Ambereye

by Gill McKnight

  “Did she blow your little socks off?” he continued to tease.

  “If I wore socks they’d be in orbit right now and NASA would be calling a press conference.”

  “Trust me, hon.” He wrapped an arm around her and they moved out to the back deck. “These things take time. Your body has been through a lot and you need to remind Jolie of that. You have to take control and make this what you want it to be. Believe me, she’ll follow like a little lamb.”

  Hope snorted. “Yeah. Like that will happen.”

  “She really cares about you, Hope, anyone can see that. And you wouldn’t do this unless you trusted her and wanted her, too, right?” He raised an eyebrow and tried to look stern, brooking no nonsense from her. Hope gave a little half-smile and came clean.

  “Well, you have to admit she’s a big hunk o somethin’ else. And you know how it is now, Godfrey. It was wonderful to have someone like her be attracted to me, especially as I feel so insecure about my looks…my entire self, in fact.” He nodded and let her continue. “And to be honest, I missed my sexual self, and I was never sure if that ole buzz would come back. If I was ever going to have sex again, or even want it. I felt safe with her. She made me feel good about myself.”

  “But what about her? I’m hearing how you feel about you. And it’s all good stuff, hon. Great stuff. But how do you feel about her?”

  “I don’t know about that yet. I like her. She’s gorgeous, and a bomb in bed. Do I need any more than that right now?”

  Godfrey nodded in understanding. But inside he was uneasy.

  He had a suspicion there was a terrible imbalance of expectation and investment between Hope and Jolie already. Tomorrow they would return to the city and normal living. What that turned out to be was anyone’s guess.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Andre hunted Jolie down soon after the meeting ended.

  Godfrey had grabbed him and imparted the news and his view of the situation. After a quick confab Andre was dispatched to find his sister and relay some desperately needed, but subtly disguised advice. He and Godfrey were heading off on their ski trip later that day, and he wanted to catch Jolie before they left.

  “So, you and Hope, eh? For real this time.” He smiled, careful not to sound too jocular, yet show how happy he was for them.

  Jolie’s face scorched.

  “How’d you know?” She was suddenly fearful that she’d been an open book all through the meeting. She’d tried to keep calm and composed, not wanting to steam up every time she looked at Hope. Had she been transparent as glass?

  “Hope told Godfrey, and Godfrey told me, and now I’m gonna hire a big billboard and tell Portland,” he said, swatting her arm. “I’m happy for you, Jolie. I think the world of Hope. And I love the idea of you two being together. Can we talk properly when I get back from vacation?”

  “Sure. I’d like that. I want to ask you some things—”

  “Like maybe how to tell her the Garouls are werewolves?”

  “Some pointers on that might be helpful,” she answered dryly.

  “Tell you what. Hold off till I get back. Go slow. Try wooing her with dinner, and fine wine, and the theater. Do nice things together,” he advised without his usual bossing and fussing. “Remember she’s been through a lot health-wise, so don’t exhaust her. Keep it fun,” he added sternly.

  Jolie nodded enthusiastically. “Sure, fun.”

  Andre gave her a big hug. “It will be all right. Make the emotional connection as strong as the sex and she’ll be your mate for life,” he whispered in her ear.

  “Okay.” Jolie watched him leave as crippling anxiety slid around her, squeezing like a hungry boa.

  “Fun,” she repeated out loud to herself. The word sounded foreign to her.

  “Dad, how did you tell Mom you were a werewolf?” Jolie found her father heading out of the compound and fell into step beside him.

  “Ah, the age-old, universal question.” He smiled contentedly. “It’s a beautiful day. Let’s go for a stroll, sweetheart.”

  They walked along a back track in companionable silence.

  “Hope’s been hurt?” he asked out of the blue.

  “Cancer. She lost an eye. The left one.”

  “Ah, I sort of wondered.”

  “It’s hard to tell. I didn’t realize until she told me.”

  He nodded. “Then it made sense?”

  “Yeah, then it was sort of obvious. Her balance, the way she moves, looks at me. Sometimes she’s very self-conscious, other times I can tell she’s almost forgotten about it. She’s adapting more every day, and coping in a new environment like Little Dip has been a good morale boost, too.”

  He smiled. “So, all the little things added up and began to make sense.”

  She nodded. “Yeah, the little things.”

  “But in the end those things make no real difference because you love her? Isn’t that right?”

  Jolie blushed. “Yeah. I’d love her no matter what. I just want her to be healthy and happy.”

  “Hope’s a clever girl. What makes you think all the little things about you aren’t adding up for her?”

  Jolie was shocked. “You mean she might already know?” Panic flooded her voice. She hadn’t considered this.

  “No,” he said. “I mean she has some of the clues already. She just needs a reference point. Something that will bring it all together and make sense.”

  “A reference point? How can I give her a reference point?”

  “That’s something that will just happen, hon. Some little thing you’ll say or do will have her wondering. When you spot that moment, that’s when you start talking.”

  “Talking?”

  “Yeah. But you can’t just dump it all on the girl. You’ve got to let her start to figure it out for herself. Make it feel like part of a discovery. Make her feel involved and included. It’s all part of the bond.”

  “Okay,” Jolie said, but felt far from okay. She was worried Hope might already have suspicions that meant Jolie would have to react in a calculated and sensitive way. She’d have to make Hope feel part of the secret. Part of what Jolie was—wolven.

  “Come and look at this tree with me. I think it needs to be felled.”

  Her father moved off the track and down into the trees.

  “Why not wait and see if it lasts the winter? Then cut it down next spring if it’s still standing?” She followed him and together they walked on, talking woodsmen talk. It seemed the subject was closed.

  I’ll ask Mom. Somehow Dad made her feel included enough for her to actually become a werewolf like him. Mom will know what it’s like from Hope’s point of view. Yeah, Mom will help.

  Jolie found her mother sitting on the top step of the porch surrounded by seed trays and paper bags. It was late morning and she’d just come back from her walk with her father. Jolie hunkered down beside her to help sort out the seeds and bulbs for spring planting.

  “Mom, how did Dad tell you he was a werewolf?”

  “Ask your father, dear.”

  “I did, he just smiled and told me Hope probably already had a good idea and I was to be prepared with all the answers. But, Mom, I’m not sure what the questions will be.” She watched as her mom sorted seeds into paper packets, labeling each as she went.

  “But you love her enough to want her to know?”

  “God, yes. I want Hope to be in every part of my life.”

  “To feel that way about her, you must be pretty sure of her and how she’ll take the news.”

  That was just it. Jolie was not confident at all. Maybe it was too soon to tell Hope. Maybe she should wait. Keep her away from Little Dip and all these “clues.” Jolie was becoming more and more unnerved by the whole process. She wished there was a pamphlet she could just hand out. “Congratulations on your new werewolf. Please take the time to read this brochure and familiarize yourself with its feeding and grooming habits. Your werewolf comes with a lifetime guarantee. The Garoul family wish
you many hours of enjoyment with our product. If you have any further questions, do not hesitate to call Little Dip quality assurance on—”

  “Here.” Her mother handed Jolie a pencil and a dozen or so packets.

  “What are they?” Jolie twirled her pencil.

  “Look inside.”

  Jolie popped open the envelope and peered in. “I still can’t tell.”

  “Is there a scent?”

  She sniffed. “Nope. Nothing that tells me anything.”

  “My. Guess we’ll just have to plant them and take a chance.”

  “Okay. What will I write then? A question mark?”

  “No. Write, Jolie and Hope, and then the date. That way we’ll always remember this conversation.”

  Jolie shrugged but scrawled the names and the date across the packets. “Why?”

  “Because I want to see what grows between you both. You’ve planted a seed, Jolie. It’s germinating in Hope’s head even as we speak.”

  Jolie felt weak. Now she was planting clues left, right, and center.

  And she felt so unprepared for what she had started. Maybe it was a sort of secret rite of passage each Garoul had to figure out for themselves when they brought a mate into the clan. So far it was going well.

  Everyone seemed to approve of Hope. All Jolie had to do was get Hope to approve of her…for a life-bonded werewolf partner.

  “What are we having for dinner tonight, Mom?” She changed the frightening subject. “I’m in the mood for fish.”

  “Hello? Anyone home?”

  The call brought Hope onto the cabin’s porch. Jolie had gone to see her folks while she had begun the laundry.

  “Connie,” she cried out, delighted. “Come in. It’s wonderful to have you visit.”

  “I was wondering if you’d like to wander up to the studio with me. It’s a lovely afternoon for a short walk.”

  “I’d love to. I think even Tadpole’s up for it.” Tadpole was dancing around Connie, his tail wagging crazily, begging for attention and a quick ear scratch. Connie laughed and bent to oblige.

  “He seems none the worse for his big adventure.”

  “If anything, he seems more confident. He wandered outside this morning and came back in quite happily. Before, he’d never let me out of his sight, and he’d never venture anywhere near the trees. Now he wants to go everywhere with Jolie. She had to sneak away from him this morning.”

  Hope was pleased and bemused at the change in Tadpole. She’d finally slid out of bed and Jolie’s arms that morning to find him contentedly curled up in the crook of a sleeping Paulie’s knees. Tadpole had given her a bleary look and a limp tail wag before settling down for a further snooze.

  “Just let me set the laundry dial and grab a coat.”

  Soon they were wandering along the track to Connie’s studio with an excited Tadpole at their heels.

  “If I ever come back here, I’m going to start bird watching. Just looking at these illustrations makes me want to see the birds for myself,” Hope said.

  They had spent the last half hour going over a series of bird illustrations Connie had produced for an ornithology magazine. Hope loved the delicate detail and vivid colors, and had found it hard to believe each and every specimen was a native of the valley.

  Connie laughed. “Good, that’s what the magazine’s all about. And you’ll definitely be back. Time and again.”

  “I really hope so. I love it here.” Her answer drew a strange look from her host.

  “So, how long have you known Jolie?” Connie asked, handing her a coffee cup.

  “I’ve known Jolie longer than she remembers. I’ve been a friend of both Andre and Godfrey for many years. In fact, I’ll go so far as to claim to be their matchmaker. I met Jolie several times at different social events before Ambereye even started, but was obviously instantly forgettable in those days. It’s only recently, since we started working together, that she even notices I’m alive.”

  “Really? I’d hazard a guess she not only knows you’re alive but counts every breath you take.”

  Hope blinked in surprise. “Oh? Well, until she saw me as an effective assistant she never paid me the slightest bit of attention. I had to buy her pastries to bribe her to share her work diary.”

  Connie hooted with laughter.“That sounds so like her. You haven’t been together very long, then.”

  “Not even forty-eight hours,” Hope answered honestly. She felt shy at her revelation. Connie blinked in surprise, so Hope rushed to explain.

  “Andre got into the mix, and somewhere along the way Claude and Patrice thought we were a couple rather than just work colleagues.”

  “Ah.” Connie nodded. “But that’s not the case now.”

  “No. We’ve moved along since arriving here.”

  “That can happen in a place like this. It’s magical. What do you make of the Garouls and the valley?”

  “I’m very happy to have made the acquaintance of both.” Hope smiled warmly. “Jolie has a wonderful family. And I can see they love and support her as much as she deserves.”

  “She’s the quietest of them all. I remember her growing up as if it was yesterday. We always thought it was because Andre was such a show-off. You know how it is with twins. But now I believe it’s because Jolie is an observer of life. She rarely jumps in. I’m glad she met you. I don’t think you’ll let her sit back and watch the years waste away. Somehow I think you’re the type to grab life by the scruff and shake every last ounce out of it. You’ll be good for her.”

  “I’ve always tried to be—at work, I mean.”

  Hope was a little overwhelmed; they’d only slept together once and she felt married off. She wished Godfrey was still around. She could have talked to him about it. He always had time to listen and gave the best advice.

  “The thing with the Garouls, Hope, is you never get quite what you think you will. They really are something else.” Connie smiled at her with such warm confidence Hope felt her stress float away and evaporate somewhere above her head.

  “Hey, Hope.”

  She was halfway home when Amy called out a greeting.

  “Hello, big boy.” Amy tickled Tadpole, who squirmed at her feet.

  “Hi, Amy. I’ve just left Connie’s. She showed me her work for the bird magazine. It’s fantastic. Do you share that studio with her?”

  “For the moment. But Leone’s building us a cabin with a studio attached. Like Connie’s setup, only bigger. We want to live in it yearround and go up to the city for work only when we have to.”

  “That sounds wonderful. But I would miss the city after a while. I like it here, but I don’t think I could live here all year.”

  “There are a lot of Garouls who think like you. That’s why most of the cabins are for vacation purposes, and only a handful are for yearround living. I know Jolie wants to build here. She’s already got dibs on a lovely spot further up the Silverthread. Get her to take you there sometime. It’s a lovely walk along the river.”

  “Maybe, if we have time.”

  “Oh, she’ll make time. I’m surprised she hasn’t shown you already. Probably too busy with the board meetings and stuff, I guess.”

  “Is it near here?”

  “Maybe an hour along the south river trail. It’s easy to find. It’s been cleared, and she has a sort of fishing shack on it where she and Claude barbecue and have a beer after a day’s fishing.”

  “Where are you going now?”

  “I’m heading up to see Connie. Hey, I’ll catch you later tonight at Claude and Patrice’s.”

  Hope blushed at the reminder. She’d thought it lovely of Jolie’s parents to host a farewell dinner for herself and Jolie. They couldn’t make her feel more special or welcome. The Garouls were truly lovely people.

  Waving good-bye to Amy, Hope hesitated on the track. It was still early afternoon. It wouldn’t be dark for some time. The river winked at her through the trees and she knew she could find the southern trail quite easi
ly. Maybe she should take Tadpole for a real walk. He hadn’t had one for ages. And maybe they could swing by Jolie’s shack. It might be nice to have another little insight to her quiet lover. Lover? A hot flashback from the night before blazed across her mind of Jolie’s tongue lazily tracing the crease under her right breast. Hope could feel her face burn hotter than ever.

  Yes, no doubt about it. A lover. She mulled over the word. She had a lover now. Weighing it in her mind, she tried to get a feel for its balance in her new post-op life. Was there space for a lover? Was this a wise thing to do? She could almost hear her logic falling over in despair at her recent emotional behavior. She’d taken Jolie Garoul as a lover, deliberately so. So why was she slowly freaking out because Godfrey, or Connie, or even Amy, was telling her how great Jolie was, and how wonderful that she was building a cabin, and what a great hideaway this valley was, and…and…

  Claustrophobia crept over her. She took a deep breath. Come on, Glassy. You’ve been around the block. So you got a sexy new lover.

  Okay, so she’s your boss. But you’re going to leave her department in a few weeks anyway, and go back to your old post. So chill. It’s a fling, and you need it. It’s all part of the recovery process, remember that. You are not married to her. This is just fun.

  Her rally speech didn’t really work.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  In the end, curiosity made her lead Tadpole along the Silverthread.

  It was an easy, level trail to walk and the afternoon was bright, the river burbled merrily, and winter birds sang out to one another.

  Hope was enjoying herself.

  She wished Jolie was there with her. Apart from going over documentation before the meetings, a few meals and, of course, fucking until the mattress exploded, they hadn’t done that much together that weekend. Jolie had gone off to see her parents right after Andre and Godfrey left for their ski trip. Now Hope missed her.

  She would have liked Jolie to show her where she wanted to build her own cabin. She was glad Jolie had plans for her future that didn’t involve slaving away at Ambereye until she mummified in her office.