by Diana Currie
Nathan kept his routine of calling Maddie on Sundays alive just as he’d promised. They never missed a week, even the times he was home in Wisconsin. They also found a few opportunities to play Xbox Live. Maddie was not exactly fond of the first person shooting games and shrieked quite often when she got shot. Nathan found that so amusing that a few times he unleashed a little friendly fire on her avatar.
“You are such a jerk, Nathan!” she whined into her headset one night after Nathan took her out on purpose. “I hate it when my screen gets covered in blood! It’s so gross.”
Nathan just laughed and it made her angry. She was only indulging him in this time-sucking hobby because he seemed to enjoy it so much. Also, because she refused to pass up any opportunity to talk to him more than their weekly scheduled call. Maddie was officially, one hundred percent addicted to Nathan Foster. The sound of his laughter dulled her anger and she hit the start button so they could play another round.
“Hungry for more, Angel?” Nathan teased when he noticed she had restarted their game.
“Who are you talking to?” Garrett asked, materializing behind his little brother at the door to the family room.
Nathan turned off his microphone momentarily to say, “just a friend. We were in the middle of a game, Garr. What do you want?”
“I heard you talking to yourself in here so I came to investigate. Do you call all your friends Angel?” Garrett chuckled. He walked further into the room and sat on the opposite end of the old sofa. Garrett noticed the strange expression on Nathan’s face and shrugged. “What? Can’t I play too? I kill at this game.”
“Pun intended?” they heard Maddie say through her headset.
Garrett smiled and helped himself to a controller and headset. “Hello, Angel. This is Garrett online. AKA the Pulverizer. Who may I ask am I speaking to?” He tilted his head in Nathan’s direction, his black curls falling over his forehead, and winked.
“Hi, Garrett, this is Maddie. Are you going to play with us?”
Nathan rolled his eyes and his older brother chose to take that as an invitation to join their game. “I most certainly am.”
“Excellent.”
Nathan sighed under his breath, not happy about having to share his time with Maddie with his older brother. But he was striving to make amends with Garrett so he reluctantly began setting up the game play for a third participant.
“So, Maddie, that’s a pretty name. Are you an actress? Would I have seen you in anything?” Garrett asked conversationally. Nathan thought he sounded a little too flirtatious for a man with a girlfriend.
“No! I’m not an actress. Just a friend of Nathan’s. Hey Nathan?”
“I’m here, Maddie. Are you sure you want Garrett playing with us?”
“I surely do. Can you put Garrett on my team? I need the backup.”
Maddie heard Garrett laugh in the background behind Nathan’s grumbling. “Garrett, can you do me a favor and protect me from your idiot brother? He keeps firing at me just so I’ll scream.”
“You can count on me, Miss Maddie. So, if you’re not an actress where did you meet Squirt?”
Nathan reached across the sofa and smacked Garrett hard on the bicep. He hated that nickname and Garrett knew it. It had the desired effect, though, as Maddie laughed out loud. “Why do you call him Squirt?”
“I hate you,” Nathan mouthed to his brother. This was exactly the kind of behavior that prompted him to ban his older brother from all of Los Angeles.
Garrett grinned and pushed the button on the side of the sofa to release the footrest. “He didn’t hit puberty until fourteen. He was the shortest guy in his class until junior year and got cut from the soccer team and baseball team every year.”
Garrett and Maddie laughed together at Nathan’s expense. “That’s not even true. Don’t listen to him, Maddie. I made the baseball team junior year.”
“Oh, that’s right. And you were in the school play too. They made you audition for the girl’s parts, didn’t they Squirt?”
“Quit making stuff up, fucktard!”
“Nathan!”
“Sorry, Maddie,” he said quietly; still angry at Garrett for intentionally trying to tick him off.
“It’s okay. We shouldn’t be laughing at you. Let’s just play okay?”
“Fine.”
“Good. But no one shoot me!”
“Okay. I’ll play nice. This time,” Nathan replied.
Garrett chuckled under his breath. This young woman seemed to have his little brother wrapped around her finger. “So, you never answered my question, Maddie. Where did you meet, Nathan?” he asked putting emphasis on his use of Nathan’s name.
“Um…”
“It’s none of your business,” Nathan answered quickly.
“Are you two dating?”
“I live in Texas,” Maddie replied carefully avoiding the question Garrett asked.
Garrett stared at his brother’s blank face for a moment before turning his attention to the flat screen on the wall. “Okay, then… Let’s kill some zombies, shall we?”
Nathan murmured “thank God” and began the mission.
Garrett thought it was highly suspicious that neither one of them would give him a straight answer. But he kept his mouth shut and played the game. Maddie was terrible at video games and she was dragging his mission down but he didn’t complain. He knew how much button pushing Nathan could tolerate and he figured it might not be wise to tease his mystery girl. As they played, Garrett watched his brother interact with Maddie. Nathan seemed carefree and happy once he got over the embarrassment of his childhood nickname being revealed. They seemed very close for two people who lived so far apart, which Garrett found especially curious since he didn’t know how long Nathan had had this female friend that he knew nothing about. Where did they possibly meet? He was fairly certain there were no girls named Maddie in Nathan’s graduating class. What was she doing down in Texas anyway? So many unanswered questions.
“Ah! Darn it!” Maddie exclaimed after getting killed for the fourth time in about twenty minutes. “I am so done. Can we please just watch Lost now?”
Nathan laughed. “I thought you wanted me to get caught up on The Walking Dead?”
“Urgh. I’ve had enough zombies for a while. I vote for the smoke monster tonight.”
“What are you guys talking about?” Garrett asked, tossing his controller onto the coffee table.
“Tell me Garrett, have you watched Lost and Walking Dead or are you as socially deprived as your brother?” Maddie asked.
“Oh, so you’re on a mission to get Nathan caught up, huh? I’ve seen them both; but Nathan missed out on most TV shows when we were in high school. He was either doing homework or playing his piano.”
“You say it like those activities were a waste of time,” Nathan quipped. “I did homework at night because I was at school in the afternoons with the drama club and the baseball team.”
Garrett snickered. “Yeah, warming the bench!”
“Boys…” Maddie scolded them.
She had been happy when Garrett asked to join their game, wanting Nathan to take the opportunity to bond a little with his brother but they were both relatively quiet as they played. Now they were on the verge of another argument. She knew Nathan missed the close relationship they had before he became famous and it was one of her goals to get them on good terms again. She just didn’t have a clue how to do it.
“It’s okay, Maddie. I should really go anyway. I want to spend a little time with my mom and dad tonight before they go to bed. I fly back to L.A. tomorrow,” Nathan explained.
“Oh, okay. Enjoy your time with them. And hey, text me when you land at LAX so I know you got there safe.”
“You know I will. Good night, Maddie.”
“Night night, slugger.”
Nathan took off his headset and pressed the power button on the Xbox console. When he glanced up he saw Garrett was watching him intently. “What?” he asked flippant
ly.
Garrett knew that this would be his last chance to talk to Nathan before he left for California and there was no telling how long it would be before they were in the same place at the same time again. They both had spent the past week making strides towards a reconciliation of sorts, but it was difficult for Garrett to admit any amount of jealously for the amazing life Nathan had created for himself. Garrett worked his ass off for twenty-five dollars an hour and went home sweaty, dirty, and his muscles aching every day. He was envious of Nathan’s exciting career, the stardom, and his money, but was trying very hard to put all that past him, so when he looked at Nathan he could just see his little brother again.
“I’m sorry I teased you in front of your girl,” he offered.
Nathan sighed and leaned back against the sofa. “She’s not my girl, just a friend.”
They were both silent for a minute, the humming of the television screen the only noise in the room. Nathan also understood that this was their last conversation before he left. His flight jetted off first thing the next morning, likely long before Garrett would wake up. He wished he knew what could be said to fix things with his brother. They had made some progress over the holidays but something still felt off between them.
“Why aren’t you dating her? She sounded hot.”
“Madeline’s beautiful,” Nathan agreed. “She’s got dark hair, dark brown eyes, and she has this innocence about her that is just so fucking adorable.”
“So, what’s the problem? I mean, yeah, she lives in Texas but you can afford to fly her out to L.A. every weekend if you wanted to.”
“It’s not that simple, Garr. My life is so public that I have no privacy whatsoever. And with this new movie it will get worse before it gets better. I couldn’t take Maddie out on a date or to the movies like a normal person. If the paparazzi found out who she was, and they undoubtedly would sooner or later, she wouldn’t be able to live a normal life anymore. I can’t do that to her and her family.”
“But you really like her,” Garrett stated.
Nathan nodded. “More and more the longer we talk.” He pulled out his cell phone to show Garrett a picture of Maddie, the one of her in the Tweety Bird tank top. Garrett leaned closer and took a look at Nathan’s phone, then whistled long and high pitched in appreciation.
“Yep, she’s hot, little bro. I say go for it, even if the pap do follow you guys around. What does she think about it? Maybe she would be willing to deal with all that,” Garrett said.
Nathan huffed. “I asked to go visit her while I’m down filming in her area and she said no. She says she just wants to be friends, even though we both know that’s not the truth, she says it’s better if we remain friends. I have to respect her wishes.”
Nathan looked at his brother and saw a hint of sympathy in his eyes. “You have no idea how much I’m tortured by this. I trust Maddie completely, and it’s hard trusting people in L.A. That’s the only thing I like about her living in Texas. She hasn’t been corrupted by the Los Angeles culture. I know you hate hearing me complain about Hollywood, but it’s not all fun and parties for me. There’s a lot of loneliness too. I can’t trust people because some try to use me for my fame and others do it for my money. Every time I meet a girl I have to worry about her motives and if she can really even see me as a real person and not just a movie star. I can’t leave the house without being hounded by paparazzi. Most of the time, if I’m not working, I just stay in that big house all by myself and do nothing. It’s very isolating.”
“What about your friends? Like that Gerard guy, or the people you introduced me to that one time I was allowed to visit,” Garrett said sarcastically.
“I try not to talk to them anymore. They’re not good for me. I was in a bad place a few months ago; really depressed and feeling sorry for myself. Bad things were bound to happen, going out and partying the way I was doing.”
“What kind of things?” Garrett asked more seriously.
“I’d get carried away when I was out with those guys, Gerard especially. I’d get drunk and disorderly in front of the cameras. I got in a bar fight. And then Gerard… well, he offered me something that wasn’t exactly legal.”
“Oh?”
“Thankfully Maddie was there. Well, not physically there, but she talked me off the cliff, so to speak. I’ve been meaning to tell you that I’m sorry I haven’t asked you come back to visit me, bro. Really. But I wanted to keep you away from them. It wasn’t just about you being an embarrassment,” Nathan said with a teasing tone.
Garrett faked a shocked expression. “Who, me? What did I do?”
“When we went out to that club you told every actress there, including Katie Owens, that your shoe size was bigger than mine and you’d be happy to show them what else was bigger.”
Garrett laughed, remembering. “Come on, dude. Lighten up. Katie knew I was joking.”
“Still, you were hitting on her when she had a boyfriend.”
“Had?”
“Yeah, they broke up a few months ago.”
“Oh, gotcha. So, you’re gonna start hooking up with her when the movie starts filming?”
“No!”
“Why not?”
The only answer Nathan could think of was Maddie. There had been a time not so long ago when he would have thoroughly considered that option. “Because we have a professional relationship. I don’t think it’s a good idea to get involved with costars.”
“I think your problem is you need a girl, little brother, be it Katie, Maddie, or someone else. You need a trustworthy companion. Hey, maybe you should invite me back for a while. Jackie would love to be in California. And then you and I could be like River and Joaquin Phoenix!”
“River Phoenix died of a drug overdose, Garr.”
“Okay, it would be a little different than that. It would still be fun to be together.”
Nathan smiled. “What would you do out there, construction work?”
“Well, I’m definitely not an actor. Hey, maybe I could be your bodyguard?”
“No. You’re built for it, but I couldn’t ask you to protect me like that. I’d be worried about you getting hurt.”
“Hurt by who? Your crazy little female fans?” Garrett scoffed.
“Don’t underestimate them, dude. The littlest ones are sometimes the most dangerous. And speaking of fans… I never told you where Maddie and I met.”
Garrett’s eyes widened, waiting for Nathan’s enlightenment. Nathan smiled wide, enjoying the suspense a little too much. “She wrote me a letter. She’s a big fan.”
“Shut the fuck up!” Garrett replied.
Nathan shook his head. “I’m serious. She wrote me a letter, and basically chewed me out for all the partying I was doing. I was so taken aback by her brashness I saved the letter. Then the next day I sort of hit rock bottom… I had to decide whether I was willing to slip into the darkness or try to find my way back to the light. And there was Maddie’s letter, written on blindingly bright yellow stationary, guiding me like my own personal sun. Her phone number was on the letter, so instead of taking the pill Gerard gave me I called Maddie.”
“You almost started taking drugs?”
“One pill, one time,” Nathan corrected. “But yes.”
“And Maddie stopped you? Over the phone?”
“Yes.”
“Damn. What was it like when you met her? Did she go crazy fangirl on you? It must be awesome to fuck someone who’s that obsessed with you. I bet she let you do some crazy shit, right?”
Nathan suddenly became a little defensive. He wanted to share his story with Garrett but didn’t appreciate the way he was speaking about Maddie. She deserved far more respect than that. “I didn’t fuck her, and don’t talk about her like that! She hasn’t gone crazy on me at all, but I am a little worried that she still might… whenever it is that we actually meet.”
“Say that again?”
Nathan rolled his eyes. “You heard me, dip shit. Maddie and I have never
actually met. I told you I offered to go to Texas and she told me not to come.”
“So how do you know you like her so much?”
“Because we’ve spent hours talking to one another on the phone for the past three months.”
“How do you know that picture is even her?”
Nathan rolled his eyes and then thought for a second. “I just know, Garr.”
“You need to fight for her. If you feel so strongly about her, then you need to prove it to her. I can see she means a lot to you. If she makes you happy then you have to try harder to make it work.”
“She doesn’t want to try. Even though I think she has feelings for me, she likes her life in Texas too. She’s a sweet girl; she doesn’t belong in L.A. and I can’t live anywhere else right now. So, she’s right that we’re better off friends.”
Garrett stared at his younger sibling wondering how anyone so attractive to the opposite sex could be so self-conscious. “Nathan, that girl is nuts about you. She played video games, fighting off a zombie invasion just to spend time with you. You have adorably sickening nicknames for each other. She’s worried about you flying across the country. And she’s a fan so she’s obviously attracted to you. Trust me; she wants you as much as you want her.”
“Do you think I should ask to visit her again when I’m filming Tomorrow and Forever in Louisiana in February?”
“Hell yes. And if she says no, just show up there anyway.”
Nathan grimaced. “Should I really be taking advice from a guy who’s sneaking around with his boss’ daughter?”
“I haven’t gotten caught yet,” Garrett said smirking.
The brothers sat on the sofa together talking for a while longer. Just when Nathan was going to call it a night his cell phone buzzed with a text message.
