Love in the Heartland

by Diana Currie

  “The what?”

  “Lostpedia. Get with the times, Nathan. It’s a website that will answer every Lost question you could possibly want answered. But just be really careful. If you look ahead in the series and read the spoiler alerts for Season 4 you’ll be kicking yourself later.”

  “I better not go then. I don’t trust myself.”

  “You’re crazy,” Maddie chuckled to herself. “So, what do you have planned for this week? Any fun movie star stuff?”

  Nathan sat up on his sofa and clicked off the television. “Yeah, actually. I’m meeting with the Universal execs Tuesday.”

  This was exactly what Maddie had been hoping to hear from Nathan tonight. “So, does that mean you decided what to do about EVOL 2?”

  “Yep. I signed their contract yesterday. It’ll be a few more weeks before the media finds out so don’t say anything to Holly yet, okay?”

  “I’ll do my best. She’s going to freak.”

  “Are you freaking out too? Your voice sounds kind of weird.”

  Maddie squealed. “Yes! Okay, I’m losing my cool just a little bit. I’m excited! How do you feel about it?”

  “Better than when we talked Thursday night. There’s this other script, the one I read today, that I was really excited about. It was a big part of my problem with doing the sequel, but those producers are willing to wait for me to finish filming EVOL so I won’t have to sacrifice that role to play Caleb again. I’m really happy that Melissa convinced them to wait for me. Actors lose roles all the time because of scheduling conflicts. Luckily, Universal is moving fast with EVOL so it’ll work out.”

  “What’s the other movie about?”

  “I’ll be playing an Iraqi soldier suffering from PTSD. I haven’t signed on officially yet but it seems like a done deal from my end.”

  “That’s awesome.”

  “I’ll be busy for a while, that’s for sure. That movie is going to start filming in May. EVOL 2, which is going to be called Tomorrow and Forever, by the way, is slotted for January through March.”

  “Tomorrow and Forever?”

  “It’s the title of the book that Abigail reads to Caleb in the first movie.”

  “Yeah, I remember! That’s a mouthful too. We’re going to have to come up with a clever nickname for it.”

  “Let me know when your fan group comes to a decision,” Nathan replied wryly.

  “Oh, I will. What will you do until January?”

  Nathan laughed. “Sit on my ass. I don’t know. This is how work goes. You’re incredibly busy for months, working twelve-hour days on set, never getting a break. Then when it’s over you’ve got absolutely nothing to do until the next project gets under way.”

  “You should go visit your parents,” Maddie suggested.

  “I will. I plan to spend the week of Thanksgiving with them in Wisconsin, and probably two weeks at Christmas.”

  “I’m happy to hear that. When was the last time you spoke to your brother?”

  “Garrett has a new girlfriend, so he’s been occupied with her. I talked to him maybe a month ago, before the Zero Gravity premiere. He’s probably still mad I didn’t invite him to it.”

  “Why didn’t you?”

  “Partly because I didn’t want to sit through the screening with him next to me. I didn’t want to watch myself in the movie at all. Garrett’s presence would have made me even more self-conscious and he likes to tease me. But mostly it’s because I would have had to invite him to the after party. You remember how I handled that… if I’d had my older brother with me it would have gone done much worse, trust me.”

  “You make it seem like Garrett’s always to blame for your getting into trouble. From what I’ve seen you’re quite capable of that all by yourself.”

  “Well, where do you think I learned it from?” he joked. “I wanted to protect him from people like Gerard. I don’t want him exposed to Hollywood’s culture. When I first moved out here Garrett would talk about joining me. He said he would find a job and we could share an apartment. I told him I didn’t want him here.”

  “I’m starting to understand his resentment.”

  “Garrett’s a follower, he always has been. Whatever stupid thing his friends in high school were doing Garrett joined right in. You know that old phase ‘if so and so jumped off a bridge would you too?’ My brother would. And did! They all jumped off the County Creek Bridge one summer and he nearly got swept away by the current.”

  “I’m sure it hurt his feelings nonetheless that you asked him to stay in Wisconsin. Does he have a job there?”

  “Garrett’s a carpenter’s apprentice. His new girlfriend is his boss’s daughter,” Nathan laughed without humor. “See? Always getting himself in trouble.”

  “His boss doesn’t know?”

  “Nope. Garrett said that his boss told him the first day on the job to keep away from his daughter. Jacqueline’s a very beautiful girl; she was Miss Wisconsin three years ago. Now she works in public relations in Madison.”

  “Wow.”

  “I know I need to patch things up with my brother. I’ll have a chance at Thanksgiving to talk to him.”

  “It’ll be good for you to go home for a while, to get some normalcy before you get so busy again,” Maddie agreed.

  Nathan sighed. “Hopefully I’ll be able to smooth things over. Otherwise it will put a damper on my plans for the summer. I want to take my family on a vacation after I’m done filming the movie about the soldier.”

  “That’s a great idea. Where will you go?”

  “I was thinking Milwaukee. It sounds kind of lame for a movie star, right? But my dad won’t fly, so that’s the issue I’m having. Milwaukee is nice in the summer. I’ll get suites at the fanciest hotel. There’s a couple beaches there on the lake and a golf course. My dad and Garrett like to golf. I can rent a yacht from the marina for a couple days and my mom would like the art museum.”

  Maddie smiled to herself as she listened to Nathan talk excitedly about a family vacation. “I’m sure they’d love it, especially if it meant spending time with you.”

  “Being separated is hard on all of us, especially my mom. I try to make up for it whenever I can.”

  “She must be excited to know you’ll be home in a few weeks. So, will you still call me while you’re in Wisconsin?” Maddie wondered.

  “Yeah, why wouldn’t I? I told my mom about you already.”

  “You did?” Maddie was genuinely surprised by this information.

  “It’s different for me; you know… the need for secrecy. There’s no risk involved in my telling my family that I’ve been talking to you. Even if the media did find out somehow that you’re my friend, they’d never find you. But if you were to tell Holly and word spread, it would be easier to track it back to you.”

  “I know. That’s why as much as it kills me I haven’t told her anything about you. My parents know I’ve been talking to a friend in California but I didn’t elaborate. Kyle knows, of course. But that’s it.”

  “Thank you. I’ve told you a lot about me that’s very personal. Not much of it is flattering.”

  “I would never betray your trust, Nathan,” Maddie said sincerely. “So, what did you tell Nancy about me?”

  “I told her that you wrote me an interesting letter and that I called to talk to you one evening. I left out the parts about my drinking and how you saved me from the little white pill. She would have had a stroke. I did tell her how you’ve helped me deal with the loneliness and that we’ve become friends.”

  “Anything else?”

  “I said that you’re sweet, kind, funny, and beautiful.“Maddie choked on his words. Beautiful?

  “What? You don’t believe it?” Nathan asked responding to her silence. “You are beautiful. You have the face of an angel.”

  “No one’s ever described me that way before. And you only have two pictures to judge from. You can’t make a claim like that without ever seeing me in person.” Maddie scoffed, biting her
lip. She worried that her words might provoke Nathan to suggest they remedy that situation. She didn’t want to encourage those kinds of thoughts.

  Nathan laughed under his breath because he found what she said quite ironic. “You’ve never seen me in person either. How do you know I’m not hideously unattractive beneath all the camera makeup and airbrushing?”

  “Just a hunch,” she teased. “Thousands of screaming fans have confirmed your godly magnificence. I trust their judgement.”

  Nathan rolled his eyes as he walked out to the back yard to lie in a lounge chair. “I’ll never understand the excitement I invoke from you women.”

  The way Nathan said you women told Maddie he was referring to his fan base. “I’ve been wondering something; does that bother you? That until a month ago I was just like all the rest of them? I’m supposed to be your friend and I’m still, you know, a fan. A fan that’s attracted to you the same way they are.”

  “Maddie, first, I like that you aren’t afraid to admit that. And second, I’m used to it. I’m not trying to sound egotistical; it’s just something I’m used to dealing with from women.”

  “So, you’re aware you’re good looking?” she asked dryly.

  “Yup. Pretty much been used to female attention since I was about twelve.”

  “Okay, so it doesn’t make things weird between us? What about the theory that men and women can’t really be friends?”

  “You’re going Harry Met Sally on me?” he joked. “I suppose sex can sometimes get in the way, but for us it’s a nonstarter. There’s a thousand miles between us so sex can’t get in the way of our friendship despite our mutual attractions for one another.”

  “M-mutual?” Maddie choked.

  Nathan smiled to himself, amused by the surprise in her voice. “I’ve already told you that you’re a beautiful girl. Does it bother you to have a friend who finds you attractive?”

  “It’s never happened before.”

  “I sincerely doubt that. I don’t think you see yourself very clearly, sweet Maddie.”

  Maddie frowned. She still didn’t believe Nathan could make such a determination from the photos she’d sent him. “I haven’t had a lot of boyfriends,” she admitted. “I’m a few years older than the guys in my classes. College boys are immature.”

  “I suppose that sort of answers one of the more probing questions I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

  “What question?”

  “When I was describing you to my mother she asked if you had a boyfriend and I know you told me you didn’t, but I was wondering why that was?”

  Maddie thought it was glaringly obvious why she was single. This new friendship with Nathan would take some getting used to. They were two friends who essentially lived in each other’s phones. He would never be able to know her the way Kyle or Holly did. Kyle could always tell by her expression whether or not she was lying. Holly knew the many ways to make Maddie blush. She realized she could turn red as a tomato and Nathan would never see it, a definite plus to a phone friendship.

  “So? What say you?” he pressed.

  “Why am I single? Like I said, college boys are idiots. I’m busy with school and my family and just don’t need it. I’ve never even been in love. Have you?”

  “Yes, I have.”

  Now Maddie worried if it was possible Nathan was currently dating someone. She hadn’t seen him in the news with any women recently, but that meant very little. Maybe it was casual or they’d somehow eluded the press. He certainly hadn’t mentioned anyone to her. Surely if Nathan was close to someone he would have poured his heart out to her these past few weeks instead of Maddie.

  “You’re seeing someone then? In L.A. I mean?”

  Nathan stretched out on the lounger and stared at the sun as it began to sink over the Hollywood Hills. “Nope. Dating is impossible right now. Every time I meet my agent for dinner, walk on the street with my health trainer, or buy groceries with Lupe their picture ends up in the pages of some magazine that claims we’re dating. It’s absurd.”

  “So, when were you in love then?”

  Nathan sighed; feeling completely relaxed talking about himself with Maddie. “High school. We broke up after graduation. She went to college in Ohio. I was gearing up to move to Hollywood. We wanted different lives.”

  “You sound like there are still feelings there,” Maddie noticed. She twirled her finger around a strand of hair idly.

  “Not really. I haven’t talked to her in years. It’s more like I miss the feeling of being in a relationship. I’ve gone out with a lot of women here, I won’t lie,” Nathan chuckled awkwardly. “But there’s been no one serious.”

  “So, the rumor about you and that girl from your first movie? Stacey, I think her name was…”

  “We were just friends. I never even kissed her. Well, other than during the filming of the movie. We were friends until Love Spelled Backwards came out and my life got crazy. Stacey got weird about the fame. It was like she wanted to hang out with me more and always suggested public places where I knew the paparazzi would find us. I think she figured I was her ticket to advancing her career.”

  “That’s awful.”

  “It happens a lot. I’d just rather be alone than get used like that, you know?”

  No, Maddie did not know anything about the difficulties Nathan spoke of, but hearing him describe it gave her more precious insight into his lonely lifestyle.

  “I’ve about given up on the whole institution. Kyle thinks there’s something wrong with my brain because no guy’s ever held my attention for long. I dated one boy in high school and there was another in college. But then my dad got sick and that ended. Since then I’ve just preferred to spend my free time with my family. It’s not normal, I know that. Holly goes on dates all the time. Sometimes I go to clubs with her but I haven’t been able to find a man who appeals to me.”

  “Other than me,” Nathan joked trying to break the tension looming behind Maddie’s confession.

  She laughed nervously and then abruptly changed the topic of conversation. She didn’t want to talk any more about her crush on Nathan. “So, are you going out for Halloween?”

  “No. There’s a few parties going on but I will be sequestering myself to stay out of trouble per your request.”

  Maddie pouted as she trekked up the stairs to her bedroom. “Now I feel bad for coming down so hard on you. You’ll be home alone?”

  “I do live alone so it happens often,” he sighed. “But Lupe will be here. I’m going to help her make her mama’s Paella recipe while her four kids trick-or-treat in my neighborhood. You can score some major candy in these gated communities.”

  “You have plans to hang out with your housekeeper? That’s too cute, Nathan.”

  Nathan smirked. “Yeah, Lupe’s awesome. She’s like a surrogate mother; makes me dinner, cleans the house, does my laundry.”

  “Spoiled brat,” Maddie teased.

  Her words made Nathan laugh. He couldn’t deny that she was right in her assessment. “What about you? Are you going out with Holly?”

  “No way. Holly is going to a costume party on campus; it’s like an ice breaker kind of social event. Everyone is supposed to dress up as one half of a couple’s costume, like Juliet, Cinderella, or Cher. And then when you find your mate at the party the couples are supposed to have their picture taken, dance together, and get to know one another.”

  “That sounds like fun,” Nathan hedged knowing it would get Maddie riled up if he sided against her.

  “Fun? Urgh! It’s going to be a room full of blind dates! No thank you.”

  Nathan laughed. He was beginning to see why Maddie was still single. Oddly enough, the thought comforted him but he pushed it to the back of his mind to contemplate at a later time. “So, what are you going to do instead?”

  “I’ll be taking Addison and Rebecca trick-or-treating. It’ll be their first time since they couldn’t even walk last year. I’m excited.”

  “I’m s
ure you’ll have fun with them. I bet there would still be time to go out with Holly afterwards though. When do the babies go to bed, like eight o’clock?”

  “Why do you want me to go to that stupid campus party? Do you really think my soul mate is going to be dressed like Sonny Bono?” Maddie asked rolling her eyes.

  The sun had set so Nathan wandered back into his house. He’d left only a few lights on inside and the large dark rooms felt ominous. He headed for the stairs. “Don’t go as Cher, that’s lame. You could dress up as Lucille Ball and find yourself a Latin lover,” Nathan joked. He was having fun with her now. “Or Priscilla Presley? Olivia Newton-John? Miss Piggy? I know, you could go as Abigail. Maybe you’ll find your own Caleb Thomas there.”

  Maddie bit her bottom lip, struggling not to speak the words on the tip of her tongue. Her eyes involuntarily shifted left towards the Love Spelled Backwards poster on her bedroom wall. She was thinking the words so loudly in her brain she didn’t have the strength to keep them inside.

  “I’ve already found someone who topsCaleb, but he’ll be in California that night making Paella.”

  Nathan stumbled up the last two steps, surprised by Maddie’s insinuation. He wanted to tell her that he would catch the next flight to Texas and escort her to that party himself. But that was impossible for many reasons. Nathan could not just show up on a college campus without alerting campus security or hiring a bodyguard. Surrounded by dozens of 18-25 yearold women… there would be a stampede once he was recognized. And also, the last thing he wanted to do was lead Maddie on. He’d made a conscious effort not to flirt too much with her but it was in his nature, and Maddie was so much fun to joke around with.

  Maybe he’d taken it too far, telling her she was beautiful even though it was the truth. His life was too tumultuous to drag her into it. She had school, a job, and her family in Texas. He was determined to do nothing that would disrupt her life, and that included him taking a single step inside Amarillo city limits. He had to protect her from his hazardous lifestyle no matter what.

  “He sounds like a lucky guy to have your affections,” Nathan finally whispered. “I should let you go, it’s getting late.”