by Lucy Rinaldi
My father was sentenced to ten years in prison. Ten years because he shot a police officer. The officer didn't die, but he was injured. My father also made it clear to anyone that would listen that he would kill anyone who got in his way. In the way of him finding his wife and daughter. Anyone who tried to keep him away from them. The judge told my father that he would never get to hurt my mom and me ever again.
I don't know how the judge could have promised that. There are never any guarantees. Especially with men like Christopher West. I'm only glad my mother changed our surnames when she left him. Not that she uses Monroe either, she hasn't since my sister was born. Estella is her name, just like Bob, Freddy, and Layah. Why don't I have that surname? I don't know. But I feel like the outside in the family. I guess I just don't feel worthy of taking Bob's name.
My mom was finally able to breathe easily, though, after my dad was sent to prison. Because she finally felt safe. Safe with the man she loved more than anything in this world and their little girl. Of course, my mother wanted to pack up and leave at first, scared that we'd never be safe. Bob, the miracle worker that he is where my mother is concerned, talked her down.
It was because of what happened with my father that Freddy decided to become a cop. And he's a damn good one. Deputy sheriff. He singlehandedly saved Callie Ryker's life, after she was attacked by a madman a couple years ago now. Freddy, through the shop front window of Callie's bakery, where the madman held her hostage, fired a bullet that hit the guy straight in head and outright killed him. He was the town hero. And we're all so proud of him.
My mom may have felt safe enough to stay here after my father went to prison, but me not so much. Everywhere I turned for two years after my dad was sentenced, I felt like he was watching me, or that he had people watching me. I was terrified someone would snatch me and take me to him, because I thoroughly believed he'd break out of prison and find me.
Enzo was the one who sat with me and explained how his father had been the same as mine. A violent bully. How his father beat the hell of his mother constantly. The only difference between his father and mine was that his father never laid a hand on him or Sonny. His mother took everything his father had to give in order to protect them. Even if that meant defying him and pushing her son's out of the house so they couldn't get hurt. My mom tried to protect me but it wasn't easy to protect me from my father. He was just... I don't even want to think about him anymore. My life has been good for seven years. I don't need to dwell on the past.
* * *
“Paige!” I'm almost knocked off my feet. My sister may be small for her age, but she's like a bull in a China shop when she's excited.
“Hey,” I hug my little sister tightly. I've missed her more than I realized. “Where's mom?”
“Mom and dad are in the kitchen waiting for you.”
I make my way to the kitchen with my arm wrapped around my baby sisters shoulder. We look nothing alike, my sister and me. She has brown eyes and tanned skin, I have green eyes a pale white skin. In all honesty, she's the image of Freddy.
I don't even look like my mother. Even she has brown eyes. The only thing I have in common with any of them is the color of my hair. Not that I keep my hair brown often, I'm always dying it some funky color or another. Right now, it's a deep burgundy red. I always did like to look different. I guess that's why I have a few tattoos, and one or two piercings in places you wouldn't show your parents... if you get my drift.
I guess what makes me look so different from my family is the fact I am quite pale, and they're all tanned, even my mother. Well, she would being half Spanish. I feel the odd one out with them all when it shouldn't feel like that because I'm treated just the same as my siblings. But sometimes, I think my mom looks at me and sees the monster that hurt her for so many years. It pains me to know that I look like him, that I remind her of him. I'd give anything to look like her instead. I hate that I remind her of painful times. Not that she's ever said anything of the sort, nor has she ever made me feel like she thinks that.
But I can't help feeling it somewhere inside.
My mom, Bob, and Freddy are all sitting around the kitchen table waiting for me, drinking coffee and chatting happily.
“This looks ominous. What's going on?”
My mother smiles at me. She seems really happy but really nervous at the same time. My mom is really pretty for a woman of forty-four. Long brown hair, brown eyes, a big bright smile. One I never saw until she met Bob. And she has the figure of a woman half her age, too.
“Mommy and Daddy are finally getting married!” My baby sister couldn't be more excited if she tried.
Freddy congratulates them, hugging his father and then my mother. Bob and my mom have been together so long now, I'm surprised they weren't married years ago. I am happy for them, but I think I'm a little shocked at the same time. Or maybe I'm just so damn sleep deprived that I'm not really sure the scene playing out in front of me is actually happening. That, and once my mom marries Bob it will just cement that I'm not part of them. Freddy has never felt that way. But me? I can't shake it.
My mom turns to me with a shy smile on her face. “Aren't you going to say anything, sweetheart?”
“When did this happen?”
“Bob asked me last night. Well, he's asked me every month for years.” She laughs happily.
“She finally said “yes” last night.”
“What took you so long?” Why am I snapping at her? She doesn't deserve that. But it has taken her a long time to say yes to him. They've been together so long now I thought they would have been married when I was still a little girl.
“What's wrong with you?”
“Why would anything be wrong with me, Freddy? Apart from the fact, you'll actually be my brother.” I made the last part sound like a joke. I needed to make light of the fact my mom has shocked me. I don't want her to think I'm against her marrying the man she loves more than anything.
But the fact she'll finally have Bob's surname officially and not just pretend like she has for years now is bothering me. Why would it be bothering me? Since she was pregnant with my sister she's used Bob's surname as her own. I've always felt so left out with them all. I hate it.
“Bitch.” He laughs and hugs me.
“Paige?” I turn to look at my mom. She smiles while pulling me into her arms. “What's wrong, sweetheart?”
“Nothing.”
“No matter what, you will always be everything to me.”
“I know that, mom.” I pull away from her and smile. She can see something's bothering me, I also know she won't say anything else about it in front Bob, Freddy, and Layah. Thank God. I'm not in the mood for a heart to heart right now.
“Congratulations...” I forget sometimes that Bob isn't my father, and sometimes I almost say the word to him. I have no idea what stops me so much, it's not he would mind.
Bob hugs me tightly. I don't normally like being touched like this by anyone. Yes, I hug my mom, sister, my friends. But it's always chastised, always has been. I think that's another reason why Kyle fucked around behind my back. I was never the touchy-feely, desperately need you, kind of lover.
But right now, being hugged by Bob feels nice. “I'm not sure what's upsetting you right now,” He speaks quietly in my ear while my mother and Freddy are lost in conversation. “But know that I'm here for you. Just as I'm here for your brother and sister. You are my daughter as much as Layah is, Paige.” He pulls away from me and cups my face. “You know that, don't you?” I nod because I do know that, deep in my heart, I know that. “I love you very much, sweetheart.”
“I love you, too, Dad.” There I said it. And I must say, my heart feels lighter. The smile on his face tells me he's waited a long time to hear me call him dad. He hugs me tightly again before kissing my head.
After congratulating my mother on her engagement, and the fact the wedding is booked for Christmas Eve, and promising her I'll talk to Callie about making her wedding dress, I make
my excuses to go home. I'm beyond tired but something is playing on my mind. Who's going to take care of Enzo when he leaves hospital? He's got a broken ankle and cracked ribs. He lives alone. How is he going to manage with no one to help him?
Because I know he won't let Sonny and Callie help him. He's too proud for that. And he doesn't have any other family living here in Oak Springs. He has distant family in Maine, but he won't have them come here to help him. Enzo is a proud man, a very private man.
Even after everything he said to me, even after the way he made me feel, I still can't walk away from him. I should, he doesn't deserve my help. No, there's only one thing for me to do. Go back to the hospital to see him. I just hope he doesn't bite my head off again. I'm so damn tired that I might just punch him.
Four
Enzo
I've been in this hospital bed for days. I'm so done with it. I want to go home to my own bed. I can't sleep here unless I'm doped up to my two eyeballs. And I fucking hate being doped up! I don't need painkillers I need to get back to normal life.
I'm a terrible patient. I don't know how Paige has put up with me. I've done nothing but snap at her and make her feel like crap. And I was a complete cunt to her earlier. Why did I speak to her the way I did? Why did I tell her she and I could never be anything to each other? We can't, but I didn't need to speak to her the way I did.
The look on her beautiful face tore my heart out and I had to turn away from her. She thinks I fucking hate her. How could I let her think that I hate her? I'm a fucking cunt, that's why. That, and I'm sick to death of my brother pointing it out. It's not like I'm deliberately trying to upset her. I just don't understand why each time I close my eyes I see her leaning over me. Her beautiful smile that reaches her mesmerizing green eyes. That rocking body of her. Her lips touching mine, sending me crazy with want. Her hands traveling down my body until she reaches me co... “Good evening.” Fuck. Shit.
My eyes dart wide open. Somebody always has to disturb my sexual thoughts about Paige. Not that I should be having any such thoughts about Paige let alone sexual ones.
As my eyes come into focus I realize that's exactly who's walking towards me with a smile on her face, Paige. God, those fucking jeans are so tight. I can only imagine how tight her ass looks in those jeans right now. Better still, how it looks out of them.
Wait, is she a glutton for punishment or what?
“What the hell are you doing here?” Why did I have to snap at her like that? What the fuck is wrong with me?!
She flinches a little and stops in her tracks. There's that look in her eyes again, the painful look she gives each time I snap or say something not necessary. It lasts only a second before she masks it, but I see it every single time.
“Well, I just came to see how you're doing. I know you told me not to but I guess I don't believe that you don't want me as a friend anymore.” She shrugs.
“But if you're going to be a jackass to me again I won't bother. I'll just leave.” She turns her heel to leave.
She shouldn't be here checking on me, she should be home getting some much-needed rest. She's got dark circles forming under her eyes, and the fact she's not wearing makeup makes them more visible.
“No, wait!” I try pulling myself up, but the pain in my ribs causes me to hiss through my teeth.
“Sit back,” She pushes me back by my shoulders. I hadn't even realized she'd walked back towards me. “Why must you be such a stubborn patient?”
I rest my back against the pillow behind me as I look up at her. God, she's so beautiful. I can feel the heat of her body against my bare chest. I can see her chest rising and falling, her breasts falling heavily with every breath she takes. “I'm sorry. For what I said earlier and they way I've been acting towards you.” I offer up.
“It's fine.” Her eyes close as I tuck a stray strand of hair that's fallen from her ponytail behind her ear. I just want to touch her. I want to know that I have the same effect on her that she has on me.
Of course, I do, she's biting her bottom lip with her eyes closed, all the time trying to steady her breathing. The flush creeping up her neck proves she's aroused right now. I used to see the same flush when she was teenager every time I so much as smiled at her.
I slide my thumb over her full lips. I want so badly to kiss those perfect full lips of hers right now. I want to know what it feels like to taste her lip gloss on my tongue as I kiss her with reckless abandon. I want to slide my fingers into her hair as I hold her head in place. I want... So much.
“You're so beautiful.” And just like that, she pulls away from me. There's so much confusion written on her face. I've done that to her, confused her with the way I act towards her. One minute I'm a bastard, the next I'm touching her any way I can because I need to feel her. “I'm sorry.”
“I'm your nurse, Enzo. Nothing more.”
“Yes, I know. Kyle.”
“Kyle?” She narrows her eyes in confusion while folding her arms around her body. “What's he got to do with anything?”
“You're together. Even though I have no clue why when all he does is cheat on you.”
She raises her eyebrow at me. “You know that yet you've never once said anything to me about it. Wouldn't a friend tell another friend if they knew something like that was going on? Maybe save them the embarrassment of finding out another way?”
“How could you not know, the whole friggin' town knows.”
“Well, I guess that just makes me stupid. But thanks anyway.”
“That's not what I meant, Paige. Don't put words in my mouth. I wanted to tell you. But you looked...”
“Happy?” I nod. “Yeah. Looks can be deceiving, Enzo.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Nothing at all. Look, I'm not here to talk about Kyle and me. I'm here to ask who's going to be helping you out once you go home. It's not ideal for you to be alone. You're going to need help.”
“No, I don't. I can take care of myself.”
“Please don't be so stubborn, Enzo. You're not going to be able to bathe and get around the house without help.”
She's right, but I'm not the kind of man who has people in and out of my house thinking I need them. It pissed me off after Autumn died and Paige refused to leave my house because she thought I need help. I have never needed anyone in my life and I'm not about to start now. Maybe with the exception of Paige. I don't want to need her, but I don't think I can stop myself.
When did this beautiful woman grow up?
One minute she was a chubby teenager living across the street from me, the next she's this gorgeous, hot, sexy, feisty woman who has me so confused inside that I don't even know who I am anymore. Her constant change in hair color, those damn tattoos, and the knowledge of piercings in places so personal only a lover would find them drives me crazy.
And how do I know about these piercings? Kyle had a big mouth. He also almost had a broken jaw for talking about Paige like that.
“I don't need anybody's help.”
“I know you're a proud man and you like your privacy, and you don't like asking for help. But I worry about you.” She rubs her forehead with her hand.
Why is she so worried about me? I'm not worth it, why doesn't she understand that?
“I worry so much about you that it keeps me up at night, do you know that?” I shake my head slightly. “Well, it does. I won't have you going home without someone being there to help you. And I doubt you want your brother helping you bathe and such. So I'm willing to help you with your everyday needs until you're back on your feet.”
“And how are you planning to do that when you have to work. And from what I've seen, you never clock off.”
“I do clock off! Point is, I have the next two weeks off work. I can use those two weeks to help you. Things will become easier for you after that.”
“I have to wear the cast for another five weeks.”
“Yes, and I can still come check on you before and after work. I've a
lready sorted my shifts out with my boss in advance. I won't be working nights, and I won't be doing sixteen-hour shifts. Not until your cast comes off at least.”
“Why would you do this?”
“Because,” She exhales loudly, “You might hate me, Enzo, but you're still my friend, even if I'm not yours.”
“I don't hate you, Paige.” Her eyes scan mine, darting from side to side. “I have never hated you. I'm just a grumpy son of a bitch and I take that out on you. I shouldn't and I'm sorry.”
“Apology excepted.” There it is, that beautiful smile that hits me square in the chest each time I see it. “Will you let me help you?”
Let me think about this. Paige Monroe in my house helping me bathe and dress? I know I can do it myself, but I can't deny having her touching me in any way is most appealing right now. But why hasn't she given up on me? Surely, after the way I've treated her, she should have given up by now? But she hasn't and I can tell from the fire in her eyes that she has no intentions of giving up anytime soon. She's just that special.
“Okay,” I say with a sigh. Well, come on, I can't have her thinking I want this as badly as I do.
“Okay?”
“Under one condition.”
She sighs loudly. “How did I know you'd say that. Okay, what condition?”
“You move into my place for these two weeks. That way should I need anything you'll be there to help me.”
She raises both eyebrows before laughing to herself. She rubs her forehead with her hand. “Okay, fine. But I'm there to help you, nothing more. And I'm not going to be your slave in any way so don't even think about it. Right?”
“Right.” I agree.
No, she won't be my slave, but I'm going to make sure she knows why she should never want anything to do with a fucked up guy like me. As much as I want her, I need to protect her. And I will do anything to make sure she's protected.
