Forbidden Darkness (Immortal Desire Series Book 1)

by Scarlett West

  “Too late,” Velta muttered, still heaving.

  Reinis tore his wrist open and shoved it into Sarma’s mouth. “Mammu!” Reinis hollered. He had no clue how to help her, but couldn’t let Sarma die. No one came. “Mammu!” Reinis screamed again. With a finger on her wrist, he felt Sarma’s pulse. It barely registered. He placed his ear next to her mouth. Her breath was faint, her color drained.

  Blood gushed from his wrist into Sarma’s mouth and poured down her chin. She didn’t respond, didn’t drink the blood the way she as supposed to. He had no idea how to convert someone. He wiped blood onto his finger and placed it on her tongue. No reaction.

  “What’s happened?” Laima dashed into the room to Sarma’s side. She glanced at Velta, who had fallen on her side like an alley drunk. Laima pulled open Sarma’s mouth tipping her head back. The only way out was through the fire. She dribbled Reinis’ blood down Sarma’s throat, force-feeding her. Sarma rocked with harsh spasms, and clamped onto Reinis’ wrist. He held still, urging her to feed.

  Sarma viewed herself from above and watched as they tried to save her.

  “Drink, Sarma, please accept. Stop trying to close your mouth,” Reinis shouted.

  “Please, don’t fight it, think of your son,” Laima pleaded. “Please, don’t let things end like this. Not like the dream. Hold on, Sarma. Don’t let go. Stay with us.” Laima took hold of Sarma’s arm as if she would prevent her from falling.

  Though Velta no longer sucked her neck, the wound radiated pain. Burned as if a cigarette had been put out on her skin.

  Sarma didn’t want the red poison they fed her. She would die if she accepted it. The venom would kill her and her son. Below, her body lay inert. She glanced around the room. Her vision dimmed further. Reinis, Laima, and her body were dark shapes below. They faded, becoming part of the comforter on the bed. Sarma faced the edge of an abyss, her soul tipped toward it. A cold gust of wind blasted her from below.

  Auseklis kicked Sarma in the ribs. The baby’s harsh craving forced her to latch onto Reinis’ wrist. A foreign instinct from deep within her belly urged her to suck though her mind screamed to stop.

  A cacophony of voices shouted at her.

  “Don’t go to Latvia. Nothing good will come of it.”

  “I told you, odd, not even flowers.”

  “Sarma, you’re in danger.”

  “Watch for two that look like one.”

  “This one is called Auseklis.”

  “Protection against evil.”

  “You’re not our pack.”

  “You sent her to her grave, Derek. To her grave!”

  To escape the screams, Sarma tried to open her eyes but couldn’t. She told herself the voices weren’t real, but they rattled her brain. She tried to tear away but was caught like a fish in a net. Gunita’s angry face rushed through her head. The elder woman from the fish stand’s cackle echoed in Sarma’s ears. A wolf charged toward her and leapt into her chest hitting her like a shock wave. Not a wolf, a woman, she tried to convince herself. This can’t be real. Go away. Feverish heat, then cold, rolled over her. Sweat broke out all over her body. She wished to cut loose and run, but the roar within drove her to suckle.

  Each time Sarma wanted to tear away from the wrist, the wolf growled and barred its teeth. Red poison flooded her mouth. She wanted to shriek no, to shove Reinis away. The fluid made her gag, but a hand held her down as she gulped.

  This can’t be happening.

  “This is happening,” a stranger’s voice replied.

  “Don’t let me die,” her own voice shouted inside her mind.

  “You must die to live again,” the voice answered.

  Those same transparent images swarmed her mind like frantic bees. “Why? Why? Why?” Gunita hollered.

  The blood ripped through her veins like a thousand shards of glass cutting into her flesh. Her body tensed and thrashed. The urge to let go of the wrist surged. The wolf growled, and Sarma held on. Her heartbeat slowed, the rhythm waned. Then the transparent images faded, replaced with only one. Her own face. It floated in her mind until it, too, vanished.

  Sound disappeared. Light disappeared. Sarma disappeared.

  Chapter 44

  A sharp pain jabbed Sarma in the ribs. Auseklis kicked her hard again. He would die if she didn’t accept. As though her body was a buried bone, the wolf burrowed deep into her veins. As the woman lost, the wolf gained. The wolf leapt inside her heart and sprang her to life.

  Reinis’ warm blood replaced the ice cold of her body. Not red venom, red life. Sarma sucked until he pulled the wrist away. The suction broke. Instead of striking, she grasped for him, flailing her hands. She couldn’t open her eyes, but her breath rasped from her throat. Another wrist replaced his.

  Reinis gathered her in his arms. “Sarma, don’t leave me. Please, don’t die. I need you, Sarma. Fight. Fight for us. Fight for our son.” Reinis' words cut through the silence and rang in her ears. The other voices no longer spoke to her.

  Sarma sucked the new wrist. The pain subsided as the fluid filled her mouth. The tension in her muscles eased. Sensation returned to her limbs again, and her heartbeat thumped in her chest. Auseklis stirred inside her. She fluttered her eyes open to find her mouth on Laima’s wrist. Though part of her still didn’t want to feed, instinct told her to hold on, to continue for her son. Sarma sank her teeth in deeper, nursing the arm.

  Laima caressed her hair. “You’re safe, Sarma. You’re going to be okay.”

  After feeding, she lay back on the pillow and closed her eyes. Reinis took her hand and wiped her chin with a cloth. “I’m sorry. I had to do it. Velta tried to kill you. To save you I had to convert you.” He held her hand tight.

  Sarma shook her head, denying Reinis’ words.

  “I couldn’t let you or our son die. Forgive me.” Reinis leaned down, placing his forehead against her brow.

  Sarma lay limp, her mouth agape. The sights and voices crashed through her again.

  “Don’t move. You need rest.” Reinis brushed her hair with his hand.

  Sarma searched her mind. Though his touch didn’t feel real, she was alive.

  “Auseklis?” Her voice came out rough. She reached for her belly.

  Laima examined Sarma, pressing her hand on various sides of her stomach. Auseklis kicked her ribs.

  “He never stopped moving. He’s healthy. He urged me to drink the blood. I didn’t want to, but he made me,” Sarma rasped, struggling to express what she felt.

  “Shh, you don’t have to explain. Just rest.” Laima checked her pulse. “Your heart rate is rapid but stable. The change was difficult, but you did well.”

  Sarma smiled though her body weighed like a slab of lead. As she fell asleep, someone came for Velta. She had returned from the edge of darkness. She had almost died.

  When Sarma woke up, Reinis was holding her hand.

  “How do you feel?” Reinis squeezed her fingers. Dark rings hung under his eyes like eclipsed moons. Sarma had never seen him so haggard.

  “Weak. I was two people, one rejecting you, the other accepting what was happening. I thought I would break in half. I’m achy as if I have the flu. Kind of hungry, but the thought of food disgusts me.” Her voice was richer and fuller than it normally was.

  “Do you want to feed now?”

  “I don’t know. I know I need to. I’m so frail.” She wiped her forehead, heat and chills rolling through her body. Sarma bit her top lip and shook her head. Am I a vampire? “This is a dream, right?”

  “No dream, Sirsniņa. But the worst is over.” He squeezed her hand.

  Sarma closed her eyes. She wanted to be with Reinis but never anticipated that becoming a vampire would be the price she’d pay for entrance into his life forever. This wasn’t what she wanted, wasn’t her plan, and she couldn’t believe she’d been converted. As with Reinis’ fangs in her face, she doubted her existence. The only proof of the change were the physical sensations that filled her along with new abilitie
s. If she gripped Reinis’ hand hard enough she could snap his fingers. Downstairs, Daina played with the children, singing a song. Inside her stomach, her son’s heart thumped, bringing her comfort that he was fine, wriggling around.

  But when Reinis approached, her incisors grew, as did the frenzy to feed again. Her blurred eyesight dialed in on his neck. The tangy scent of his blood permeated her nose and the imprint buzzed stronger than ever.

  “Sirsniņa. Drink,” he urged.

  “Am I going to hurt you?” She shuddered. “Velta’s bite hurt like hell, like a branding iron had been forced down my throat.”

  “She did that on purpose. To hurt you. Biting and feeding can happen in different ways. But don’t worry, if you don’t have the intent to hurt me, you won’t. Stay calm and feed.”

  Sarma met his tender eyes. He pressed his wrist to her lips and held her, a strong arm curled around her back. Despite her doubts, she plunged her teeth into his soft wrist and allowed the blood to wash into her mouth. At the moment of perforation, his heartbeat thundered in her ears. That didn’t happen when she drank his blood last night. Without words, she sensed he liked her mouth on him. She was inside Reinis but apart from him. The blood tasted delicious, better than she imagined. Her weariness faded as she fed.

  “Just a little from me, Sarma. You will need more blood from others. Careful. Hunger can make you drain me, and I’m already tired.” He allowed her to drink for a few more minutes.

  On instinct, Sarma smoothed her tongue over his wrist, and the wound closed.

  “I can sense your emotions. It’s amazing.” She smiled. Pleasure built between her legs. Without thinking, she pulled back the robe she slept in exposing her breast. She needed Reinis inside her.

  “The imprint has increased since you’ve transitioned. That’s the usual feeling for us with our heartmate. But no, Sarma, you’re too weak. It’s dangerous. I want you, but we must care for you and Auseklis.” He stroked her hair combing it with his fingers.

  “Thank you. My heart beat is so erratic.” She closed the robe and sank into the peace he transmitted to her.

  Hilda entered the room. “I’m here to help. I brought you some teas, but first you need to feed on me. I’m stronger than Reinis right now, and my blood is pure like his, so it will build you up. Please.” Hilda sat on the bed in her regular jeans and blouse and extended her wrist to Sarma’s mouth.

  Sarma pierced her skin and Hilda’s heart thumped in her ears, but she didn’t join with her as she did with Reinis. Still, Hilda’s blood was sweet in her mouth.

  Hilda sat still with a plain expression. Feeding someone was an ordinary part of Hilda’s life—she was so matter of fact about the whole thing. Hilda’s confidence made Sarma’s doubts vanish. Wariness shifted into a sense of comfort. Sarma’s mind tried to understand the change, but her heart felt at home. The situation confused her, but with each drop of blood entering her veins she became immersed in her new self.

  “We feed from each other when we’re weak or sick. Normally, humans will do,” Reinis explained.

  Sarma cringed at the idea of feeding on strangers.

  Reinis held her hand. “You don’t have to worry about that now.”

  As she nursed, she understood the importance of vampires being raised among their own. Who would teach Auseklis how to hunt? Someone had to teach him. Not their own kind—her kind. She belonged with vampires. From this side, their kidnappings to protect the children didn’t seem so awful.

  Laima dropped into the room and checked Sarma’s belly, her pulse, her head, and then massaged her feet.

  “I was afraid the change might harm you, but you are an impressive woman, Sarma. You did well.”

  Sarma let go of Hilda’s wrist. Hilda licked it, and the wound closed.

  “Thank you, Hilda. I will call you if we need you again.” Laima dismissed her.

  “What’s going to happen now? To Velta, to us?” Sarma asked. The blood pulsed through her body. The fresh dose pushed the dizziness away.

  “They’re deciding that.” Laima handed her a warm cup of tea.

  “Deciding? Wait a second. I didn’t choose to become a vampire, I didn’t choose to be the one in the dreams. I came here because I love Reinis, but I thought if I was a vampire Reinis and I could be together.” Sarma slammed the cup down breaking it. Tea splashed everywhere.

  “The elders met this evening and are currently discussing it. The important thing is that Auseklis is safe.” She patted Sarma’s stomach.

  “Are you kidding me, Laima? That’s not the only important thing. You promised.”

  “Mieru, Sarma, be calm. Let my mother care for the situation. If anyone has helped us, it has been her.” Reinis caressed the top of her head.

  Sarma faced him. “You’re worried, Reinis. More than ever.”

  “I must go.” Laima served her more tea in another cup and handed it to her. “Please, your feelings are intense right now because of the change. You need to rest, Sarma.” Laima’s olive eyes glittered.

  “Reinis, do something. I’m one of you now, so what’s the problem?” Sarma sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. With the two feedings this morning, she became much stronger, though emotionally off kilter.

  Laima paused near the door. “Please, lie down. You’re fragile. This entire situation is new for us and we have to discuss it; this is a formality in the coven. I’m fully aware of our promises, but I must go so I can contribute a ‘yes’ vote to help you.”

  She left the room and Sarma relaxed back onto the pillow. She sighed. How would she survive alone if they didn’t accept her? They had to receive her into the coven, didn’t they?

  “I understand your worry, Sirsniņa. Believe me, you won’t have to survive on your own. Wait, I want to show you something.” He went to the dresser and took up a small mirror.

  Sarma pulled her hair away from her face. Her cheekbones had more of an angle to them, her eyes brighter, and her hair shinier. Her whole appearance glowed. She was pretty before, but now she was gorgeous. Drop dead gorgeous.

  “Wow. You have self-control. I’m this beautiful, and you didn’t want to make love to me?” Sarma grinned.

  “Wanted to, yes. Knew it was wiser for your health not to, another yes. There’s a difference. But you were a knockout before and are even more so today.” He tipped her face back and planted a slow, tender kiss on her lips.

  “Don’t—unless you’re willing to continue.” She giggled and hugged him. “Besides, I’m tired. Auseklis saved my life yesterday, making me drink the blood. He’s a little vampire, all right.” She laughed again.

  He snuggled next to her in the bed.

  “You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever known, Reinis. I can’t believe the elders are still discussing if we can be together.” She leaned her head against his.

  “Rest, Sirsniņa, rest. Don’t think now. Remember what Laima said, you aren’t stable yet. Your body needs quiet. Think of the baby.” He placed a hand on her belly and wiped her tears away with the other. “He’s moving.”

  She deeply inhaled to calm herself down, then smiled and slid his hand around her stomach, following their son’s movements.

  “He’s amazing. Does he feel the same inside you?” He glanced up at her.

  “Better than ever. But Reinis, the elders still haven’t decided. How can I survive without my son? Without you?” Her mouth turned down and her eyebrows pulled together.

  His eyes darkened and his mouth flat lined. He had no answers for his heartmate.

  Chapter 45

  Reinis and Sarma stood hand in hand on the beach in Salacgriva. The whole country celebrated Summer Solstice, and a crescent moon rose over them. A flower wreath hung around Reinis’ wrist. The Baltic Sea stretched out before them, glittering under the light of the rising moon. Soft waves tickled their bare feet, and Reinis felt divine with his heartmate’s hand in his. He still couldn’t believe how Velta had done them a favor, although he would never forgive his si
ster. She almost killed his heartmate, and his son.

  Behind them, the pine forest, which mingled with the white beach, rustled in the wind. He pivoted toward Sarma and kissed her on the lips.

  “What was that for?” Sarma asked, returning the gesture. An oak wreath dangled on her arm.

  “Because you’re alive, and because I can,” he said, a smile curved up his lips.

  “I’m still shocked how strong I am, how fast, how sharp all my senses are.” She giggled. “I see my reflection, but it’s like I’m looking at a different person!”

  Reinis laughed. “But it is you. Two hundred percent, incredible, and you.” He strolled down the beach, tugging her along. The soft waves washed around their feet. The sea waves only teased the shore compared to the wild Pacific Ocean. Those days felt light years away.

  “I still can’t believe the elders decided we could stay together.” Sarma scooped up a stone and skipped it across the water.

  All eight elders had voted unanimously to allow Reinis and Sarma to be heartmates, but the vote was a formality. They had no reason to keep them apart any longer. Even the last two elders had nothing to say once Sarma had become one of them.

  “Aivars is over 1,000 years old. He’s the oldest in our coven, but he’s stubborn as hell. At least he’s kept us alive, so really, I respect him, even if what he says doesn’t always make sense.” Reinis waded into the water up to his ankles as they continued down the beach.

  “I guess he has his right. It’s hard to think of him as my leader now. The whole thing is so different. As a human, I never understood your duty, your need to remain detached from me, to take my son away to be raised by your coven. But as a vampire, I see things differently. I would never want a human to know what I am.” Sarma kicked a wave as it approached and splashed Reinis.

  “Sarma, I was terrified when you passed through transition,” he paused and grasped her face. “My mother told us stories about humans losing their minds or dying. I thought I was going to lose you, if not your life, your mind.”