by Jayne Castle
"Oh, Josh," Reva breathed, her senses beginning to swim as pure sensation took over to govern her reactions. "I'd almost forgotten what it was like."
"Had you, little one?" he grated on the skin of her throat. "It seems I came back just in time." He slid her nightgown down to her waist and with a small moan of undisguised desire lowered his head to let his lips replace
his fingers on her breast. Gently Reva was lowered back against the pillows and Josh sprawled heavily across her, trapping her restless legs with his own.
"I told you earlier that I had never wanted a woman as much as I wanted you that night before I put you on the plane, but since then it's only gotten more intense for me," he husked thickly between a series of small, stinging kisses that seemed to flick her skin like a tiny whip. "Tonight I want you more than ever!"
Reva shivered at the raw sexual need in his words, thrilling to the increasingly intimate touch of his fingers as they traced erotic patterns over the curve of her hip and around to the delicious, sensitive softness of her inner thigh. She could no longer deny to herself that there was something unique in Josh's lovemaking for her. Something that, temporarily at least, made everything else seem unimportant. A distant part of Reva's mind was aware that she was succumbing to an uncontrollable desire that made no sense and should be fiercely stamped out. But tonight there was absolutely nothing she could do or wanted to do to stop it.
"Tell me what you're feeling, my sweet, passionate little Reva," Josh demanded in a low growl of urgency. "I want to know if you're half as crazy as I am right now!"
"I must be crazy, Josh," she admitted, curving her hips upward in an effort to feel his hand more intimately. "Nothing makes sense tonight. I only know I want you, need you!"
"I can feel your need, little one," he assured her with a masculine satisfaction that should have annoyed her but didn't. She was too far gone in her sensual world to think about the implications of her surrender. "You're so warm and soft and passionate. You were made for me, Reva Waring, and only a complete fool would throw away a gift
from the gods. I may be many things, but I'm not a fool!" His hand probed the very heart of her desire and Reva gasped in response, her breath beginning to come in quick, sharp pants.
"Oh, yes!" she cried out softly, arching closer, clinging to his shoulders in an effort to draw him more tightly against her slenderness. "Oh, Josh, please, please . . ." Reva's eyes were closed against the outside world as her body focused only on the pleasure and need and desire it was experiencing at this man's hands.
His mouth returned to hers, his tongue invading with a forceful demand that allowed only response, not resistance, assuming Reva had still been capable of resistance. She was more than willing to give him the reactions he seemed to crave. Her fingers dug into the muscles of his back and trailed down to his waist, circling and seeking the sensitive areas, delighting in each newly discovered one. There was a deep excitement in making love to Josh, Reva acknowledged, because he kept back nothing of his own response. He made no secret of his pleasure in her touch and that communication seemed to drive Reva's own level of response higher and higher.
Unable to restrain herself any longer, Reva turned more closely than ever into the heat of Josh's body, her fingers fumbling with the clasp of his slacks. She was impatient with the barrier of his clothes, wanting only to complete the inevitable union.
"My sweet, soft, Reva," Josh grated gently, his hand possessing the dampening, secret part of her. "I knew it wouldn't be long before you remembered everything about the way it was between us. You'll be mine legally, little one, just as soon as I can arrange it. In the morning I'll take care of everything. ..."
Blearily, Reva's love-drugged mind sought to com-
prehend exactly what Josh was saying and the instinct which had warned her earlier in the evening not to surrender reawakened. With Josh such a surrender this time could very well be final. She would not have another four months alone to reconsider her actions. And he was all wrong for her! She must remember that!
"Josh, no," she managed, fighting desperately for control over herself and the situation. How could she have let things go so far? It was all the fault of that nightmare. It weakened her so terribly and Josh was so warm and comforting.
"Yes, sweetheart," he muttered with a small hint of ferocity. "It was meant to be for us. You must understand that. I made you mine four months ago and now I must have what belongs to me!" His mouth burned along her shoulder, his tongue exploring the skin as if he was tasting her.
"No marriage, Josh!" she wailed helplessly, her head moving in a restless denial. But how could she deny the feel of him against her?
"Reva, honey," he said slowly, his voice husky but carrying a new seasoning of steel. "I haven't come back after all this time just to take you to bed."
Reva knew a touch of incipient hysteria. Every woman longed to hear such reassurance from the man who claimed a lover's rights. But this was the wrong man and she should know better than to give him such rights regardless of what he promised for the future. In fact, it would be better for all concerned if she granted him a physical surrender only and denied him anything else. But that wasn't like her! She couldn't sleep with a man she didn't love. But hadn't she done exactly that four months ago? The blunt truth made her cringe inwardly.
For a long moment there was a tense silence and Reva
had the impression Josh was struggling to gain control of himself. His hands stopped moving on her body and a traitorous part of her wanted to cry out at the loss. But her own mental self-control seized at the respite to try and reestablish normal defenses. Reva drew long, steadying breaths, her eyes closed.
"With very little effort," Josh murmured deeply at last, "I could take you tonight, couldn't I, Reva? Admit that much at least, honey. You were more than ready to surrender in my arms, weren't you?"
Reva refused to open her eyes and meet the demand she knew she would see in his face so close to her own. It was the truth. Why not verbally give him that much satisfaction? He knew it, anyway.
She nodded her head mutely and was rewarded by being pulled more tightly against his chest. Still she kept her eyes fiercely shut.
"Before I met you, Reva, that's all the surrender I ever wanted from a woman," he said deliberately, meaningfully. "But from you that's not good enough. Do you begin to comprehend, little Reva?"
Reva, the elemental female in her understanding all too well the completeness of the surrender he asked, chilled.
"Josh, that's all there can be between us. We're so different . . ." she started desperately, striving to make him understand.
When she finally opened her eyes it was to see the grim line of his mouth tighten still further as did his hold on her.
"You're blinding yourself to the truth, Reva, because you're afraid to trust your emotions to such an extent. But it's not going to do you any good, sweetheart, because I'm going to seduce you completely, wear you down and wear
you out. I swear to God I'll find the key to unlock the door you've closed on me!"
Reva's eyes widened in shock at the rasping intensity and determination in his voice. "But you already ... I mean, tonight you could have done that, seduced me. A moment ago I wouldn't have stopped you...." Her voice trailed off in bewilderment.
Josh shaped the line of her throat with his fingertips, pausing at the pulse in the hollow. His gaze enmeshed hers so that she couldn't have escaped if she'd tried.
"Don't get me wrong, sweetheart," he drawled in a tone which Reva thought contained something suspiciously akin to humor. "I shall be more than delighted to have your physical surrender. All I'm saying is that it's not enough. I want all the trust back. The trust you had in me four months ago. And I want the compassion and the need. I want to make my home with you, Reva Waring. It's time I had a home like other men. I may not deserve it, but I'm going to get it if it's the last thing I do!"
"That's . . . that's not what you and I have together," Reva heard
herself say almost harshly. "I'll admit that physically you and I are..." She hesitated, flushing as she searched for the right word.
"Compatible?" he suggested with a mocking dryness in his voice.
"Well, yes," she defended vigorously. "It's called desire, Josh, and it can happen to two people. You know that. You told me a few minutes ago that it was all you'd ever asked for in a woman."
"If it were all I wanted from you, I would have taken you tonight," he smiled gently.
"It's all I have to give you," she snapped. "Or rather, it's all I had to give you! I find I'm quite recovered from my nightmare now! In the future I shall have a much
firmer grip on myself, I assure you." Reva let anger whip her defenses firmly back into place. She would be far more careful around this man, she promised herself grimly.
He shook his head as if finding her touchingly amusing. "I'll be able to have your physical response anytime I want it, little Reva, and I shall probably want it frequently, if only to console myself while I wait for you to come to your senses and take me in."
"No, you will not!" she declared furiously. "I have more self-control than you seem to think. It was only that nightmare which made me weak tonight. I ... I would have been glad of anyone's comfort!"
The lion gaze narrowed and Reva had the impression she might have been a little too rash. An odd sensation of anxiety raced through her as she waited for his response.
"Don't say things like that, honey," he ordered in a deep, heavy voice that seemed to vibrate through the room. "There isn't going to be anyone else in your life. I'm home and I'm claiming what's mine. For everyone's sake, don't drag another man into this. I'm going to do my best to be patient with you and work out ail the problems you're having about our relationship, but if you try using another man in your resistance tactics I won't be responsible for the results!"
Reva blinked uncertainly at the clear warning in his words. It was the first time this evening she'd seen the glint of the steel she knew was just below the surface of the man.
"I'm not going to alter my whole life for you, Josh," she ground out coldly. "Saving my neck doesn't give you the right to come back and assume you can do as you like with me!"
"Yes, it does, sweetheart," he told her calmly, irrefutably.
"How can you say that!" she stormed, infuriated.
He shrugged mildly. "It's the truth. I want you and I'm going to make you admit you want me. If there's one thing I've learned in this life, Reva, it's that a man has to go after the important things. And you're very, very important to me."
"For how long, Josh?" she challenged bravely. "Until you get bored and go off on another assignment somewhere else in the world?"
"I've learned not to spend valuable energy on passing fancies, honey. I'm not going to exert all this patience and effort on someone I only want in my bed for a month or two! Give me some credit, Reva, I'm thirty-eight years old. I've learned a few things about myself and others."
"And you think you want me as a wife!" she scoffed, wondering silently at the prickle of intrigue that she was experiencing. One thing could safely be said about Josh Corbett and that was that he was very different from any other man she had ever known. It stood to reason his approach to getting a a wife would also be different. It was proving as deliberate and overwhelming as the rest of his actions.
"I'm ready for a home and a woman of my own, little one, and I'm going to get it."
"Josh, be reasonable," Reva urged gently, her heart suddenly going out to this man who had convinced himself that he wanted what other men his age had and was going to take it. "Your... your job isn't exactly conducive to a good home life. You must see that." She felt him tense at her words.
"What's wrong with my career?" he asked, sounding startled. She wondered that he had never questioned his own brutal line of work. "I can support a wife!" He sounded as if he'd taken offense at the implication.
Reva took a deep breath, managing to free one of her
wrists at last. She looked into Josh's now perplexed expression and sighed. "People who fight other people's wars for them couldn't possibly make good husbands. Admit it, Josh. What you want is for men who live normal lives and have normal jobs."
"Other people's wars!" He looked positively astounded. Levering himself up into a sitting position and bracing himself against the headboard with one hand he glared down into her tightly drawn face. "What the hell are you talking about, Reva Waring!"
Reva bit her lip, not having expected him to try and deny his means of livelihood. Whatever else he might be, Josh was honest. Or at least she had always thought him so. "It was pretty obvious what you were doing down there in South America, Josh," she said quietly, sitting up and adjusting the nightgown back into position. She used the small action as an excuse not to meet his eyes. She knew he was getting angry. But he reached out and snagged her chin, forcing her full attention. The grim set of his face made her swallow nervously.
"You think," he began slowly, as if not quite able to comprehend the extent of her stupidity, "that I'm some kind of damn mercenary?"
"Aren't you?" she replied in a small, flat voice.
"No!" he slung back instantly, clearly incensed. "God in heaven, woman, whatever gave you that idea?"
"It... it seemed obvious, Josh," she murmured a little desperately, thoroughly confused herself now. "Everything about you . . ." Her hand waved in a vague little motion as she let the sentence falter. "The first time I saw you, you were carrying that rifle and you looked as if you'd been doing it half your life. And you didn't even pause when you shot that creature who was attacking me.
You seemed so hard and tough. Oh, Josh, what was I to think?"
"You could have asked me!" he growled.
"How do you ask a man if he's a professional killer!" she biazed. But a strange sense of hope was flickering alive deep inside. Firmly she stamped it out. Even if this man wasn't what she had thought, he still was not the one for her.
"R.eva, you little idiot, it never occurred to me that you thought I was a professional mercenary. I thought I told you at one point that I was in the country doing business with its government when that uprising broke out." Josh shook his head in exasperation.
"I thought that was just a polite way of saying you worked for the ruling faction," Reva mumbled, beginning to be embarrassed by the misunderstanding. She could feel the heat in her cheeks and was glad of the darkness. Josh's fingers still clamped her face in a viselike grip, though, and it was impossible to turn away.
"Reva," he began with clearly limited patience, "as the senior company man on the scene when the revolutionaries attempted to overthrow the government, it was my responsibility to oversee the evacuation of my firm's personnel. It was in the course of that process that I acquired the weapons. They were given to me by a military officer because he couldn't spare the men needed to protect our people. I got our personnel out and then decided to stay behind to protect my company's interests. There was talk of nationalizing all foreign-owned businesses. I had some contacts in the government and thought that if I stayed on the scene I would have a better chance of preventing a government or a revolutionary takeover of the firm's assets. That's all there was to it. I was keeping a low profile until matters cooled down when I got word that there was
an American woman trapped in one of the outlying villages. I came looking for you and found you." He shrugged his massive shrug.
Reva unclenched her unconsciously compressed fingers, a curious wave of relief rolling over her at learning the truth. "I'm glad, Josh," she said simply, meaning it. She decided not to press him for all the details, such as how he'd done such a good job of keeping them both alive. She had the notion most modern U.S. business firms didn't include that in management training.
"Reva, honey," he went on more mildly as she lowered her lashes against the perceptive gleam in his honey eyes, "Was this matter of believing I was a mercenary the reason you didn't think I'd come back for you? Is that why y
ou were so frightened when I talked of marriage?"
"It was definitely one of the reasons," she admitted dryly. "You'll have to agree that the prospect of marrying a man who is only at home when he's resting between campaigns isn't a very thrilling one!"
"No, I can see where it wouldn't be," he said, and she could hear the new thread of humor in his voice. He seemed to be experiencing a sense of relief, too, she realized. "Well, I'm glad we got that out in the open," he added, and then, quite carelessly, as if it were ail settled: "How soon will you marry me, honey? I've got a month off before I have to be back at work."
"Josh!" Reva stared at him, startled. "Nothing has changed! I'm very glad you're not. . . what I thought you were, but that doesn't make any real difference between us. We're still two entirely different people and we both lead different lives. In spite of what you think, we know virtually nothing about each other."
His look hardened perceptibly and he reached over to grab a pillow which he stuffed behind himself. "Don't tell
me," he grated, sprawling disgustedly back against the headboard, "that I'm right where I was earlier this evening. Square one!" He appeared thoroughly short tempered about the matter, Reva thought worriedly.
"I can't imagine what gave you the impression that the only thing standing in the way of a marriage between us was my opinion of your supposed career!" she snapped a bit wildly. "I've told you, there are several reasons."
"We are back to square one," he sighed, closing his eyes tightly for a moment and rubbing the bridge of his nose in a slow, massaging action that suddenly made him look very tired. "Why did I have to go and fall for a stubborn, idiotic little female who can face an armed guerrilla like a cornered cat but who can't face her own emotions with any courage at all!"
