The Paradise Will

by Elizabeth Hanbury

  ‘Yes,’ he said, fixing his eyes on her face as he waited for her answer.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Alyssa burst out laughing. ‘You can’t mean it, Piers! What an absurd suggestion – this must be some sort of joke!’

  ‘I would not jest about a proposal of marriage!’ he said coldly, raising his brows.

  Undaunted, she gave another chuckle. ‘But-but you surely don’t profess to be in love with me?’

  ‘Lord, no!’ he admitted, ‘Naturally I’m fond of you, Coz – you know that – but I don’t love you! I thought we might rub along well together and no need for it to amount to more. A business arrangement is what I had in mind.’ The idea had seemed plausible enough when Piers was planning it, but now he had voiced his proposition, he felt a little sheepish.

  ‘You are offering a marriage of convenience?’ she cried.

  ‘Yes, that’s it exactly – that’s the term I was searching for.’

  ‘And the reason, of course, is money.’

  He shrugged. ‘Damn it all, it is for money: you have something that is rightly mine; my crushing debts leave me no place to turn, and I see no other way out of my current difficulties. Are those reasons sufficient, Alyssa? I am desperate enough to suggest a marriage of convenience. I’d help you run the estate for a share in Hawkscote’s wealth, but I’d place no other restrictions on you – you’ll be free to go your own way, and I’ll not interfere.’

  ‘How very obliging,’ she remarked, in a dry voice.

  Piers ploughed on, ‘Marriage to me would also relieve you of Charles’s attentions, who is the dullest dog I know and not fit to kiss the hem of your gown. And he doesn’t care for you one jot – by God, he can’t even show his face because of a pathetic fear of catching scarlet fever, whereas I have proved my genuine concern for your well-being.’

  Piers’s indignation was manifest in every syllable, and he continued to argue his case. Alyssa listened in silence but eventually brought his discourse to a summary end by shaking her head and saying abruptly, ‘Oh, cut line, Piers! You are mad to think of this, let alone speak of it.’ She rose to her feet, and said, ‘Thank you for the compliment but I will not marry you.’

  ‘But you need help and I need money! If we married, we would both get what we want.’

  ‘No,’ said she, firmly. ‘That is my final word and I beg you not to embarrass both of us by asking again. Indeed, I half expected you to – but no, I will not talk of that now. You must be blinded by your debts and a sense of injustice to suggest this. You might have known I’d never agree.’

  ‘It was worth the attempt.’

  ‘Worth the attempt?’ she echoed, with a scornful glance. ‘Were you so desperate for money you lost all sense of my character, and how I would react? Good God, if I were a man, I’d land you a facer for being a fool, and a mercenary one at that, and it would be well deserved!’

  ‘I only wanted what is rightfully mine were it not for Uncle Tom’s backhanded trick, but I should have accounted for your stubborn streak of independence,’ he admitted, his tone increasingly defensive.

  ‘I would not countenance marriage to express gratitude, or relieve me of Charles’s attentions. I can achieve both perfectly well by other means.’

  ‘I see that now,’ he muttered, shrugging a petulant shoulder.

  Piers fell silent and shuffled uncomfortably. Alyssa could see his anger ebbing away as quickly as it had appeared, to be replaced with disquiet and no small measure of embarrassment. Piers looked like a sulky schoolboy who had been caught red-handed on some escapade. She had responded to his proposal with laughter, but it was unconsciously done, and he thoroughly deserved to feel foolish. However, Alyssa had a tender place in her heart for her wayward cousin and could not help feeling sorry for him in his desperation.

  Seeing his expression, she said in a softer tone, ‘Come, Piers, I bear you no grudge for your proposal, or the flawed reasoning behind it. We need not speak of it again. You do not really wish to marry me, even for money. And haven’t I promised to alleviate the worst of your debts when I can? You will not be rich but you will be comfortable; Uncle Tom would have wanted that much, I know. Besides, you have not yet fallen in love and when you do, you will not want a marriage of convenience. You will desire to be with the person you love every minute of every day, and find you cannot enjoy life without them at your side.’

  Piers laughed ironically. ‘Living in someone else’s pocket sounds deuced uncomfortable. If that is being in love, I don’t hold out hope of ever finding it. There are only two women I’ve met whose company don’t irritate me: you are one, the other is Letty—’ He stopped, looking up slowly as though a thought blinding in its novelty had occurred to him, and repeated in a whisper, ‘Letty!’

  Before Alyssa could reply, the door opened and Letty came in. She looked quite lovely, dressed in a dark-green riding habit trimmed with braiding à la hussarde. Her long skirt was swept up over one arm and she held her gloves and riding crop in the opposite hand; a single dark-green feather curled down over the brim of her dashing hat to caress one cheekbone. Piers stared at this charming picture as if he were seeing her for the first time, before muttering ‘Damnation!’ furiously under his breath and flushing to the roots of his hair. ‘G-Good morning!’ he stammered, ‘I have been speaking to Alyssa.’

  ‘I know.’

  The guileless look accompanying this reply held no clue to whether Letty had overheard. Her colour was a little heightened and she was not smiling, but otherwise, her features were serene. She let the demi-train of her gown fall to the floor and, pulling on her gloves briskly, prompted, ‘I am ready to leave now, Mr Kilworth – if you are?’

  ‘Yes, yes of course!’ he said, almost leaping forward in his eagerness not to keep her waiting.

  Alyssa watched them leave with her brows drawn together. Letty would be extremely hurt and angry if she had overheard Piers’s idiotic proposal. She was not a girl to show her feelings, but Alyssa thought she detected a dangerous gleam in Letty’s eyes which did not bode well for her cousin. Piers, Alyssa was convinced, was more than halfway to being in love with Letty but had not yet realized it; whatever direction their relationship took now, his path would not be an easy one.

  ‘It will do Piers no harm,’’ murmured Alyssa, to no one in particular, ‘and might even be the making of him.’

  After enduring Letty’s frosty silence for over half an hour, Piers could bear her animosity no longer. As they skirted the wood riding side by side on the narrow path, he glanced at the figure beside him. Letty, sitting proudly erect in the saddle, stared straight ahead, every line of her body speaking eloquently of an uncertain temper and Piers wondered where to begin. Finally, he ventured, ‘Miss Ravenhill, y-you may have heard me speaking to my cousin. If you did, I should like to explain—’

  ‘There is no need!’ she interjected furiously, roused at last from her self-imposed quiescence. ‘I may as well confess to hearing most of what was said – unintentionally, as your voices were raised and carried into the hallway – but why you think it concerns me, I have no notion!’

  ‘I was a buffle-headed simpleton to suggest a marriage of convenience,’ he said, urgently, ‘and by God, I feel my idiocy more keenly now. I’m not proud of my behaviour. Alyssa was right – like a regular Johnny Raw, I’ve been blinded by a sense of injustice but that does not excuse my folly. Nor does it mitigate my role in other events during recent weeks—’

  ‘What events?’

  ‘They no longer matter.’ He coloured, and gave a short, humourless laugh. ‘I’ve made a complete fool of myself. When Alyssa spurned me, I felt only relief. She saw straight through my offer and laughed in my face, but her words afterwards’ – he looked again at Letty and lowered his voice – ‘well, her words made me realize what was before me and I had not seen.’

  She regarded him with kindling eyes. ‘So, a few words from Alyssa and you saw the error of your ways? How fortunate! Now you may extract yourself from th
e moral turpitude you have fallen into and make amends for your infernal selfishness!’

  ‘Yes … no! Letty, I understand you are very angry but—’

  ‘Of course I am!’ she exclaimed, her cheeks reddened with wrath.

  ‘—you are furious at my cavalier treatment of Alyssa, and rightly so.’

  ‘Yes! But also because … because I thought … oh, it cannot signify,’ replied Letty. She gave a sob, and waved one hand in a dismissive gesture. ‘As I said, it is your business entirely.’

  ‘But I want to explain about seeing things clearly at last,’ he protested.

  ‘Then speak and be done. I wish to return home; I only accompanied you because I was too proud to admit to hearing everything.’

  ‘Damn it all, I will speak!’ he declared, reaching forward to grasp the rein of Letty’s mare and bring both horses to a halt. ‘Miss Ravenhill … Letty!’ he pleaded. ‘I made a terrible mistake proposing to my cousin, but doing so allowed me to see what I have been blind to all this time – it is you I love!’

  Her eyes, wide with shock, flew to his.

  ‘I love you!’ repeated Piers.

  Letty gasped and flung back in a low, throbbing voice, ‘How dare you! Have you no scruples? You propose marriage to one woman and declare passionate love for another in the same morning. Astonishing! You are a consummate actor, Mr Kilworth. From the desperate tone of your voice, I could almost believe you mean it, but I know how charming you can appear. Your dramatic ability does you credit and it might fool a more gullible lady. However, it is wasted on me.’

  ‘But my love for you is no act! God knows I’m not worthy of you, but I beg you will listen while I explain.’

  Letty declared coldly, ‘I cannot stop you when you have charge of my horse’s bridle.’

  ‘I deserve and expect no succour, but hear me out!’ He inhaled a steadying breath and tried to continue in a more composed fashion. ‘I liked – was attracted – to you from the moment we met. When you appeared I thought I had summoned up a vision from my subconscious: you were the embodiment of my dreams. Even when you made me question my life and admonished me for scowling, I thought you beautiful. But it was not just your beauty which appealed, there was something else … you intrigued and beguiled me somehow.’

  Letty gestured impatiently again with one hand. Piers grasped it, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles as he spoke again earnestly, ‘I continued to enjoy your company, both before and during Alyssa’s illness. I looked forward to our every meeting; I was conscious of bitter disappointment when you were busy and could not see me; I watched in admiration as you nursed Alyssa with little regard for your own health. Whenever I thought of you, I felt joyful and more content but, fool that I am, I was too busy making other plans to recognize what was in my heart. It was only when Alyssa said if I truly loved someone, I could not enjoy life without them that I suddenly realized I loved you! Darling, I’ve been a damned fool, but I’m placing my heart at your feet and asking your forgiveness.’

  ‘Why should I?’

  ‘Because you are what I have been searching for. I can’t imagine life without you. Nothing else matters – Hawkscote, money, new carriages, fine clothes – all are worthless compared to having you. I can offer little else but my love but I’ll do everything in my power to make you happy and give you the life you deserve.’ He smiled ruefully, adding, ‘I’m not flush in the pocket, but I’ll try from now on to live within my means, if you will only give me hope. With you at my side, I’d willingly face the Devil and all his hounds of hell!’

  ‘Fine words and a very touching speech,’ replied she, removing her hand from his grasp, ‘but you can hardly expect me to take you seriously when you offered marriage to Alyssa this very day. You might say anything to inveigle yourself back into favour.’

  ‘Deuce take it, I wouldn’t say I loved you!’ he said, exasperated.

  ‘But how many other women have heard those words from you?’

  ‘None! There are depths to which I will not sink, and whispering false words of love is one. I love you, only you, and I have never spoken thus to any woman.’ He edged his horse closer. ‘Letty, believe me, I need you more than I can say,’ he murmured. His gaze roamed her face and, seeing the curve of her cheek, the long dark lashes contrasting with the pale curls peeping out from beneath her hat and the stormy green-grey eyes that looked back with defiant candour, he said, ‘Lord, how lovely you are! I cannot resist any longer.…’ With that, he deftly transferred the reins into his other hand and slid his fingers along her jaw. Using his thumb to tilt her chin, he bent his head and tentatively pressed his lips to hers. For an infinitesimal moment, Piers felt her respond and emboldened, made a low sound in his throat and deepened his kiss. Desire shot through him, pounded through his veins and he reached for her, only to be brought sharply back from the edge of ecstasy by the crack of a riding crop across his forearm.

  ‘Argh!’ he cried out in pain, clutching where Letty had struck the blow. ‘What was that for?’

  ‘A reminder! I am not some light o’ love to be treated with contempt then won over with a kiss.’

  ‘Damn it, I do respect you: you have my love not my lust!’ He rubbed his arm, winced and said indignantly, ‘There was no need to place your crop about my arm!’

  ‘On the contrary, there was every need and you were lucky not to feel it around your head,’ she declared roundly. ‘Don’t take liberties with me, Piers, I’ll not stand for it. Perhaps you should know an hour ago I would have given everything in this world to hear that you loved me—’

  Hope flared in his eyes but Letty held him off with a shake of her head.

  ‘—but after what has happened, it is no longer enough,’ she continued. ‘My feelings are not to be trifled with as you have done today.’

  Piers’s head dropped. ‘Dear God, I’m sorry for causing you one moment of pain,’ he said disconsolately. ‘How can I convince you?’

  ‘Show me.’

  He studied the curve of her mouth, remembering their kiss, and muttered, ‘I have tried.’

  ‘Not in that way,’ she said, sighing heavily. ‘I don’t doubt you could shower me with kisses but I need more; show me you intend to change, that you mean what you say – only then will I believe you truly love me.’

  ‘But I can’t be a paragon!’

  ‘I don’t want a paragon!’ she cried emphatically. ‘All I want is the man I have glimpsed beneath the selfish exterior – the engaging, kind, humorous man I know exists. I don’t wish to change every aspect of your character, Piers, only remove the cynical veneer you insist on hiding behind, and ask you to become a man – a man aware of his responsibilities and his place in the world, and who is willing to embrace them.’

  ‘I’ll do anything you ask, but please say we can return to our easy relationship.’

  She shook her head again, and blinked away a tear. ‘If I can forgive, it will take time and there must be some distance between us.’

  ‘Can’t I see you?’ he asked, eventually.

  ‘Not alone. I cannot avoid you because we must occasionally meet in company, but I ask you not to importune me further until I choose to speak of it again.’

  He uttered a deep groan and expostulated, ‘How long must I wait?’

  ‘I-I don’t know. Truly, I don’t … weeks; perhaps longer. I will be watching for the true Piers.’

  ‘I won’t fail you, my love, I swear it!’ he asseverated, a little unsteadily.

  Letty, her eyes moist with tears, gave a wistful half-smile and wheeled her horse around, urging the mare to lengthen her stride into a canter.

  Sir Giles set the bell at the oak door of Frampton Manor pealing and waited impatiently for a servant to answer. He found even this slight delay irksome. Caroline’s reaction to what he had to say would be unpleasant but she deserved no consideration other than politeness; her Machiavellian endeavours should have been stopped long ago. Towards his friend, however, he did feel compunction. Gil liked
the easygoing squire and although he had never spoken to Henry about marrying his daughter, and was under no obligation to cry off formally, he thought it the honourable course. Henry, he hoped, would understand.

  Every day he delayed declaring his love was purgatory and he gritted his teeth at the thought of Charles Brook touching a hair on Alyssa’s head. When Brook returned, Gil intended to expose him for the uncaring portentous fraud he was.

  The door was finally opened by Simmons the butler, who recoiled at the frown darkening Sir Giles’s brow and his forbidding expression.

  Momentarily flustered, he said, ‘G-good morning, Sir Giles. May I help you?’

  ‘I wish to see Squire Nash and then Miss Caroline, Simmons. Pray inform them I am here.’

  The servant bowed, and said, ‘I am sorry, but the Squire, Mrs Nash and Miss Caroline are away from home, sir.’

  Gil stared in surprise. ‘Away!’ he thundered, ‘But where? I received no word of their departure.’

  ‘I believe their trip was hastily arranged. Mrs Nash’s sister in Lyme has received a new carriage from London, and Mrs Nash was desirous of inspecting it,’ he explained, with a speaking lift of one eyebrow. ‘They left yesterday.’

  Gil muttered an expletive under his breath. ‘When will they return?’

  ‘Thursday morning, sir.’

  ‘That is the day before the evening party, is it not?’

  ‘Yes, sir.’

  ‘Very well – I shall call Thursday afternoon. Please advise the squire and Miss Nash on their return.’

  Gil strode back to his curricle angrily. He vented his annoyance by springing his horses and made the journey home in record time, but on entering the hallway at Eastcombe, he found his anger had abated, but not his frustration: Alyssa was coming to dine tomorrow evening.

  ‘Gil!’ cried a voice behind him. ‘You have returned at last! Oliver and I arrived half an hour ago.’ The dark-haired lady who had spoken these words robbed them of censure with an accompanying smile very much like Gil’s own. She approached with hands outstretched and added mischievously, ‘How like you not to be here to welcome your own sister.’