’t have everything.” Gunita stood up across the table. She rounded the living room and with a piercing glare, examined Sarma head to toe.
“Something’s different about you.” Gunita traced a finger over Sarma’s cheek. “I told you not to go to Latvia. Derek gave you an even number of flowers before you left. I knew it was bad luck. What did you do?”
Sarma’s stomach gurgled. “Nothing, Mom. I don’t know why you still believe in those silly old wives’ tales. It’s ridiculous.” What could her mother see? Was it possible for her to know about Reinis?
“It’s not ridiculous. I warned you.” Angry, Gunita’s face pinched. “I need to go. Think about what you’re doing, Sarma.” She stood up abruptly, grabbed her things, and left.
Sarma dry heaved. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and brushed her mother’s words away. How would her life have been if her father were around? He would have offset Gunita.
At night she brought a better comforter down from the upstairs closet and got comfortable on the couch again. On her phone, she surfed the web searching for rooms or apartments for rent and horse boarding. She still hadn’t found a place for Amber. The house was silent and she almost wanted to listen to music or watch a movie, just so the loneliness wouldn’t scream in her face. Scanning ad after ad, nothing appealed to her again. It was all too expensive or not the right situation.
A crunching sound caught her attention. She held her breath and her heart pitched as she strained to track where the noise came from. Footsteps circled the house toward the stable. Should she get up and look or hide under the covers, pretend she wasn’t there, and hope whoever it was would leave? How childish, but she sat frozen, her eyes searching the dark room, contemplating calling the police or Marita. And she was all the way in San Francisco.
It was such a crazy thought, but she couldn’t help picturing Reinis somewhere out there. That’s what she wanted to happen, but of course that was absurd. He had no idea of anything about her and after all, she was a one night stand. She left all the lights off and tiptoed to the back of the house where the French doors led onto the deck. After opening a curtain a sliver, she peeked out and surveyed the back field. The movement lights were off and she didn’t want to turn them on.
Only distinguishable from the dim moonlight, a shadow raced across the field between the stable and the house. Adrenaline shot through her. With her heart hammering, she dropped the curtain, and she balled up on the floor, hiding behind a bookshelf next to her. Her skin crawled and she stayed still until the footsteps suddenly stopped. She couldn’t tell where the person ran, but her instincts told her that was not Reinis.
She didn’t know how much time passed, but she waited awhile, then got up and turned on several lights. Who the hell was that? What did they want? And why did the person go by the barn? The same creepy crawly sensation rolled over her skin that had happened in Latvia when she ran for the taxi. Were the same people stalking her? That’s the way it appeared, but
she never had any proof. She nestled on the couch and fell asleep with the lights on.
First thing in the morning, she went outside to inspect the yard. Around the back of the house, Sarma stopped in her tracks. She covered her eyes and shook her head. A large, dark streak dripped down the stable wall. Adrenaline shot through her veins and her hands began to shake. She ran to the barn and peered inside afraid of what she’d find. Inside, Amber lay on the ground not moving. Duke stood over her keeping guard.
“Oh, no,” Sarma yelped. She crouched next to Amber and shook her. Amber was cold. Inert. Dead.
Sarma vomited, and her vision went dark.
Sarma woke on the sofa with Derek standing next to her. Sarma reached out a hand, but no one took it. Instead, she mashed her face in her hands. “Amber. She’s dead, isn’t she? What could have . . . who could have . . .?”
“Careful, you fainted.” He touched her forehead. “Maybe I should call an ambulance.”
“No hospital.” Sarma shirked away. “Did you see her? How did she die?” She closed her eyes. A tear rolled down her cheek.
“I checked on Amber but I don't know. I’ll call the vet and take care of this. I’m sorry about the other day. I got carried away. You don’t know how much you mean to me and you aren’t giving me a chance to prove it.” Derek sat on the couch arm.
“I appreciate you helping me, and helping Amber, but I’m trying to find a place to live. I don’t want to fight with you Derek, but we can’t get back together.” Sarma squeezed the cushion and wished Marita would answer the phone. She could just surprise her.
Forbidden Darkness (Immortal Desire Series Book 1) Page 11
