by Lucy Rinaldi
Over the following few days, she was kept in hospital because her body had been through a lot with the birth. I wanted to take her home and take care of her. She had other ideas and went home with her mother. She wanted nothing to do with me. Even though her mother told me to give her time, I knew I'd never see her again. I don't know how I knew, I just did.
Needless to say, her mother called me the next day to say that Autumn had taken her own life. I cried, of course, she was my friend, I loved her in my own way. I'd ruined the beautiful girl she once was, and she ended her own life because of me.
If I'm honest, if I'd have known who the guy was who'd promised her the world, I would have tracked him down and killed him. Because in truth, he was the one who destroyed her by lying to her. He didn't even want to know his daughter. Scumbag!
Charlie was buried with her mommy a week later. Autumn would have wanted that.
“Hudson is just worried about you, Enzo.”
“I know that, Callie, but can't you see I'm fine?” I wince in pain while trying to sit up straighter just as the door opens.
“So, how's the patient?”
Shit!
I close my eyes for a second. God, that voice. That heavenly voice does something to me every time I hear it. When I open my eyes she'll be gone.
Nope, she's still there. Paige Monroe. Little sister of my best friend, best friend to his wife. So, of course, that's a no-no before it even begins. Even thinking about her should be illegal. But she's so fucking beautiful.
The beautiful green-eyed brunette before me is the kind of woman a man would give his right arm to spend one night with. The beautiful pin-up with the tattoos and piercings. I have fought so damn hard for the past six years not to react to her. But over those six years, she's grown into the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She's never made any secret of the fact she wants me, but I could never subject such an innocent creature to a man like me.
“He's being difficult.”
“I am not being difficult!”
My brother snickers.
Prick!
Paige raises her eyebrow with a smirk on her face. “Well, I'm here to take your vitals.” The second her fingertips touch my wrist my whole body goes cold. Shit. Every inch of my body aches, and not just because I've been in a car accident. I know she felt it too because her lips parted and a slight, almost silent gasp escaped her perfect pink lips.
“Do you know what day it is?” She's still holding onto my wrist, even though she doesn't technically need to. Not that I want her to let go. I shouldn't but I can't stop myself from stroking her wrist with my thumb. She swallows hard before asking me the same question again. She's just as affected by me as I am her.
I shouldn't be touching her in any way at all. I shouldn't be letting her see how badly she affects me, my body, my mind, my senses. Everything. Nothing could ever come from she and I. I'm not the kind of man for a woman as perfect as Paige. I am nothing but a walking disaster. So why am I allowing her to think I want her?
Because you do want her, dickhead.
“It's Thursday.”
“Good. What month is it?”
“November. A week before Thanksgiving. My brother and his beautiful wife are hosting their first Thanksgiving dinner. Everyone is invited. But I believe not everyone can make it. Shall I give you a list of those attending?” Yeah, that was totally sarcastic and there's was absolutely not need for it.
“There's no need for that, Enzo. She's just doing her job.”
She looks into my eyes, irritation flashing in hers. She pulls her hand from mine harshly. “It's fine, Sonny. He's not the first patient to be a sarcastic ass. He won't be the last. Just put it down to the bang to his head. But,” she turns her eyes back to me, “I am only doing my job. If you'd rather a different...”
“No,” Oh, hell no, I don't want a different nurse. I should ask for a different nurse because I need to stay away from her. But why does the thought of not being near this girl while I'm stuck in this place fill me with dread?
I can never have her, but I know that I need her. She's always been there for me when I've needed her the most, and all I have ever done is treat her like she's my enemy.
“It's fine. I'm sorry.”
She nods with a smile on her face.
Oh, that smile, it does things to me. Everything about her does something to me.
Why is it I only noticed how badly I wanted her when she got into a relationship with someone else? Years she followed me around. Years she wanted me. Years she didn't even try to hide it from me. Then she met Kyle and it all change. Only then did I realize I wanted her for my own.
Every fucking day I drive by her house hoping I'll get a glimpse of her. I've even parked across from her house one or twice and noticed her silhouette in the upstairs window. God, the images I had inside of my head. Images of her beautiful body, the body of a classic pinup girl, the tattoos that I'd love to take a closer look at while licking her perfect curves and... Stop it!
Getting hard right now is not going to help me in any way. She's with someone else. Someone I fucking hate because I know he cheats on her. I swear to God, one of these days I'll fucking kill that son-of-a-bitch! I've only to see one tear in her beautiful eyes and he's a dead man.
Fuck, my eyes are so heavy. What the hell did she just give me? Whatever it is has turned my body to mush. Everything feels numb yet tingly at the same time.
“That's right, close your eyes.” I can hear her sweet voice in my head.
I hadn't even realized my eyes had closed. But I can feel my eyes trying to force themselves open. I want to keep looking at her. I want to see those beautiful green eyes looking into mine. I feel something so special inside of me when I look into her eyes. All doesn't seem lost.
“No, sweetheart, close your eyes.” Her voice is so damn soothing. I can feel her stroking my hair back from my forehead. I suddenly feel at peace. I haven't felt at peace in a long time. “The pain medication will make you feel better. All you have to do is sleep.”
“Don't leave me.” It came as a whisper. I didn't even mean to say it, but in my drug induced state, I couldn't stop it.
“I will never leave you.” Her breath against my ear soothes something inside of me. Something I thought would never be calm again. My heart.
Three
Paige
Three days of being Lorenzo Ryker's nurse should have been the highlight of my life. Him confined to his bed while I tended to him in every way imaginable. I couldn't have thought of anything better, my fantasy come true.
Until it became a reality.
He has been nothing but an ass to me the whole time. Nothing I do is good enough. Either I'm being too harsh on his body when trying to help him sit up in a better position, or I'm too rough when giving him a sponge bath, which he won't allow me to do around his private parts. Mores the damn pity. What I wouldn't give to touch that!
But it's my job and I am nothing but professional. But he'd rather do it himself while moaning about not being able to take a shower. Which for some reason, he feels is my fault! How that is possible I'll never know. But he is in a cast, how is he supposed to shower with a cast on his ankle? Pretty soon Dr. Anderson will show him how to bathe and shower without getting his cast wet. Until then, bed baths it is.
If that's not bad enough he snaps at me left, right, and center about every little thing you can think of. I brought his dinner to him earlier and he yelled at me so loudly I dropped the tray, dropping everything on the floor. Sonny jumped up from his seat to help me pick things up, but I've never been so embarrassed in all my life. I hadn't even done anything wrong. I walked in and he screamed at me for not knocking. I didn't even think about it. I should have.
After I got him fresh food, I made sure to knock the door, and then hand the tray to Sonny and leave as quickly as I could.
I thought about asking Tia, my superior, to hand his care over to someone else. I just can't cope with being spoken to
like I'm some kind of idiot who doesn't know what she's doing. Or at least making his life difficult on purpose. I'm good at my job. I enjoy it. I've never had any complaints from other patients before now. Okay, I haven't been working here as long as most, but in the time I have I've built up a good reputation with the patients.
All I have ever done is try to be there for Enzo. When Autumn took her own life, I was the one there to take care of him, making sure he didn't wallow in self-pity, making sure he remembered to eat, to bathe, to get up.
Okay, he didn't want my help then either, but I stuck with it because he needed me. I stayed on his couch every night for weeks in order to make sure he had someone there for him. No matter what he said to me then I knew not to take it to heart because he was grieving.
Right now, I honestly think he's enjoying hurting my feelings every minute of the day. I try to let it go, to brush it to the side like it means nothing. And it never means anything coming from other patients. I can always smile and take it on the chin because I know they don't really mean it, they're just in pain. But with Enzo, I know he means it, and that hurts so much. I will never be anything to him other than the annoying little sister of his best friend.
I managed to get through my shift without asking to pass his case on to someone else. He's being released tomorrow, according to Dr. Anderson, and I cannot wait! At least once he's discharged I can get back to patients that appreciate what I do. Even so, I'm about to check in on him before I go home for the night. Yes, I'm a glutton for punishment.
I take a deep breath before knocking his door and opening it before he has a chance to answer. I know he's alone because his brother and mine left over an hour ago. He's lying in his bed topless and looking at the TV on the wall, watching some car racing film. Typical man.
God, his muscles flex as he moves. He has the body of a God, an eight pack – literally – to die for, biceps that would rival Zeus himself, thick thighs. And the lord knows I want to feel, lick, and fuck every inch of him.
I have to shake my head of thoughts about his body and what I would give anything to do with it and focus.
“What do you want?!”
I physically jump at his tone.
Why does he hate me so much all of a sudden? I hate feeling like this.
“I...I just want to make sure you're okay before I take off.” I wrap my arms around myself.
“Will you just stop fucking checking up on me, you're not my mother!”
I clutch my chest, it's becoming tight and painful. I breathe deep to ward off the panic attack threatening to escape me.
Why is he always such a bastard to me?
What have I done to him?
I really don't understand.
“I'm sorry.” It was barely a whisper. But I can't seem to talk, my emotions are threatening to spill over. I don't cry, crying just is not me, but he makes me want to sometimes. “I was just...”
“I know what you were doing, and I'm telling you for the last time... This,” he points between us, “will never happen. What's it gonna take for you to get that through your thick skull? I don't want you!”
Wow. Just wow. I don't know what to say to him. Our eyes lock for a long moment before he turns away from me, his features tortured. I don't know what's going through his head, but there was really no need to speak to me like that. All I'm doing is trying to help him, not get him into bed... Although I wouldn't mind that.
“I don't know what I've done to make you hate me so much,” I swallow hard. “But I'm sorry. All I was doing was my job, and coming to check on you was me just trying to be your friend. I realize now you don't want that. I'm sorry and I won't bother you anymore.” I don't want for him to respond before leaving his room. What would have been the point?
* * *
I've only made it home before my mother calls to ask me to come over to her house. She said she had something really important to speak to me about. I jump into the shower first. I need to wash the day away. I blow dried my hair before pulling on jeans and a green sweater, and my black ankle boots. I then braid my hair and leave for my mom's. I'm far too tired to apply makeup or even eat dinner first.
Once I get this over with I plan on picking up a pizza and going home to watch a film. Which I fully intend to fall asleep in front of. It has been so long since I had a decent nights sleep that I've had a full on headache for two days.
If staying awake from over forty-eight hours wasn't bad enough, since Enzo became my patient I've slept maybe two hours a night. Plus, I'm always beating my brains out trying to understand why he hates me all of a sudden. The only thing I ever come back to is the fact he's still grieving for Autumn and Charlie. I'm never going to be the one he confides. He's going to meet a girl one day who will crack through that wall he's built against his heart, and she'll be everything to him, and I'll be even more heartbroken than I already am.
So yeah, I'm pretty damn sleep deprived right now.
My mother lives on the other side of town with her long-term boyfriend, my stepdad in every way but legally, and my baby sister. I say baby sister because she's sixteen years younger than me. Layah is seven years old and so beautiful it's unreal. Layah and I don't have the same father, though. Obviously.
Not to say that that is a bad thing, because believe me, it is the most amazing thing to ever have happened. Layah is very lucky in that respect. My father was a violent man. A very, very violent man. He used both my mother and me as punch bags for years. When he found out my mother was pregnant again, he stopped hurting her. My mother hadn't intended to get pregnant, she'd been having the contraceptive injection for years to prevent any accidents. But she'd been ill for months because my father had beaten her half to death. He took what he wanted from her and she ended up pregnant.
Of course, the, “No hurting Kim” lasted all of two weeks. Two weeks until he kicked that baby boy out of her body. Christ, she was so ill I thought I'd lose her. I was so frightened, I was five years old and he kept telling me how it was my fault mommy had to be punished. My fault because I was bad.
My mom tried so hard to leave him after that. So hard but failed every time. In the end, we ran. He was at work one day and she grabbed a bag for her and one for me, and the little money she'd managed to save without my father knowing. We walked into the town we lived in and climbed aboard a bus that took us miles and miles away. We stumbled onto this little town of Oak Springs and managed to rent the house my mother still lives in.
We didn't have much but what we had we took care of. I made a lot of friends at school. And I couldn't deny that I settled into small town life very quickly. Of course, I was jumpy for a while, always wondering if my father was going to find us. It wasn't so easy to push the horrors of what he put us through out of my head. But then, what child ever truly moves on from that kind of thing easily? None. That's how many.
My mother met a man, Bob, who worked at the local garage. A strong mechanic with big muscles, tanned skin, and beautiful deep brown soulful eyes. They got close and started spending a lot of time together. They maintained they were just friends for a while. I guessed my mother didn't trust men after the hell she'd been through with my father. But they fell in love, and Bob, Freddy's father, took really good care of my mom. He made her believe in love and life and herself.
Freddy and I became close, and I loved having a big brother around to look after me. Being eight years older than me meant he really was my big brother. Freddy's mother had died when he was ten and he was happy that he'd finally got a family to love him, and he loved my mother and me.
My mom soon found herself pregnant. She was so scared, but Bob soon made her see that he would never allow anything to happen to her. I've never seen a man love a woman as much as Bob loves my mom. He was with her when Layah was born. Freddy and I were outside waiting for news. Bob was the very proud daddy, I must say. He may not be my father by blood but he treats me like a father would his daughter.
Speaking of father, mine finally
tracked us down after years of searching for us. Layah was just three months old at the time, my mother was still recovering after a tough labor. He attacked my mother and took off with Layah. He took her only to punish my mother and Bob, simply because he believed she had no right to cheat on him with another man and have his child. Not that she'd cheated on him because she wasn't even with him, we'd been gone from his life for years. She may not have filed for divorce, but that was only because she was scared he'd find us if she did.
He took Layah because my mother wouldn't tell him where I was. At the time, I was with Enzo. He was taking care of me and Della. We should have been walking home, but Sonny asked us to go over to his house for ice cream with Callie. Enzo kept us all entertained. If he hadn't, my father would have found me and God only knows what would have happened to me.
Of course, my mother was distraught. She'd built such a bond with Layah, a bond she never got to build with me because my father refused to allow her to hold me when I was a baby. She could only hold me when she was feeding me. Any other time, I was left to cry. Bob told my mother if she never wanted to put Layah down, then he was okay with that. And believe me, when I say, she never wanted to put her down.
Luckily for us, Della's father, the town sheriff, soon tracked my father down to an abandoned warehouse in Turner's Pass. He was arrested, and my sister reunited with my terrified mother. He hadn't harmed Layah, thank God. But my mother refused to let either of us out of her sight after that, even with my father out of the way, she couldn't relax. But Bob was always there to make her see that nothing would ever happen to any of us ever again, because we were his girls, and along with Freddy, we were – are – his life.
