by Liann Snow
"I don't like to interfere with Fate. The mysterious ways of Eros."
"Maybe you should have."
"You might be right, Faith. I'm not sure. Please, will you do something for me on your next day off?"
"That'll be tomorrow. What?"
"Will you come and see me at the flat?"
"You want me to?"
"Please."
"What time?"
"About twelve. Would that be convenient?"
"It can be."
"Thank you. I do appreciate it."
~ ~ ~
What's going on? Is Joan going to be there? We didn't even mention her name. I don't think I would want to see them both together. I should think I've got a right to see my sister-in-law if I'm invited, though. I can't see how that would be wrong. Why do I feel guilty?
Thursday, March 24
"I want to know what right you think you had to tell Joan about my mother."
"I only told her the truth."
"What right did you have to get involved?"
"I thought she had a right to know."
"You shouldn't poke your nose in. You don't know the result of doing that kind of thing."
"I didn't realise you'd asked me here to complain about my behaviour, Eva. I didn't expect to be shouted at."
"What did you expect, Faith?"
"I don't know. Not this."
"You think I'm being a bit harsh. Maybe I am. Look, d'you want a drink? Sorry, I should have said before. Didn't think..."
"I don't drink that much. Anyway, I'm going now."
"You had a drink with me the other day."
"That'll do me for weeks. Thanks anyway."
"So, you only drink on special occasions. Christmas, weddings and funerals, visits to gay bars, reunions with long-lost sisters-in-law. Is that all? Come on, Faith, there must be something that does it for you! If it's not drink, what is it? Dope? Coke?"
"No, nothing. I'm not an addict."
"Oh, you aren't? You needn't be so smug. There's always something, a trigger for everyone. Maybe you don't know what yours is yet. What fun you'll have finding out! Will I be there when you do?"
"You will not!"
"Don't suppose I will. Pity."
"I can't keep up with your moods, Eva. I shouldn't have come."
"Why not? You're not being loyal to Joan, I hope. She's not being loyal to you."
"Don't be silly Eva, it's not like that. No one's possessive of anyone else."
"People are different with different people."
"That's true."
"How would you be with me?"
"I have no idea."
"Would you like to know?"
"I don't need to."
"You only do what you need to do?"
"Sometimes it's best. Look, Eva, I don't want to talk like this."
"You must have been really horny for Joan. You must have needed her. Needed it with her. I can imagine that."
"I wish you wouldn't."
"All right, I won't Faith. I'll respect your privacy. I won't imagine you fucking with Joan. Not yet, anyway. Later perhaps, when I'm alone."
"I'm going now."
"It'll be sooner rather than later that I let my thoughts run free."
"As you like."
"Goodbye for now, Faith. I think you'll be back."
"You won't be here."
"I may be. Come call on me, when you've half a day to spare. I'll take time off specially."
"Don't hold your breath!"
"I might. You never know."
"You're crazy and I'm leaving.
"Till next time."
Friday, March 25
Oh, my God! Now what do I do? I went through work today like a sleepwalker. I've got to pull myself together. I'm sure Pearl was talking to me and I didn't answer. I caught her looking at me very strangely.
Eva's got a nerve! How dare she treat people that way, and then take it out on me as if I'm rocking the boat or something. Why should I feel guilty about telling Joan or for sleeping with her? She's a grown up person, she can make her own decisions.
Don's off again tonight and I'm going to the club tomorrow no matter what! If I see Joan, I do; if I don't, I don't. I'll just take it as it comes.
= CHAPTER 8 =
Saturday, March 26
God! She's a different woman! Came in, came straight over and bundled me out of there like an angry parent. She is angry, I can feel it – but not with me. With Eva?
"Joan, what's wrong?"
"Nothing. Can't stay there! Can't stand the place."
"I thought you liked it. I quite like it. Still, I don't mind. Where are we going?"
"Home, of course. Damn these stairs! Bad enough when I'm sober."
"Shall we get a bus, Joan? Cabs cost so much."
"Don't worry. I've got money. No problem."
"I'll pay part."
"I'll pay, I said!"
"All right, Joan. As you like. Is she calling us a cab?"
"Yeah. She knows the drill. It's what she's paid for."
"Well, I hope we don't have to wait. It's draughty in this passage. Wish they'd shut that door."
"It's so we won't miss the cab. It'll be here soon. Look, come here! I'll warm you up." She folded me in her arms – surprisingly strong for such a small person.
Oh, she smells a bit of beer. It's not that bad, though. Hope she doesn't kiss me – not in front of the doorwoman. She's glaring a bit, as it is – probably jealous. Nice and warm now, though.
Sunday, March 27. AM.
She had been unexpectedly heavy, and beery too. So now I know I don't like the smell of lager on a woman any more than on a man. Still, she was nice, just like before. And better in the morning, and cleaner. And after she'd cleaned her teeth, she didn't smell at all.
I was pleased when she climbed back into bed with me, even though we fell immediately into heavy conversation. Turned out she'd been drinking before she got to the club. She hadn't meant to go to the club anyway. Just found herself there. "Faith, I know this is going to sound stupid. But I wanted to believe her. She blamed it all on you, she said she didn't know you; she said you lied about her mum – "
"I know the name of her husband. That proved it!"
"Yes, but I didn't! She never told me. You could have made it up."
"You could have tested her with that –"
"I wasn't trying to test her. I'd just had a big shock. When you love someone and you find out they lied to you it's a shock. You want reassurance from them. You want to trust them again. You don't want to test them."
"If I found out Don lied to me, I'd have his guts for garters!"
"You don't love him, then."
"I'm not a masochist, Joan. That's all I know. No one walks all over me and gets away with it. It's like a contract, no one should break it. If they do, that's it!"
"You say that, Faith, but – anyway, she said I could go with her to Manchester, well she sort of said, and then just left as usual as if nothing had happened. That really hurt. That's why I went up the pub."
"Why not the Scene?"
"I told you, I was avoiding you 'cause I thought you'd make me see she is telling horrible lies to me."
"Is that why you didn't phone me or come to my party?"
"She told me you were mad and a troublemaker."
"She's telling me awful things now, too."
"Oh, no! Don't tell me you're seeing her on the sly! Fucking get out, Faith! Get out of my bed!"
She virtually tipped me on the floor. I couldn't believe it. "You're the one that's mad, Joan. You're both bloody mad."
"Why don't you fuck bloody off, then. You are a bloody troublemaker!"
"Don't blame me, Joan. None of this is my fault. I've never lied to you!"
She was sitting up in bed staring at me, her teeth clenched and her eyes popping. I gave up any attempt at reason.
"I'm going!"
"Bloody go! Who cares? Don't go sniffing around Eva again or you'll regret it."
<
br /> "I'll do what the fuck I like. You can't run my life and nor can anyone else!"
"Watch your bloody step, mate!" Joan snarled viciously.
"You watch yours!"
All the time this exchange was taking place I was jamming myself into my jeans, cramming my feet into my shoes, as fast as I could. Everything seemed to have shrunk overnight, to at least a size too small, but at last I was decent.
Then, with my socks and knickers in my pocket and one arm in my coat sleeve, I hurtled up the hall and out the door, with Joan stumbling red-faced after me. Fortunately, she was naked and it was cold, otherwise she might have pursued me down her pretty little road onto the High Street and all the way to my house.
~ ~ ~
Sunday, March 27. PM.
"Hi Joan, how you doing?"
"All right. Nice journey?"
"Fine. What's up with you, though? You don't look well."
"I'm all right. How's your mum?"
"Worse."
"Sorry to hear it."
Eva looked gloomy. "It's awful seeing her like that. She's not the woman she was."
"She's still your mum."
"That's right."
Sunday, March 27
At the same time, less than a mile away, at Faith and Don's terraced house; Don comes in looking tired and drawn.
"Hi, Faith. How are you?"
"Hallo, Don."
"Good weekend?"
"Yep."
"What did you do?"
"Nothing. How's Phil?"
"My big brother? He's as usual. No change."
"Nothing to report there?"
"No. Why? He hasn't phoned has he?"
"Why would he if you've just seen him?"
"Well, he wouldn't would he? That's what I mean, if he did, it would be an emergency. So naturally I was worried, when you implied he phoned."
"I didn't mean to imply that, Don. I'm sorry if I worried you. Come on, let's have a cup of tea. I'm tired, even if you're not."
"Oh, I am, Faith. Sometimes I'm not sure I can take the strain."
"All that traveling."
"Yes."
"It would have to be worth it, Don."
"At one time definitely, Faith, but now I'm not so sure. Perhaps I need a change of pace."
"Tired of football, Don. Must be getting old."
"A bit harsh, Faith. But still, I am tired."
"Probably need a holiday. I expect that's all it is."
"You're probably right."
Monday, March 28. PM.
Faith is on the telephone in the hall by her front door. She is nervous because Don could come in at any minute. This is one call he must not overhear.
Phil says, "If you'd kept in touch, you'd have known he never stayed overnight with me; that was just something he told you. Oh, I offered… of course I did, he's my brother. But then I got fed up with being refused every time.
"He said he wanted to be with the crowd, you know – the other supporters. Bunch of louts, best avoided I would have thought, but that was part of the buzz, he said.
"I did always think it unfortunate he couldn't have stayed true to Tottenham as it were, nearer to home and all that, but I supposed he had his reasons, though it did seem odd to switch teams suddenly like that. I suppose, like you Faith, I had assumed it to be a lifelong commitment, a bit like marriage or Radio Four. I was wrong about marriage as well, wasn't I?
"Of course I never challenged him on it! Why should I? I didn't even see him most times he came up, certainly not to talk to. If he came at all he rushed in, rushed out, just taking time out from his busy schedule to say hello to me.
"It all seemed a bit excessive, him having to come up for every home game, driving all that way, paying out all that for hotels, driving all that way back again. But then I'm a fishing man, different thing altogether.
"I never guessed what might be behind it. I'm afraid I took it at face value, much as you did, Faith. But then I'm the trusting sort. I suppose I must have vaguely seen it as one of Donald's more madcap schemes. He always had something on the go, even as a child, usually something that didn't bear close examination. Quite often I have been obliged to get him out of trouble over the years, but surely I don't still have to be my brother's keeper do I? Not at our advanced ages.
"And, as for Eva, well I'm sure she'll get more mileage out of either of you two than she will out of me, these days anyway. I'm not the nostalgic sort I have to say, and any feeling I had for her withered on the vine rather a long time ago.
"I assume you are quite sure of your facts, Faith?"
"No, I'm not Phil, I must admit. This call to you is part of the fact-gathering phase, you might say."
"So, it might be coincidence."
"The Manchester connection? Certainly. What do you think though, Phil?"
"Let's just say, Faith, I would put nothing past either of them."
"You think they are capable of such sustained deception?"
"Separately and together. Without a doubt."
"Oh."
"What's your next step?"
"I'll play it by ear, Phil. See what happens."
"Don't swim out of your depth, Faith, will you?"
"I'm unsinkable."
"Hope so. Call me if you need me."
"I will. Thanks Phil, and, I'm sorry."
"You've done nothing wrong. It's not your fault. Don't let them shift the blame."
"I understand. Goodbye, Phil. I'll be in touch."
Faith replaces the receiver just as Don's key turns in the lock.
Tuesday, March 29
Just before closing time, Eva appears at the shop. Faith tries to seem relaxed, although she highly anxious and almost afraid of Eva.
"Please come round after work. I've got a surprise for you."
"I can't come, Eva. If you'd come yesterday – I have to get straight back tonight."
"Please, please come. I need to see you. I couldn't come yesterday. It's tonight I need to see you. Tonight or never! I desperately need your womanly wisdom. The benefit of your excellent advice."
"I honestly can't come, Eva. I have to finish up here and be in before Don gets home, like I said. I'm making something special to eat tonight."
"Wonderful. He's a lucky man, but still, I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't vitally important. Can't you do both? You could, if you leave early. What about Pearl, couldn't she cover for you? Why don't you ask her? I'm sure you would do the same for her in an emergency."
"What's this, Faith?" says Pearl just then, unashamedly jumping into the conversation. "If it's a family problem I can help out, I really don't mind. Go ahead both of you, I can finish up here. I don't suppose we're going to get a sudden rush on, are we? And I hardly think Owen's going to show his face in here again this evening. Off you go now. Just leave it to me. Quickly Faith, change out of your overall and go."
"Well, I can't stay long. I could just pop round."
"There you are then. We're all agreed. Let's go!"
~ ~ ~
Eva's car sped past the turning into her road and headed south.
"Are we going to the flat, Eva?"
"As you can see, we're going somewhere else."
Fifteen minutes later they had parked and disembarked outside a tall redbrick block of flats, overlooking a fashionable London square. They entered and ascended several flights of stairs in silence, till Eva unlocked a door.
"My pied-a-terre!" she declaimed as she threw the door open, standing aside for Faith to enter.
"It's beautiful," said Faith.
The furniture was probably Regency, the carpets probably Turkish, the flames of more than a dozen of white candles flickered in reflection in a heavy mirror that was probably antique.
