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Blackacre

Page 2

by Monica Youn


  to deaden.

  Some surfaces

  cannot be salvaged.

  Leave them

  to lose function,

  to exist only

  as armature,

  holding in place

  those radiant

  squares

  of sensation—

  the body a dichotomy

  of flesh and

  blood. Wait here

  in the trellised

  garden you

  are becoming.

  Soon you’ll know

  that the strictures

  have themselves

  become superfluous,

  but at that point

  you’ll also know

  that ungridded

  you could

  no longer survive.

  QUINTA DEL SORDO

  Saturn Devouring His Son (Francisco Goya, 1819–1823)

  how can I

  ask you to

  absolve me

  my fingers

  still greasy

  with envy

  gaudy oils

  still smearing

  the dim walls

  the quiet

  chamber of

  my mouth

  LANDSCAPE WITH DEODAND

  a road

  in the trees

  from the sound

  of it

  a milky

  shift

  in the water

  where the silt

  shelves down

  and the wet

  branch beating

  for its life

  against the pages

  of that book

  EPIPHYTE

  Ficus urostigma

  This is an allegory

  for what has been discarded

  but not dislodged;

  what sifts down

  from any new avowal—

  And already you’ve paused,

  (wary / testing the air).

  Your hands trace tentative arcs—

  anticipating a familiar

  tension, some unseen strand—

  but encounter nothing

  (no imperative syntax)

  (no webbing of ownership / blame).

  Because the tree cannot hear,

  this cone of sunlight

  is all the bugle it knows

  (an answering flicker / a flare).

  What alternate insistence

  could muster itself

  against this upward rush,

  this eager branch

  exposing its throat

  (irreproachable)?

  It was not your hands

  that smoothed

  new bark

  over the hectic light

  (its coruscations / blades and jags).

  It was not your hands

  that pulled

  the grain of the wood

  into this simplicity.

  As must happen with any

  ardor, the outermost

  layer of the new branch

  hardens into a wall.

  Such indifference

  does not trouble itself

  with seamlessness,

  but to find a lapse there—

  to find a hold in it—

  is not to gain permission,

  is not enough.

  (Even in this wet air,

  it is not enough.)

  One green pane

  of a leaf drops down,

  an ant’s detached

  antenna—

  a seed falls

  from a bird’s

  unappeasable body.

  A little twirl of air

  guides them down the trunk

  as if down a glass staircase

  (not to a room)

  to a landing,

  a crevice

  (not a cradle).

  Tethered to its perch

  (its purchase)

  the seed will starve,

  will be absorbed into the tree

  that is not its parent tree—

  (no respite)

  it must wrest

  its attention

  outward and downward,

  toward sufficiency.

  And the roots go

  ribboning down

  (prodigious)

  and at ground level, a feast

  that is inexhaustible,

  so that its mode

  now shifts

  from hunger

  to celebration

  (the excuse of survival

  fallen away).

  It is almost unseemly—

  this exulting—

  the maypole

  the seed has made of its body.

  And you would claim

  a stake in this:

  your hands sketch

  buttresses, spires

  (phrases from the gestural

  vocabulary of triumph).

  As if your hands

  could hasten

  the host tree’s withering,

  the growth of the hollow column.

  As if, by sweeping outward,

  your hands could draw

  (subsistence / substance)

  from the horizontals of the ground.

  As if these motions

  (touching nothing)

  were still enough to feed you.

  III

  The rhizome is an anti-genealogy.

  A Thousand Plateaus: Capitalism and Schizophrenia

  (Gilles Deleuze & Felix Guattari, trans. Brian Massumi)

  GREENACRE

  Annuit cœptis

  But what if a given surface is coaxed into fruitfulness wrongfully?

  For instance, this lushly verdant plain. Imagine it dialed back to featurelessness, each spiraling stalk retracted, each filigree rosette slow-blinking shut. Dialed back to bare promise, to smooth-napped expanse—the forehead of an alien princess might convey such tranquility: she surveys her ranks of suitors, shakes her exquisite green head, in scarcely feigned regret.

  So thinks Cadmus—hand still outstretched in a nation-building gesture—as if to freeze in time this instant: scatter of seeds still aloft, arrayed like little dive bombers in formation.

  Not yet puncturing the land.

  Not yet rooting, not yet sending up terribly thin, ambitious tendrils toward the light.

  Not yet trained onto wire-frame espaliers, not yet combed into bombastic pompadours, not yet extruding seed-pods resembling pale grapes, resembling pearls.

  The root of “remorse” isn’t tooth—he recalls, abruptly—but to bite, and then stoops, groping for the biggest rock he can find.

  BROWNACRE

  After the clear plastic sheeting has been pulled back, folded away

  After each woody rhizome has been pried loose from the soil

  Each snarl of roots traced to its capillary ends

  Twigs and pebbles tossed aside, worms reburied elsewhere

  After the soil has been rubbed through a sieve

  After the ground has been leveled with rakes and stakes and string

  No need for further labor, further motion

  Nothing has been sown

  Nothing is germinating in the raw dirt

  The light strikes each granule the same as any other

  A windlessness rises

  Becomes a precondition

  Why is it hard to admit you couldn’t live here

  No one could live here

  This is not the texture of the real, lacking attachment, lacking event

  This is neither landscape nor memory; this is parable, a caricature of restraint

  But why does this shame you

  Even now you’re trying to hide that your gaze is drifting upward

  This plainness cannot hold your attention

  You’re searching the sky for some marker of time, of change

  In a cloudless sky the sun beats down

  But if you observe that the sun warms the soil, you must also concede that the soil wil
l grow colder

  The sun stains only the body, and the body is what is simply not at issue here

  GOLDACRE

  digitize

  from the Latin “to finger

  or handle” as if

  to sink your fingers

  deeply

  into this

  flood of light

  hard not to grip

  hard not to shape handfuls

  loaves

  for the hooded basket

  something to store away for later

  something to place upon the slab

  the light

  a richer color now

  wrong to regret

  the reddish undertones of day

  wrong to regard them

  as a kind of ripening

  the young morning

  grommeted

  with minutes

  threaded

  with wisps of wool

  no signs of resentment

  furrow

  the infinite

  amenability of dawn

  no sounds

  suggesting discord

  from the songbirds

  tethered

  to their wheels

  WHITEACRE

  You probably have noticed if you’re in a brightly lit room filled with white light, it is difficult to see colored lights. That’s because those individual colors get masked by surrounding white light. In the same way, … [o]ther sounds will get masked by white noise so they become less detectable. TM Soft White Noise Player

  Proleptic flinch

  of whiteness—

  the hunch

  of shouldering

  into it, stoic

  glitch zipping up

  its jacket of static—

  knit fabric

  of interlocking zs.

  The apotropaic

  as abject, self-replicating

  reflex

  of self-defense.

  Vain camouflage

  that functions

  as neither shield

  nor shelter:

  the canker’s milk

  nourishes nothing;

  the ice rink

  exudes only

  its own doom.

  REDACRE

  “What is it you fear?”

  Don’t Look Now (Nicolas Roeg, 1973)

  couldn’t stop / himself picking

  his red / lest it

  pinken lest / it pale

  itself into / mere proudflesh

  mere scar / new skin

  makes a / smooth mound

  hurt hungers / for rebirth

  the mouth / that eats

  everything then / eats itself / raw

  GOLDACRE

  We have seen claims that Twinkies … aren’t baked, the sponge cake instead being “a pure chemical reaction” involving something that “foams up”; the deception is made complete by coloring the confections’ bottoms brown to make it appear that they’ve been baked…. As always, the truth is far less exciting than the lore. Snopes.com

  as if

  you were ever wide-eyed enough to believe in urban legends

  as if

  these plot elements weren’t the stalest of clichés: the secret lab, the anaerobic chamber, the gloved hand ex machina, the chemical-infused fog

  as if

  every origin story didn’t center on the same sweet myth of a lost wholeness

  as if

  such longing would seem more palatable if packaged as pure nostalgia

  as if

  there had once been a moment of unity, smoothly numinous, pellucid

  as if

  inner and outer were merely phases of the same substance

  as if

  this whiteness had been your original condition

  as if

  it hadn’t been what was piped into you, what seeped into each vacant cell, each airhole, each pore

  as if

  you had started out skinless, shameless, blameless, creamy

  as if

  whipped, passive

  as if

  extruded, quivering with volatility in a metal mold

  as if

  a catalyzing vapor triggered a latent reaction

  as if

  your flesh foamed up, a hydrogenated emulsion consisting mostly of trapped air

  as if

  though sponge-like, you could remain shelf-stable for decades, part embalming fluid, part rocket fuel, part glue

  as if

  you had been named twin, a word for likeness; or wink, a word for joke; or ink, a word for stain; or key, a word for answer

  as if

  your skin oxidized to its present burnished hue, golden

  as if

  homemade

  BLUEACRE

  The Passenger (Michelangelo Antonioni, 1975)

  The hotel room window is large, seven feet tall by five feet wide, extending down to the floor. It opens inward, two casements with four windowpanes per side. The window opening is nearly a foot deep, painted white, stucco over cinderblock.

  A grille of wrought-iron bars protrudes outward from the frame as if to allow for a window box. The bars feature the occasional decorative touch—finial-like ornaments where they intersect, and a scrolled-iron flourish at the sill. The lower bars may once have been a Juliet balcony, but at some point, a second set of bars was clamped on top. The bars of the top half don’t line up with the lower half.

  The wooden sashes of the casements have been painted a dirty cream, backed by faded, pink foulard curtains.

  The window looks out on an old arena—perhaps a bullfighting arena—about a hundred feet away. Yellowish mud bricks with a foundation of rougher, darker beige stone and bricked-in Romanesque archways. A faded red wooden door is visible to the right, with a Moorish-inflected archway, framing a blue round of sky.

  Little flakes of birdsong, blunted chisel-strokes.

  Between the arena and the window, a motionless expanse of gray-beige dust. The glaring sunlight hits it flatly, as if to subdue it further.

  An old man in a gray shirt and pants slouches in a chair against the arena foundations. A small black-and-white dog lies near his feet.

  A high-pitched voice—a woman’s or a child’s—scolds someone in Spanish.

  The dog gets up, looks back expectantly at the old man, who fans himself with a newspaper.

  A man’s voice, speaking Spanish.

  The red door opens, and a man walks out, carrying something bulky over his shoulder, perhaps a folding chair, perhaps an umbrella. He props it against the wall next to the old man. A brief exchange.

  An engine chugs softly like a toy train.

  A rounded, pale-blue car crosses slowly from right to left, not raising the dust. A blue L sticker adheres to its front bumper.

  The second man returns to the red doorway and pulls the door shut.

  The dog moves left, sniffing the ground.

  A shadow to the right, thin as a spear. It is your lover who walks diagonally away from the window, dragging her sandals through the dust. She stops about twenty feet away, looking back. She swivels to face the window, her eyes tautly focused as if in defiance.

  A tinny fanfare from a distant trumpet.

  Your lover turns, and, with conspicuous slowness, continues walking away, head and arms hanging down.

  The little blue car crosses close behind her, the red word ANDALUCIA now visible on its signboard.

  Your lover passes out of sight to the far left.

  A murmur of far-off voices, metallic as if amplified.

  A small boy in a red shirt runs in suddenly from the left, stops in front of the old man. He bends down, picks up something, throws it—toward the old man? toward the dog?

  The old man begins berating the boy in Spanish.

  The dog emits a single, muffled bark and runs away.

  The gravelly rasp of an approaching car, which the boy turns to face.

  A lozenge-shaped, pale-green car cross
es from left to right and stops abruptly. Only its rear bumper remains visible to the left, bouncing with the suddenness of its braking.

  The boy runs off.

  Two car doors slam shut.

  A black man in a tan suit and a white man in a gray jacket emerge from the green car.

  Three muted chimes from a faraway church bell.

  The two men look toward the hotel window, confer briefly, arrive at a decision. The man in the tan suit walks toward the hotel, smiling affably. The man in the gray jacket walks off to the left, toward the car.

  The swish and slam of a car door opening and shutting in quick succession.

  A woman in a red tank top, flounced miniskirt, and red platform sandals suddenly jogs across the square from left to right.

  The man in the tan suit, startled, turns to look at her, then continues toward the hotel.

  The green car pulls away.

  The church bell rings five times, pausing between each knell.

  The creak and thud of a wooden door cautiously opening, then shutting. Its latch engages with a gentle click.

  The small dog returns to the old man, still sniffing the ground.

  A shadow is reflected on the window, subdivided by its panes.

  Your lover comes into view back by the arena. She’s staring toward the window. She walks, still hesitant, toward the hotel.

  Offscreen, the car door opens and shuts again.

  The man in the gray jacket reappears and begins walking in a decisive manner toward the hotel.

  He pauses to look in the window, raises his right hand in a gesture of acknowledgment, then walks hastily away toward the arena.

  He notices your lover and briskly intercepts her, speaking quietly, his words drowned out by an amplified Spanish voice from the arena. He puts his hand on her shoulder and turns her back toward the arena. They walk away together, as he continues talking.

  An engine turns over, upshifts to a high-pitched whine.

  A muted bang, like a tin box falling to the floor.

  Your lover pauses by the arena, and the white man leaves her standing there.

 

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