Mattie

by Jeanie P Johnson

  “Whatever you think will work. Just let me know if you want me to touch you too,” he agreed.

  Mattie reached out her hand and placed it lightly on Matthew’s shoulder. He could feel it shaking slightly.

  “Are you shaking cause you are cold or scared?” he asked.

  “Both,” she admitted.

  “I could hold you and warm you up,” he suggested.

  “Maybe,” she said as she put her other hand on his other shoulder, but she did not look at him. She was looking out past his shoulder. She took in her breath.

  “Dusty is standing there,” she said so softly, he could barely hear her.

  “What?” he asked, not moving.

  “He’s standing there looking at us and smiling,” she informed him. “He wants this Matthew. I think he wants this.”

  “I sure as hell want it,” Matthew whispered, “but I don’t want to spook you none.”

  Mattie tightened her hold as she put her hands around Matthew’s neck. “He wants me to kiss you, Matthew.”

  Matthew felt Mattie shiver against him and he couldn’t help himself. He put his arms around her and pulled her against him. The soft coolness of her body actually warmed him and he could barely contain the feeling of joy that was starting to surge through his body. Mattie pulled his head down to hers capturing his lips beneath her lips, pushing her tongue against his lips, invading the warm interior of his mouth. She pulled his breath into her own mouth as she pushed herself against him closer. Then she slowly pulled away.

  “Did it frighten you, Mattie,” he asked in a husky voice.

  She looked over his shoulder.

  “He’s leaving, Matthew,” she breathed, “he said you could take care of me now. He’s been watching over me. You know that Matthew? Dusty was watching over me and I just now realized it. He wants you to watch over me now cause he says he can’t stay any longer.”

  Mattie was shaking as she hugged against Matthew’s chest and Matthew could feel the spirit of Dusty there. He had heard his voice too when Mattie had invited him in the water with her. He had been watching over both of them, Matthew thought.

  “What now, sweetheart?” he asked.

  “You know something?” she said. “I plumb forgot. Today is my birthday.”

  Matthew didn’t move.

  “It is?” he swallowed hard. “You sure you forgot?”

  “I think you can touch me now,” she whispered.

  “I am touching you,” he said and she suddenly realized that his hardness was pressing tightly against her.

  “It’s probably warmer on the bank,” she suggested.

  “Then I guess we could go there,” he agreed.

  “Don’t let go of me Matthew,” she said and he kept his arms around her as they walked up out of the river.

  “I’m gonna let you decide, Mattie,” he told her, “unless you tell me I can take the lead.”

  “I think you probably know what you’re doing,” Mattie pointed out. “Only I just got to tell you one thing,”

  “What?”

  “I want it to mean something, Matthew. I know how it feels when you do it with someone you have deep feelings for, so I want it to mean something and I will know if it does.”

  Matthew was almost afraid to touch her. Almost afraid to break the spell, but then he felt Dusty prodding him on. ‘let her know you love her, Matthew’ he heard Dusty whispering in his ear.

  “Mattie, you do mean something to me. You mean more than something to me. Everything I do for you means something too. I had deep feelings for you the moment I saw you. Even when I thought you were a boy, but Dusty knew what you wanted from a man, and I didn’t. I know now, though, sweetcakes. I know now.”

  He lowered his head and began licking the drops of water from off of her body.

  “You are the most beautiful thing I have ever been this close to,” he breathed. “I could never get enough of looking at you, Mattie.”

  Matthew’s tongue created hot trails over her body, bringing her breasts to attention and causing the rest of her to shiver in anticipation.

  “You taste better than Sunday dinner,” Matthew breathed and then Mattie felt his mouth warming one breast, and then the other, letting his tongue trace over her, turning it soft and pliable in his mouth.

  Mattie felt more than just Matthew touching her with his mouth. She felt something growing inside of her. Not desire, or sexual anticipation, but something different than that. It was a warmth that flooded through her. A feeling of pure contentment to be there with Matthew caressing her. She did not shirk from his touch because it reminded her of Dusty touching her. His touch was nothing like Dusty’s touch. There was something subtly different about it. It was as though he was drawing her out of her body to embrace him on a whole other level where she had never been before and she wanted the feeling to last a lifetime. She wanted to know that every day of her life, she would be able to feel Matthew touching her the way he was doing now.

  “You can have all of me,” she whispered. “Dusty told me what to expect, so don’t be afraid of hurting me,”

  “Not until I have touched all of you,” he told her, and his mouth washed down over her stomach, licking against her navel, nibbling over her hips, caressing her thighs. And then she felt his mouth pressing against the center of her being, causing her whole body to tremble beyond control.

  Mattie never thought to compare it with Dusty’s touch because this was something she had not experienced with Dusty. The kind of deep feelings she had with Dusty were totally different to the feelings that Matthew was pulling from her and maybe it was Dusty too. Maybe Dusty was there encouraging Matthew, showing him what would bring Mattie’s love bubbling to the surface, so she would always thank Dusty for allowing her to spend the last few days of his life with him, and look forward to spending the rest of the days of her life with Matthew.

  Dusty had taught her that life was fragile. You never knew when it would be taken from you, and to hold Matthew away from her, would have been a tragedy if anything happened to him as well. She would never have forgiven herself if that ever happened.

  Matthew felt Mattie shudder, and whimper in pleasure and his mouth found hers again, as he brought himself up until he was pressed against her warm moisture. He started to press into her slowly.

  Mattie pulled her mouth from his.

  “Wait,” she said.

  “Am I hurting you? Have you changed your mind?” Matthew asked in a slight panic.

  “I forgot something,” she whispered. “I forgot to tell you something.”

  “What? Is something wrong? Is it really not your birthday?”

  “No, it really is my birthday. Only I want to tell you something before you make love to me.”

  “Tell me, then Mattie,” Matthew sighed.

  “I love you, Matthew Douglas. I love you in a way I didn’t love Dusty. And I loved Dusty in a way I didn’t love you. Between the two of you, though, I think I’m starting to find out what love really is. I don’t want you to make love to me until you know I will be loving you back for real.”

  “Mattie, Mattie,” he buried his face against her breasts.

  “You don’t know how happy you have made me by saying that.”

  “I just want you to love me, Matthew, and never stop doing it. Never leave me the way Dusty did. Keep me safe and keep yourself safe too. I couldn’t bear to lose you too.”

  “You won’t lose me, Mattie. I love you more than you can imagine. I was just too stupid to know what you really wanted. If I ever step out of line, Mattie, you let me know.”

  “Are you going to do it, Matthew? I’m all naked here waiting for you to…”

  “You little imp,” Matthew laughed, as he smothered her with a kiss.

  Then his hand found her, stroking her, preparing her for him to enter, and she reached her hand down to him, impatiently guiding him into her. Then he was gently pushing for room. She rose to meet him, as love spilled out over her entire being, sp
reading around her like a soft blanket and she could hear Dusty laughing softly in the distance, saying “Darlin’, you’re just full of sweet surprises,”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  “There they are,” Matthew almost whispered as the five of them sat gazing at the herd off in the distance. “We need to skirt way around them and then come down on either side of them, to keep them going in the direction we want. Mattie, you will go with me, Buck will take the center and McCloud and Clyde will take the off side.”

  They all followed Matthew as he headed his horse out away from the herd at a good distance. Once they had circled the back side of the herd, they started working them back in the other direction. Mattie could see there were several foals.

  “Don’t push them too hard,” Mattie said. “We don’t want the foals falling behind.”

  “You’re right, we’ll work them nice and easy, but if they start to take off, we need to keep up with them.”

  They rode the herd straight through both day and night. Matthew had timed the roundup on a full moon so they could see what they were doing, and by the time they got close to the Double D, both the herd and their own horses were tired and had slowed their pace. The heard seemed to know by instinct that there was no escaping and appeared to be accepting the inevitable as Buck rode ahead and opened the back gate for them to enter the ranch property.

  “Okay, we’re going to leave them here for now. They can’t go anywhere, and then later, we will bring them up to the corals and separate them out. Mares and foals, horses we want to keep and break and then the rest we will find homes for.”

  There were about fifty horses in all. Some of them managed to escape but they got the bulk of the herd, minus the leading Stallion. Matthew said he wouldn’t capture the Stallion. It went against his principles, he insisted.

  By the time they dragged up to the ranch, the boys went to the bunkhouse and collapsed on their bunks without even removing their clothes. Matthew put his arm around Mattie as he ushered her into the house. Daniel had greeted them on the porch, and when he saw the way Mattie and Matthew were looking at each other, he realized that Matthew hadn’t listened to his advice to stay at arm’s length. However, he could also tell that Mattie hadn’t been upset about it. He watched the two climbing the stairs together, with a smile stretching across his face.

  “I’m plumb beat,” Matthew said, “but I would be up for a bath if you want to join me,” he whispered in Mattie’s ear when they reached the top of the stairs.

  “You gonna wash my hair?” she asked.

  “I’m gonna wash more than just your hair,” Matthew smiled and then turned and planted a long kiss on her mouth. “I plan to pick up where we left off, down by that river, and then some,” he promised.

  Mattie followed him into the bathroom, while he was already pulling away her clothes. He started the water in the big claw foot tub and poured in bubble-bath, as he grinned at her.

  “We are going to be smelling pretty good by the time this bath is over,” he informed her, with a wink. Then he began getting undressed, as he watched her step into the water.

  “Seems to me, the best times I’ve seen you, is when you are covered with water,” Matthew informed her and then he stepped in with her and soon had her in his arms, caressing her body with his hands.

  The week was spent with taking care of the Mustangs, finding people who were willing to haul away the extra horses the Double D was not going to work with, and by the weekend, the whole crew was eager to get away from the ranch for awhile.

  “We’re all going in to do Karaoke, Mattie said to Daniel. Why don’t you come along? The boys aren’t the only ones that should be blowing off steam in town.”

  “You don’t mind me tagging along?” he asked. “I thought you young people would rather be on your own.”

  “We’re all family, aren’t we?” she pointed out. “Besides I heard you singing those cowboy songs when McCloud was playing the piano the other night. You have a voice as good as your son’s. No use letting it go to waste.”

  “Well, if you really want me to come…”

  “Of course we do,” Matthew put in, as he came into the room.

  Daniel had not talked to Matthew about Mattie or what had happened out on the roundup. He was just taking things in his stride, but as he looked from one to the other, he realized he had been thinking of Mattie as his daughter. The daughter he had never had, and it looked like she was going to end up being that in the end. At least he hoped so. He smiled at the two.

  “I would really like that,” he said putting his arms around each of them as they walked out the front door.

  When they got to the bar and climbed out of the truck, Matthew suddenly stopped as he opened the door for Mattie.

  “You can’t come in,” he said. “You are under-aged, and can’t go into a bar.”

  It hadn’t dawned on him until that moment. Mattie’s face fell. She had been looking forward to singing with the gang.

  “Is that the only place where they do Karaoke?” she asked.

  “In this little town, it is,” he informed her.

  The others had come up to the truck.

  “What’s taking you so long?” Buck was insisting.

  “Mattie can’t go into the bar. She’s too young.”

  “Damn,” McCloud, commented.

  “Guess I will just take her out to eat and then we will be heading back to the ranch,” Matthew decided.

  Daniel gave them a sad look. He too had looked forward to their night together.

  “Guess we will see you later, then,” Daniel shrugged. “I was looking forward to you showing the crowd how well you could sing,” Daniel told Mattie.

  “It’s okay,” she gave a half smile, “I guess it will have to wait a few years.”

  Matthew closed the door of the truck and came around on the other side.

  “Well, at least we can get a bite to eat and go home and sing at the piano.”

  He kissed her on the cheek, but he could see the disappointment in her eyes.

  An hour later, they pulled up into the yard.

  “What are all those vehicles doing here?” Matthew wanted to know.

  He saw that his father’s truck and the boy’s trucks were there as well. When he opened the door to get out, music was drifting from the house and he and Mattie looked at each other. They opened the front door and the music blared even louder. Daniel turned and saw them coming into the room that was full of people and a karaoke machine where McCloud was doing his thing on the mike.

  “Figured if Mattie couldn’t go to the bar, I would bring the bar to her,” Daniel smiled. “I told the gang about how much she wanted to do this and we decided to bring the machine and everyone else out to our place. Come on, Mattie. We’ve been waiting for you to get here so you could sing.”

  Mattie threw her arms around Daniel’s neck and kissed him on the cheek.

  “I love you, Daniel, you know that, don’t you?”

  Daniel sort of looked down and then back up into Mattie’s eyes.

  “I’d do anything for you, Mattie. You’re like the daughter I never had, and I hope you become a permanent part of the family, real soon.”

  “He hasn’t asked me yet,” she whispered in Daniel’s ear, “unless you count the time he told me he didn’t want anyone looking at the woman he was going to marry, while she was in the shower.”

  “I think he is afraid of scaring you away again, if he moves too fast,” Daniel shrugged.

  Matthew had already gone into the room and was talking to the people who had gathered there, and he looked over his shoulder.

  “Are you two just going to gab all night, or you coming in here?” he called to them.

  “Yeah, Mattie,” McCloud called. “We all had our turn, we’re waiting for you.”

  Mattie came into the room and McCloud handed her the mike. She told him to put on an old Patsy Cline song, ‘I fall to pieces’. The room was silent as she sang the song.

/>   Then she did a couple of the newer Country songs, then said “This one’s for Dusty,” and she began singing, ‘To Make you feel my Love’.

  Later, she and McCloud played the piano, first the crazy duets they had played at Dusty’s and then each played a few of their favorite pieces. No one seemed to want to leave and it was two in the morning before the crowd started to thin.

  “This has been one of the best nights of my life,” Mattie said to Daniel. “Thank you so much for doing this for me.”

  “Matthew told me that your birthday came and went and you never told any of us, so consider this a late birthday present,” he told her, as he gave her a hug.

  When they waved goodbye to the last person and all the boys took to the bunkhouse, Matthew pulled Mattie into his arms.

  “You did great, tonight,” he told her. “Everyone loved you and we could barely push them out the door.”

  “I’ve never had anyone treat me the way you and your dad does,” Mattie said truthfully. “You make me feel like I belong.”

  “You do belong, Mattie. I’m never going to let you out of my arms. This is your home.”

  “But you haven’t asked me,” she said quietly, not meeting his eyes.

  “Don’t you know that every time I touch you, I’ve been asking you?” Matthew said. “I’m just afraid to say the words in case you just jump on your horse and hightail it out of here.”

  “Do I have to ask you, Matthew Douglas?” she quipped, looking up into his eyes, and narrowing hers.

  “Maybe,” he smiled. “You always did like taking the reins.”

  Daniel came in at that moment.

  “Well, I see nothing is going to get accomplished this way,” he laughed. “Mattie, you want to marry my son? Because I can’t wait to have you for a real daughter.”

  Mattie just nodded.

  “Well, then Matthew, you gonna ask the girl or not?”

  He looked sternly at his son.

  “Didn’t think I would have to be browbeaten into it,” he drawled.

  Then he looked down at Mattie’s worried eyes.