Return to Cancún

by Lena Malick

  She could tell his body needed sleep, no matter how much he was responding to her. She knew she needed to sleep too. Ever since coming here she felt like she didn’t want to miss anything by wasting time sleeping. She used to think of sleep as a wonderful escape, but now she didn’t want to escape, she wanted to experience everything and more.

  Still holding him, she moved on top of him, straddling him. The feeling of him first entering her was always intoxicating. She closed her eyes, absorbing the sensation of him filling her as she slid down on him, taking him all the way in.

  There was a light breeze, bringing with it all the lush, fragrant smells of the island. Some of island birds squawked in the distance, probably near their nesting place in the center of the island. Terra breathed it all in, tilting her head back. Her feet slid off blankets. She dug them in, the damp sand sliding coolly between her toes. The feeling of him inside her had created a kind of imprint on her body, as if it was now the natural state her body craved and always wanted to return to.

  Eyes still closed, she moved up and slid back down on him, feeling her body quickly go to that place of intense, sustained pleasure. She learned forward and very slowly lifted up, then down again, focused intently on the deep pleasure of the moment, like nothing else in the world existed. Leaning down further, she kissed his chin, feeling his warm breath push over her face.

  “Shhhh,” she said, as she pushed firmly down on him. She settled on his chest, resting her head in the crook of his neck. “Sleep, baby,” she whispered into his neck. “Just sleep.” He was still hard inside her, but she felt his body give way. He breathed out a long, deep breath, giving over to sleep. She closed her eyes as the night breeze brushed against her bare back with a hush. Still filled with him, she breathed him in, feeling a contentment she’d never known, and drifted off to sleep.

  She woke twice. The first time was about an hour after they fell asleep. He was asleep, but still inside her, and still fully erect. She stayed still, coming out of her sleep slowly, still dreaming. She was momentarily disoriented. A breeze brushed her back as she heard the sound of the waves.

  It took her a moment to realize he was inside her. She didn’t know such a thing was possible. A warm flush rolled through her body. She slowly sat up, looking down at him. He was sound asleep. She gently moved forward and back. He stirred, his head rolling to the side, moaning, but remained asleep. There was only the light from the moon and the soft glow coming from the boat lights. Looking at his face, Terra was so consumed with love for him she began to weep, her tears falling on his chest. She lay back down on him, nestling in his neck, and cried silently into the tangle of his hair.

  The second time she woke, it was early morning. They were in the same position, with her straddling him. Sitting up, she was amazed to realize he was still fully hard, deep inside her. The tide had come in. The waves were rolling up just a few yards away. The island had a fresh morning smell, tangy and vibrant. A light fog hung over the tree tops.

  Terra moved gently on him, feeling him in the center of her being. Looking down at him, his face was serene. As she had so many times before, she marveled at his beauty. His chiseled features were like that of a Roman god, or the work of a Renaissance sculpture. The muscles of his long, lean torso were sharply defined, the result of swimming, diving, and hard physical work. His dark, sun-streaked hair lie spread on the blanket.

  She watched his chest rise and fall. The medallion he usually wore had slipped to the side of his neck. She reached down and held it in her hand, brushing sand off the face of it with her fingertips. The feel of it brought back all the memories of when they first met, and her time back in Michigan—those late nights when she’d lie in bed, holding the medallion to her chest, desperately wanting to feel his touch.

  She sat still for a moment, taking it all in. She knew the island well enough to know the birds and animals usually make noise in the early morning, as if claiming the day. But all was quiet, except for some light chatter from some howler monkeys in the distance. Dropping her head back and breathing in the fresh morning air, she had the overwhelming sense that she and Nik were part of the natural world that surrounded them, like they were part of the elements. She felt an overwhelming sense of connection to both him and everything around them. She sat upright and looked down at him again.

  As she placed the medallion back on his chest, his head rolled to the side in his first sign of waking. A wave broke on the shore and the spray from it whooshed over Terra’s naked body. She shivered, pleasure shimmering through her as if she’d been sprinkled with magic pixie dust. She was amazed at the constant readiness of her own body. Though her hips were stiff from sleeping on him, she was slippery wet. She moved on him, pushing down and squeezing her pelvic muscles, clamping him in. The monkeys chatter got a little louder, followed by some low birdcalls.

  As she looked down at his face, she could both feel and see the progression of pleasure that had taken hold of him. She moved on him, slowly lifting and falling. He seemed to be in a state between sleep and waking, his eyes still closed but his back arching with her movements.

  She could tell from the tension in his body he was close to cuming. She loved the feeling of being able to bring him such pleasure, knowing exactly how to push him over the edge, and just when to do it. She hesitated, extending the moment, then pushed down and held, moving slightly forward and back. He tensed. His body shivered. He opened his eyes and looked up at her, coming out of his half sleep. He was greeted with her luminous face looked down at him, glowing as it was lit from within, her hair falling forward over him.

  “I love you,” he whispered.

  “I love you too.”

  As she looked into his eyes, she saw all the tension leave his face—it just slipped away at the sound of her words. She felt his first burst inside her. She held tight, clamping onto him. Looking into her eyes, he released in long, shuttering spasms. She could feel the eruptions deep in her center. Her own climax began to roll through her in shimmering, glistening waves of bliss.

  The birds and animals increased their chorus of voices, expressing their gratitude for a brand new day.

  ~ ~ ~

  It rained for the next three days. All the work came to a halt. Nik rolled the doors shut and closed all the windows in the house, as if they were going into hibernation. “Even the road in will be closed from rain. Best to just wait out,” he said.

  Terra was so used to sleeping on the boat or on the island, she forgot how good a real bed felt. She also didn’t realize how tired she was. The last six weeks had been non-stop. Not just physically, but emotionally.

  The first night, they slept ten hours without even stirring, and the next day took a long nap in the middle of the afternoon, followed by a luxurious bath together. The rain was torrential, coming down in sheets, ensconcing the house in a comforting vibration of sound.

  Late in the afternoon, when Nik settled in with a book, Terra took the opportunity to call Vicky. She’d been pretty good about calling a couple times a week, but they usually only talked briefly, if at all, always catching each other coming or going. This time her timing was perfect.

  “Damn, girl. What are you going to do?” Vicky asked, after Terra updated her.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Have you talked about it? I mean, you’re not exactly neighbors.”

  “I know.”

  “But you love each other?”

  “Yes.”

  Terra heard Vicky let out a long exhale. “Well, not to state the obvious, but how exactly is that going to work? You’re supposed to be back here starting your fall classes in less than two weeks.”

  “I know.”

  For the next two days, they slept, had sex, ate, and read. They took full advantage of having the house to themselves, making love whenever and wherever they pleased—in the bathtub, the kitchen, even on the dining room table. Terra took on a domestic role she never knew she possessed. She’d never been much for cooking, but she
’d learned a few things since being here, and found she loved cooking meals for Nik. She was as surprised as anyone to find this domestic streak in herself, taking secret pleasure in bringing him cups of tea while he read.

  The entire time, Terra was trying to figure out what their future together might be. She knew Nik was thinking the same thing. He was writing in his journal a lot, which Terra knew meant he was either planning something or trying to figure something out. She wanted to talk to him about it, but before she approached him, she wanted to have some ideas herself, and not just expect him to take care of it all.

  On the third day, it was still raining hard. It was early afternoon. Nik was sitting on the couch, writing in his journal. Terra brought him a cup of tea. She was restless and decided to go for a walk, despite the rain.

  “Now? In the rain?” he asked as she handed him his tea.

  “Yeah.”

  “Do you want company?”

  “No, you drink your tea. I won’t be gone long.”

  Terra put on shorts and a tank top. Though it was raining, it was still warm outside. She stepped onto the deck and was instantly soaked. It felt wonderful. Walking along the shoreline, the wet sand felt good on her bare feet. Spidey called out to her from his perch at the top of his tree, as if to let her know he hadn’t washed away.

  Terra stopped and looked out at the water, watching the rain pound the ocean. She realized she hadn’t spent any time alone in long time. At home, being alone was normal. It was what she was used to. But not here.

  She strolled over to the buildings they had been working on, feeling pride in knowing her hard work had played a small part in their creation. Most of the work was done. She was amazed at how much she’d learned since she’d been here.

  She walked over to one of the buildings. It was the one she asked Nik about when she first arrived—the one he said he didn’t know what they were going to do with. The door hadn’t been put on yet, so she walked inside. She stood in the middle of the large room, dripping on the bare concrete floor. The sound of the rain pounding the roof made it feel like she was in the center of a drum circle.

  She sat on the floor. A slight sadness took hold of her, for the first time since she’d been here. It felt foreign, like sadness just wasn’t normal in this magical place. But she felt it. And she knew why.

  This was Nik’s dream. Though she’d helped recently, and felt she fit in here, it was still his dream. She was just borrowing it. Her dream was to be a pediatrician. They’d had many conversations about dreams and ambitions, and how important it was to work hard to make them come true. He’d done that. But how could her dreams fit with his? What would that mean for their future together? Did they have one?

  She looked around the empty space, imagining what it could be used for.

  A medical clinic, she thought. For kids. A free medical clinic. She stood up and turned in a circle, thinking. There was a need for it, she knew. She’d gone on trips with Carmine to the outskirts of town to get building supplies, and seen the poverty many of the children lived in. But how could you fund something like that?

  Soon, her mind was racing as she paced around, imagining it. Was it possible? Maybe. Just maybe. She could see it.

  Then doubt barged in, as it usually does when she starts to feel confident that she can do something. A medical clinic? Are you high? Ha ha ha. You really think Nik would want a bunch of sick kids coming here? That may be your dream, but it sure isn’t his.

  Terra looked out the open doorway, toward the ocean. Through the gusts of rain, she could see powerful waves rolling in. Nik always looked out at the ocean, and now she felt she knew why. It was a source of strength. As she watched the water, she could feel herself getting stronger.

  Not this time, she told her old nemesis.

  She needed a pen and paper to make some notes. She had a dozen thoughts she needed to get down. If she was going to talk to Nik about it, she wanted to have some specifics.

  She went back to the house. When she got to the deck, she grabbed a towel and went into the living room. Nik was still writing in his journal. She noticed he was griping the medallion in one hand. He was sitting forward, writing quickly, his eyes intent.

  She stood, toweling her hair, about to ask him where she could get a pad of paper when suddenly he looked up at her, as if only now noticing she was standing there.

  He said something to her in Greek, his eyes bright. It sounded like a question. He did that sometimes when he was excited. “Shit. Sorry. I mean to ask, when does your university start?”

  “Ten days,” she said a little too quickly.

  “Anna called me,” he said. “While you were on your walking.”

  “Your sister?”

  “Yes. You met her last year.”

  “I remember. Is she okay?” Terra asked, sitting on the edge of the coffee table.

  “Yes. She’s graduating college, in Athens. She wants me to be there. To fly out there. Tomorrow. It would be important to my mother as well. You know how mothers are,” he added. His face fell as he realizing his mistake in reminding Terra of her own mother that had passed away. “I’m sorry,” he said.

  “Are you going to go?” she asked, a panic rising in her she wasn’t sure she could control.

  “Yes.”

  “Oh.” A wall of grief was about to hit her like a breaking wave. She looked down at her lap, trying to hold it off. The voice of doubt barged in. Ha ha ha, a medical clinic!

  “If you’ll come with me,” he said.

  She looked up at him. “To Athens? To Greece?”

  “Yes. Will you? I’ve thought about it. I’ve planned it out. We could leave tomorrow, see? The season’s almost over here anyway. Carmine can finish up. You can fly from Athens back home in a week or so. Will you? Will you come with me? Please.” He took her hands. “Please say you will.”

  “Yes. Yes, of course, Nik. I’d go anywhere with you,” she blurted out. The tears came anyway. Now she wasn’t sure if they were tears of joy or relief, but they streaked down her face as she kissed him.

  He soon sprung into action. “Phone! Where is phone?”

  “In the bedroom,” she said.

  He leapt up, letting out a huge whoop!, and ran off to the bedroom.

  Terra, her heart still in her throat, went into the kitchen to make their lunch. She needed a distraction to help her calm down. Nik came back in, holding the phone, looking concerned.

  “No reception. Landline is down too. Must be the rain. How am I going to get tickets?”

  Terra stood there, feeling helpless, holding a knife with peanut butter on it. Nik looked out the window at the pouring rain.

  “I know,” he said suddenly, heading for the front door. He grabbed his jacket from the hook on the wall. “I’ll be back soon,” he said over his shoulder as he bounded out the door. She watched out the window as he ran across the sand, pulling his jacket on.

  Lunch sat in the kitchen, untouched. She couldn’t eat. Her thoughts were racing. What did this mean? Did he want her to meet his family? He’d talked about his huge family, the brothers and sister, aunts and uncles. She had them all pictured in her head. And his mother. His mother? What did that mean?

  She tried to distract herself with a book, but couldn’t concentrate. She saw his journal sitting there. She was tempted. What had he written? His plans. She knew she would never read his journal, would never invade his privacy like that, but she didn’t welcome having to fight off the temptation. It would be in Greek anyway, she realized, which made it easier to resist.

  It was more than two hours later when he returned, soaking wet but excited. He took the bandana off from around his face. “We’re all set,” he said, giving her a happy, wet kiss. “We leave tomorrow.” He was not only wet, but nearly covered head to foot in mud.

  “How? What did you do?”

  “I went to the airport, and bought the tickets,” he said, running his hand through his wet hair. He looked insanely sexy, she thought. S
he wasn’t sure why. His boots were muddy, his jeans were wet and dirty, and his shirt was not only muddy but barely hung on his body, having lost a few buttons somewhere along the way.

  “I thought the road was closed,” she said, watching him as he pulled his shirt up and wiped his forehead. She always loved his belly. It was flat, with strong, rippled muscles, and two thick muscles along the sides that dropped down into his jeans, forming a v shape. His jeans hung low on his hips, pulled down from the weight of the water. There was a line of hair that ran from below his belly button, down into his jeans.

  “It is, but I take the motorcycle. The dirt road is all mud now, but I make it.” He looked so happy. And so… sexy, she could hardly stand it.

  “That’s great. That you were able to make it through,” was all she could think to say. Watching him, she felt her body temperature going up. She briefly imagined herself on her knees, pulling those jeans down off his hips…

  “I’m so glad you going to come. So, so glad.” He took a step toward her. “I’d hug you, but I don’t want to get you muddy, so I should probably—

  She leapt at him, throwing herself high into his arms, straddling him. She wrapped one arm around his head and cupped his face with the other. Getting wet and smeared with his mud, she opened her mouth and kissed him with a lusty intensity. Kissing her back, he slid his hands under her shirt, grabbing her breasts and sliding his other hand up her back. His rough handling excited her even more.

  She was still clasped around him, kissing him, when she heard him undo his belt.

  He lowered her to the floor and roughly yanked her shorts off. Standing back up, he looked down at her. He pushed one of her legs open with his boot, then slowly unzipped his jeans, pulling them down just past his hips. His enormous erection sprung forward. He kicked open her other leg, spreading her wider. Fully exposed, she looked up at him as he stroked himself, looking down at her.

  “I’m going to fuck you now.”

  He fell on her, still clothed, wet and muddy, smelling like rain and dirt. He greedily pushed into her. She wrapped her legs around his upper back, opening herself completely to him. He was soon thrusting into her, his wet hair spraying her with water. She’d tapped that animal side of him she’d seen only a few times. It was the only time when he became completely focused on his own needs, fiercely driven to satisfy his hunger. The few times it had happened in the past, he felt compelled to apologize to her later, for being what he called a “selfish lover”, but she secretly loved it. She loved that she could drive him to it. And she loved being the recipient of it.