Love or Luxury

by Heather Thurmeier

  "Rebecca, stop," he said, cutting her off.

  Great. We're back at Rebecca. I knew it.

  "No, it's okay. I know what I did, and I'm so sorry."

  Finn put his hand on her chin and forced her to look at him. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who's sorry." He paused, staring at her intensely. She wanted to say something to fill the silence but with his hand on her body, all the words in her head disappeared. All she could focus on was his mouth and how he was about to use it to say goodbye when all she wanted was for him to kiss her.

  "After we crashed—after I crashed—I tried to get back to you. I still remember the feeling of your hands slipping from my waist as we wiped out." He shook his head as if trying to dislodge the images stuck there. His voice cracked when he spoke again. "I tried, but I couldn't get back to you. I can't tell you the things running through my head as I crawled through the ditch. I knew right in that moment I cared for you more than I'd realized. And I made a promise to myself I would make sure you knew my feelings if I ever got the chance to tell you."

  He ran his thumb across her lips, leaving them tingling in his wake. "The thought that I'd lost you hurt more than my injuries. I don't think I ever would have forgiven myself if you'd been seriously injured. I don't know what I'd do if I'd lost you."

  Hearing him talk about the accident brought her right back to the first moments after the ambulance had arrived and her worry about Finn—being so scared when no one would tell her where he was, or how he was, or if he was even alive.

  "I've never been so scared," she whispered.

  Scared at the memories of the accident. Scared that even though she knew in her head she could never have the future she wanted with Finn, that her heart hadn't gotten the memo. Scared that in a moment when he said goodbye, she'd be left wondering if she'd ever feel for Reid what she already felt for Finn.

  "I didn't pick you up on my motorcycle tonight because I've put it in storage. I never want to risk another accident with you on my bike. As long as we're together—as long as you'll have me—I promise to always protect you."

  As long as we're together? The thought reverberated in her brain. He still wants to be with me?

  The weight of the worry she'd been feeling all day melted away, replaced by swirls of happiness. He still wanted to date her. He wanted to protect her. God, who was this man who even cared for her enough to put his motorcycle into storage for her safety? How had she been lucky enough to step off the curb and into the path of that very same motorcycle? That day changed everything for her.

  Finn had changed everything.

  As she looked into his eyes, she knew exactly what she wanted—at least right now, in this moment.

  Finn.

  Chapter Twelve

  "I'm ready for bed, Finn." Her voice so heavy in her throat she could barely get the sentence out. She wanted him. Needed him.

  He looked surprised and perhaps a little defeated. Obviously, this wasn't the response he'd been expecting from her. She couldn't help but smile a little at his stunned expression. Boy, he would be really blind-sided in another second.

  He nodded and sighed. "Sure, I can drive you back to your apartment if you're tired."

  It was do or die time. She may never get another chance to live life on the edge like this… to be with Finn this way.

  She didn't know what would happen with Finn and Reid from this point on. And right now, she didn't care. All she knew for certain was how she felt in this moment, right here, right now.

  And right now, she wanted Finn.

  Now wasn't the time to sit and think about everything. Now was the time for action. Rebecca ran her hand up his thigh.

  "Your bed, Finn." Her voice was steady despite her pounding heartbeat. "I never said anything about being tired."

  His eyes widened, flickering down to her hand on his thigh then back up to meet her gaze. "My bed?" He raised an eyebrow at her questioningly.

  She nodded, once again at a loss for words around him.

  He apparently didn't need any more words. Finn scooped her effortlessly into his arms and carried her upstairs to his room at the end of the hall. He set her on her feet at the edge of his king-size bed and tangled his hands in her hair, pressing his lips to hers with a need that matched hers. She moaned quietly, melting into him.

  Yes, this is exactly what she needed—Finn. Only Finn.

  She unfastened each button on the front of his shirt then ran her hands up his smooth, sculpted chest. He may not actually be a construction worker, but he certainly had a body fit for wielding jackhammers and hauling lumber. He could probably bench press her if she asked him nicely enough.

  "This," she said, trailing her fingertips down his broad chest to the crinkle of hair below his navel, "was what I'd been thinking about the other day when I slipped my hands under your jacket. They were cold, and I did want to warm them, but more than that, I wanted to feel your delicious abs."

  "There's nothing stopping you now."

  He stood still while she ran her hands back up his chest and across his shoulders, pushing his shirt down his arms so it fell to the floor. "You're even better than I imagined."

  "You didn't have high hopes for me or what?" he said, his voice still husky with her touch, but now with an undertone of teasing.

  "Oh, my hopes were high after the little teases I'd get while you were driving, but you bare-chested is so much better than I dared hope for." She kissed his chest. He shivered under her as she kissed a path up his throat to find his mouth again. This time when she kissed him, his tongue tangled with hers.

  "I think it's my turn to see if you live up to the images in my mind." He quickly pulled her shirt over her head and unclasped her bra. Cupping her breast in his hand, he flicked his thumb over the tight bud before dipping his head to suck it into his mouth.

  She moaned and clung to his shoulders, worried that if she let go she might melt right into the floor as her knees gave out beneath her. Her head spun as he caressed her body with his mouth and hands.

  When he finally pulled away from her, his eyes were heavy with a desire. "I feel like I've waited forever for you."

  "Then don't wait anymore." Rebecca pulled open the button on his jeans and shimmied them down his hips.

  "Eager little bunny, aren't you?" He laughed as she struggled to free him from his pants which had gotten stuck. "It helps if you unzip the pants before you attempt to rip them off." He pulled the zipper down then let her finish what she'd started. When she'd pushed them to the floor, he stepped out of them.

  "Much better," she said, eying the length of him. Hot damn, the man was hung.

  * * * *

  Finn grew harder under Rebecca's gaze. She had to be the most incredible woman he could ever remember being with.

  And he didn't mean just her looks. Everything about her was amazing. Her smile, her fiery personality, her flirty sense of humor, and most of all, the look in her eye when she'd told him how worried she'd been about him after the accident. He'd seen his own fear staring back at him. He hadn't even realized their feelings for each other had run so deep, so soon.

  But knowing she cared for him as much as he cared for her was as much of a turn on as seeing her standing in front of him half-naked.

  Should be all naked.

  "Your turn," he said, motioning for her to get as naked as he was.

  "You're not going to help?" she asked as she popped the button on her jeans and slowly slid the zipper down. He caught a peek of black, shiny material.

  "You're right; I should help." He batted her hands away and knelt in front of her. Carefully, he edged her pants down her hips, leaving her panties on. He kissed the little triangle of black satin. She squealed and squirmed against him.

  Those are coming off, too.

  Finn hooked the edge of her panties with his fingers and gave it a quick tug down to join her pants pooling around her feet. She pulled one leg free then used the other to kick her pants out of the way.
As she did, he caught her thigh in his hand and nudged himself between her legs, leaving her no choice but to stand with her legs spread.

  He loved feeling her tremble as he kissed his way up her leg to the junction of her thighs. The sound of her gasp as his tongue momentarily flickered across her sensitive skin was almost enough to send him over the edge.

  He kissed up to her belly button before standing, then picked her up, and laid her on his bed. Seeing Rebecca—his Becca—draped across his bed, her red hair a fiery mess of waves across his blankets was something he wouldn't soon forget. Hopefully, he wouldn't have the chance as he'd have her in his bed from now on. Hell, he'd never leave this bed again if he could look at her lying there like that. His.

  Reaching into his bedside table, Finn grabbed a condom before climbing on to the bed to join her. "I could look at you lying here all night."

  "I hope you won't just look. I might self-destruct if you do."

  "I can't have that happening, now can I?" He teased while his hands caressed her body, making her squirm again. She sucked in a quick breath when he found the spot she liked.

  "Finn, stop. I want you."

  "You'll get me soon enough. I wasn't quite finished here yet," he said, making her writhe under his touch again.

  "No. Now."

  He laughed when she pushed his hand to the side and forced him to roll onto her. Finn hovered over her, unable to stop from smiling as he gazed down at her. She certainly knew what she wanted in life—and in the bedroom.

  Well, if she wanted him now, who was he to deny her?

  Finn leaned back on his heels, still between her legs and tore open the condom wrapper, skillfully sheathing his length. Her watching him do it fueled his fire. He ran his hands up her legs and belly as he positioned himself over her.

  Rebecca put her hand on his chest and scrunched up her forehead, suddenly looking at him with an expression of concern.

  "What's wrong?" he asked.

  Maybe she'd had a change of heart. That would royally suck balls.

  She looked like she wanted to say something, but then stopped herself, glancing down his body to where his length waited very impatiently. Then she bit her lip and met his gaze again.

  "What, Becca? Whatever it is, you can say it."

  "I love when you call me that," she whispered.

  "Is that what you stopped to tell me? That you like when I call you Becca?" He nuzzled her neck and he whispered, "I want you, Becca. I need you, Becca. I'm not sure how much longer I can resist you lying in my bed beneath me like this. Tell me you want me to stop, Becca, and I will. But if you want me to go on, then please say whatever it is you need to say, so I can do what I need to do."

  He pulled back a little so he could look at her again, no longer seeing concern. Now he saw a smile play on her lips, and her hand trailed down his chest then came to rest at the base of the condom. "Are you sure this thing is going to fit?"

  "That was your big concern?"

  "Well, it is a big concern. That should actually make you happy to hear. Make you feel extra manly and all that."

  He laughed as she stroked him. "I'm absolutely positive it'll be fine. Now let me prove it to you." He inched into her, savoring each gasp as it escaped her mouth. Resting his forehead against hers, he moved gently, picking up his pace as he went. Her mouth sought his, nibbling on his bottom lip.

  She wrapped her legs around his waist, thrusting her hips to meet his. He couldn't help but groan every time her heat surrounded him fully. As they moved together faster, harder, he kissed her breast. She dragged her hands through his hair, calling out his name as he sucked her nipple into his mouth again and again.

  Rebecca raked her nails down his sides as she clenched around him. He couldn't hold off any longer, finally allowing himself the same release. Then he collapsed onto the bed beside her. He scooped her into his arms and she snuggled in, fitting against him like she'd be made to perfectly fit his body.

  "That… you were amazing," he said, closing his eyes. Did it get any better than this? "I could stay right here like this forever."

  She murmured some unclear response from beside him then fell silent as her breathing became steady and deep.

  * * * *

  Rebecca kissed Finn's bare chest softly before rolling over carefully and getting out of bed. She grabbed a blanket from the bottom of the bed and quickly wrapped it around herself then made her way to the stairs.

  The house was dark and quiet. Tiptoeing cautiously down the stairs, she hoped they wouldn't squeak under her feet and wake Finn. He'd looked so peaceful sleeping. She didn't want to wake him without a good reason.

  At the bottom of the stairs, she ran her hand along the wall, following it in the direction of where she'd seen the kitchen earlier in the evening. They never had gotten around to eating dinner. But somehow it didn't matter. What they had made time for was worth the starvation. What she really needed was a glass of water to rehydrate then she planned to wake Finn in a way he'd find very enjoyable.

  They'd both find it enjoyable.

  After searching a few cabinets, Rebecca found a glass and filled it with water from the tap. She didn't want to rummage through his fridge or pantry looking for bottled. Tap water would suffice. She guzzled down the entire glass then refilled it, this time sipping it as she made her way to the couch in the living room.

  She hadn't checked her e-mail in hours. A quick peek and then she would head back upstairs to the gorgeous man lying in bed.

  As she turned on her phone, Voicemail flashed. She hadn't been expecting any calls. She pressed play.

  "This message is for Miss Rebecca Sanders," a serious-sounding voice said. "I'm sorry to tell you, but your credit card with the Meadow Ridge Credit Union has been suspended until minimum payment is received. Please schedule an appointment with one of our service representatives to rectify this situation…"

  The message went on to leave a number to call at the branch, but Rebecca didn't need to hear it. She practically had the number memorized from all the times she'd been in this "situation" over the last six months. Didn't they know she was doing the best she could?

  She thought back to the payments she'd made recently. Crap.

  She made the line of credit payment, but completely forgot the credit card payment had also been due. With the accident, things had sort of slipped her mind. Maybe they'd take the account off of suspension if she told them about her accident.

  Probably not. They'd never believe her.

  She checked her wallet. Only fifty dollars in cash. She hadn't been to work all week, which meant she hadn't collected any tips all week. Whether Emmett wanted her back tomorrow or not, she was going to force her way into a shift, or she wouldn't have money to pay her bills.

  She'd been holding out for Reid to propose to her and, if his gifts were any indication of his feelings for her, he would ask her soon. But even if he asked, could she really go through with it now?

  The thought of Reid getting down on one knee and asking her to spend the rest of her life with him sat in her stomach like a ball of lead.

  No. She couldn't do it. She couldn't marry Reid. Not after what she'd just done with Finn. But then, where the hell did that leave her?

  What had she done?

  She had started this whole thing with Finn as a way to fool around and have a little fun while she waited for Reid to come home and sweep her off her feet. This was supposed to be fun, not serious. She hadn't intended for things to go as far with Finn as they had tonight.

  But did she regret being with him?

  She thought back to the way he touched her, the way he made her feel like she was the only woman in the whole world. No. Tonight was no mistake. So what was Finn to her then?

  Finn couldn't give her the life she wanted in the Meadow. Reid could. And yet, here she was in Finn's house, in his arms—in his bed.

  The thought of Finn and her together made her smile, but was that enough to give up everything else she'd al
ways thought she wanted to be with him? To give up life in the Meadow? To give up her dream of getting married one day? She looked down at the phone still in her hand and gnawed on the inside of her cheek. If she stayed with Finn, she'd be giving up everything else. All the sacrifices and struggles she'd made over the last six months would have been for nothing.

  Nothing except for one thing—Finn made her happy.

  Hell, she could almost even imagine living in this house with him. It was small and cozy, the fireplace warm and soothing. She could imagine meeting him here after a long day of work and cuddling on the couch in front of the fireplace with take-out and a bottle of wine. With Finn, it could be wonderful.

  She glanced toward the stairs again, her eyes moistening with fresh tears, a smile curving her lips. She would tell Finn about Reid, and she'd find some other way to pay her bills. Then she'd finally be happy—with Finn.

  * * * *

  Finn picked up Rebecca's phone and clicked it to answer the call. She was in the shower and couldn't exactly answer it herself. She wouldn't mind if he picked it up so she didn't miss a call.

  "Hello," he said into the phone, unable to hide the extra dose of sunshine in his voice this morning. It might be early, but it had been an amazing night and containing his good mood wasn't possible.

  "I'm sorry. I must have misdialed. I was looking for Rebecca. My apologies."

  "No, this is the right number. I just picked up for her."

  Silence answered him, then the sound of a throat clearing. "Oh, okay then. Is Rebecca available? I'd like to speak to her about our arrangements for the gala next Friday."

  A gala? A guy calling about their arrangements. What kind of arrangements? Date-type arrangements?

  "She's busy at the moment." Finn held his voice steady, the happiness filling it a moment ago, long gone. "I can pass a message along to her if you'd like."

  "Wonderful. Tell her I'm busy with patients all week, but I'll be there to pick her up next Friday at nine sharp. And to make sure she wears the diamond necklace I bought her. I've been dying to see her in it."