Mid-morning the next day, Megan shows up with Colton in her arms. Ashley’s grocery shopping, so I’m the only one home.
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” she asks with a frown of doubt.
Though I’m not sure, I know that the only way to learn is to jump in with both feet. “Yeah. I’m ready.” Then I tell her about the daycare that agreed to take Colton the next day.
“Oh.” Her tone sounds as if she’s disappointed that I succeeded in this task.
“What’s wrong? I thought you wanted me to find a place.”
“It’s just that,” she begins, then hesitates. “How do you know…I mean, do you think it’s a good place?”
This is my child too, and although I’m brand-new to this fatherhood gig, I’m just as concerned as she is that this place will take good care of our baby. “Someone Ashley works with takes her kids there. That’s how I found the place.”
A small smile turns up the corners of her lips. “Okay. Just…can you check it out before you leave him there?”
“I’ll make sure it’s safe. I promise.” I hold out my hands to take Colton, but Megan seems reluctant. My eyebrows rise. “Are you ready for this?”
Tears fill her eyes, which makes me feel like the bad guy.
“We can wait,” I say.
She bites her lip. “No. I’m ready.”
I kind of doubt that, but now that I’ve mentally prepared myself to care for Colton this week—not to mention all the baby gear I’ve bought—I’m eager for the challenge. “You can stop by and see him whenever you want.” I actually hope she doesn’t, but I don’t want her to feel like I’m taking her baby away from her.
“Thanks.” She gazes at me a moment, and I wonder what she’s thinking. “Well,” she finally says as she takes the diaper bag off of her shoulder. “There’s a few diapers and wipes in there, plus some formula.”
Wanting her to know I’m on top of things, I say, “We bought diapers and formula, plus bottles.”
Nodding, she adds, “There’s just a couple changes of clothes in there.”
“Oh. Yeah, I guess we’ll need to pick up a few more outfits.”
She laughs. “Yeah. Sometimes he has a blowout.”
Remembering the mess from the week before when I’d run out of diapers, I nod. “Yeah. I know.”
“Okay. Well, I guess I’ll go.” She caresses Colton’s cheek. “Bye, baby. I’ll see you in a few days.”
Her face is so sad that I reiterate my invitation to stop by if she needs to.
Placing her hand on my arm—something she hasn’t done since we broke up—she softly smiles. “Thank you, Drake. For everything.”
For a moment I’m drawn to her, remembering the good times we had. Then I mentally shake myself. You’re engaged to Ashley. “You’re welcome,” I say with a small smile.
She nods, then she turns and walks towards the front door. With a twist of the knob, the door swings open, but before she leaves, she turns to me and says, “Call me if you need anything, Drake. Anything at all.”
“Yeah. Okay.”
With a final smile, she leaves, closing the door behind her.
Thirty
ASHLEY
When I get back from the store, I find Drake holding Colton. Glad I didn’t have to see Megan—I hate the reminder that another woman is tied to Drake in such an intimate way—I set the groceries on the counter, then sit beside Drake.
“Did you show him his new crib?” I ask as I stroke Colton’s little hand.
Drake laughs. “No. Should I have?”
“Of course. I’m sure he’d like to see all the new things you bought him.”
“Speaking of new things, we’re going to need to get him some clothes. Megan only brought a couple of outfits.”
“Oh. Right.”
“Maybe we should get some today,” he says. “Since we’ll be pretty busy with work during the week.”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” I smile to show I’m game with spending my entire weekend caring for a baby that’s not mine. “You can try out the car seat.”
“Good idea. I just fed him, so we should probably go now.”
Ten minutes later, Colton’s strapped into Drake’s truck and we’re on our way to a nearby clothing store. Once there, we place the car seat in a shopping cart and begin picking out clothes that we hope will fit him. Evidently Colton doesn’t like to shop, because after only a few minutes he begins fussing. Wanting to show Drake that I’m in this with him, I take the baby out of his car seat and gently bounce him in my arms while Drake picks out clothes.
“What a cutie,” a woman says to me. “How old is he?”
I turn and face her. “Three months.”
Her gaze goes between Colton and Drake. “He looks so much like his father.”
I force a smile. “I know.”
“He reminds me of my son when he was a baby.” Her expression turns serious. “They grow up so fast. You should enjoy your baby while he’s small.”
He’s not my baby!
Drake steps forward. “Thanks. We’ll make sure to remember that.”
She smiles, then walks away.
My chest is tight and my throat is clogged with tears. “You take him,” I murmur as I hand Colton to Drake. Then, without another word, I walk away and pretend like I’m searching for the perfect outfit. All the while, my mind rages.
This is so unfair. Two weeks ago my life was perfect—my fairytale had come together and my biggest worry was spending too much of Drake’s money on my wedding gown. What an idiot I was to think that was something to spend even a second fretting over.
Now we have all these changes in our lives—a baby, Drake’s former girlfriend a permanent part of our lives, joint custody arrangements. This really sucks. Yet, Colton is adorable. There’s no denying that. I like him. He’s a mini-Drake.
So what’s wrong with me? What am I feeling?
I sort through the racks of tiny baby clothes and examine what’s going on in my heart.
If Colton was a baby we were adopting, that would at least be something we would be doing together. But he’s not. He’s Drake and Megan’s baby. He has no connection to me. None.
That’s when I realize what I’m feeling.
I’m completely disconnected from this, from the family Drake and Megan have created. I’m the third wheel, the extra spoke, the extra baggage. I’m the one thing that’s not like the others.
Distress and sadness weigh me down, and my arms drop to my sides as I stare unseeingly at the baby clothes all around me.
I’m not part of this at all.
“Are you okay?” Drake says as he comes up behind me.
My back is to him, and I realize tears have filled my eyes and are about to overflow onto my cheeks. Using my fingers, I wipe away the moisture, then blink a few times to try to clear away the evidence that I’m upset. “Yeah,” I murmur.
“I think we have enough stuff,” he says with a soft laugh.
Avoiding his gaze, I turn around and survey the shopping cart, which holds a thick layer of baby clothes. “Yeah, I think we’re good.”
Placing a finger under my chin, Drake lifts my head so that I’m forced to meet his gaze. “It’s okay that you’re upset,” he says. “You don’t need to hide it from me.”
I look at him standing there, so damn handsome, holding his adorable baby boy, and wonder how I can get past the way I’m feeling. Drake’s stepping up as a father and taking responsibility for the consequences of his actions. I should be overjoyed that he’s proving to be such a good father—and I am. But any joy I feel is tempered by the fact that another woman will be part of our lives—forever. That my life will be altered, forever.
Pasting a smile onto my mouth, I nod. “Okay.”
Using his free hand, he tugs me against him and kisses me. “We’re in this together. We’ll figure it out.”
Nodding, I let his certainty warm me as I lean against him.
Thirty-One
ASH
LEY
I help Drake put all of the clothes away while Colton lies in his new crib.
“He seems to like it,” Drake says as he gazes at his son.
“I knew he would,” I say with forced cheerfulness. “You chose a nice one.”
Chuckling, Drake wraps me in his arms. “And you helped pick it out.”
Savoring the love emanating from him, I sink against him and try not to think about all the potential obstacles to our happiness.
“What do you think about trying out the new stroller later?” he asks. “It should be cooler this evening.”
“Sure.”
Later that evening we set out on a walk. Colton is content, so we walk for quite a distance.
“Hey,” Drake says. “Check out that house.”
I look where he’s pointing and see a For Sale sign planted in the front yard of a large, newer-looking house.
“Let’s see if there’s a flyer,” he says.
We cross the street, and as we approach the house, I take in the over-sized front yard, the multiple windows across the front of the house, and the welcoming front porch.
Drake lifts a flyer out of a box attached to the For Sale sign post and holds it where I can see it.
“Four bedrooms, two and half baths,” he says. “And the pictures of the inside look good.” He smiles at me, excitement etched on his face. “What do you think?”
His excitement is contagious. “I like it. But what about the price? Is that what you had in mind?” I’m a little shocked by how much it is.
“Yeah,” he says without hesitation. “That’s exactly what I had in mind.” His gaze goes to the sides of the house. “The view from the back looks fantastic. I can see the golf course.”
I laugh. “You do like your views.”
He turns to me with a grin. “Yes, I do.” Eyes sparkling, he says, “I’m going to call and see if we can take a look inside.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “Now?”
“Why not? If they want to sell it, they’ll accommodate us.”
Twenty minutes later a real estate agent is letting us into the vacant house.
“The owners have already moved,” the man says. “Go ahead and look around. I’ll wait out front.”
“Okay,” Drake says. Colton is in his arms and I walk beside him as he goes from room to room. We stop in the master bedroom and he grins. “His and her closets, Ashley.”
I laugh. “Nice.”
Back in the living room, he gazes out the floor to ceiling windows that overlook a golf course. “I think this house is perfect. What do you think?”
“This is the only one we’ve looked at.” It’s beyond my experience to find a house I love and then just buy it.
“Doesn’t matter,” he says. “This one feels right to me. We could look at hundreds more, but—” he turns to me with a smile. “This is the one.”
I feel it too. It feels like home. My smile matches his. “Yeah.”
“Hear that, baby boy,” he says to Colton. “This is going to be our home.”
As I watch him interact with his son, warmth spreads throughout my chest, and the distraught feeling I had while shopping is replaced with calm.
“Let’s talk to that agent,” Drake says. “If the owners have already moved, they’re probably motivated to sell.”
I’m glad he’s handling this, and I’m completely confident in his ability.
DRAKE
I make an offer on the house, and when the agent tells me he’ll talk to his clients and get back to me, I tell him the offer is only good for twenty-four hours and that I want a short escrow. Confident that this is going to work, I walk with Ashley back to our house. By the time we reach home, Colton has begun to fuss.
“Time to eat?” I ask as we walk inside. Surprised at how much I’m enjoying this fatherhood gig, I turn to Ashley, and with an uncertain smile, I say, “We’ve never discussed how soon we want to start our family.”
ASHLEY
My eyes widen slightly at his comment. “What are you suggesting?”
Softly chuckling, he walks into the kitchen. I follow, and since he’s holding Colton, I offer to make the bottle.
“See?” he says as I measure out the formula. “You’re good at this baby thing. How do you feel about having a baby together? Yours and mine?”
The idea that the baby he would be holding would be my child sends a powerful jolt of belonging through me, of connection to him. The feeling is so opposite of the way I felt earlier that tears rush into my eyes. To get my emotions under control, I inhale deeply, then slowly release my breath. “I like it.” Then I laugh. “How soon are you talking about? I mean, you’re just starting to get the hang of this.”
His head tilts as his eyebrows rise. “I don’t think we should wait too long to give Colton a brother or sister, do you?”
When I think of having a child in those terms—as a sibling to Colton—I don’t want to wait too long either. I love both of my brothers and I love the idea of having a child with Drake. Giving Colton a sibling would just be a bonus. Still, I don’t want to rush into having a child. “We should at least wait until we’re married.” Give us time to make sure this is going to work out.
Nodding, Drake takes the bottle from me, and cradling Colton with one arm, he begins feeding him. “Yeah, you’re right.” His smile grows. “We can start trying as soon as we’re married.”
I laugh at his eagerness. But the idea of having a baby that’s a product of our love thrills me.
Thirty-Two
DRAKE
When I drop Colton off at his new daycare the next morning, I find I’m reluctant to leave him. He’s so small and helpless. Surprised at myself, I smile at the woman who assures me they’ll take good care of him.
“You’re welcome to call anytime,” she says as I hand him over.
“Thanks.”
Once I’m sitting at my desk, I force my mind to the projects on my plate, but find my thoughts going to Colton. It’s weird to me how much I’ve already grown to care for the little guy. Well, maybe not weird. More like surprising. I never pictured myself so into being a dad.
Mom would be pleased.
I smile, then feel a burst of sadness that she’s not here to enjoy being a grandmother. I think of the conversation I had with my dad the evening before when I let him know that Colton is my son. Since I’d already told him of the possibility, he wasn’t surprised by my announcement. And though he again expressed concern over the situation, he said he would support me.
Grateful for a good father, I know I want to be as good a dad to Colton—and all the children Ashley and I have—as my father has been for me. Thinking of Ashley and her shocked reaction to my question about when we should start a family, I hold back a laugh. I hope she knows how much I want to have children with her.
During my lunch break, I can’t help myself. I drive to the daycare center for a surprise visit. When I see one of the workers holding Colton in her arms and lovingly rocking him, my concerns recede.
“Do you want to hold him?” she asks.
My heart warms as I take him from her and I wonder if Megan’s thoughts are on our son. I should call her. Just to let her know he’s doing fine at the daycare place.
Before I drive back to the office, I call her.
“What’s wrong?” she asks in place of Hello.
Slightly irritated that she’s assuming there’s a problem, I frown. “Nothing. I just wanted to let you know that Colton’s doing fine at the daycare center. I stopped by to see him on my lunch break.”
“Oh. Okay. Thanks for letting me know.”
She asks a number of questions about the place, then we hang up and I head to the office.
In the middle of the afternoon I receive a call from the real estate agent letting me know the seller accepted my offer. Thrilled, and feeling like everything’s coming together, I decide to wait until I get home to tell Ashley the good news.
ASHLEY
“
Really?” I say when Drake tells me the house is ours. “That’s great.” Colton is napping in his room, and Drake and I are enjoying some time alone.
“I called the real estate agent I used when I bought this house and told him I want him to list it,” he says. “We should close on the new place in just a few weeks.”
The idea of moving into a house we picked out together—one where his former girlfriends never visited—makes me happy.
The next day at work I get a text from Emily asking if I want to come by that evening and catch up. I immediately agree—so much has happened and I’ve been so busy with Drake and Colton that I haven’t had a chance to talk to her. I let Drake know my plans, and then I focus on work.
When I get to Emily’s that night, I curl my legs beneath me on the couch and ask her how things are going.
Laughing, she says, “Things are going fine for me. It’s you I want to talk about. What’s going on with the whole baby daddy issue?”
Where to begin? Momentarily closing my eyes, when I open them I see Emily steadily watching me. I draw in a breath before saying, “Colton is his baby.”
“No kidding?”
I shake my head. It’s all too certain.
“Wow.” Looking around the room as if an answer might be hidden in a corner, Emily is silent. Finally she turns to me. “Now what?”
“Now we’re going to buy a new house.”
Her mouth falls open. “A new house?”
“Yeah. Drake’s going to have joint custody, so we need more room.”
“Joint custody?”
At her reactions, I can’t help but smile. I know it’s a lot to take in, and I’m glad to have someone to talk to about it. Someone who’s not involved.
Tucking her legs underneath her, she asks,“So the baby’s going to be at your house half of the time?”
“Yup. In fact he’s there now. Megan dropped him off on Sunday.”
Drake and Ashley: The Complete Story Page 58
