“I just came back to get a few things. I’ll call Dr. Carl to help with Amber, then shift things around at work so we can go on a trip together.”
Sarma stared past him, over his head, and focused her eyes on a picture on the wall of them. “I’m going to rent a room. I already called and am going to sign the lease today.” She answered with a tinny voice.
“I doubt that. I’ll be back tomorrow. Promise.” Without waiting, he breached her space and kissed her hard on the lips. She murmured no through her closed lips and pushed him away. With his work briefcase in hand, he continued on toward the door as if nothing happened.
Days passed before Dr. Carl had an answer for Sarma. The case was complicated but as an old family friend, he worked hard. Without a doubt, the blood matched Amber’s, but without the body, he couldn’t explain the cause. The police said they would look into it, but there were no witnesses or other evidence. Derek found a way to have Amber’s body removed. Said it was the least he could do. She was sure he did it to win points with her but it didn’t work.
Nausea seized Sarma. She didn't tell Derek. She didn't want him to know how jittery she was. Anxiety wiped her out. She spent her time staring into space. Occasionally, she’d scan the bedroom. The lace curtains lifted in the breeze. Fresh flowers bloomed on the nightstand. How long would she stay sick? It seemed like it had been forever but in reality, it was a little over a month. One month of nausea. Of exhaustion. Oh, no. She squeezed her temples, shaking her head. One month and no period. Her cycle was like clockwork. Sarma counted back the days.
Sarma jumped into her Jeep and headed to the clinic. She broke into a cold sweat. Maybe it was stress. She’d get checked for parasites. Or a severe strain of the flu. She couldn’t be pregnant, could she? How many days had it been—enough to be having Derek's child? No. No. No. Alarm filled her. She needed less complications and less attachments with Derek, not more. He was already working so hard to get her back. Wait, she had sex with Reinis around the same time, but she was on the pill the whole time. How could this have happened? Did she forget one day?
In the waiting room, she filled out papers as she propped up against a wall. She was too anxious to sit. Her tense shoulders ached. Every crinkle of a magazine page turned, every smack of gum, and every shift of someone else's body raked over her ears and nerves.
“Sarma.”
Oh yeah, the medical assistant was referring to her. She followed the nurse to the back of the office. Dizziness washed over her. Her heartbeat throbbed in her ears. No one spoke. But she wanted to shout at everyone to leave her alone.
“You’re pregnant.” The woman's expression was blank.
Sarma’s mouth dropped open. She felt the color drain from her face. Pregnant? It couldn’t be true. She always used protection. Did she forget and miss a day? The rest of the conversation was a blur.
Chapter 18
Outside his farmhouse, Reinis paced and pumped his fists. Through the imprint he glimpsed into Sarma’s emotions. Thousands of miles away, with a terrible paying job, and no family, she stayed at that house with that nasty human. Emotional paralysis buffeted her when faced with a gray, dismal, future. Her terror and shock from finding her horse dead radiated through Reinis and brought him out of the cave.
He’d visited Sarma’s house in secret and threw rocks at it. Followed her in that bookstore where she’d almost spotted him. He wanted her to see him so badly, he hovered too close, observing her drink that coffee, and hoped he’d get caught. But he couldn’t let that happen. Even if every last cell in his body ached and cried out to be close to her, he didn’t have any right to her. He should have forgotten her long ago but it killed him how much she wanted him too.
Funny, she thought of him as if she sensed him through the imprint. Warmth whispered through his loins. He’d smelled her rain and magnolia scent, that natural perfume and ached to go inside. To warm her up on that couch and take her somewhere far away. But he couldn’t scare her like that.
He was supposed to be on duty that night. Duty. That was another issue. Since Sarma, he couldn’t get hard with any other woman. One day soon, the elders would find out. He didn’t know how, but they figured everything out. Missing too many assignments would cause suspicion, but he couldn’t help it. Disgusted and seething, all he needed was thirty seconds to tear Derek limb from limb. If the pig didn’t spend so many days away, he might have done that already.
Reinis trembled the day Sarma had cried in her car alone. Her fear that she’d be tied to a person she didn't love weakened him. Forever. And what could Reinis do? Nothing. Damn it. He needed to control himself before someone sensed his thoughts and turned him in.
Standing outside the front door of their family home in their village Nica, his mother, sister, and Uncle Miervaldis argued inside. He didn’t want to enter, but he did anyway. Laima’s eyes were wide open, and his Uncle’s were narrowed.
“You should have seen her. She passed out,” Velta bragged.
Reinis smashed the chair against the living room wall. He grabbed Velta by the shoulders and shook her.
“Damn you, Velta! You hurt her!” He shoved her to the ground.
Velta bounced up onto her feet, charging after her brother. “Nothing good will come of that baby, Reinis! I hope she loses it!”
Miervaldis barged between them. As powerful as Velta was, Reinis could thrash her. Merciless fury rushed into Reinis’ blood. He clenched his fists and squeezed his eyes shut, catching his breath.
Velta opened her mouth to speak.
“Quiet, Velta. The elders have been called.” Miervaldis’ voice rumbled through the farmhouse.
Next to Miervaldis, Laima stood firm, commanding her children’s attention. Together, she and Miervaldis were a wall of power.
Velta's face fell flat.
“Reinis, don’t allow your temper to overtake your self-control. You have a lot to learn. Elders do not lose control. You are here to protect, not harm, your family,” Miervaldis directed.
Miervaldis’ serious tone penetrated Reinis who stayed quiet. Suddenly, he regretted throwing his sister, though he still wanted her punished. Losing restraint risked exposure.
The four of them walked to the nearby headquarters’ manor to present before the elders. Held up by four white columns and surrounded by a large porch, the building was nestled in a pine tree forest. Well cared for by their coven, three stories held 100 rooms used for guests and the elders when they stayed there. Maroon satin curtains shaded the large front windows on each floor. Black swan statues graced either side of the two towering wooden doors. A red banner with a black swan hung on the door, announcing their title, House of the Black Swan. The four of them entered, passing through the foyer, into a spacious hall in the center.
From the ceiling hung crystal chandeliers reflecting off the shiny marble floor. At the end of the vast hall sat eight wooden chairs carved with symbols from their folklore. A silver, eight-pointed Auseklis star was inlaid in the stonework between their seats. The other six elders sat while Miervaldis and Laima took their places, completing the eight elders, all of which were brothers and sisters from different families of their coven. Each point on the star represented an elder. They whispered among themselves while Velta and Reinis waited, heads bowed.
Forced to admit what she had done to Sarma, Velta broke down and cried. Ordered to stay away from Sarma, she had disobeyed. Velta whimpered the story: flying across the world, killing the horse, hiding in the dark to watch Sarma find the horse.
Reinis stood behind Velta. He breathed deeply, steadied his heartbeat, and cooled his temper. He was embarrassed—flying at Velta in a blind rage so close to where the elders would convene. What was he thinking? He had to maintain himself. Control his mind. The elders weren't paying attention, but with his mindguard down, they could hear his mind if they honed in. But he wanted his sister disciplined. She hurt Sarma.
“Velta, you were ordered away from the bestower. You cannot, under any circumsta
nces, put our entire future at stake again. What would our kind do if we lost Auseklis? Or if he were born through Dita's line?” Aivars spoke, his voice level but irritated. Powerful at 1,000 years old, his skin was smooth and fresh, his hair black, his eyes glinted hazel.
“Es saprotu.” I understand, she said, staring at the floor.
“We cannot choose who Auseklis’ mother would be,” Laima answered Velta’s thoughts.
“We did not feel comfortable having a human host this special child, Velta, but we had no choice. The dreams speak and we must follow.” Agnese, Aivars’ sister, spoke.
Always the hierarchy, Reinis noted, especially with the dreams.
“We’ve been watching you, Velta. We know this isn’t your first time getting near her. We have been aware of your transgressions since Sarma arrived in Latvia. As punishment, you must stay enclosed for three moon cycles. Your flying abilities are revoked. Never follow the bestower, or approach her again.” Aivars stated in a firm voice.
That’s all? Reinis almost let out an angry huff but instead he breathed deeply. Enclosure tortured Velta, even for one night. Three months would be hell on earth. She loved to travel to Poland, Lithuania, Sweden, Russia, anywhere but staying in one place. Besides, without her ability to fly, she would be vulnerable, so home was her best option even though it would drive her insane.
Velta folded her arms.
Reinis turned to leave the room.
“Reinis, wait,” Miervaldis called after him.
A chill passed through Reinis. Did they know? Had his mother revealed the truth?
“Yes, Uncle.” He stopped next to his sister and turned toward the elders.
Velta sneered at him.
“I expect more of you. You are older and more experienced. Your power grows, and you could damage someone you care about. You must learn from this,” Miervaldis warned him.
“Yes, Uncle.” He clasped his hands in front of him; his eyes focused on the floor to show submission.
The elders glanced at each other. Laima nodded in approval.
Relieved, Miervaldis’ words weighed on him as he left the manor to return home. Back in Reinis’ bedroom, Laima joined him. He drummed his fingers on his chest. His turn to get it.
“Reinis, I would be a hypocrite if I didn’t punish you for imprinting Sarma,” she paused, her lips pursed. “But if the elders find out, they will replace you. It would be a huge risk to put one of your cousins in charge. Not only would the elders question my decision, but also Sarma is highly desirable. I can’t trust anyone else.”
Reinis sat still but squeezed his hands together until they hurt. He held his breath, waiting for his mother’s words, hoping she would allow him to remain with Sarma, even at a distance.
“At this point, I have no choice. Dita’s family intends to harm her, and we are all aware of the threat we face. For now, you remain by her side, but if you so much as lay a finger on her in a sexual way, you decide your fate yourself. Death or exile.”
Reinis hung his head down. Her lightning words struck him, lacerating his heart. He held no anger against her. She could do nothing. He was fortunate enough not to be pulled away completely.
Under the cover of stars, Reinis flew to the nearby city, Liepaja, and roamed the pedestrian walkway that cut through downtown. Everything echoed their separation back to him. The gravity of the situation, inescapable. He didn’t regret defending Sarma and would do it again in an instant. Even against his own sister. Blood thirst rose in his throat. He found a man to feed on. Since meeting Sarma, other women repulsed him. After wiping the man's mind clean, he headed to Bernati, the local beach, to enjoy the night sky and savor Sarma’s safety from Velta.
But the ocean and the night sky weren’t enough to calm him. Too many dangers remained in Sarma’s life. Derek, Sarma’s number one obstacle to happiness, must be eliminated. Bastard was trying to get her back. Reinis had no right to claim her, but she was his. When Reinis threw rocks at her window, he sensed how entangled Sarma’s heart was with his own. It wasn’t only the imprint. Desire ignited the moment they first noticed each other. If Reinis couldn’t be with Sarma, there was no way in hell he would leave her to Derek.
The ocean moaned. Reinis stared up at the distant stars, feeling how far away Sarma was—across the world and out of his reach. But Reinis couldn’t swoop down and rescue her the way he wished. No matter what he chose, he would be her devastation.
Chapter 19
The phone rang, and Marita finally answered, immediately grilling Sarma about the baby. Was she sure it was Derek's? Had she calculated the days correctly? The ache in Sarma’s shoulder cranked into her head. Marita's questions pinned her to the wall. Not in the mood to talk, she quickly hung up.
Even if it were Derek’s, she didn’t need her ex-boyfriend to make a family. It would be hard, but plenty of women raised a child by themselves. A baby was the missing piece in her life, the hole that she didn’t know needed to be filled, to bring happiness and a family she’d always longed for. She faced the mirror and touched her belly with a gush of warmth. There was no way this baby was Reinis.’ Or was it? She imagined a beautiful, black-haired baby with green eyes. What if it was his? Bad idea allowing herself such a good fantasy.
The bedroom door banged shut, and slammed her back into reality. Derek stood up against it, a grin on his lips and a glow in his eyes. He was home? His car wasn’t in the driveway.
“We're having a baby?” Derek crashed into her, sweeping her up in the air with a hug.
Sarma’s arms hung limply at her side as he whisked her around, her feet dangling. Her mouth remained downturned. She’d been mumbling her thoughts out loud and didn’t realize it.
“What's wrong with you? Aren't you happy?” He examined her face with a wrinkled forehead.
“What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t home.” The words stumbled from her mouth. She could barely speak.
“I got dropped off. My car’s in the shop—this is great news!”
“I didn’t want you to find out!” Sarma shoved him to the side and raced downstairs. Every part of her screamed to escape Derek, this house, her life.
“Sarma! Wait! What do you mean?” Derek ran after her. “Come back here!”
She stared at him across the yard. Her heart clenched. She didn’t love Derek. She didn’t want a baby with him. Everything was upside down and wrong. “Go.” She charged into the field toward the stable. “Leave me alone.”
“Could you quit with the moodiness?” he yelled, but didn’t follow. Instead, he disappeared into the house.
This was no mystery disease and knowing she was pregnant explained her symptoms. Wandering through the field, she remembered Reinis’ touch, the taste of his body, the drench of their sweat mixing. Her emotions collided, her throat tightened, and it was hard to breathe. The image of Reinis returned to her mind. She only met him once. Once. She would never see him again, yet she wished it was his baby instead.
Why couldn’t she live her truth for once and leave? Get the hell out of there. Her throat clenched tighter and she groaned. Bile rose in her throat.
Her cell phone rang. Derek. She let it go to voice mail, and it rang again. She ignored it. The next time, she switched it off. Why did she always do what Derek and her mother wanted? What everyone else wanted?
But what did she want?
Sarma had no idea.
She was on a merry-go-round that would never stop spinning. Circles. And circles. Sarma buried her face in her hands. Sobbing loudly in the middle of the open field, her body wracked with pain. The truth smacked her between the eyes—she abandoned the person that mattered most. Herself.
After Sarma yelled at him, Derek left and hadn’t returned. Fine with her. Curled up in the dark living room, Sarma lay her head back on the couch arm and closed her eyes. In her dreams, she battled a stormy sea and thrashed her arms to stop herself from drowning. She woke in a sweat.
For the next few days, she stayed in the ho
use. By Saturday, Derek still hadn’t returned home. She really needed to look for a place to live, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. It wasn’t that she wanted to stay here, the problem was that after finding out about the baby she couldn’t face having to do anything. She wanted the baby, relished the idea of cradling it in her arms, nursing the boy or girl, and tucking the child in at night. The weight of not having anyone to turn to, not having anywhere to go is what got to her. What was she going to do? Standing in her room wrapped in a blanket, she stared out the sliding back door, her hand palming the cold glass. The day was gray and chilly. Shivering, she pulled the blanket around her.
Someone banged on the front door. She hung up, ran downstairs, and peeked through the peephole. Not sure if she felt sadness or relief, she pulled open the door.
“Surprise!” Marita squealed. Dressed in a short, strapless black dress and red heels, she dripped sex appeal. Her date wore gray slacks and a blue button-up shirt that matched his eyes.
“Hi,” Sarma grumbled.
“I came to perk you up. This is Gatis. Gatis, my best friend, Sarma.” Marita flashed her famous grin.
“Nice to meet you,” Gatis said with a smile and stretched out his hand. “We’re heading out for some fun and—”
“Come with us,” Marita interjected. “Let’s go out.”
The morning fog had burned off; and a brilliant blue sky peeked out from the white, wispy clouds.
“Come in.” Sarma motioned to enter though her stomach knotted. Great. Marita had a new “boyfriend”. Surely, he was the reason she didn’t answer Sarma’s calls.
“Derek’s gone?” Marita whispered as if Gatis couldn’t hear.
“Fortunately, yes.” Sarma kept her voice and her eyes low.
“Are you going to move soon?”
Sarma frowned. “That’s what I was calling you about.”
Forbidden Darkness (Immortal Desire Series Book 1) Page 12
