These Starcrossed Lives of Ours

by Linski, Megan

  I avoided breaking the news to Ian. He was enjoying my company more and more, and although it was getting harder to think about leaving everyday I knew that was the exact reason why I had to. Ian was like a brother to me. An annoying, talkative, too adoring and way too protective older brother, and I was getting too close to him. I didn’t do close relationships. The people I had loved in the past had either gotten hurt because of me, or by me. Ian would too. I knew that for a fact.

  The weather was getting warmer. I chose to take a brisk walk just to get some air. Ian would’ve come with me but his allergies were killing him. I suggested he stay home until he got some medication. I was passing by the bar on the street when I glimpsed a familiar face. I skidded to a stop even though my feet should’ve kept on moving, and even though I knew that there was nothing waiting for me in the bar but agony, I was stupid enough to go in there anyway.

  The air was so thick with cigarette smoke that I was surprised anyone could see. It was a cramped place, with a pool table and chairs packed so tightly together that you had to maneuver around each one like a maze. It was packed with big burly men and biker chicks who I should’ve been afraid of, but wasn’t. They were nothing compared to my nightmares.

  And then there, slumped over the wooden bar with drool coming out of his mouth, his legs flailing to support him, was Landon. I wasn’t sure how long he’d been there but his face was so sallow and sunken, it appeared he was drowning.

  He had to have drunk half the bar. An empty shot glass sat in front of him and a beer was tipped over, spilling on his shoe. Even from here I could smell the urine and booze.

  “Another. Please,” he begged the bartender, who ignored him. As the man turned his back on Landon he slammed his fist down and exclaimed, “I’m paying! Give me more!”

  “It’s not even five, son. You’ve had too much to drink. Go home.” The man moved to talk to a waiter and Landon seemed to shrink, his head falling onto the counter in defeat.

  He started to crumple to his feet. “Landon,” I said, rushing forward and grabbing him. He was heavy...I could barely support his weight. “Landon, wake up!”

  I placed him gently on the ground and he came around slowly, his tongue slurring around my name. “Christie?” he asked, looking at the ceiling.

  “Landon,” I said, tears coming to my eyes. “What happened to you?”

  Landon started sobbing as he coughed out words. “What hasn’t happened to me? Everything’s ruined. I’ve lost my mind!”

  “Landon, you need help,” I said. Surely this bar had a phone...I needed Ian. I needed him right now. “Let me take you back to my apartment. You can rest there and...”

  “The hell for all the good it’ll do!” he shouted, and several people looked our way. “I’m done for no matter where you take me! Just get me back to Ann Arbor!”

  “What’s going on? Just tell me Landon!” I said, falling to my knees and cradling his head in my arms. “Maybe we can work something out.”

  “You couldn’t work anything out with her when you were there. I can’t either.” He sniffed and it didn’t take me a minute to guess whom he was talking about. “But you had it easy compared to what she’s having me do. If I mess up once, just once...”

  “Landon, leave her!” I said loudly. “It’s not worth it! She’s using you!”

  “I don’t care,” he said, and he started shaking his head over and over again. “I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care!”

  “Well I do!” I said sharply. “Now get on your feet, you drunk!”

  With no small effort I wrenched Landon to an upright position. “Start walking,” I said. “We’re getting you out of here.”

  He did so, tripping over his own feet. I decided to drag him, my muscles straining against his weight. No one bothered to ask if I needed help. Few even bothered to watch.

  As we neared the door Landon suddenly broke into maniacal, uncontrollable laughter. “What’s so funny?” I hissed, struggling to breathe.

  He continued laughing, and his eyes got even more mad than I was used to. “Everyone’s too scared to do it. I’m the only one brave enough,” he said. “They’re muttering that I’m crazy but when they’re all dead and Annabelle’s with me they’ll be the crazy ones for not doing what she said.”

  “What does she have you doing?” I asked.

  “Something dangerous,” he said, eyes popping out of his head. “And once it’s done and over with Annabelle will be in love with me forever. When I do this perfectly she’ll take me back, I know it. Ha ha...”

  He was spouting nonsense. “Take you back?” I grunted, finally getting him out the door and into the fresh air.

  Being outside seemed to do him some good. He gained more coordination and the weight on me lessened. “When you left she started dating me,” he said nostalgically. “But then she broke up with me after I messed up the job the last time. Now I know better. I’ll do better this time.” He smiled crookedly.

  Typical Annabelle, to run out and find a replacement when her toy went missing. His words hurt me more than he could possibly realize, but as far as Landon knew I was over her long ago. By this point in my life it had become easy to act like she meant nothing to me. I opened the door of my car and shoved him in, buckling him in halfhazardly and then cruising down the road at a speed that was prohibited by all those who drove in Manchester.

  “I’ll take you to the mall but no further,” I said. “You’re going to have to walk back to her, if you’re really that dumb.”

  “You’re a true friend, Christie,” he hummed. Any minute now he would pass out.

  “Stay awake!” I barked, punching him in the shoulder. My efforts were useless. He was sleeping.

  Driving to Ann Arbor cost me more gas money than I would’ve liked but I owed Landon for getting me out of the cult in the first place. He finally woke up about twenty minutes later, his head banging against my window. People in Ann Arbor didn’t know how to drive, and it was nearing rush hour which meant pandemonium for all who chanced driving in the city. My fingers tapped the steering wheel with impatience at every stop. The lights here would have you sitting forever for no reason, and the longer it took the more worried Ian would get. I didn’t want him calling the cops to look for me so I made sure to floor it and cut a few people off on my way to the mall in true Ann Arbor driving style.

  “End of the line,” I said as I stopped at the mall. “Get out.”

  Landon opened the door and tumbled out of it. I sighed as he got to his feet. “You got enough money left for a bus ticket?”

  He hiccuped and nodded his head. “Just enough. Thanks again Christie. I owe you one.”

  “If you really owe me one then you’ll do me a favor and get away from Annabelle,” I said. “Look what she’s doing to you.”

  Landon backed away from the car, that crazy smile on his face again as he spread his arms out wide. “That’s where you’re wrong, Christie. With her, I’m everything. Without her...well, I’m nothing.”

  Chapter Eight

  Christine

  I didn’t see Landon again after that. I didn’t know why he had come to Manchester that day, but figured that he was looking for me. He had obviously started drinking when I wasn’t to be found...overall I saw it as a large cry for help. But if Landon wasn’t willing to slip away from Annabelle’s clutches, there was nothing I could do for him besides watch him walk into the same trap that I had fallen into. I couldn’t...wouldn’t...help him so easily next time. Anybody who cared about Annabelle that much was a ticking time bomb, and was prone to go off any minute.

  I just hoped that when he blew up, I wouldn’t be in his path of destruction.

  Although the next day, when Ian asked me a question that completely threw me off, I was wondering if he wasn’t trying to kill me too.

  “Will you come to church with me?” he asked out of the blue, looking up from the board where we’d been playing checkers once more.

  I instantly kinged my
own checker and sat back, crossing my arms. “Ian, I thought we went over this months ago. No.”

  “We didn’t know each other very well back then,” he said quickly. “We’ve been living together for nearly six months now. I want to show you more of my world.”

  “And I would like to show you more of mine, if mine contained anything of decency to show you,” I said back.

  “My mother has been talking. She thinks it’d be nice for you to come over and start spending some time with Miracle,” Ian said slowly. “She’s been trained to ride and they need help working her. You’re the only one she trusts. If you come to church with me, I promise I’ll give you lessons on how to ride her.”

  I scowled. “Blackmail,” I growled.

  “Better than nothing,” he said happily. “I’d take you during the week, but honestly between the two of us there’s no time. Sunday is the only day both of us have nothing to do. You don’t even have to act like you’re interested. Just come with me. It’s important.”

  I was silent. “I’ll pay for skating up at the ice rink once every two weeks, too,” he threw out to sweeten the deal.

  I ground my teeth. He posed a hard bargain. What was an hour of my free time, right? It wasn’t like after what I’d done, church was going to change me. “Deal,” I said.

  He had been victorious in the battle, but the war was still on. Like he understood the difference. “Done,” he grinned. We continued playing the game, him in eager silence, me brooding. For the first time ever, Ian won the game.

  I refused to get dressed up that Sunday morning. I knew wherever he was taking me was a place full of judgmental, better-than-me Christians who would take every chance they could to pick me apart the instant I turned away. I didn’t care. It wasn’t like I had to impress these people, like Ian’s parents. I only had to show up and sleep through a boring sermon once a week and I was home free to help train Miracle.

  At least, I hoped I was home free. Every time I thought of church the star around my neck burned. Going to church would be like being a sheep in a pack full of hungry wolves waiting to tear me down. I could hide in wolf’s clothing for a little while, but it would only be a matter of time before one of them would smell me out. Murderers didn’t go to church.

  “Ready to go?” Ian said, looking at me from under his newly bought fedora as I got into the car.

  “Where did you get that?” I asked, shaking my head.

  “The mall. I don’t know...I thought it looked cool. You don’t like it?” He hung on my opinion eagerly.

  “You look very cute,” I confirmed. “Totally a fashionista.”

  “I’m taking it off if that’s what it looks like,” he said, reaching for it.

  “No, don’t. It looks very nice,” I stroked his ego. “All the guys will be jealous.”

  “I don’t want the guys looking at me, if you know what I mean,” he smiled. “Enough with the hat. Let’s get going!”

  I watched the spring shoots slowly starting to grow as we whirled down back county roads leisurely, an easy Sunday morning. Nobody got up this early...save for church people, of course...and as I looked out the window I felt that those sleeping in were missing something. The morning was so beautiful today, the sun sparkling through each and every flower and green. It was almost like the world was being reborn.

  The drive didn’t last as long as I would’ve liked. Ian had to struggle to find a parking spot. The building we pulled up to was made of stone brick, with people young and old milling about, the spires of the building rising high above us. Children ran up to the doors, chasing each other and screaming while parents chattered on the sidewalks. Once we got inside I stuck to Ian like glue, fearing I’d get lost in the groups that were amassing the hallway. It wasn’t a cathedral, or an elaborately decorated church, but basically an abandoned office building with posters of Jesus everywhere. Wherever I went people were smiling at me and nodding, welcoming me into their church. I wasn’t fooled...the cult had done the same thing, to trap me in its net. I had to stay aware of their tricks, else I’d be sucked right in.

  When we rounded a corner I saw a small, pale looking redhead skimming a Bible, her back propped up against the wall. Ian jolted to a halt and said, “Christie! I’d like you to meet a good friend of mine, Kara. She’s a med student up at U of M.”

  The redhead looked up from her book and smiled. “Well Ian, is this the famous Christine that we’ve all heard so much about?”

  “He’s been talking about me?” I said, sharply looking at Ian. He threw his hands up and said, “Only because people have been asking.”

  “Don’t lie on Sunday, Ian.” Kara snapped the Bible shut, took one of her hands in mine and said, “I’d say welcome home, but you’re new to all of this. It might take awhile for it to become home to you, but it will. We’re pretty close knit here. If you need anything at any time, when you’re inside or outside these doors, just ask.”

  “Thanks,” I said, clutching her hand in response. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  There was a crash nearby in what I presumed to be the kitchen. A male voice shouted from within and Kara rolled her eyes, saying, “I’m sorry, I have to go unbury my boyfriend Michael. Again. Enjoy yourself here, Christie. And you,” she said, pointing a strict finger at Ian. “You behave!”

  “I ain’t doing nothing!” Ian protested, eyes wide.

  “You’re not doing anything. Not ain’t.”

  “It’s in the dictionary!”

  “I don’t care! Keep him in line, Christie.” And then Kara was off to dig her unnamed mate out from whatever had fallen on him.

  My mouth rose up at the corners. “I think I like her.”

  “Knew you would,” Ian said. “She’s something else. Oh look, there are my parents!”

  In a corner over by the drinking fountain I saw Marjorie and Ahren. Since Christmas Ian and I had visited a few times more, and I had gotten to know them better than I knew my own mom. I felt a bit of relief. At least I knew Ian’s parents were truly happy to see me, and not faking. “It’s wonderful to see you, Christie,” Marjorie said, instantly embracing me. I hugged them both in return and said, “Thank you. Ian finally talked me into coming. I don’t know how, but he did.”

  “A good thing he did, too,” Ahren said happily. “Now we get to see our daughter once a week instead of just on the holidays!”

  I was surprised. “Your...daughter?”

  “Of course dear. Why would we call you anything less?” Marjorie smiled. “We have to go find our seats now, but we’ll see you after the sermon!”

  They both waved goodbye and I stood there, shaking my head. I was nearly overcome with emotion before reminding myself that I couldn’t lose it here, not now. “They truly like me?” I said to Ian softly.

  He smiled. “Very much. Come on now, hurry up slow poke. We’ll be stuck in the back.”

  He led me into the worship-hall-thingy swamped with pews, with nothing more than a projector and a giant cross next to it up front. Instruments from the band were lying around in a corner and a booth was behind us, but that was about it. This place didn’t have very much money, as was obvious. Did it make up in love and hope for what it didn’t have in finances?

  At least Ian hadn’t lead me into one of those mega churches with a gym, two floors and practically a house full of rooms to suit upwards of four hundred people. For that I was grateful. Some people liked the big church thing, but I wasn’t one of them. This place was small. It couldn’t have had more than a hundred and fifty people in its congregation. That was good...I didn’t like crowds. One fear down. But could I handle the rest?

  I glanced into Ian’s eyes and saw he was excited. Ian wouldn’t lead me into something he knew would hurt me, right? Never. I could trust him. Taking a deep breath, I clung to Ian’s arm and he steered me into a pew, where my first church service began.

  Near the end of the sermon I needed to use the bathroom. I whispered to Ian, “I’ll be right back,” and went o
ut the door to find the restroom.

  As I was washing my hands I actually found a smile on my face. Nothing bad had happened as of yet. I could totally do this. I turned off the water, dried my hands and went to go out the door, but before I could a girl around my age blocked my way.

  At first glance, it was hard not to stare. Her hair was dyed about five million different shades of blonde. Her face was painted to perfection, and around her neck a silver cross glittered, her nails manicured and flawless. Every stitch of her long sleeved v-neck sweater, skirt and pantyhose were in place, her long legs drawing even more attention by the four inch heels she wore. But the most shocking thing about her was the color of her skin. It was a bright, beaming orange, spray-tanned beyond belief, as if some child had taken a marker and colored her skin while asleep. Despite the bad tan she looked like a prim-perfect church lady, a virtual orange angel.

  I gave a soft smile at her before I headed out. But before I could the girl wrinkled up her nose and asked in a high-pitched voice, “Who are you?”

  I gaped. I didn’t know a human being had the capability to make such an annoying sound. But I righted myself and said, “Christine Fjord. I’m uh...I’m new. I’m with Ian Rosenthal.”

  “Oh. So you’re the one.” Her eyes narrowed and she looked at me with a disgusted expression.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I said. “And um, not to seem rude, but who are you?” I put my hand on my hip.

  She towered over me as she stood fully upright, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “I’m Tessica Will-Grace, but my friends call me Tess. You, however, may call me Miss Will-Grace.”

  My ears were steaming, but I reminded myself to be nice. “I suppose you can call me Miss Fjord, then.”