Love for a Soldier

by Mary Jane Staples

  ‘But I am, aren’t I? And you know it. In just two days—’

  ‘We are both in love?’ Sophia was breathless. ‘In just two days we have both lived a lifetime together?’

  ‘Unfortunately, yes.’ He smiled and touched her hair. Her lashes flickered and fell. Her body trembled. He touched her face and was shocked to feel the wetness of tears. ‘I hope, on top of everything else, I’m not making you cry.’

  ‘I want to know – you aren’t saying you love me because I’ve hurt my foot and because you want to be kind?’

  ‘No, I’m simply saying I love you because I can’t help myself,’ he said.

  ‘That is something else to remember, something wonderful.’

  ‘Aren’t you forgetting Fritz?’ he asked.

  ‘Oh, you will forgive me about that, won’t you?’ Emotional, she caught his hand. ‘You will forgive me that Fritz was my yesterday’s wish? I don’t want you to think you are today’s – that I could only love you until tomorrow or next week – it isn’t true. You must believe me.’

  ‘Are you sad, Sophia, because you know it would be better if it were true?’

  ‘I’ve only thought it would be better if I didn’t love you at all,’ she said, ‘and anyway, what does it matter how much I love you and for how long? There’s nothing for us, is there? Nothing.’

  ‘There’s the end of the war, my sweet, and what we can make of the peace.’

  ‘But don’t you see, when you leave me we shall never see each other again. All we have is now.’ She reached to touch his shoulders. ‘That is right, isn’t it? We only have what we have now. Please?’

  He bent his head and kissed her. Her lips were warm and feverish. She wound her arms around him and her sadness drowned itself in the surging, swamping tide of love.

  She soared into the unknown.

  The road was still a river of dark field-grey. Infantry divisions, newly made up to strength, were solid in their march. They would take hours to pass. Major Kirsten watched in company with Elissa and Sergeant Lugar.

  ‘They couldn’t have crossed, Major,’ said Elissa. ‘The road would have been blocked well before they got here.’

  ‘So, what else can they do, then, but wait until it’s clear?’ Major Kirsten felt he was balanced very finely between success and failure.

  ‘Major,’ said Sergeant Lugar, ‘my orders –’

  ‘Yes, quite so. Return to your barracks, Sergeant Lugar. You can drive that van?’

  ‘Yes, Major.’

  ‘Give him the keys, Lieutenant.’

  Sergeant Lugar, receiving the keys, saluted the major. He also saluted Elissa. She had given him a rare jolting in the back of the van, but he had no hard feelings, and he began his walk back to the van.

  ‘A day of blanks and near misses,’ said Major Kirsten, and looked up at the crescent moon. ‘We almost had them.’

  ‘Yes, almost,’ said Elissa. ‘They will have to wait, Major. Douai will be under curfew until dawn.’

  ‘They may not realize that, but they’ll wait until the road’s clear, at least. Lieutenant, return to the car and drive yourself back to Headquarters. You need a meal and you need rest.’

  ‘Major?’ said Elissa in dismay.

  ‘I shall stay,’ he said. ‘They’re somewhere around. I know it; I feel it.’ He looked back. The darkness was touched a little by the moon’s light. ‘I’m worried by the fact that they’re in concert. Sophia can’t know what she’s doing. But they’ll come this way again, as soon as they think the road is clear. Perhaps they’re in that wood again. If so, they’ll hear me before I hear them. I must catch them in the open, and this time I’ll risk a confrontation.’

  ‘Major, you’ll allow me, please, to stay with you,’ said Elissa. ‘With respect, it’s hardly fair to dismiss me from the exercise now. Indeed, I’ll only go if you order me to.’

  ‘With regret, Lieutenant, I must order you, then.’

  He seemed so uncharacteristically severe that Elissa whispered fiercely, ‘Oh, that’s not fair.’

  ‘Lieutenant?’ he said, an eyebrow lifted.

  ‘Well, it isn’t.’

  ‘I’m not aware of the relevance of that.’

  ‘I’m afraid it’s very relevant, Major, for you’re placing me in the impossible position of having to refuse the order.’

  ‘I don’t think I heard that,’ said Major Kirsten. ‘Indeed, I’m sure I didn’t. Return to Headquarters, Lieutenant.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ said Elissa, ‘but I’m not permitted to.’

  ‘Not permitted?’

  ‘As a WAC officer, I’m not permitted to be in charge of any army vehicle without a male escort. This regulation is strictly emphasized in occupied territory. By day, the escort must not rank lower than a sergeant. By night, not lower than a junior officer.’

  Major Kirsten received this information with a sigh.

  ‘Your regulations are terrifying,’ he said.

  ‘Major, I think you are well aware of them.’

  ‘I am now. Thank you for filling me in.’ Major Kirsten mused on the dark, flowing stream of Germany’s unequalled fighting men, and thought of other great and mighty offensives. They had all turned into bloodbaths ‘So, either we both return to Headquarters or we both stay, matching ourselves against our elusive pair. I prefer to continue the match, even if I have to prowl about here all night. Elissa, we must separate Sophia from this airman while we alone know she’s not under duress. Do you understand?’

  ‘Yes, I understand,’ said Elissa, and felt uncomfortable.

  ‘If she reaches Douai and elopes with her lover without a word of complaint or information about the Englishman, do you see how seriously that will harm her standing as a loyal German, and how that will reflect on her father?’

  ‘I do see,’ said Elissa. She could not explain her moment of defection, except to say she had acted out of a sense of compassion.

  ‘Men are imperfect beings,’ murmured Major Kirsten. ‘We’re imperfect both in peace and in war. We’ve no idea how to keep the peace or how to end a war.’

  He walked with Elissa on silent patrol, the pastures shrouded by night, the moon a receding glimmer as clouds edged back over it. A blustery wind came to assert its claim on the month of March. Searchlights, fingering the western horizon, created their faint moving patterns in the sky. The day had been fairly quiet. The night was uneasy.

  If the fugitives were around, thought Major Kirsten, they would emerge eventually. Sophia, if not the airman, must be apprehended.

  Elissa’s thoughts ran on different lines.

  It was after midnight when she took a walk to speak to the sentry on guard at the entrance to the Luftwaffe repair unit. Sleepily, he told her where to go to get what she wanted. She walked down to the sheds, passing an Albatros plane standing silent on the runway, and aroused the duty sergeant. Major Kirsten stayed where he was, pacing slowly about, watching the shrouded landscape and listening for the elusive, while Elissa arranged for the preparation of hot drinks and a little food.

  Chapter Nineteen

  THE DAWN WAS grey and cold. Captain Marsh awoke to the sound of an engine firing. Stiffly, he detached himself from Sophia’s arms. She stirred and murmured. In the bleak light he saw the Albatros standing at the beginning of the lengthy runway. Its engine pitch increased. A mechanic throttled down, left it ticking over and descended from the cockpit. He spoke to a ground mechanic. The man gave the chocks a glance, then both men took the long walk to an airman standing outside a shed. All three entered the shed in search of some hot coffee, while the plane’s new engine warmed itself up.

  It ticked over very steadily.

  Sophia opened her eyes. Captain Marsh, on his feet and keeping himself out of sight of German personnel, smiled down at her. Warm blood suffused her.

  ‘We are going to Douai now?’ she whispered.

  ‘No, Sophia. I’m going over that wire fence. You’re going to go back to your father. I’ve got my eye on that pl
ane. They’re letting the engine run for a while, and I think the pilot’s drinking hot coffee. I can fly an Albatros. If I can get the chocks away before anyone sees me – Sophia, I must take this chance to get back to my squadron –’

  ‘No, you can’t,’ she gasped, suddenly aware of what that meant.

  ‘I must. But I’ll write – somehow I’ll get a letter to you –’

  ‘No, you can’t,’ she gasped again. She was horrified, knowing that if he got away he would inform the British Army of the huge German troops’ movements. She had forgotten, in wanting him to escape, all he had seen. He would rob Germany of the chance of ending the war, he would alert the British and the French.

  ‘Sophia, my sweet, I have to go,’ he said, and bent to kiss her. Stricken by what he would do and by her own part in helping him to avoid capture, she twisted away. He winced, but he went. She saw him run to the wire fence and make his leap. His hands clamped around the top of a supporting post. The guard at the far end of the perimeter did not even seem awake, let alone alert. Sophia, mind spinning and heart sick, saw the revolver in the grass where Captain Marsh had dropped it in the night and forgotten it. She snatched it, released the safety catch and, on her knees, pointed the weapon, both hands fiercely gripping it. He was on the fence, hauling himself up, and her every emotion was frenzied. Only her country and the great final offensive counted now.

  ‘Come back!’ She screamed the words. Major Kirsten heard her. So did Elissa.

  Captain Marsh was at the top. He turned his head for a last look at Sophia. He was poised for the jump. She fired. She fired mercilessly and compulsively. She had to. For Germany and for her father. Captain Marsh jerked, twisted and fell, inside the fence. His body thudded, and he lay very still. In the distance, Major Kirsten began to run, Elissa with him.

  Sophia did not know how long it was before someone spoke to her.

  ‘Sophia?’ The voice was quiet but warm.

  Lying on her face, shutting out the picture of what she had done, she lifted her head. Major Kirsten reached down and gently helped her to her feet. She swayed.

  ‘Is he dead?’ she asked, her face white, her eyes tragic.

  ‘Sophia –’

  ‘Have you looked at him? Is he dead?’

  ‘Yes, I’ve looked at him.’ Major Kirsten’s face was drawn, his eyes tired. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘An ambulance will be taking him away.’

  Sophia closed her eyes. She shivered and her teeth chattered. She opened her eyes and looked. He was there, on the other side of the wire, not far from the runway. There was a blanket over his body, and a German soldier standing beside him. The Albatros was gone.

  ‘Oh, dear God,’ she said.

  ‘Was it unavoidable in the end?’ asked Major Kirsten.

  ‘Yes. But he was a brave man, Major.’

  ‘And an elusive one.’

  ‘He did not harm me,’ she whispered.

  But he has left his mark on you, thought the major. The sadness on her face was heartbreaking.

  ‘We worried a little,’ he said.

  ‘You have followed us all this time?’ she said numbly.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘He might have let you take him last night, for my sake.’

  ‘I believe you,’ said Major Kirsten gently. ‘Sophia, there’s some hot coffee on its way. Will you then permit me to take you to Headquarters, to your father?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I’ve no questions, except one. He was going for that plane?’

  ‘Yes. And he would have informed the Allies about our troop movements. He would have had to, wouldn’t he?’

  ‘He would,’ said Major Kirsten, and sighed. It was all he wanted to know for the moment, why she had shot him. She had been desperately loyal to her country in the end. There would be no unpleasant questions now. He saw Elissa coming up. ‘Sophia, this is Lieutenant Landsberg, with the coffee. If you wish to talk to her, you’ll find her a person who will understand. I’ll wait by the car.’

  He delivered Sophia into Elissa’s care. Elissa pressed a mug of coffee into her hands. Sophia sipped at it like a woman who had no idea what she was drinking or why.

  ‘Sophia, will you allow me, please?’ said Elissa, and put a German greatcoat around Sophia’s shoulders, for Sophia’s own coat seemed inadequate. She was shivering from head to foot. The greatcoat had been left by Captain Marsh. He and Sophia had shared it during the night.

  ‘Thank you,’ said Sophia. Elissa had never seen eyes so hugely tragic. ‘You were with Major Kirsten, following us.’

  ‘Yes,’ said Elissa. ‘We were so very worried, you see.’

  ‘You saw us,’ said Sophia, looking again at the blanket-covered body.

  ‘I can’t recall that,’ said Elissa.

  ‘Why did you do nothing?’

  Elissa took the empty mug from the numb hands and said, ‘I saw only your eyes, I did not see you. I beg you not to mention it to Major Kirsten.’

  Sophia touched the hand of the woman who had understood.

  She felt frozen. He had loved her and he was dead now. His motor garage would stand empty. Only his friend, a man called Simon Tukes, would make the horseshoes.

  ‘I am so sad,’ she said, and Elissa knew why General von Feldermann’s daughter had turned about in her allegiance and gone freely with the British airman, and why it had been the most tragic moment of her life when she realized she had to shoot him.

  A strong sleeping draught took Sophia out of her nightmare and into long rest. She lay in a room next to her father’s in the chateau.

  Headquarters was a hive of activity. Ludendorff had been and gone, leaving everything as near to planned perfection as it could be, with General von Feldermann quite clear about what was expected of him and his Corps. The general had had little time to spare for other things this morning, but he had talked to Sophia, and Sophia had said all she wanted to in the space of a minute. The essence of it was that she was willing to return to her mother, but that she would like the privilege of deciding her own future. He understood.

  ‘One can learn, Sophia, even at my age,’ he said. ‘I’m aware now that your life is your own. It belongs to no one else, only to you.’

  He also found time to talk to Major Kirsten. He did so in the major’s own room. They spoke, of course, about Sophia and the RFC airman. At the end, the general asked whether the man would recover.

  ‘Incredibly, he has a chance,’ said Major Kirsten. ‘I frankly thought him dead until the hospital telephoned to say that the ambulance orderly had detected the faintest pulse rate. He seems a man determined not to give in.’

  ‘The situation is impossible, Josef, you realize that?’

  ‘General, I think you’ll find Sophia realizes it herself.’

  ‘It would be better, then, for Sophia to still think him dead. For her sake, that would be infinitely better.’

  Major Kirsten wondered if that really was for Sophia’s sake.

  ‘General—’

  ‘Yes, I know what you’re thinking. But consider it, Sophia imagining herself in love with a man so lacking in honour and decency that he was prepared to use her as a hostage.’

  ‘If I’m to believe Lieutenant Landsberg, Sophia isn’t imagining it. It’s unfortunate, but stranger things have happened. I’d suggest—’

  ‘I’d prefer no compromise,’ said the general. ‘I am, I assure you, putting Sophia’s welfare first. Please leave things as they are. I’m old enough and you’re wise enough for both of us to know she’ll get over him. Does Lieutenant Landsberg know the man is still alive?’

  ‘No. She’s in her quarters getting a few hours’ sleep.’

  ‘Say nothing to her, Josef. If the man fully recovers, he’s to be sent to a prisoner-of-war camp. That’s all. No other action is to be taken.’

  ‘None in respect of what might be termed his abduction of your daughter?’

  ‘None.’ General von Feldermann was crisp. ‘Good God, can you imagine the new
ordeal for Sophia when she’s called to testify? And would she testify on coming face to face with him?’

  ‘I agree, she should be spared any inquiry,’ said Major Kirsten. ‘But –’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘We’re not sparing her a worse ordeal, her sense of tragedy. Imagined or not, she was in love with him, but she stopped him escaping. She stopped him taking information to the Allies of our build-up. In doing that she thinks she killed him. It would mean a great deal to her peace of mind if she were given the news that he has a chance of recovery.’

  ‘No. I know Sophia. She would fly to his bedside, never mind that his country is at war with ours.’

  ‘I beg to disagree, General. I don’t think she’d do that. She’d wait.’

  ‘Wait?’

  ‘Until the war is over.’ Major Kirsten wondered why he was fighting for Sophia and the airman. ‘Your worries about her might be eased, for if she’s going to get over her feelings, that would give her time to.’

  ‘Josef, allow me to decide whether she’s to be told or not.’ The general grimaced in self-distaste. ‘Her life is her own, but she needs a little help to find the right direction.’

  ‘As you wish, General,’ said Major Kirsten, though for once he was not in complete agreement with the Corps commander. ‘But if he recovers, he may write to her.’

  The general frowned.

  ‘I hope there’ll be no letters,’ he said. ‘Sophia should be allowed to forget the trauma of it all. Josef, if this man recovers, tell no one. And may I leave it to you to ensure there’ll be no letters?’

  ‘Ensure?’

  ‘Yes. Thank you. Incidentally, some staff adjustments are being made to cope with divisional requirements during the offensive. These mainly concern our WAC personnel. Ten of them are being transferred.’

  ‘I suppose they can be considered surplus to our requirements now that planning work is complete,’ said Major Kirsten. His scarred eye looked blank, his sound eye looked tired. He guessed what was coming.

  ‘Lieutenant Landsberg will be going to 51st Divisional Headquarters,’ said the general. ‘I think you can spare her now?’

  ‘Frankly, General, she is not an assistant I can easily spare.’