Emily’s forehead creases. “You seem awfully calm about everything.”
“Yeah, right now. When I’m not in the middle of shopping for baby clothes or a crib or other baby gear with salesladies and complete strangers assuming Colton is mine.”
“What do you mean?”
I tell her about my weekend shopping adventures and how much it bothered me when people assumed Colton was my baby, and how it made me feel like an outsider to the whole thing.
“I’m sorry, Ashley. This really sucks.” Looking thoughtful, she says, “If some chick showed up with Nick’s baby, I don’t know what I’d do.” She shakes her head. “Honestly, my first reaction would probably be to kick him to the curb.”
“The idea did cross my mind.”
Her eyebrows shoot up. “Really?”
“Yes, of course.” Sighing, I shake my head. “The only problem is, I really love him.” Then a lopsided smile pulls up one side of my mouth. “And it turns out he’s a really good dad.”
“Yeah, I guess that would make it harder to end things.”
I think about Drake’s anxiety the previous morning when he was about to take Colton to his new daycare. His sincere concern had touched me. “Plus, he wants to start a family with me soon.”
“Already?”
“I was surprised too.”
We’re quiet for a moment. “So, what’s the mother like?”
Not sure how I feel about Megan being referred to that way because the title seems to give her a larger role in our lives, I frown. “She agreed to joint custody, but she also demanded a large child support payment.”
“Does Drake get along with her?”
I picture our interactions so far. “He seems to.”
“That’s good. I mean, sometimes these things can get really ugly.”
I hope that doesn’t happen. Things are difficult enough as they are. “Yeah. So far so good.”
“How are the wedding plans going?”
My mouth stretches into a grimace. “We haven’t talked about the wedding at all.” I pause. “Besides me saying that I don’t want to start a family until after the wedding.”
“Well, I guess you’ve both been kind of preoccupied lately.”
Yeah, with something that has the potential to prevent the wedding from occurring.
My face must reveal my thoughts, because Emily’s eyebrows pull together before she asks, “You’re still going to marry him, aren’t you?”
“I…I think so.”
“You think so? Ash, this is the man you fought hard for.”
“I know,” I say before she can go on. “I just…I’m still trying to come to grips with everything.”
“Look, I’ll totally understand if you decide not to go through with it, but you’d better think long and hard about it because I don’t want to have to hear about any regrets.”
When Drake proposed to me, the answer had been so simple. But everything’s changed and nothing is simple anymore. “I know.”
“What about working at Drake Consulting?” she asks. “You told me you were going to talk to Drake about hiring you.”
“You know, with everything going on, I totally forgot about that. I don’t know though. I think for now I’ll just stay where I am.”
“Probably a good idea.”
Ready to talk about something besides all of my problems, I turn the conversation in another direction.
Thirty-Three
DRAKE
“Ashley will be home soon,” I murmur to Colton as he sucks on his bottle. I’m glad she’s gotten some time with Emily, but I want to see her.
Moments later the doorbell rings. Carrying Colton in the crook of one arm, I go to the door and pull it open.
“Hi,” Megan says as her gaze goes to Colton, then to me. “I, uh, I missed him and had to come see him.”
Surprised to see her, but understanding why, I say, “Of course. Come on in.”
“Is Ashley home?”
“No, she’s visiting a friend.”
She follows me to the living room and startles me by sitting beside me on the couch.
“You can hold him if you want,” I offer, wondering why she’s sitting so close to me.
She nods and takes him from me. Tears fill her eyes as she watches him eat. “How’s he sleeping at night?”
“Okay, I guess. He wakes up every four hours or so.”
She turns to me, and with a soft smile, says, “You amaze me, Drake.”
Proud that my parenting skills seem to meet her approval, I smile. “Thanks.”
Her head slowly shakes from side to side. “If only I’d known.”
“What do you mean?”
“If only I’d known what a great father you’d be, I would’ve fought a lot harder for our relationship.”
I think back to a year earlier when I decided I had enough of her hints for a more permanent relationship. I liked her fine—had liked her a lot as a matter of fact. But I just hadn’t been ready for the next step. Not until Ashley came along. “It is what it is.”
She’s quiet a moment, her gaze going from me to the baby and back to me. “It’s not too late, Drake.” A lovely smile curves her mouth. “We made this beautiful baby together. We can be a family, Drake. We can. You, me, and Colton.” The expression on her face softens. “I still love you, Drake.” The words come out in a whisper as her eyes are steady on me.
My heart hitches at her words. I care for her as the mother of my child, but I don’t love her like that. And though what she says is true—life would be simpler if we were together—when I picture Ashley, love for her surges through me.
“I’m sorry, Megan, but I’m with Ashley now. We’re going to get married.”
Her expression hardens and she looks away.
Not wanting to turn her against me, I add, “You and I…we need to work together.”
She faces me again. “I know.” Her tone is less warm than it was moments before, but she doesn’t seem angry.
I don’t say anything for several moments. “When do you want to pick Colton up?”
She sighs. “Friday after work.”
As much as I’ve enjoyed having Colton here, I know I’ll be ready for a break. “Sounds good.”
“I’m sorry, Drake,” she says after a moment. “I didn’t mean to put you in an awkward position. I know we need to work together to raise our son, but I was just…hoping…that things could be different.”
Warmth towards her rushes over me and I wrap my arms around her and pull her against me. “I’m sorry if this is hard for you, but we’ll make it work.”
She lays her head against my shoulder. “I know.”
The front door opens and Ashley walks in.
ASHLEY
My gaze shoots to the intimate scene in the living room—Drake’s arms around Megan, who’s holding Colton.
What the hell?
I wonder if Drake invited her over when he knew I was going to be gone.
Why, though? Why would he do that?
The feeling of being an outsider—an interloper—floods me, and I spin around, ready to walk out the door.
“Ashley,” Drake says as he springs to his feet and hurries towards me.
Wanting him to stop me, desperate to feel like I belong to him, I turn around.
He drags me against him and whispers, “Please let me explain.”
Needing to believe that this is not what it looks like, I nod and let him lead me to the living room where I sit on the opposite end of the couch from Megan as he sits in a chair adjacent to me.
Megan smiles at me, but I can see sadness in her eyes. Deciding that there’s more going on than I thought, I say, “How are you?”
She glances at Colton. “I missed my baby so I had to come see him.”
Reminded once again how integral she’ll be in our lives, I nod, although it doesn’t help my resentment towards her.
Colton finishes his bottle and Megan puts him against her shoulder, th
en pats his back until he burps. She snuggles with him for several moments, then she stands and steps towards Drake. “I’ll see you on Friday.”
He stands and takes the baby. “All right.”
I watch her walk out the door, and the moment it closes behind her I turn to Drake. “What was that all about?”
He sits beside me on the couch. “I didn’t know she was going to come over. Like she said, she missed Colton.”
“Okay. I understand that. But that doesn’t explain why you were hugging her.”
Sighing audibly, he adjusts Colton on his lap. “She suggested…” A muscle works in his jaw as he looks away from me, then he meets my gaze. “She wanted to get back together.”
My heart stutters at his words, and my feeling of being an outsider intensifies. It makes sense. They are a family. Tears flood my eyes as I imagine being jettisoned from Drake’s life because it makes more sense for him to be with the mother of his child.
At the look on my face, Drake says, “I told her no. I told her I love you, that I’m going to marry you.”
The image of his arms wrapped around her fills my mind. It doesn’t gel with what he just said. My lips compress as I stare at him. Then I remember the look of sadness in Megan’s eyes. “What did she say when you told her that?”
“She was disappointed, of course, but she gets it.”
Though glad that Drake made it clear that he’s with me, I can’t help but worry that this won’t be Megan’s only attempt to take Drake away from me.
Thirty-Four
DRAKE
On Thursday evening, Megan stops by again. Somewhat uncomfortable with her dropping by whenever she feels like it—although I’d told her she could when she brought Colton over the previous Sunday—I invite her in. Ashley is making dinner in the kitchen, and she comes out to see what’s going on.
“Just missing my baby,” Megan says to both of us as she steps inside. “Where is he?”
“He’s sleeping,” I say, hoping she’ll leave. Having her there is awkward, especially after what she suggested two nights before—dump Ashley and get together with her.
“Oh.” A small smile lifts her lips. “Do you mind if I peek in on him?”
Denying her doesn’t feel right, so I nod. “Sure. He’s in here.” She follows me down the hall, but Ashley goes back into the kitchen.
“Ahhh,” she says as she bends over the crib. “He’s so adorable.” She smiles at me. “We made a beautiful baby, Drake.”
I can’t deny that, but I don’t like the intimacy she’s implying, so I just smile.
Evidently she doesn’t like my silence, because she turns to me and asks, “Don’t you agree?”
“Of course I do.” Without warning, her hand slips into mine. Startled, I freeze.
“We should give him a brother or sister,” she whispers. Then she squeezes my hand.
I yank my hand away. “No, Megan.” I turn towards her and place my hands on her shoulders, then gaze at her intently. “That’s not going to happen. I’m going to marry Ashley and I’m going to have children with Ashley.” I stare at her a moment. “Got it?”
Her expression never wavers. “But you’re not married yet.” She frowns. “You need to consider what’s best for our child—for him to be raised with you and a stepmother who always looks at him as second best? Or to be raised by two loving parents, parents who love him the best. Think about it, Drake. Do you really think Ashley will love him like she loves her own children?” She glances towards the door then looks back at me. “From what I’ve seen, you’re the one who’s been taking care of our child. Not her. She doesn’t seem interested in him at all.”
I can’t deny that I’ve been the one caring for Colton. But he’s my son, not Ashley’s. It should be my responsibility.
“Just think about it, Drake.” She gently strokes my arm. “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.” With that, she leaves the room, and moments later I hear the front door close.
I gaze down at Colton, who’s lying on his back with his arms thrown above his head. Could Megan be right? If Ashley and I have children of our own, will she treat Colton differently than she treats our children?
I don’t want to think that Ashley’s capable of behaving that way, but now that Megan has planted that seed, it’s taken root and I begin to worry.
“That was a quick visit,” Ashley says as I walk into the kitchen.
I lean against the counter and watch as she chops the vegetables. “Yeah. But I’m glad she didn’t stay too long.” It was getting awkward in there.
Ashley seems to hesitate before asking, “Do you think she’s going to drop by like that often?”
I hope not. “I don’t know.” I pause a beat. “Does it bother you?”
She puts the vegetables into a pot to steam, then looks at me, her eyebrows pulled together. “It’s not that I blame her for wanting to see her son, but to be honest, yeah, it does bother me.” She gazes at me for a moment. “Does it bother you?”
I think about her last two visits, and her not-so-subtle suggestions that she and I get back together. “Maybe once she gets used to this joint custody arrangement, she’ll stop doing that.”
Ashley nods, then checks on the casserole in the oven. When she stands, she turns to me. “Did you tell her about our new house?”
I shake my head. “Not yet.” The seed of doubt that Megan planted wants to sprout, and I know it’s something I need to discuss with Ashley. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
I’m not sure how to ask this without sounding like a total jerk. “This might sound like a strange question, and I don’t want you to take it the wrong way, but I have to ask.”
Ashley tilts her head. “What is it?”
“Do you think…” I pause as I try to form the question. “When we have our own children, do you think you’ll feel differently towards them compared to the way you’ll feel towards Colton?”
ASHLEY
Confused for a moment, it suddenly occurs to me what he’s asking. “You’re wondering if I’ll love our children more than I’ll love Colton.” I can see by the look on Drake’s face that I’m right. I’m actually not offended, although I wonder where he got the idea. Then I know. “Is that what Megan told you? That I won’t love your baby as much as I’ll love mine?”
Again, I can see I’ve hit the nail on the head. A mix of emotions surge through me—fury is most prominent, but not far behind is resignation. Resignation that Megan is going to keep trying to insert herself between me and Drake, and I wonder if Drake sees it.
Drake shifts uncomfortably, then says, “Yeah. She did.”
My fury spikes. “You do realize that she’s just trying to break us up, don’t you?”
“Of course I do. I’m not blind or stupid.”
“Then why did you even ask?”
His mouth firms. “Maybe because I want to know the answer.” He stares at me, clearly waiting for a reply.
I have no idea how I’ll feel. I’ve never been a mother, so how can I possibly know how I’ll feel about my children in comparison with Colton? But I don’t want to share those thoughts with Drake, so I say, “I don’t think it will matter whether they’re our children or your child. I think I’ll love them the same.” I know that’s what he wants to hear, and despite not really knowing how I’ll feel, I believe I’m being honest.
“Okay. That’s what I thought.”
The timer goes off, the casserole is done. I turn away from Drake and take the food out of the oven.
“I’ll set the table,” he says.
“Thanks,” I say over my shoulder, but inside I’m stewing over the fact that Megan would suggest something like that to Drake about me.
During dinner, the subject doesn’t come up again, and when Colton wakes before we’re done eating, I make it a point to be the one to get him and feed him his dinner. As I gaze at his sweet face, I become more certain that I’ll love him as much as I’ll
love my own children.
Late that night as I toss and turn in bed, I have an epiphany. Where before I thought it was all about me and what I want—do I want to marry Drake or is it too much to take on his child? Now, I understand that it’s not just my decision. Drake has other options now too—he could end things with me and choose Megan instead.
Kind of shocked to realize that, when I consider what my life would be like with Drake not in it, a sense of great loss sweeps over me and tears flood my eyes.
That’s not what I want at all.
Without warning I’m overwhelmed with love for him and I know exactly what I want, what I’ve wanted all along but was too distracted by all the upheaval to recognize.
I love him. I want to marry him. I want to have children with him.
Peace settles over me, and I curl my body against his. He was asleep, but now he stirs.
“Are you still awake?” he asks as he turns towards me.
I kiss him. “Yes.”
He slowly smiles. “That makes two of us.” Softly chuckling, he says, “Maybe we need to do something about that.”
My smile matches his. “What do you have in mind?”
After giving me a long, passionate kiss, he says, “First tell me why you’re awake so late.”
I gaze at him a moment, love for him surging through me. “I was just thinking.” Then I smile a secret smile.
“What?”
“That I’m going to marry you. No matter what.”
DRAKE
As I watch Ashley’s face, I know she means it, and happiness blossoms inside me. “That’s good. Because I’m going to marry you, no matter what.”
She laughs, and I tug her against me, then I show her how much I love her.
Thirty-Five
DRAKE
On Friday evening when Megan comes to pick up Colton, I tell her I need to talk to her. Ashley and I discussed this in advance, and when the doorbell rang Ashley went into the bedroom to wait.
Drake and Ashley: The Complete Story Page 59
